VA - Scott Fricker, 48, & Buckley Kuhn-Fricker, 43, slain, Reston, 22 Dec 2017 *daughter’s bf charged*

[thepinkdragon]

My opinion is not going to be a popular one. Did her parents know about the swastika in the grass? If they did, well from the article posted..it sounds like his parents weren’t taking it all that seriously. I think sending an email to the school and being confrontational to the kid’s parents was not the best way to approach the situation. If they were concerned about their daughter’s safety, I just don’t understand why they took this approach. IMO those actions, combined with forbidding her to see or talk to him set off his violent reaction. While I’m sure they never believed he would go to such extremes, I think they didn’t stop to think of any potential consequences their approach might have. MOO


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[Inthedetails]

My opinion is not going to be a popular one. Did her parents know about the swastika in the grass? I think sending an email to the school and being confrontational to the kids parents was not the best way to approach the situation. If they were concerned about their daughter’s safety, I just don’t understand why they took this approach. IMO those actions, combined with forbidding her to see or talk to him set off his violent reaction. While I’m sure they never believed he would go to such extremes, I think they didn’t stop to think of any potential consequences their approach might have. MOO


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I don't know, of course, but my guess is that they were interested in helping him rather than just keeping their own daughter away from him. They were looking out for more than their family, but for him and for the community as well. The mowing incident was a public thing that affected the community. I'm guessing her parents were concerned the boy would escalate his activities and they felt an obligation to be outspoken to bring attention to the problem and to solve it - not just protect their own family.

They were in an almost impossible situation. If he did something violent at school or elsewhere instead of against the parents, they would be blamed for not being more active in their concern.

jmo

 

[Deleted member 158085]

My opinion is not going to be a popular one. Did her parents know about the swastika in the grass? If they did, well from the article posted..it sounds like his parents weren’t taking it all that seriously. I think sending an email to the school and being confrontational to the kid’s parents was not the best way to approach the situation. If they were concerned about their daughter’s safety, I just don’t understand why they took this approach. IMO those actions, combined with forbidding her to see or talk to him set off his violent reaction. While I’m sure they never believed he would go to such extremes, I think they didn’t stop to think of any potential consequences their approach might have. MOO


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So you believe it was wrong to let the school and his parents know that she was no longer allowed to be around him? It seems like common sense to me to notify the other parents and the school not only that they wanted him to stay away (and to tell them he had been sneaking in their house at night), but why it had come to this.

It's not clear to me if they knew about the swastika or not, because we have no idea if they lived in the same neighborhood. It sounds to me like his neighbors discussed it but that it wasn't widely known outside of the neighborhood.

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[thepinkdragon]

I don't know, of course, but my guess is that they were interested in helping him rather than just keeping their own daughter away from him. They were looking out for more than their family, but for him and for the community as well. The mowing incident was a public thing that affected the community. I'm guessing her parents were concerned the boy would escalate his activities and they felt an obligation to be outspoken to bring attention to the problem and to solve it - not just protect their own family.

They were in an almost impossible situation. If he did something violent at school or elsewhere instead of against the parents, they would be blamed for not being more active in their concern.

jmo

I edited to add that it appeared to me that when the mowing incident was reported to his parents that I didn’t feel they took it very seriously. I think you are right, however, this kid was a loose cannon and I don’t think anyone realized how violent he could become.

There is a heavy population of Neo-Nazis in Florida. Many are violent. My experience with kids like him makes me think that her mothers approach is what set him off. She couldn’t have known he would snap. I’m just sad that something wasn’t done before it escalated to this point. MOO


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[Inthedetails]

I edited to add that it appeared to me that when the mowing incident was reported to his parents that I didn’t feel they took it very seriously. I think you are right, however, this kid was a loose cannon and I don’t think anyone realized how violent he could become.

There is a heavy population of Neo-Nazis in Florida. Many are violent. My experience with kids like him makes me think that her mothers approach is what set him off. She couldn’t have known he would snap. I’m just sad that something wasn’t done before it escalated to this point. MOO


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I agree with you that the mom's actions triggered him - she couldn't have known to the degree he would retaliate.

