Viable suspect: Terry Hobbs #1

DNA Solves
DNA Solves
DNA Solves
Status
Not open for further replies.
One thing that the quoted poster didn't mention was the effect of poverty on this situation and many like it all over the world. Although TH, TM and JMB didn't live in as abject poverty as the three falsely-convicted men, their standard of living was most likely in the lower middle class range. Again, socioeconomic status can explain (although not excuse) some of the actions of the adult males in this tragic situation, but poverty is not the only factor, just one of many. Childhood abuse (which, according to JMB's book, Untying the Knot, was not in his background, except for an occasional "whipping") and extreme fundamentalist religious beliefs, IMO, played a large role in this crime, too. Another example of extreme fundamentalist religious beliefs causing tragedy is the case of Andrea Yates. (There, too, it wasn't a simple situation. The religious beliefs were fueled by an abusive husband and postpartum depression, IMO.) There's simply not one sole reason for this tragedy, but poverty is one reason that the three innocent men were convicted - and one reason that they were suspected. To a lesser degree, poverty is one of the reasons IMO that the killer killed, but only one reason of many including jealousy, extreme religious fundamentalism, uncontrollable anger, ego and (possibly) meth.
 
CR, very much agreed. My main intention was to point out that we have stereotypes, but the degree of violence carried out by some individuals, can not always be explained away by superficial classification. Of course there is more abuse of children in the lower social classes, due to the stress of everyday life of the parents. The main factors being, that's the way they were brought up, they were not educated otherwise, and the fact that the majority of people in this world are poor.

DE described the convicted as "White trash". Somehow, the way this case has panned out, I have the feeling that JMB and PH could also feel like this. I read somewhere, that if these murders had taken place in New York, there would have been a complete different outcome, I think you Americans can judge this statement better than I can.
 
I've often heard people in the falsely convicted's position referred to as "poor white trash" or even "trailer trash" from time to time. The point is that people of the lower socioeconomic strata are more likely to be accused of crimes than those in higher economic classes. Sad, but true.

I'm not sure about the whole "New York" thing. IMO, that's just another backhanded slap at the South - implying that the basic injustice done to the three falsely convicted men was more a result of "Southern justice" than anything else - and y'all know how that grinds my grits! I don't buy that at all! I'm pretty sure that Damien, Jason and Jessie would be more likely to be considered suspects in New York than someone of a higher social strata. The only difference would be that Damien's "weirdness" wouldn't be so much of a factor. New York is full of weirdos!
 
The police don't always tell the public if they are a suspect, officially. I think it is crazy to worry about someone being discussed online as a good suspect, especially when their own actions make them one! I think it is far more important to find out the truth about what happened to those boys. I don't care who did it, those boys deserve justice.
 
The police don't always tell the public if they are a suspect, officially. I think it is crazy to worry about someone being discussed online as a good suspect, especially when their own actions make them one! I think it is far more important to find out the truth about what happened to those boys. I don't care who did it, those boys deserve justice.

Yes, they do! That's why I'm still obsessed with this case!
 
Welcome aboard jforjustice, may I say that "j" for justice should have been a "BIG" J, 'cause we need some "BIG" justice around here.:gaah:
 
I've hesitated a while about putting this post out, because it's based mainly on speculation and intuition. A few days ago, I found something that made me decide to do it, and because I've learned a bit of the art of cultured discussion from CR and a few other posters (boy CR is really good at it, stays reserved where I would be shooting pumpkins like JMB), I think I will be able to cope with the backlash.

Right, I'm gonna stick my neck out and try to raise a bit of dust again. Remember, this is all my opinion.

My theory still remains that the boys were slain at S. Mcauley 1601. I've revealed bits here and there, and have noticed that a few pieces are starting to circulate. I am probably not the first person who came up with these things, and I won't be the last, but I will mention them again anyway.

I have pointed this out in previous posts, and have also pointed out what I believed was his motive.

