Found Deceased WA - Cheryl DeBoer, 54, Mountlake Terrace, 8 February 2016 #7

[ANZAC]

I'm not following the idea that she committed suicide but did it in a thoughtful way so that she wouldn't be found at home, or found right away.

Let's just say that's the case - she committed suicide in such a mysterious way that no one is sure whether it's murder or suicide. How is THAT considerate of her family? Okay, I'll commit suicide but kinda make it look like murder, but it won't be murder, so family and friends will never know what really happened....?

No one said that she did a good job. The theory is that the text message, doing it while she should have been at work, leaving confusing evidence in the car, and then walking 1.5 miles to a culvert would make it unlikely she would be found before she had passed away, and maybe less likely to be found.

I am not sure that the motive is necessarily to make it easier on her family. We see people go to far far greater lengths to be not found ever, and a missing family member creates a huge amount of stress and pain on the family. It doesn't always make sense, in many cases the thought process is not rational.

 

[DanceCard]

I'm not following the idea that she committed suicide but did it in a thoughtful way so that she wouldn't be found at home, or found right away.

Let's just say that's the case - she committed suicide in such a mysterious way that no one is sure whether it's murder or suicide.

Cheryl did not sound like the kind of person who would want to leave her family without any answers.

I feel that I'm being misquoted here, so just to be clear on this, I posted earlier about Cheryl possibly giving consideration to who may find her. (If this was suicide).

I've never said that it's my opinion that she purposely did it in a mysterious way so that her family wouldn't know if it was homicide or suicide.
Yes, I agree that some of us are finding it mysterious, but IMO that doesn't mean it was intentional on her behalf. I don't have the same sense of shame and stigma that some posters here associate with suicide, which seems to be the main reason why some posters are saying it could have been staged as a murder. Although some have mentioned life insurance too.


I just want to be clear on this as your post seems to be connecting one thing that I have said and do believe is a possibility (if it was suicide) with something I haven't said and don't believe.

 

[DanceCard]

I am not sure that the motive is necessarily to make it easier on her family. We see people go to far far greater lengths to be not found ever, and a missing family member creates a huge amount of stress and pain on the family. It doesn't always make sense, in many cases the thought process is not rational.

I think from what I've read, that some people do appear to have some rational thoughts prior to the act, and at the same time they're having irrational thoughts.
So some of their actions can be seen to make sense and well thought out, while others can't.

Not disagreeing with you, just adding my thoughts. I spent years reading about suicide and attempt survivors in order to find answers and make sense of it all after my family member died.
The best conclusion I came to was that for me there would never be 'closure' but to accept that he did it because he couldn't see any alternative.
Dealing with the guilt and anger was the hardest thing once the initial grief started to ease.

 

[marcyjoy]

men are more likely than women, white men in middle age

guns are used over 50 %

There is strong evidence that suicide increases with middle aged women. Though, if this is suicide, the method is not the usual method - the article indicates drugs are common.

According to this article (http://www.today.com/id/43714272/ns...pikes-among-middle-aged-women/#.VvqlifkrKhc):
"And women aged 40-69 are more at risk of killing themselves than other women, according to new research on age-specific suicide rates between 1998 and 2007. In 2007, this age group made up 60 percent of the 7,328 suicides reported among women."

While the article speaks to known causes (mental health issues, health issues) it also talks about menopause and women being more in touch with a sense of mortality. While we know that the family has reported that there were no known mental health issues, we don't always know.

 

[lisette]

Just something that I have thought about...I know that waiting for and getting the cat seems to point away from suicide, but sometimes events are greatly anticipated, but fail to provide the relief from the depression that the person thought it would provide, and, thus, throws them even deeper into that feeling of hopelessness. I'm not saying that I think suicide is the cause of CD's death because I have no idea, but it's another factor to think about when talking about the import of the acquisition of the cat.

 

[Occam's Zebra]

I feel that I'm being misquoted here, so just to be clear on this, I posted earlier about Cheryl possibly giving consideration to who may find her. (If this was suicide).

I've never said that it's my opinion that she purposely did it in a mysterious way so that her family wouldn't know if it was homicide or suicide.
Yes, I agree that some of us are finding it mysterious, but IMO that doesn't mean it was intentional on her behalf. I don't have the same sense of shame and stigma that some posters here associate with suicide, which seems to be the main reason why some posters are saying it could have been staged as a murder. Although some have mentioned life insurance too.


I just want to be clear on this as your post seems to be connecting one thing that I have said and do believe is a possibility (if it was suicide) with something I haven't said and don't believe.

My apologies - I wasn't referring to your post specifically. I was considering the idea that Cheryl may have committed suicide in such a way as to 'hide herself' from her family. I think this has been mentioned in multiple posts.

