Here are some replies upthread, to the hypothetical of two college students having consensual foreplay, leading up to consensual sex, and then the female passes out. I said it should not be considered rape if the male kept going.
My hypothetical:
Of course NO means NO. But it is very unfair and even mean behavior on the girls part to get into bed, drunk, with a drunk teen boy, mess around sexually, get things going, then go to sleep. It is not that simple for a drunk teen boy to follow those rules. I am not saying he shouldn't, just saying it is unfair for girls to set up that type of situation.
If you go to a boys room and get drunk with him and climb into his bed and begin doing sexual acts, [ before falling asleep]then I cannot call it rape. You are giving him a total green light. It is hard for me to call him a rapist in that situation. JMO
post#69
Here were some of the replies:
Post # 78
Donjeta
If someone is asleep, it's cut and dry to me. You just don't have sex with someone who is sleeping. Sleeping is not a mixed signal, it's a NO. JMO.
#97
flourish
Wow, did you never make out without having sex? It's fun, and reasonable to expect in a relationship, even if you have been married for years. Is there some epidemic of drunk girls crawling into bed with a drunk guy then leaving him with blue ba!!$? And if so, even if it's a premeditated, purely on purpose "teasing," even if the girls had a freaking online group whose sole purpose was "tease and pass out," (NOT REAl, just making a point), IT IS NOT OKAY TO HAVE SEX WITH AN UNCONSCIOUS PERSON. No matter how horny you may be!!!
post#152
sorrel skye
Regardless of the location, it is more than "technically" rape. It is definitively rape if one partner says "no" or is incapable of affirming consent due to intoxication - even if heavy petting occurs prior to saying "no".
Even if one or both partners are naked or semi-clothed, if one partner says "no" or is incapable of affirming consent due to incapacitation from alcohol or drug ingestion, it is still definitively rape.
This is what we need to teach our young people - women and men alike.
post #153
Why would a guy believe he has the go-ahead for sex with an unconscious girl, unless he's a sexual predator?
An unconscious person cannot give consent. This scenario is classified as sexual assault, regardless of whether or not prior heavy petting occurred and regardless of whether or not the victim willingly got into his bed before passing out or going to sleep.
Post # 166
bluesneakers
How can you give consent when you're asleep?
Post #207
LinasK
Granted some women place themselves in unwise situations. Nonetheless, men, although mammals are not actually physically wolves. They are able to control themselves physically if they choose to. They need to learn that if a girl falls asleep- in their bed or anyplace- consent is automatically withdrawn. Yeah, they're disappointed, but so what? Go take care of it yourself.
Post #322
LinasK
Without being literal, yes it does. It has to be consensual or it is a sexual attack. The minute one person starts to feel uncomfortable at any point, or loses consciousness, or is unaware what is going to happen, is the minute where if the other person continues it becomes an attack/rape. If a person changes their mind or falls asleep is the point where you stop. If you are disappointed, too bad!
Post # 364
Gitana1
Let me be clear:
Yes, it is rape if it involves sexual penetration/sodomy of a person who cannot consent due to being a minor, or passed out or otherwise too incapacitated by drugs or alcohol to know what they're doing.