I find it quite astonishing you were blocked in that way Batface. I believe there are many uncomfortable truths regarding the way in which Helen met her killer and these uncomfortable truths must be addressed. I hope after Ian Stewart is thrown in prison where he belongs, people will seek to learn a few lessons from her tragedy. The internet and specifically online forums are the perfect environment for a predator to thrive. He was hiding in plain sight and that should worry all of us!
BBM
That is what we hope for, and hopefully lessons will be learned.
However, I am no optimist. I spend a lot of time on the case of an American pilgrim who disappeared on her way to Santiago de Compostela in Spain.
The general mantra on the Pilgrim forums is that the Camino is safe, safe, safe! People stick to it like a life line.
I feel safe, therefore I am safe. Even when the missing pilgrim was finally found - brutally murdered - the rule of thumb appeared to be that This Was An Exception.
Reality was different. The perpetrator had been laying traps for his victims, he had at least attacked two other female pilgrims in the previous year, the police had let him go and to this day LE does not exclude that he may have made other victims. Pilgrims were not informed that this specific part of the Camino was unsafe until it was too late. Knowing the murdered pilgrim, she would not have walked alone as she did that fatal day if she had been aware of the danger.
Enough cause for ANGER but that did not happen. Quite the contrary.
It has been and still is extremely difficult to inform people, pilgrims about this. Walking on egg shells is nothing to it. Any suggestion that women should take better care of their safety is met with sometimes enormous backlash like Who Are You To Take Away the God Given Rights of Women to Travel Alone?? Or Women should be Encouraged to Travel Alone, you should not Stop Them and Keep them Chained to the Kitchen Sink!
The loudest voices seem to want to go on as if nothing ever happened and everything is fine. Preserving their happy bubble is their main concern. If lessons are being learned, those wheels are moving slowly.
IMHO the difference between theory and practice has something to do with this. So theoretically you know that predators exist, and may be present on your journey. But in practice, the road looks nice, the village is beautiful, or the person you are chatting with of a forum is such fun and understands your concerns so well.
I've been there too, on a different kind of forum. I was warned about online predators by an online predator! What better hiding place could there be? I was
so happy and thankful to meet such nice people.
i imagine that on Planet Grief, the need for companionship is 1000x higher and the energy to cope with deceit is less than zero. Posing as a widower when you are not is one thing, it can be checked, it must be checked, but IS was indeed a widower. And no impostor in that respect.