Looking at this crime, and after a psychological assessment of his character , I think TH would only have committed this crime in surroundings where he felt comfortable. All his violent outbreaks took place in and around his home, and were all of a personal nature.

This is the main reason why the manhole theory will not stick with me, and although I think the theory is good and well worked out, it appears too extravagant for TH. Don't get me wrong, I don't dismiss the manhole theory completely, it's quite possible the manholes were used to conceal the bodies at a later stage, but I do not feel comfortable with it from a psychological point of view. I just have the feeling that something like the following would fit better.

I 've been reading Law & disorder by John Douglas, and as a follow up, I took a look at his statements at callahans. I would like to quote a couple of things I found:

Taken from pasdar exhibit 36-6

http://callahan.8k.com/hobbs_pasdar/hp_38/hp_38_6.pdf

Question: In your investigation, have you found a motive for why Terry Hobbs might have committed the crime? (???)

John Douglas: We have specific details, yes, but (screeching microphones) . . . We did find specific details - I don't know if this is the forum that we should be presenting some of the . . . What I look for in a case is precipitating factors and events leading up to the crime. The person responsible for the crime on May 5th, 1993 just didn't wake up one morning and decide today I'm going to go out and kill. So what you do is you look at suspects, and if you do background checks on any people you look for a series of events leading up -precipitating factors, interpersonal relationships, failings in a marriage, financial problems. You 'll see this with a lot of different types of violent offenders. And you look at that. So without being specific here, I did see these factors very obvious to me. From the first interview that I did, because I didn't have the background information, I was pretty much blindsided, I should have had more information going in, but I just didn't have the opportunity. But five days later when it came up to all this other information. Had the poiice back in 1993 -had they done a background check it would have come to me or one of my colleagues and say ok what do you think of this guy? I would say put him on the front burner - put him on the front burner.
Let's see if he has the motive. Let's see if he has the means and the opportunity. The opportunity is critical in a case like this cause what you need to have for this - you don't need a lot of time, but is there a window of opportunity - about an hour, an hour and a half which we saw with him - he has an hour or an hour and a half window of opportunity. That's plenty of time to perpetrate a crime. Then we saw other statements, conflicts in statements that he gave to the police over the years and to us. So you put him on the front burner; now it's up to the police or whomever to come up with evidence to link him to the crime. I'm just really directing them to a suspect, and he looked good.

snipped<
And then the way, as I stated earlier, the way they were hidden, the way the clothing was hidden, the bicycles thrown into the bayou. I believe the subject came from that particular neighborhood and that's where if this was back in 1993 I'd be steering them in that direction. And of course parents are always considered suspects - first suspects you look at in cases like these.
>snipped

One of the things he said here that was important for me:

What I look for in a case is precipitating factors and events leading up to the crime. The person responsible for the crime on May 5th, 1993 just didn't wake up one morning and decide today I'm going to go out and kill.

If these killings arose out of an everyday situation, how would an everyday situation look in the Hobbs family for instance. After studying things for some time , I became more and more convinced that the whole thing took place in and around the swimming pool. The main question was would the Hobbs pool have water in it at this time of year. I found a post from PH, where she was directly asked about the pool, her answer could be laid out as yes or no really.

http://thewm3.yuku.com/topic/268/The-Hobbs-Swimming-Pool

If it was an everyday situation, the weapon used in the commission of the crime would be something that was also an everyday object. Looking through some photos from the Hobbs's, I was on the look out for something that could have been used. On one photo I found some weights (I know them as dumb-bells) laid next to the couch. I thought this could be the sort of blunt heavy object that would cause the skull fractures.