 

[marcyjoy]

A bit off topic, but....

I am so saddened by the numbers and statistics for suicide. I have no way of knowing yet if CB's death is suicide, but just the research and reading I've been doing makes me feel so sad for people who think that suicide is the best solution. Unfortunately, I have known three close friends who have committed suicide, all as adults and all men. But reading the statistics just makes my heart heavy that there is that much hurt and pain.

I found some great information on facts, figures and risk factors here: http://www.suicidology.org/resources/facts-statistics

 

[Sun009]

There is strong evidence that suicide increases with middle aged women. Though, if this is suicide, the method is not the usual method - the article indicates drugs are common.

According to this article (http://www.today.com/id/43714272/ns...pikes-among-middle-aged-women/#.VvqlifkrKhc):
"And women aged 40-69 are more at risk of killing themselves than other women, according to new research on age-specific suicide rates between 1998 and 2007. In 2007, this age group made up 60 percent of the 7,328 suicides reported among women."

While the article speaks to known causes (mental health issues, health issues) it also talks about menopause and women being more in touch with a sense of mortality. While we know that the family has reported that there were no known mental health issues, we don't always know.

I would almost wonder if being more in touch with a sense of mortality, would apply to her more, because of where she worked? Like shes more aware of what there is/isn't cures for, and what people have to suffer through, and how hard people have to work to research so people won't suffer?

 

[dyannaON]

I don't know what happened to Cheryl but I will share on March 1 I was on my way to work and it popped into my mind that today was the day I would die. I've been depressed and suicidal for some time. My family had no clue that it was that bad.
I happened to be driving by the local hospital and stopped. Divine intervention maybe idk.
I was admitted that day to the mental health unit and just came home today.
My family had no idea that I had a plan. I wrote notes. At the same time I struggled because I wanted to also live but at times I just wanted to die. That day that I decided I couldn't take no more was no different then any other. Nothing traumatic happened. As well on a side note I learned a lot in my hospital stay and plastic bags are forbidden on the floor due to people harming themselves.
I'm not saying Cheryl did this. But sometimes people are super private and great at hiding things from their loved ones.
Rest in peace Cheryl and I pray your family gets answers. Xo


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[DanceCard]

My apologies - I wasn't referring to your post specifically. I was considering the idea that Cheryl may have committed suicide in such a way as to 'hide herself' from her family. I think this has been mentioned in multiple posts.

No problem, Occam's Zebra (great name btw !) I just wanted to try to make my own thoughts on it more clear about the thoughts that some posters have that this may have been suicide staged as a homicide. Thanks!

 

[DanceCard]

I don't know what happened to Cheryl but I will share on March 1 I was on my way to work and it popped into my mind that today was the day I would die. I've been depressed and suicidal for some time. My family had no clue that it was that bad.
I happened to be driving by the local hospital and stopped. Divine intervention maybe idk.
I was admitted that day to the mental health unit and just came home today.
My family had no idea that I had a plan. I wrote notes. At the same time I struggled because I wanted to also live but at times I just wanted to die. That day that I decided I couldn't take no more was no different then any other. Nothing traumatic happened. As well on a side note I learned a lot in my hospital stay and plastic bags are forbidden on the floor due to people harming themselves.
I'm not saying Cheryl did this. But sometimes people are super private and great at hiding things from their loved ones.
Rest in peace Cheryl and I pray your family gets answers. Xo


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I'm glad that you're here.
Wishing you well in your future recovery. Xo

 

[DatelineFan]

I don't know what happened to Cheryl but I will share on March 1 I was on my way to work and it popped into my mind that today was the day I would die. I've been depressed and suicidal for some time. My family had no clue that it was that bad.
I happened to be driving by the local hospital and stopped. Divine intervention maybe idk.
I was admitted that day to the mental health unit and just came home today.
My family had no idea that I had a plan. I wrote notes. At the same time I struggled because I wanted to also live but at times I just wanted to die. That day that I decided I couldn't take no more was no different then any other. Nothing traumatic happened. As well on a side note I learned a lot in my hospital stay and plastic bags are forbidden on the floor due to people harming themselves.
I'm not saying Cheryl did this. But sometimes people are super private and great at hiding things from their loved ones.
Rest in peace Cheryl and I pray your family gets answers. Xo


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Thanks for sharing! I'm so happy you went for help! Asking for help is never easy.

