Let me chime in here. I am a female attorney who is also LDS. I adopted a child who had been severely abused. After realizing what kids go through that have had so much trauma, I gave up my legal career to fight for foster children and children with special needs. I have spoken at numerous conferences to educate on trauma and abuse and healing. My heart is 100% with abuse victims. Having said that, let me clarify a few things.This sounds like certain religious faith bashing. I am sure most of us can recall horrific crimes committed by folks from from ALL or no religions. Very sad. Goodnight all.![]()
Let me chime in here. I am a female attorney who is also LDS. I adopted a child who had been severely abused. After realizing what kids go through that have had so much trauma, I gave up my legal career to fight for foster children and children with special needs. I have spoken at numerous conferences to educate on trauma and abuse and healing. My heart is 100% with abuse victims. Having said that, let me clarify a few things.
1. The appropriate term is LDS or the full name of the church. "Mormon" is not used any more. (I do realize the irony of my name here. It was created years ago and I can't change it.)
2. Abuse happens anywhere an abuser can gain control or access to potential victims. It happens among rich and poor, all nationalities, all religions, all education levels, all genders and on and on. The common denominator is an immature individual who seeks control over the vulnerable. This exists everywhere, including, but, not limited to, the LDS church and every other entity or culture or situation where an abuser can control and dominate.
3. Like many faiths, the LDS church accepts all types of people. Abuse is often very covert and difficult to detect. Victims often protect the abuser because of a trauma bond or other dynamic. I can't tell you how many families I have worked with of all types where the victims are extremely loyal to the abuser. This makes gathering information and reporting very difficult.
4. In the LDS church, abuse is reason for excommunication. However, refer to the above regarding the huge reluctance of victims to turn on the perpetrator, both for safety reasons and loyalty.
5. I would hope this story, rather than condemning an entire faith, would raise awareness of abuse. Like I said, I cannot tell you all the different variations of abuse I have seen. Abuse is everywhere. It is very hard to detect because families often put on a front to protect the family dynamic. In addition, the victims know the power of the abuser. To leave is to risk death. This case illustrates that.
6. Nothing I am saying here is met to condemn victims.I love every family I have worked with. I share this just to share that abuse dynamics are very complicated in that the victims learn not to turn on the perpetrator and hide what is happening. This is so understandable because they know what can happen if they turn on the abuser. They are forced to walk on eggshells to stay safe and alive.
I hope this helps clarify some things. I am open to any questions. My heart breaks for this family and their community. There is no justification for abuse - ever. But it is often very difficult for victims to get help or to leave. This case should awake everyone to the fact that abuse can happen anywhere regardless of culture, religion, career, gender, sexual orientation. And it is everywhere.
I'm stumbling here. We have 7 people murdered by a family member. Yet 4 young adults murdered by a stranger in Idaho capture our attention to many hundreds of magnitudes in comparison. I'm not saying it shouldn't (I am devastated by those senseless, vicious murders), but we write off domestic violence like it's nothing. I guess that's because we believe that domestic violence can't happen to us if we have 'good lives' yet stranger violence COULD happen to us so it's more random and shocking.
My point is that every life lost to violence matters equally. But we don't treat them as such.
(And don't get me going on indigenous lives!!! or lives of people who live high risk lifestyles!)
Thank you for reading my rant. I just needed to get that out of my system. My apologies.
I didn't view it as religion bashing. It's people criticizing THAT member of a religion.This sounds like certain religious faith bashing. I am sure most of us can recall horrific crimes committed by folks from from ALL or no religions. Very sad. Goodnight all.![]()
One other thing. Gabby and Brian were becoming semi-public figures because they had a very popular YouTube channel.The exact same time Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie were in Moab being questioned by police over a DV incident, a married lesbian couple were shot to death in their tent at a campsite near Moab in broad daylight. As the US subsequently turned itself inside out trying to find Gabby, with breathless coverage all over MSM, this case of two murdered women was largely ignored and received only cursory, very local coverage.