Dumb_bells.jpg


Nestled in this Pasdar exhibit 36-6, I found something very interesting that fueled my theory. It was a TH statement that I had not read up to now. I have snipped the part out that I am referring to.

http://callahan.8k.com/hobbs_pasdar/hp_38/hp_38_6.pdf

Without waiving his objection, Hobbs states the following:

As I sit here trying to remember the day of May the 4th 1993. For us it was a normal day, living in Wst Mphs, Ar. Working in Mphs, 1N. Just across the Mississippi River, I
would arise early a.m. head to work, work as an ice cream salesman, until I finished my work, head home after work. As warm as it was it is possible we would get in the pool. We did have a 33 thousand gallon in ground pool with a diving board and a big spiral slide, and yes we lived in it. Pam would be cooking supper for everyone, we would eat and sometimes we, myself & the kids would take Pam to work, at the time she worked in Wst. Mphs, AR.

Ifwe did not pick Pam up at work, we would have been at the house watching TV and or playing with the kids or both or even working out with weighs, which me and Stevie like to do, or even playing guitars which I like to do, at the end of the day after Pam would come in from work providing she had worked on May the 4th 1993, we would all go to bed get up the next day . and do it all over again, except May the 5th starts out like everyday get up early a.m. head to work, work until I am finished, head back home where Pam is once again cooking supper for everyone except today Stevie is not there when I get home from work, as I ask Pam, where is Stevie? She says he is riding his new bike he just got. He is riding his new bike with Michael Moore his running buddy they were to ride to Moore's home. She tells me He is to be home at 4:30p.m


My theory is based on the fact that I think the boys were swimming at the Hobbs house. This would hold up with some of the facts and rumours that exist. I think the boys would have undressed themselves (possibly in SB's room) to go swimming, CB removing his medical bracelet, SB removing his ninja watch, not needing to remove his friendship bracelet, sticking their socks in their shoes. SB in his swimming trunks, which he had available, whereas MM and CB left their underpants on, which I have often seen boys do when spontaneously swimming.

Afterwards, the socks were removed from the shoes as the shoelaces were being taken out. One shoe with a sock in it was missing (maybe the pet dog dragged it somewhere else, dogs often do this) and was later found, and then disposed of in a hurry at the discovery site. This would explain the foreign shoelace. The underpants of MM, CB were not placed at the ditch because they could possibly be connected with the swimming pool (chlor, or similar things). The large amount of blood would be highly diluted in the swimming pool (33,000 gallons of water), this would in no way be visible the next day.

And those “weighs”, they could have been in the vicinity of the pool. And honestly, if you heard the noise of three or four youngsters playing in a swimming pool over a period of time, there is lots of screaming and shouting, would any similar noise be noticeable for an unsuspecting neighbour ?

Although I am relying on a statement from TH (is that possible ?), it could have still taken place in a similar manner, even if the pool was only partly filled with rainwater, for instance.

BTW, I am totally convinced that the hogties served the purpose of dissociation on the part of TH. Once he came back down from his fit of hate/anger, he had the task of getting rid of the bodies. Making the naked bodies look like something familiar, (slaughtered animals) would certainly have made it easier for him to handle.
 
Cher,

When did the swimming begin? If it were before PH went to work, she would have known the boys were there. If it were afterward, wouldn't AH have remembered the boys swimming in the pool? Not meaning to totally discount your ideas, but I'm just unsure of a timeline that would answer. One possibility might be that TH returned from DJ's to find them there, but AH was with him at that time, too, and, even if she were not, wouldn't he be afraid of the commotion being heard? As to familiarity, I believe it possible that TH built the "clubhouse" often discussed and was much more familiar with those woods than he has admitted.
 
I've hesitated a while about putting this post out, because it's based mainly on speculation and intuition. A few days ago, I found something that made me decide to do it, and because I've learned a bit of the art of cultured discussion from CR and a few other posters (boy CR is really good at it, stays reserved where I would be shooting pumpkins like JMB), I think I will be able to cope with the backlash.

Right, I'm gonna stick my neck out and try to raise a bit of dust again. Remember, this is all my opinion.

My theory still remains that the boys were slain at S. Mcauley 1601. I've revealed bits here and there, and have noticed that a few pieces are starting to circulate. I am probably not the first person who came up with these things, and I won't be the last, but I will mention them again anyway.