 

[marcyjoy]

I don't know what happened to Cheryl but I will share on March 1 I was on my way to work and it popped into my mind that today was the day I would die. I've been depressed and suicidal for some time. My family had no clue that it was that bad.
I happened to be driving by the local hospital and stopped. Divine intervention maybe idk.
I was admitted that day to the mental health unit and just came home today.
My family had no idea that I had a plan. I wrote notes. At the same time I struggled because I wanted to also live but at times I just wanted to die. That day that I decided I couldn't take no more was no different then any other. Nothing traumatic happened. As well on a side note I learned a lot in my hospital stay and plastic bags are forbidden on the floor due to people harming themselves.
I'm not saying Cheryl did this. But sometimes people are super private and great at hiding things from their loved ones.
Rest in peace Cheryl and I pray your family gets answers. Xo


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Thank you for sharing your very personal perspective. I'm glad you stopped. Here's to Divine Intervention and your road to recovery!

 

[Stripehaven]

DyannaON, thank you for sharing your story here. Sending you all my best wishes for continuing recovery.

 

[mrsgladyskravitz]

This particular park and ride lot is pretty small, but with a large parking structure attached. I would think the lot might get hectic and that it could be easier to meet a couple of blocks away in the overflow street parking area. And again, after work, they could avoid some traffic by having parked a little ways away. So I would actually be more surprised if they tried to meet inside the lot.

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[WhisperWorm]

look at these stats and then tell me she killed herself, seems to me the lack of evidence that people say mean she committed suicide is all the more reason I think it was a well planned homicide
http://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/
men are more likely than women, white men in middle age

guns are used over 50 %

What struck me was these sentences: "Something to look out for when concerned that a person may be suicidal is a change in behavior or the presence of entirely new behaviors. This is of sharpest concern if the new or changed behavior is related to a painful event, loss, or change. Most people who take their lives exhibit one or more warning signs, either through what they say or what they do."

I realize there that the key words are "may" and "most." However, her work friends, colleagues, and husband all say that there was no new or strange behavior.

What other facts do we know about Cheryl that happened days before Cheryl went missing?

Cheryl got a new cat on Friday.

Did Cheryl pick up the cat, or was the cat brought over to Cheryl's house?

What else did Cheryl do that weekend?

Where else did Cheryl go?

Who came over that weekend?

IMOO.

• Stryker says that they had all just returned from a vacation to the Bahamas.
• Friday she was working on a complex project and was complimented on how well she was managing it.
• Cheryl spoke with several family members, including her son and mother, during the weekend and seemed fine and "her usual happy self."
• Cheryl made purchases from Amazon that were delivered on Monday.
• The cat was picked up, as Stryker said that there was no blood in the cat carrier. JusticeForCheryl says that they picked up the cat in a different car than the one Cheryl drove to work on Monday.

Those are the only facts that I can think of right now; all the rest is speculation.

 

[Treelights]

What struck me was these sentences: "Something to look out for when concerned that a person may be suicidal is a change in behavior or the presence of entirely new behaviors. This is of sharpest concern if the new or changed behavior is related to a painful event, loss, or change. Most people who take their lives exhibit one or more warning signs, either through what they say or what they do."

I realize there that the key words are "may" and "most." However, her work friends, colleagues, and husband all say that there was no new or strange behavior.

• Stryker says that they had all just returned from a vacation to the Bahamas.
• Friday she was working on a complex project and was complimented on how well she was managing it.
• Cheryl spoke with several family members, including her son and mother, during the weekend and seemed fine and "her usual happy self."
• Cheryl made purchases from Amazon that were delivered on Monday.
• The cat was picked up, as Stryker said that there was no blood in the cat carrier. JusticeForCheryl says that they picked up the cat in a different car than the one Cheryl drove to work on Monday.

Those are the only facts that I can think of right now; all the rest is speculation.

Thank you for this list of facts!

 

[Treelights]

I don't know what happened to Cheryl but I will share on March 1 I was on my way to work and it popped into my mind that today was the day I would die. I've been depressed and suicidal for some time. My family had no clue that it was that bad.
I happened to be driving by the local hospital and stopped. Divine intervention maybe idk.
I was admitted that day to the mental health unit and just came home today.
My family had no idea that I had a plan. I wrote notes. At the same time I struggled because I wanted to also live but at times I just wanted to die. That day that I decided I couldn't take no more was no different then any other. Nothing traumatic happened. As well on a side note I learned a lot in my hospital stay and plastic bags are forbidden on the floor due to people harming themselves.
I'm not saying Cheryl did this. But sometimes people are super private and great at hiding things from their loved ones.
Rest in peace Cheryl and I pray your family gets answers. Xo


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Thank you for sharing! I am glad you are here!!!!!

 

[brandi]

The "book" found in the car is still a complete mystery. No wallet, no phone but a book and "animal blood" Hmmm:thinking:

 

[WhisperWorm]

The "book" found in the car is still a complete mystery. No wallet, no phone but a book and "animal blood" Hmmm:thinking:

This book has been really bothering me. Stryker wouldn't mention what it was when asked, either.