But that's not a reason to be silent about a neo-nazi. We can't cower because some teen is unhinged. He needed to be stopped....and, unfortunately, he wasn't.

jmo

 

[Jennifer17]

I edited to add that it appeared to me that when the mowing incident was reported to his parents that I didn’t feel they took it very seriously. I think you are right, however, this kid was a loose cannon and I don’t think anyone realized how violent he could become.

There is a heavy population of Neo-Nazis in Florida. Many are violent. My experience with kids like him makes me think that her mothers approach is what set him off. She couldn’t have known he would snap. I’m just sad that something wasn’t done before it escalated to this point. MOO


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But what could have been done? You are allowed to have Nazi views.

 

[thepinkdragon]

So you believe it was wrong to let the school and his parents know that she was no longer allowed to be around him? It seems like common sense to me to notify the other parents and the school not only that they wanted him to stay away (and to tell them he had been sneaking in their house at night), but why it had come to this.

It's not clear to me if they knew about the swastika or not, because we have no idea if they lived in the same neighborhood. It sounds to me like his neighbors discussed it but that it wasn't widely known outside of the neighborhood.

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According to the article, the mowing incident happened in October and his parents were made aware and they claimed he was getting help. As far as sending an email to his school, what did she think that would accomplish? They aren’t babysitters or psychologists. Unless he was conducting racist behavior at school there wasn’t anything they could have done. Instead it comes across as shaming. I don’t think either set of parents knew what they were dealing with. MOO


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[thepinkdragon]

But what could have been done? You are allowed to have Nazi views.

That is my point. I don’t know what she hoped to accomplish by calling him out to the school. Like I said, I know my opinion isn’t going to be a popular one.. but I think she should have kept the issue between the parents. MOO


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[Lilibet]

I edited to add that it appeared to me that when the mowing incident was reported to his parents that I didn’t feel they took it very seriously. I think you are right, however, this kid was a loose cannon and I don’t think anyone realized how violent he could become.

There is a heavy population of Neo-Nazis in Florida. Many are violent. My experience with kids like him makes me think that her mothers approach is what set him off. She couldn’t have known he would snap. I’m just sad that something wasn’t done before it escalated to this point. MOO


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Her parents don’t even live in the same town, and so may not have known about the mowing incident. I also think that his actions were cumulative and culminated in the texts that finally caused Buckley to act...as in “enough is enough.” I think it’s quite possible that he could have become violent even earlier if pushed about the lawn incident, for example. We just don’t know and I don’t think mom or anyone had a clue he could do something like this.

This is really a dilemma for those of us who are the proactive “see something, say something” types. I would have gone straight to LE about swastika mowing if I’d been his neighbor, and could have gotten killed. Or else, as one neighbor said, it might have prevented the later shootings. Rock meet hard place.

 

[Inthedetails]

According to the article, the mowing incident happened in October and his parents were made aware and they claimed he was getting help. As far as sending an email to his school, what did she think that would accomplish? They aren’t babysitters or psychologists. Unless he was conducting racist behavior at school there wasn’t anything they could have done. Instead it comes across as shaming. I don’t think either set of parents knew what they were dealing with. MOO


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We hear about school shootings all the time. What i he did something like shoot at school or do something less violent like posting a Nazi flag in his locker and waving it Jewish students - perhaps inciting hostilities among the students....and then people find out that the girlfriend's parents knew about him but didn't do anything? It's a hypothetical situation, but not an unreasonable one and likely something the parents considered.

I really think they felt a moral obligation to react and to react strongly.

What else should they have done, I wonder?

jmopinion

 

[Inthedetails]

Just have to pause for a moment to say how heavy-hearted I am that a teenager in our times would be a neo-nazi.

jmopinion

 

[thepinkdragon]

Also she didn’t have proof the boy was the one who tweeted the messages she attached and sent to the principal. So again all she did was attempt to call him out, without solid proof. I think she should have been more cautious. Again MOO

“Twitter messages she believed were connected to her 16-year-old daughter’s boyfriend after looking at the girl’s phone. She believed the messages were posted under an assumed name.

On Sunday night, Kuhn-Fricker alerted the principal of the Fairfax County private school that her daughter and the boyfriend attend, attaching numerous images of the account that had retweeted missives praising Hitler, supporting Nazi book burnings, calling for “white revolution,” making derogatory comments about Jews and featuring an illustration of a man hanging from a noose beneath a slur for gay people.

