Her top comment infuriated me, even though I didn’t expect differently. There’s pittance in UK foster care and you add petrol, complete disruption to your family’s schedule (eg. If a contact session changes, that takes priority, so your plans are cancelled, attempts to do several school or nursery runs), FC often topping up very small social services allowances and providing clothes out of their own pocket for youngsters, there’s no financial aspect at all. The career thing comes from two different views FC have that are debated at times within the industry (I’m sure there are plenty in between too) - some still see it as parenting, but are trying to highlight that with all the commitments (including clear and detailed log notes, attending contact sessions etc), it’s also a career choice. This tends to be linked to providing more support, training and better pay for a difficult job. The other side argue it’s just parenting, but this side are often the older generation of carers and - in a sense - see it more as a charitable family act and want to get on with what they’ve got.
Neither side of debate means they don’t care deeply about the children, tuck them in at night and so on. They will offer hugs but not force them because of potential abuse and child’s rights. They may hug a child to the side of them if sexually inappropriate behaviour becomes and issue and give clear guidance on ‘the way we hug’ to help children relearn what’s appropriate. They aren’t supposed to tickle them (the tickler can be the one with power) and they have to follow safer caring rules to protect the children and themselves. This is all in place for specific reasons.
Equally, if there are multiple children from multiple families placed then needs may cross slightly. In relation to the telly comment, if a child in the house was very unused to quiet and it was distressing them, the foster care may keep the telly on to meet this need and then gradually reduce it. Equally, if a child only ever ate baked beans on toast and rich tea biscuits, they’d sometimes start from that point to introduce new meals. It’s very easy for foster carers to get slated for their techniques because they’re the opposite of the way you parent neurotypical, non traumatised children. Some adoptive parents are surprised at first too, but often then use other techniques.
There have been big changes since I was adopted (v early 90s), which was really the start of those changes, but nowadays, substandard parenting isn’t very accepted for foster carers and the appearance of it tends to be in relation to gradually supporting the children through change rather than anything else. There are a few times a foster carer or adoptive parent slips through that net and COVID complicated assessments, but on the whole, these are people involved in the fostering and adoption community who are regularly assessed and have specific training.