I have pointed this out in previous posts, and have also pointed out what I believed was his motive.

Looking at this crime, and after a psychological assessment of his character , I think TH would only have committed this crime in surroundings where he felt comfortable. All his violent outbreaks took place in and around his home, and were all of a personal nature.

This is the main reason why the manhole theory will not stick with me, and although I think the theory is good and well worked out, it appears too extravagant for TH. Don't get me wrong, I don't dismiss the manhole theory completely, it's quite possible the manholes were used to conceal the bodies at a later stage, but I do not feel comfortable with it from a psychological point of view. I just have the feeling that something like the following would fit better.

I 've been reading Law & disorder by John Douglas, and as a follow up, I took a look at his statements at callahans. I would like to quote a couple of things I found:

Taken from pasdar exhibit 36-6

http://callahan.8k.com/hobbs_pasdar/hp_38/hp_38_6.pdf



One of the things he said here that was important for me:

What I look for in a case is precipitating factors and events leading up to the crime. The person responsible for the crime on May 5th, 1993 just didn't wake up one morning and decide today I'm going to go out and kill.

If these killings arose out of an everyday situation, how would an everyday situation look in the Hobbs family for instance. After studying things for some time , I became more and more convinced that the whole thing took place in and around the swimming pool. The main question was would the Hobbs pool have water in it at this time of year. I found a post from PH, where she was directly asked about the pool, her answer could be laid out as yes or no really.

http://thewm3.yuku.com/topic/268/The-Hobbs-Swimming-Pool

If it was an everyday situation, the weapon used in the commission of the crime would be something that was also an everyday object. Looking through some photos from the Hobbs's, I was on the look out for something that could have been used. On one photo I found some weights (I know them as dumb-bells) laid next to the couch. I thought this could be the sort of blunt heavy object that would cause the skull fractures.

Dumb_bells.jpg


Nestled in this Pasdar exhibit 36-6, I found something very interesting that fueled my theory. It was a TH statement that I had not read up to now. I have snipped the part out that I am referring to.

http://callahan.8k.com/hobbs_pasdar/hp_38/hp_38_6.pdf




My theory is based on the fact that I think the boys were swimming at the Hobbs house. This would hold up with some of the facts and rumours that exist. I think the boys would have undressed themselves (possibly in SB's room) to go swimming, CB removing his medical bracelet, SB removing his ninja watch, not needing to remove his friendship bracelet, sticking their socks in their shoes. SB in his swimming trunks, which he had available, whereas MM and CB left their underpants on, which I have often seen boys do when spontaneously swimming.

Afterwards, the socks were removed from the shoes as the shoelaces were being taken out. One shoe with a sock in it was missing (maybe the pet dog dragged it somewhere else, dogs often do this) and was later found, and then disposed of in a hurry at the discovery site. This would explain the foreign shoelace. The underpants of MM, CB were not placed at the ditch because they could possibly be connected with the swimming pool (chlor, or similar things). The large amount of blood would be highly diluted in the swimming pool (33,000 gallons of water), this would in no way be visible the next day.

And those &#8220;weighs&#8221;, they could have been in the vicinity of the pool. And honestly, if you heard the noise of three or four youngsters playing in a swimming pool over a period of time, there is lots of screaming and shouting, would any similar noise be noticeable for an unsuspecting neighbour ?

Although I am relying on a statement from TH (is that possible ?), it could have still taken place in a similar manner, even if the pool was only partly filled with rainwater, for instance.

BTW, I am totally convinced that the hogties served the purpose of dissociation on the part of TH. Once he came back down from his fit of hate/anger, he had the task of getting rid of the bodies. Making the naked bodies look like something familiar, (slaughtered animals) would certainly have made it easier for him to handle.