In private Twitter messages, the account Kuhn-Fricker attributed to the boyfriend responded to a photo of a candy shop that featured a display of a dreidel by writing, “ima run in there with my swastika armband right now.”” https://www.washingtonpost.com/loca...55031558ff4_story.html?utm_term=.c222857b39d7


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[Jennifer17]

Also she didn’t have proof the boy was the one who tweeted the messages she attached and sent to the principal. So again all she did was attempt to call him out, without solid proof. I think she should have been more cautious. Again MOO

“Twitter messages she believed were connected to her 16-year-old daughter’s boyfriend after looking at the girl’s phone. She believed the messages were posted under an assumed name.

On Sunday night, Kuhn-Fricker alerted the principal of the Fairfax County private school that her daughter and the boyfriend attend, attaching numerous images of the account that had retweeted missives praising Hitler, supporting Nazi book burnings, calling for “white revolution,” making derogatory comments about Jews and featuring an illustration of a man hanging from a noose beneath a slur for gay people.

In private Twitter messages, the account Kuhn-Fricker attributed to the boyfriend responded to a photo of a candy shop that featured a display of a dreidel by writing, “ima run in there with my swastika armband right now.”” https://www.washingtonpost.com/loca...55031558ff4_story.html?utm_term=.c222857b39d7


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I think that she probably had very good reason to accuse him of being the identity.

 

[Inthedetails]

I think that she probably had very good reason to accuse him of being the identity.

And whether the mom was right or wrong in being vocale in her concerns about him, there is no excuse for him to kill her! I don't even understand this conversation.

 

[thepinkdragon]

I think that she probably had very good reason to accuse him of being the identity.

It doesn’t matter. All she did by sending that to the principal was cause more trouble. There wasn’t anything the school could do without proof and even then I’m not sure they could have done anything. MOO


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[thepinkdragon]

And whether the mom was right or wrong in being vocale in her concerns about him, there is no excuse for him to kill her! I don't even understand this conversation.

You’re right. There was no reason nor excuse for him to kill her. My whole point was they had no idea what they were dealing with and I think people need to think before they react.


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[animlzrule]

We hear about school shootings all the time. What i he did something like shoot at school or do something less violent like posting a Nazi flag in his locker and waving it Jewish students - perhaps inciting hostilities among the students....and then people find out that the girlfriend's parents knew about him but didn't do anything? It's a hypothetical situation, but not an unreasonable one and likely something the parents considered.

I really think they felt a moral obligation to react and to react strongly.

What else should they have done, I wonder?

jmopinion

I had a situation this year with my son and some classmates. I became aware of a disturbing incident and the first thing I did was contact the school and the parents of the classmates involved as a group via email. I felt the situation was serious enough that it warranted the attention and scrutiny of the school as well as the parents. It was important to me that we were all on the same page as far as the available information and my expectations. I feel that schools/faculty absolutely have the right and obligation to know when there is activity going on that falls beyond the societal norms, as they spend so much time with our children and have such influence. I'm doubtful that a kid who would do something as aberrant as mowing a swastika in public view did not have a reputation at school for disruptive behavior at the least. The mother's reaction is completely logical to me. Get all eyes on this monster and increase scrutiny, in hopes that public pressure, be it from school or other parents, may spark more aggressive efforts to squash his dangerous ideology and insidious dissemination of propaganda. I think she did everything she could to try to protect her daughter and others.

 

[animlzrule]

It doesn’t matter. All she did by sending that to the principal was cause more trouble. There wasn’t anything the school could do without proof and even then I’m not sure they could have done anything. MOO


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Well, I know that in my own experience, this wasn't true at all. The school was an integral part of the solution to our experience.

 

[thepinkdragon]

Well, I know that in my own experience, this wasn't true at all. The school was an integral part of the solution to our experience.

The problem I had with it is she sent screenshots of a private twitter account that she could not prove was him. She could have addressed her concern in a different manner to the school. Again this is just my opinion. No one has to agree.


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[Inthedetails]

The problem I had with it is she sent screenshots of a private twitter account that she could not prove was him. She could have addressed her concern in a different manner to the school. Again this is just my opinion. No one has to agree.


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She wasn't in a court of law that required an investigation to show proof. She was a concerned mother and community member who brought her concerns to school authorities.