UK - Nurse Lucy Letby Faces 22 Charges - 7 Murder/15 Attempted Murder of Babies #3

[Powermjp]

I can also read on the last sentence "I don't deserve mum + dad the world would be better off without me" and there are two last words I can't make out

 

[Dcflag]

If you follow on to the next line I think the whole sentence is

"I killed them on purpose because I'm not good enough to care for them + I am a horrible evil person" then she's inserted "killing me" right on top of "care for them"

IMO

Sounds like.. potentially the defence could explain such anguish as the fact she was one of the more senior nurses. On an understaffed ward in a hospital that’s provide sub par care, caring for babies that perhaps needed level 3 care, or more senior staff members than just herself. A bit like a hole in your boat and a bucket.

I guess as well it depends on the way you take it. I suppose I can understand why someone else might read it as a confession.

Edit: it could certainly serve as an effective first draft of a letter to be left behind

 

[Marantz4250b]

not a single gram of pity for all the dead babies or even one of them..

Depends how you read it. The phrases "I deserve to die" and "I'm evil" tends to suggest otherwise, she just doesn't say it specifically.

 

[Ruby12345]

f you follow on to the next line I think the whole sentence is

"I killed them on purpose because I'm not good enough to care for them + I am a horrible evil person" then she's inserted "killing me" right on top of "care for them"

There's two words before that, can anyone make out what they are?

I think it's many _____ like it could be many think or many say?

 

[Whitehall 1212]

One reserve has already gone, according to the reporting, along with one regular juror. That suggests there aren't any reserves left.

I can't edit my original post as it's now locked.

The jury started with 14 instead of the standard 12 for most CC trials. This is for longer trials. There were no reserves as such.

In exceptional cases the jury could go down to 9 and still function, but no lower.

In such a case surely mental resilience and ability to process volumes of unfamiliar material should be a pre-requisites.

I am concerned that no such assessment was made of potential jurors or that measures may not have been put in place to facilitate jurors to process the numerous upsetting aspects, i.e. psychologists, counsellors at the court. Surely there is a statutory duty of care

I am greatly concerned, like you, that this is a threat to this case proceeding to a conclusion.

 

[merrypason]

Sounds like.. potentially the defence could explain such anguish as the fact she was one of the more senior nurses. On an understaffed ward in a hospital that’s provide sub par care, caring for babies that perhaps needed level 3 care, or more senior staff members than just herself. A bit like a hole in your boat and a bucket.

I guess as well it depends on the way you take it. I suppose I can understand why someone else might read it as a confession.

Edit: it could certainly serve as an effective first draft of a letter to be left behind

Hmm I think they'd have to prove she felt this anguish BEFORE she was investigated. Anguish after being suspected could be guilt.

Because this note is after she was moved to admin duties. Surely, if she felt this way about work, it would have manifested previously in the 5 years she worked there, or with that spate of deaths. She would have said something to someone - friends, colleagues or just had notes lying around the house?

All we know so far is she told friends she was bored and unfulfilled, and the days were slow. I guess that's what the defence will have to prove - that she felt this way all along.

 

[branmuffin]

Not necessarily strange. The smile is basic human communication and can have many meanings.

A few extracts.

People also use smiles to reassure others, to be polite, and to communicate trustworthiness, belonging, and good intentions. Smiles like these have been characterized as “affiliation” smiles because they function as social connectors.

A gentle smile is often perceived as a sign of compassion

The sheer dexterity of human emotion is astonishing. So, we’re able to smile in the midst of both emotional and physical pain.

Experts at the National Institutes of Health think that the ability to smile and laugh during the grieving process protects you while you recover. Interestingly, scientists think we might smile during physical pain for protective purposes, too.

10 Main Types of Smiles and What They Really Mean

Researchers have identified 10 main types of smiles. Here’s an explanation of these smiles, what they mean, and how they may affect the people you encounter.

www.healthline.com

Absolutely true. One of the 'facts' that Alex Jones used in his diatribe about the Sandy Hook school killings was that one of the fathers of a dead child smiled during an interview with a TV reporter. Based on that smile he purported that the massacre was fake, that the kids didn't exist and the parents were crisis actors.

 

[infinit]

I’ve suffered from depressive anguish myself, but these are really strong, confessional statements she’s alleged to have written here. I’d be very curious to know if LL has ever had documented mental health issues, as if she hasn’t I’m not sure the defence will be able to sell this note as being the spilling out of someone on the edge. This is dark, potentially incriminating stuff. JMHO.

One thing that sticks out to me is how small that writing must be if that's a standard-sized post-it note. I was more expecting large writing across multiple post-it notes, not one with everything crammed on.