I realize we don't normally agree on much here -- and I am one of those people who don't buy TH's guilt, in that I don't believe in the bite mark/WMPD coverup -- but I actually do like your theory. I've always thought the boys could have gone swimming somewhere (why their clothes weren't bloody). I guess, as far as the socks would go, I don't think that each boy would put his socks in his shoes; one boy would just leave his out, near his shoes; maybe one stuck one in and one half-out (boys, being in a hurry to swim), etc. I think they were most likely disposed after the bodies, at first being missed in haste.

Another thing I would add is that, I don't know if all the boys would be attacked by TH at the same time, in the same place -- but TH would have the advantage of separating the boys. He could have called SB in separately, perhaps. Could have locked the other 2 in a room, while one attack was going on, etc.

Haven't really been compelled to post on this particular site for a while until I saw this, for what it's worth. I wouldn't necessarily buy it hook-line-and-sinker since, obviously, i"m not 100% convinced of TH's involvement, but for a theory it isn't bad.
 
Well done, CL! It's refreshing to see someone actually stick their neck out and dare to post a theory!

Do you have any theories as to WHY this happened? According to the MHT, IIRC, it was discipline gone wrong. Do you subscribe to a similar scenario?
 
Zen, nice to see your name again.

Userid, I know your stance towards TH, and the whole case , and it's very decent of you to comment in this way. Thank you.


CR, I would place this between 18:15 and 19:15, I hope AH was not present, if she was, she was probably locked up somewhere, or it would have been so traumatic, that this would probably fall into the general amnesia of her childhood which she describes in her journal.

As to TH being familiar to other locations, yes and no. It's far to complex to explain in a short form, and I think you deserve a good explanation, I will come back to this question later. A lot of the things concerning TH are very analytical, I will have to go into depth using the things we know about him to feed off.

The same goes for Grazniks question about the motive. I have a very complex analysis of how things could have came about, it must be revised and brought into a coherent form, otherwise it will just make no sense. It's all very time consuming, if you're interested just keep tuned into this thread and I will be putting the pieces together. Again discipline gone wrong would fall short as a description. Discipline has something to do with anger, anger as a switch maybe, but the result shows signs of a much deeper form of hate, a degree of hate that takes a lot longer to manifest itself. All JMO of course.
 
Cher,

I will certainly stay tuned! I'm not as close-minded as some believe, and I am open to any reasoned explanation of this crime. As to AH being locked up during the attack, that is certainly in realm of possibility. However, had that occurred, I would have thought that she would have told her mother that night, before the amnesia set in, but I anxiously await your reasoned response!
 
I will stay tuned as well, and look forward to your next post and seeing how you develop this theory!

What do you make of the sightings of the boys close to RHH as well as DM's sighting of the boys going north on north 14th street?
 
Cher,

I will certainly stay tuned! I'm not as close-minded as some believe, and I am open to any reasoned explanation of this crime. As to AH being locked up during the attack, that is certainly in realm of possibility. However, had that occurred, I would have thought that she would have told her mother that night, before the amnesia set in, but I anxiously await your reasoned response!

CR, I know you have been accused of close-mindedness on another board, I in no way share this opinion, and it is not a sin to have a theory and take a stance to protect it. I keep my eye on the other board, and sometimes give my 2 cents worth, at the moment it is much too graphical for me. I can only underline being open to any reasonable explanation.

Well CR, here is a simplified answer to your question concerning TH's familiarity with the woods/clubhouse.

If you count the 9 - 11 hours of Pasdar videos, there is more material on TH than any other person in this case. There are many distinct patterns in his character/personality which lead in certain directions. Of course this does not automatically make him the main suspect. It could be argued that if we had more detailed information on other suspects, it would be possible to distinguish psychological patterns / tendencies / reasons / motives for them too. I will go into this in another post. I've stuck my neck out on a possible theory as to how the crime could have happened, so I think I should explain, why TH ?

I've set out a list of things I should refer to, because each subject is complex, and intertwines with other subjects, and it's very easy to get lost in it all.

