UK - Pregnant at 11 years old

[kazzbar]

Hi Narla, I love little B too. You know I think you are right about not enough money to fund Social Services. We had a case here a few years ago. The Mum was a junky and the toddler lived with her. mum overdosed and the toddler died from dehydration. A month later the Social Worker checked the apartment and there they both were dead. Pension money was still going into the bank account and the neighbours took no notice even when the child was crying for help.This is truly shocking. Turns out the S worker was flat out with other cases and just put this one and the follow up on the back burner!:doh:

 

[narlacat]

Yeah but no but yeah but, I never even did nothin' or nothin'

That is a sad story kazz and yep, that's what happens...cases get put on the back burner
I know of a girl who was a drug addict (junkie if you will) too and left her baby outside whilst she was sunbaking, the baby got so badly burnt because she fell asleep, as they do.
The baby got taken off this girl and she had to prove she was rehabilitated before she got bubby back....
They try their best with the resources they have I guess....

 

[Amraann]

The problem is not that these girls don't think they can get pregnant IMO..

Its that.. in bad upbrinings that most always include abuse or neglect they have very low self esteems...
They seek self assurance by seeking attention and often that attention and approval comes from the wrong place. Like they confuse sex with positive attention.
The bad parenting that leads to this is what needs to be addressed.

 

[concernedperson]

The problem is not that these girls don't think they can get pregnant IMO..

Its that.. in bad upbrinings that most always include abuse or neglect they have very low self esteems...
They seek self assurance by seeking attention and often that attention and approval comes from the wrong place. Like they confuse sex with positive attention.
The bad parenting that leads to this is what needs to be addressed.

Great post, and something that needs to be considered more. An 11 year old is not equipped to deal with abuse or neglect. Mostly they would enjoy playing with dolls but that opportunity may not have been available.Thrust into an adult situation at an early age is not a good outcome for a child.

There will be repercussions..how severe? Not known for every situation but there will be repercussions.

 

[narlacat]

Exactly Ammraan, well said.
The poor girl probably never had a chance, she probably never knew her father and was out looking for the attention and love she never received from him.

 

[luvbeaches]

The Mother should be charged right along side the 15 YO.

I agree. This is really a sad story. That poor baby (the one she's about to give birth to) doesn't stand a chance in that family.

 

[dingo]

I think a lot of young girls in Australia are having babies purposly to collect the $4OOO the government hand over for every new born baby.:furious:

 

[caffeinatd]

I agree. This is really a sad story. That poor baby (the one she's about to give birth to) doesn't stand a chance in that family.

She gave birth, the baby, a girl, had some respiratory problems, not sure of what her status is now.

 

[narlacat]

I think a lot of young girls in Australia are having babies purposly to collect the $4OOO the government hand over for every new born baby.:furious:

Me thinks so too Dingo.

 

[dingo]

Me thinks so too Dingo.

The sad part is that the young girls see the $ signs...but dont realize that this money would be lucky to last them a couple of months in the world of baby raising......makes me angry that the government is helping to incourage the births of unwanted babies to unwed mothers.........Ive finished now

 

[narlacat]

Makes me angry too Dingo.
My little niece, well I guess she's not that little lol, but she was 17 when she fell pregnant...and I swear that baby never saw any of that money and yep, she's planning on having another one
She doesn't look after the one she's got.
She just can't wait to get her hands on that money.

 

[lizziedripping]

I think the UK Government has made it far too easy for teenage girls, and believe me, we have many many 'Vicky Pollards' around.

They know if they get pregnant, they don't have to worry where they will live and how they will manage for money. They know that not only will they eventually receive a house, they will also receive the money to live in it!
They will receive help with furnishing, money on a weekly basis, free prescriptions, free dental treatment, free eye tests & glasses, legal aid................ the list is endless!

So, not only is everyone in my household working full time to pay for all of the above for ourselves, we are working to contribute towards the unmarried Mums who don't have a care in the world, they set out their stall and us taxpayers have to fill it for them.

AMEN..........

 

[dingo]

I think the UK Government has made it far too easy for teenage girls, and believe me, we have many many 'Vicky Pollards' around.

They know if they get pregnant, they don't have to worry where they will live and how they will manage for money. They know that not only will they eventually receive a house, they will also receive the money to live in it!
They will receive help with furnishing, money on a weekly basis, free prescriptions, free dental treatment, free eye tests & glasses, legal aid................ the list is endless!

So, not only is everyone in my household working full time to pay for all of the above for ourselves, we are working to contribute towards the unmarried Mums who don't have a care in the world, they set out their stall and us taxpayers have to fill it for them.

AMEN..........

Lizzie......you.ve got me started again ..this is a pet hate of mine....I know of a girl with 5 kids...shes 23....shes laughing while trying for another one...my husband works long hrs in a dangerous job and he pays big taxes....it burrs me to think that our tax money goes to these women...girls

 

[lizziedripping]

Lizzie......you.ve got me started again ..this is a pet hate of mine....I know of a girl with 5 kids...shes 23....shes laughing while trying for another one...my husband works long hrs in a dangerous job and he pays big taxes....it burrs me to think that our tax money goes to these women...girls

Oh sorry Dingo..... I too have been ranting on about this in my office, they must be sick of me this morning!

What gets me is, whenever you go shopping, you see these girls pushing their babies in designer prams, wearing designer clothes and shoes. The Mums are dressed in designer gear also and they all seem to have the latest mobiles, I am not going to get into how they afford it again....... It just makes me angry when my daughter has to work hard and save up to afford these things, but then again she wouldn't change a thing, she has standards!!! MEOW!!

