LONG BUT NECESSARY POST
I rarely post but I’m the mother of an only daughter age 23. She’s extremely intelligent but still slightly naive in terms of the digital world and dangers associated with it. First thing I was thinking when ML’s phone was active at 2:59am but not at 3am was 1) it died. I travel for work and it never fails, my phone dies the minute I land. My daughters usually died before mine because she listens to music and watches videos. 2) She turned her phone off because it was about to die. I text my family as soon as I land but turn it off right after if my battery is about to die so I can use it for Uber/Lyft or GPS after getting my luggage. 3) There are cellphone jammers out there. They have been used by Evil people in the past. AA being “IT” could have gotten his hands on one or he knows to grab the phone quickly and turn it off. My daughter and ALL of her friends have cell phone in hand 24/7 ML had hers in her hand and this makes it easy to be snatched, HARD to defend yourself if suddenly attacked, and less aware of your surroundings. Now here’s my 2 cents for parents or young people.
My daughter was in a previous relationship with a guy she and I both met while traveling. After about 6 months of dating he became extremely possessive and down right scary with it. She broke things off and called me saying “she was scared he would track her down and kill her or someone she went on a date with” I wanted to call police but she convinced me that would make it worse. When I asked why she thinks this, she had just realized that SnapChat had a new feature that showed your location. It was automatic so you had to disable it. Now I believe it has been changed to you having to ENABLE it which is how all things should be. So he was texting her accusing her of being at a bar on a date and he knew which bar (He was in another State!) It took her a bit but she realized he had seen her SNAP of her at the bar with her best guy pal and it showed EXACT location. What many people that age do not realize is how easy it is for someone to see your EXACT location without you knowing. Find My Friends on my iPhone for instance, my DAD had text me asking what I was doing in another city... I was like ummm how do you know? But I’m shopping. He replied Find My Friends. I looked on the app and sure enough my whole family was FOLLOWING me as was a guy I was sort of seeing. OK THATS CRAZY! It brings up your exact GPS location. You have to have your location enabled on your phone. Now Find My Friends requires you to REQUEST to follow someone and that person has to approve it. Now prior to this, I had no idea enabling my location would mean some apps could automatically use that. So, I immediately thought of this feature when this happened with ML For instance, AA could be a FOLLOWER on one of the apps, watched her, saw her location then “randomly” text her to see if she was ok then say something like oh I’m right near you, how about we meet. Just a thought.
SECOND point I have is the dating apps. A co-worker of mine is 28, she and I became pretty close so she started confiding in me. She had TONS of dates. I got curious asking how the heck she met them and she said dating apps. I IMMEDIATELY freaked out like a mom would LOL. I told her of my safety concerns, and she said oh I’m careful. Well she rattled off at LEAST 5 or 6 apps she uses. I only knew of Tinder. She thinks meeting them at a park “daytime” or public eatery is safe. I told her they can grab her at her car, drug her, anything. I told her she HAS to inform someone of her location and plans prior to meeting guys, even if it’s the 3rd or 4th time because they can be calculating and planning once she lets her guard down. She agreed to let me know and stated she didn’t tell her parents because THEY WOULD WORRY or get mad... I honestly think this younger generation cannot fully understand the crazy that is out there. Maybe it’s because I’m in the medical field, read and watch tons of real life crime shows, lived in FEAR in Baton Rouge LA when Derrick Todd Lee was slaughtering girls in broad daylight (my sisters neighbor was one of them and that was near noon) Because of all of that, I still require my 23 year old daughter to enable her location for ME and family only. There have been times when she doesn’t respond and I quickly look to see that she’s home so probably hopefully napping. The pitfall with the GPS is that if you are in a bad cell service area, no WiFi, or phone is off, your location will not show. The 12-25 year old age group has become very tech savvy when it comes to hiding their digital footprint from parents and close friends, but they do not take those same measures in hiding it from potential psychos. I preach all the time that “knowing” someone a week or 2 doesn’t mean they don’t have a dark side, Also them LOOKING normal does not mean squat. The normal quiet ones many times are the NOT NORMAL ones. Anyway to all parents and younger folks, look into the location features on your phone. Check ALL APP settings for hidden things like auto sharing your location. Please PLEASE let someone know if going to meet someone from a dating app even if it’s your TENTH meeting. LASTLY, my cousin was raped by a (popular ride share) driver last year. They have since upped their security/background check. Since that happened I also inform someone when getting in a ride share car or cab and send a screenshot of the driver info on the app. People hide their dark side until you trust them. Even if you let a co-worker know, or a friend in a different circle. SOMEONE needs to be able to tell your location and who you were meeting. I make my friend give me location, plan itinerary, first and last of guy and his verified phone number. Okay that’s my lecture for this year So sorry to all of the friends and family of ML. I absolutely do not judge her or anything she did. We should ALL be able to do anything we want without having to worry about being the victim of a crime, but there are too many sickos out there and the younger generation tends to be too trusting (which is a good quality but not a safe one sadly)