I've suffered with MH issues also, and when I was at my lowest wrote a suicide note. Not that it is exactly the same situation to her but I did it fast, in (relatively) big writing and pressed the pen into the page very strongly, there was a lot of venom and pain I was putting onto the page. I will say what she has done with the word Hate is something similar to something I did. But overall that is not what I was expecting.

 

[MachinaCollecta]

One thing that sticks out to me is how small that writing must be if that's a standard-sized post-it note. I was more expecting large writing across multiple post-it notes, not one with everything crammed on.

I've suffered with MH issues also, and when I was at my lowest wrote a suicide note. Not that it is exactly the same situation but I did it fast and in (relatively) big writing, there was a lot of venom and pain I was putting onto the page. I will say what she has done with the word Hate is something similar to something I did. But overall that is not what I was expecting.

Oh absolutely, I have also written very similar, self hating things when in a depressive mood. She seems to be fitting a lot of little phrases on to one note, and they’re enormously self critical in many of the statements. There’s also a few that veer into being self-pity, and then the stuff at the bottom which implies some sort of confession if you read it that way. There’s a lot going on.

 

[Dcflag]

Hmm I think they'd have to prove she felt this anguish BEFORE she was investigated. Anguish after being suspected could be guilt.

Because this note is after she was moved to admin duties. Surely, if she felt this way about work, it would have manifested previously in the 5 years she worked there, or with that spate of deaths. She would have said something to someone - friends, colleagues or just had notes lying around the house?

All we know so far is she told friends she was bored and unfulfilled, and the days were slow. I guess that's what the defence will have to prove - that she felt this way all along.

I would even argue this could potentially have been written after the first arrest. It’s very much a note with an expectation that her life is over and she’ll be in prison a long time.

 

[Marantz4250b]

Where she says, "I don't deserve Mum + dad" there are two other words below Mum + Dad in the same format. Are these names? Family members?

 

[Whitehall 1212]

Yes, that's what I'm getting at.

Any conditional bail conditions, set by the police each time she was released from custody, could have imposed restrictions on social media use or access to internet enabled devices. I have no idea if this was done though.

 

[Dcflag]

Where she says, "I don't deserve Mum + dad" there are two other words below Mum + Dad in the same format. Are these names? Family members?

The second is Matt. The first my best guess would be Tarn or Tan (Tanya?)

 

[Marantz4250b]

One thing that sticks out to me is how small that writing must be if that's a standard-sized post-it note. I was more expecting large writing across multiple post-it notes, not one with everything crammed on.

I've suffered with MH issues also, and when I was at my lowest wrote a suicide note. Not that it is exactly the same situation to her but I did it fast, in (relatively) big writing and pressed the pen into the page very strongly, there was a lot of venom and pain I was putting onto the page. I will say what she has done with the word Hate is something similar to something I did. But overall that is not what I was expecting.

It's been suggested, perhaps tacitly, that she was a somewhat introverted person. Is the format of this note a manifestation of that sort of personality, I wonder?

 

[infinit]

Where she says, "I don't deserve Mum + dad" there are two other words below Mum + Dad in the same format. Are these names? Family members?

Yeah, I think they are names.

 

[Dotta]

The Sun is reporting she took the photos AFTER they were dead? Is that mentioned anywhere else? Was it without the parents' knowledge then if it was on her phone?

"She also took a photograph of two babies' bodies after she killed them, the court heard"

Nurse 'wrote "I'm evil, I killed them on purpose" after murdering 7 babies'

A NURSE accused of murdering seven babies handwrote a confession saying “I’m evil, I did this”, a court heard today. Lucy Letby, 32, allegedly wrote on a green Post-It note s…

www.thesun.co.uk

I think it is forbidden by law (where I live) to take photos of anyone without the permission - in this case permission provided by parents.

Moo

 

[Marantz4250b]

The second is Matt. The first my best guess would be Tarn or Tan (Tanya?)

I thought Matt. Thought the first might have been Tom?

 

[kittythehare]

Depends how you read it. The phrases "I deserve to die" and "I'm evil" tends to suggest otherwise, she just doesn't say it specifically.

We all see everything through our own personal filters though.
And that is fine.
I see a kind of a circular dangerous rage in the writing, words, style, indentations, like a rage that repels me physically.
But I have no understanding of it because I have no insight into her personality.
It's not even the words...it's more.
And if I flip it and shake it around it brings me to 'her majesty, the baby'
And that seems to be the whole nature of her defence.
She has become the only baby in the room and I'm too well triggered right now to even to begin to respect that justice can ever be served in this case.

 

[Marantz4250b]

At the top right, does she say "I pay every day for that night now"?

 

[Supernovae]

The second is Matt. The first my best guess would be Tarn or Tan (Tanya?)

I think it's Tom + Matt (her brothers?)