1. Why I believe this is a "battered child" crime. Why I believe this crime was perpetrated by one of the parents. Why I don't think it was a stranger.

2. Who else could have done it, out of all possible suspects, why TH ?

3. Did it take place in the woods, were the bodies "dumped" in the woods, or was it "staged"?

4.The motive.

As I have stated before, the most obvious thing, is that the allegations and criminal records of TH's violence / abuse /sexual abuse, targets solely family / relatives / neighbours. Not only are the targets of a personal nature, but also the locations:

Angela H. - Home
Bryan H. - Home
Mildred F. - Next door neighbour
PH - Home
AH - Home
SB - Home
Jessie the Mexican - Home
Jackie H. Jnr. - In front of home

The situations with Mildred F, and Jackie H. Jnr, show that TH is a very dangerous person, I will address these separately and in detail.

This shows a distinctive law of conduct that TH appears to follow. He defines his territory / Patch, where he allows himself to move / act as he wants. This is the common behaviour of a male who indulges in domestic violence.

In contrast, in situations outside of this territory, he becomes very angry, but restrains himself to verbal attacks, and does not use physical violence.

One situation with John Douglas: From Law & disorder page 274

snipped<
Terry agreed to my request to meet with him again, this time in a suite at the Memphis Holiday Inn where I was staying. And this time I was armed with information relative to the real Terry Hobbs. I was forthright and told him I felt better prepared this time. I noticed that Terry was carrying an unopened can of soda. I suggested he sit down, but he preferred to stand. I have seen this before when I’ve interviewed inmates in penitentiaries. Standing can be a technique for asserting a dominant position over the other person. “You had me good, Terry,” I began. “When I talked to you the other day, I really didn’t know your background. But since then, I’ve had a chance to do some investigation, and find you were really ********ting me. A lot of the things you told me just aren’t true. You’re a good liar, Terry, but not that good.” He didn’t react, except to grasp the soda can a little tighter. “You have a violent history,” I continued. He looked at me as if I were just mentioning an incidental detail, like the color of his hair. I employed a technique I’ve often used in the past. I call it, “This Is Your Life,” taking him through key events I had learned about. “You minimized it before, but I know your father beat the hell out of you, and you beat the hell out of Stevie.” I had learned that he used to whip Stevie viciously with a belt, making him hold his hands up in the air away from his body. Others in the family had described the welts these punishments left. “You’ve been manipulative, lying. . . .” Everything I mentioned led to a “big deal” shrug or a “So what?”
>snipped

snipped<
He didn’t flinch when I brought up the accusations that he had molested his daughter, Amanda. Normally, when you confront a man with a serious or outrageous charge that isn’t true, he’ll go ballistic. Terry didn’t admit the charges, but he didn’t bother denying them. The only thing I noted was that he was holding the can increasingly rigidly, as if it might be used as a weapon. He kept pacing
>snipped

snipped<
After a little while, he declared, I’ve had enough of this ****, and walked out, still carrying the unopened soda can. He had not sat down the entire time.
>snipped

The second situation at a concert, from PH's Interview:

http://callahan.8k.com/pdf/pam_hobbs_interview.pdf

snipped<
I was able to go see John Walsh too, and I got up and talked to John Walsh and I was telling him you know other people help me searched for my family and stuff like that and I told him I want you to know that you’re are an inspiration to victims such as I, for what you’ve done on America Most Wanted and 1 said that you know my case was on America Most Wanted and 1 said ten years later I still with the pill and live with retrials and thangs like that. Well, when I go and say every' thang I said to John Walsh told me he said you a lady with a lot of courage don’t give up, and the audience you know they stood up they applaud and stufflike that. And the next day I don’t know why me and Terry and Amanda was staying all night with a friend he told me he said I'm glad I'm from the mountains. He said because you can tell the difference between a *advertiser censored*, a *advertiser censored* *advertiser censored* and a lady. And to me I felt like he was calling me a *advertiser censored* or *advertiser censored* or something like that
>snipped

I think this is the pattern he has learned at home. There are reports of abuse / sexual abuse taking place in his family, on the other hand his father was a military man (Airforce) and a minister in the Apostolic Pentecost Church, which suggest a disciplined behaviour in public.