 

[dingo]

Oh sorry Dingo..... I too have been ranting on about this in my office, they must be sick of me this morning!

What gets me is, whenever you go shopping, you see these girls pushing their babies in designer prams, wearing designer clothes and shoes. The Mums are dressed in designer gear also and they all seem to have the latest mobiles, I am not going to get into how they afford it again....... It just makes me angry when my daughter has to work hard and save up to afford these things, but then again she wouldn't change a thing, she has standards!!! MEOW!!

Oh LIzzie...my daughter has standards too,she works hard aswell not interested in having kids.atm....pat yourself on the back Lizzie...youve raised your girl well:blowkiss:

 

[lizziedripping]

Oh LIzzie...my daughter has standards too,she works hard aswell not interested in having kids.atm....pat yourself on the back Lizzie...youve raised your girl well:blowkiss:

You deserve a pat on the back too Dingo.... here's to you :blowkiss:

My daughter went through a rebellious stage a couple of years ago, but thank goodness a baby wasn't on her agenda at that time, or anytime in the near future??

I just hope the teenager (oops, sorry she's not even a teenager yet) in Scotland gets her a$$ into gear and focuses on her new baby as opposed to smoking 20 roll ups a day, drinking alcohol and sleeping with boys at parties.

 

[TisHerself]

You deserve a pat on the back too Dingo.... here's to you :blowkiss:

My daughter went through a rebellious stage a couple of years ago, but thank goodness a baby wasn't on her agenda at that time, or anytime in the near future??

I just hope the teenager (oops, sorry she's not even a teenager yet) in Scotland gets her a$$ into gear and focuses on her new baby as opposed to smoking 20 roll ups a day, drinking alcohol and sleeping with boys at parties.

In order for that 12 yr old child to do that she needs real guidance. She is not going to be able to get her a$$ into gear etc: unless she is taken away from the enviroment she lives in and given a fighting chance at a decent moral life.

She would not be in the circumstances she was in IF the adults in her life had done their jobs as parents properly and not neglected her... She is only 12 yrs old a baby having a baby, I think it is terribly sad. She should be just starting to even like boys instead her life is so tainted. And now another little baby is brought into the mix of this. Her Mother should be hanging her head in shame but the chances are she was raised the exact same way.

 

[lizziedripping]

In order for that 12 yr old child to do that she needs real guidance. She is not going to be able to get her a$ into gear etc: unless she is taken away from the enviroment she lives in and given a fighting chance at a decent moral life.

She would not be in the circumstances she was in IF the adults in her life had done their jobs as parents properly and not neglected her... She is only 12 yrs old a baby having a baby, I think it is terribly sad. She should be just starting to even like boys instead her life is so tainted. And now another little baby is brought into the mix of this. Her Mother should be hanging her head in shame but the chances are she was raised the exact same way.

Yes you're right she does need real guidance, and not the kind she was getting at home. What I meant by getting her a$$ in gear was quit the smoking 20 cigs a day, partying and drinking alcohol, and concentrate on her new born baby.
Having said that, she must have known that having unprotected sex can produce babies, her Mum's living proof of that!!
I just hope she does something with the help she and her baby are in desperate need of, and that she turns out to be a better Mum than her own. Oh, and that she doesn't let history repeat itself, otherwise she could be a grandmother herself at the age of 24!!

 

[TisHerself]

Yes you're right she does need real guidance, and not the kind she was getting at home. What I meant by getting her a$$ in gear was quit the smoking 20 cigs a day, partying and drinking alcohol, and concentrate on her new born baby.
Having said that, she must have known that having unprotected sex can produce babies, her Mum's living proof of that!!
I just hope she does something with the help she and her baby are in desperate need of, and that she turns out to be a better Mum than her own. Oh, and that she doesn't let history repeat itself, otherwise she could be a grandmother herself at the age of 24!!

Is she getting help? and what kind? and in all reality think about it, she is 12 yrs old what kind of mother could she possibly be? She cannot even take care of herself, and it so very obvious that her mother is useless. Who is going to raise this baby? Her, she is still a child, the mother? enough said she is a grandmother at 34. And is proud of her 12 yr old child for wanting to keep the baby no less. (Heaven help us)

Unless they either take the baby away from her or take her out of that enviroment entirely chances are she will repeat the same pattern. It's like you said in an earlier post she will get money to take care of the baby. Dental, medical, rent etc. She has no adults in her life who can giude her on the right things to do. It is a very very sad situation.

 

[lizziedripping]

Is she getting help? and what kind? and in all reality think about it, she is 12 yrs old what kind of mother could she possibly be? She cannot even take care of herself, and it so very obvious that her mother is useless. Who is going to raise this baby? Her, she is still a child, the mother? enough said she is a grandmother at 34. And is proud of her 12 yr old child for wanting to keep the baby no less. (Heaven help us)

Unless they either take the baby away from her or take her out of that enviroment entirely chances are she will repeat the same pattern. It's like you said in an earlier post she will get money to take care of the baby. Dental, medical, rent etc. She has no adults in her life who can giude her on the right things to do. It is a very very sad situation.

I agree, it certainly is a sad situation. I would imagine she will certainly get help and guidance from the Social Services from hereon. She has already been told that she can't go back to live with her Mum as there is not enough room. I know what you are saying, I still see my daughter as a baby and she's 18. It's more than likely that the new baby will be brought up the way her 12 year old Mum has, no Father, no role model. Maybe I am just hoping that she will take a different turn and want a better life for herself and her baby, but she's got to be guided in that direction, but by whom, certainly not her useless Mum?