It's blond girl syndrome -- if a victim is young, blond, attractive and female, MSM will fall all over themselves with nation wide coverage. The three young women murdered in Moscow, ID certainly fit this description.
Kudos to police who worked incredibly hard to identify the perps in Moab, UT and Moscow, ID.
It’s weird the wife’s family cautioned not to use the story as a political narrative then proceeds to push a political narrative.![]()
Utah father took guns from home before killing 7, leaving family 'vulnerable,' relative says
The Utah father who shot and killed his family removed weapons from the home days before the killings, leaving them vulnerable because they were trained in gun safety, a relative says.www.ksl.com
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Southern Utah shooting: 'No one ever thought this would happen'
Friends and family talked about the family of Tausha and Michael Haight and the last time they saw them before police say Michael Haight shot and killed them all before killing himself.www.ksl.com
In my opinion, every group or religion has its extremists and those are who are being scrutinized typically, I felt that was the case here MOOOne other thing. Gabby and Brian were becoming semi-public figures because they had a very popular YouTube channel.
I'm stumbling here. We have 7 people murdered by a family member. Yet 4 young adults murdered by a stranger in Idaho capture our attention to many hundreds of magnitudes in comparison. I'm not saying it shouldn't (I am devastated by those senseless, vicious murders), but we write off domestic violence like it's nothing. I guess that's because we believe that domestic violence can't happen to us if we have 'good lives' yet stranger violence COULD happen to us so it's more random and shocking.
My point is that every life lost to violence matters equally. But we don't treat them as such.
(And don't get me going on indigenous lives!!! or lives of people who live high risk lifestyles!)
Thank you for reading my rant. I just needed to get that out of my system. My apologies.
I think could be because it is not a political thing to them but they are aware of the gun debate issues. Protecting ones self and their family ,is not about politics for them. It is clear she felt the need to share information about the removal of her protection from the home.It’s weird the wife’s family cautioned not to use the story as a political narrative then proceeds to push a political narrative.
I understand your sentiment. The University Of Idaho murders got more attention because a suspect was not arrested or died at the scene or at another location as it has happened with other mass murder. Most mass murderers usually commit suicide or get killed by someone else like police (eg. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, Seung-Hui Cho, Adam Lanza, Elliot Rodger, and Salvador Ramos). Some do get arrested (eg. James Holmes, Nikolas Cruz, Ronald Gene Simmons, and Jared Loughner). I think another reason it got attention because it happened near a college campus. Anything mass killing on or near a college or school campus gets more media attention.
I get it but it was paragraphs worth.I think could be because it is not a political thing to them but they are aware of the gun debate issues. Protecting ones self and their family ,is not about politics for them. It is clear she felt the need to share information about the removal of her protection from the home.
I'm so sorry that you went through that experience. <hugs>Absolutely. As well there were small children in the home and the firearms would have needed to have been locked up and likely could not have been retrieved in time.
I went through something similar myself and I firmly believe that if a gun was available, my own - as many people urged me to have, or the perpetrator’s, both of us and possibly the children in the vicinity would have died at the perpetrator’s hand. The perpetrator even told me that…
But with the Aurora murders, did the people all know each other or were related?Double digits of people are murdered every month in the US and that's only the mass shootings. Anything less than four dead and you don't hear about it, unless the death is lurid and the deceased female. Many of them do not get solved in the same time frame as the Idaho murders. They don't get the airplay or the general public following with an insatiable appetite for news. The Idaho murders got attention because the victims were white, pretty and young. A young guy murdered four people in Aurora Co in October and was apprehended in Mexico in December. He wasn't a blip on the screen except for local news. Young guy, four people dead. Same situation, zero coverage. Oh, all the victims were Hispanic. That situation is repeated many times over.
Yes, they were family members. They were Hispanic.But with the Aurora murders, did the people all know each other or were related?
Do we know why he lost his job?Any more updates on a possible motive?
But with the Aurora murders, did the people all know each other or were related?
From what information that's in msm, it sounded like his wife was planning to leave him ?Any more updates on a possible motive?
Good question.Do we know why he lost his job?