Apart from this, his criminal record at Shelby County, states only driving offences and drug abuse. There are no records of him being physically violent outside of his home. This is why, if TH committed this crime, I place the crime at 1601 S. Mcauley. This is solely my opinion, yours might be different.
 
I will stay tuned as well, and look forward to your next post and seeing how you develop this theory!

What do you make of the sightings of the boys close to RHH as well as DM's sighting of the boys going north on north 14th street?

Graznik, I think it would be foolish to try and construct something that paid tribute to all sightings of the boys. Although I do not dismiss any of the sightings as not true, the only 2 sightings I really take seriously, are the JB sighting, and the DM sighting. The JB sighting because of the detail, the reference points, in time and date, and because she describes the boys like 8 year old boys act. I can imagine the boys were in and out of her back yard in this hour, I don’t think she stood at her window for this whole hour. Children at that age are whizzing about all over the place, playing hide and seek, exploring the world, let’s go here and let’s go there. DM will have recognised her own son, even from a distance. Don’t see any problem there. One thing that I have yet not considered, is the matter of the Green beans.
 
Greetings CherLockhomes! It really hit home to me when you posited:

"This shows a distinctive law of conduct that TH appears to follow. He defines his territory / Patch,
where he allows himself to move / act as he wants. This is the common behaviour of a male who indulges in
domestic violence.

In contrast, in situations outside of this territory, he becomes very angry, but restrains himself to verbal
attacks, and does not use physical violence."

I know this to be absolutely true as in the past I was subjected to domestic violence and the person was known as the nicest guy to everyone everywhere. I was the only one who knew what this person was capable of and after removing myself from this situation and years of counselling I feel I should be considered an expert on narcissism as I lived with it and it is dangerous and yes it only occurred on this person's territory (home) where there would also be no witnesses. This theory therefore makes perfect sense to me. JMO
 
Zen, thank you for sharing this experience. I feel very sorry for you, and you have my greatest sympathy. I deeply despise this sort of behaviour, and have spoken to many, many victims of abuse / sexual abuse and similar things, not as a professional, but as a friend & companion. Sometimes I was ashamed to be male.

snipped<
it is important to convey the idea that violence is never justified; it is not uncommon to feel "provoked" in relationships-- to feel anger, hurt, frustration, disappointment, etc.-- yet none of these feelings are an acceptable excuse for assault. An offender who says he cannot control himself at home does not belong on the street.
>snipped

This is taken from an extremely well written page on the subject, I must admit I was very surprised to find it in the settings of probation authorities. I have read a lot of literature on the subject of "domestic violence", this is really good. I will be addressing this page a lot in the future while looking at TH.

http://www.mincava.umn.edu/documents/bwjp/probationv/probationv.html
 
Thank you so much for your kind words C.L. Much appreciated. I can say now that I did not listen to my "gut feeling" at any time during that experience but I have come to realize how authentic our "gut feelings" are and I appreciate them now! I just feel that I learned so much then and absolutely after that.

The thought of children being subjected to any level of manipulation/abuse by a narcissist gives me shudders and I feel dread for them. I really do believe that T.H. is a narcissist as just even a bit of his behaviour points to this. We will never know what went on in that house.

Thank you for that link - it looks fascinating and I will read through all of it. I realized a long time ago during posts that you are very knowledgeable in the field of psychology and your posts are greatly appreciated. Thanks again.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Members online

Online statistics

Members online
121
Guests online
2,728
Total visitors
2,849

Forum statistics

Threads
600,750
Messages
18,112,916
Members
230,991
Latest member
DeeKay
Back
Top