Found Deceased WA - Jenise Wright, 6, Bremerton, 2 Aug 2014 - #10 *Arrest*

[newone]

I focused less on the stranger danger aspect and tried to teach my kids to become more socially smart. Because some strangers are good people and some aren't. And if my child got lost, they would need to approach a stranger at some point. So I told them to go up to a store clerk but never go anywhere with them. Just stay with the clerk by the front of the store with the other clerks. If we were not in a store and you get lost, go up to a woman with kids. Because she is a mom and other moms will help you and keep you safe. Never go up to a man. Because he might be good but he might be a person that hurts kids.

When they were with me and a stranger talked to us, I emphasized that it was all right to talk to strangers when I was with them. If I was not with them, and a stranger came up to talk to them, they were to back up turn and run away especially if they were somewhere by themselves. After a stranger spoke to us, I would talk to them and remind them of all of this and we would break down why it felt OK in that situation. Because I was with them, because other people were around, etc. i wanted them to get an idea of how to make smart decisions about strangers rather than fearful of everyone.

Bravo!! EQ and social smarts are also part of parenting -- teaching them that they don't have to explain to anyone why they are disengaging and leaving a situation that is uncomfortable is my mantra too.

 

[amberjul]

Sounds like we need a Color Purple thread for all our babies

IIRC, Hailey Dunn's favorite color was also purple.

 

[human]

In the studies I have seen, they have said the head injuries make them MORE at risk...possibly. The risk was already there, but it could possibly make them even more so. I have not found a study on juveniles, that shows head injuries creates the risk. Only increases it. That is a very, very big difference. So far, no studies that I can scour for have been able to show if head injuries indeed cause and create the risk.

Here is just one quote from the first article posted above.

If the brain STRUCTURE changes, that is a change.

Now the quote:

Well before they result in concussion, blows to the head change the brain’s structure and the way it works, at least temporarily, he said. And there’s growing evidence that a succession of those smaller hits puts players at higher risk for the one that finally trips a concussion diagnosis, McAllister said.

“You quickly see that the emphasis on the hit is misplaced,” he said.

 

[ExpectingUnicorns]

OMGosh, such a good group of parents here. Really! But, lest we rest on our laurels, I have to remind you (and myself, too) that no matter how careful we are that there is always still a chance that anything could happen. Criminals can be intelligent, persistent and diligent. We are not in charge of everything (as hard as we try for all the safety reasons). So, I feel I really can't judge other parent's safety rules too harshly, fully knowing that they can't completely protect us from all dangers, anyway. They're probably tearing themselves up inside, in any case. Bless them!

 

[blue22]

Here is just one quote from the first article posted above.

If the brain STRUCTURE changes, that is a change.

Now the quote:

Well before they result in concussion, blows to the head change the brain’s structure and the way it works, at least temporarily, he said. And there’s growing evidence that a succession of those smaller hits puts players at higher risk for the one that finally trips a concussion diagnosis, McAllister said.

“You quickly see that the emphasis on the hit is misplaced,” he said.

Your articles aren't linking juvenile TBIs to criminal or violent behavior.

The study that was done (this won't let me link, but the link is at the end of the last thread) studying juvenile criminals, showed that kid's with TBI appeared at and INCREASED risk for criminal behavior. They did say that all in the study exibited behavior and already had some risk, but the TBI seemed to increase the risk. There has been no study that I can find, that suggest juvenile TBI CAUSES the risk of criminal or violent behavior, but can possibly contribute or exacerbate preexisting risk or tendencies. There is simply no study showing that TBIs can cause a juvenile to be a pedophile, or rape and murder.

 

[human]

Will your child go with a stranger?

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2013/07/31/predator-test-results

 

[human]

Another one.

Will your child go with a stranger?
http://mom.me/little-kid/8994-experiment-shows-kids-going-willingly-stranger/

 

[human]

Another one with some ideas of what to teach your kids.

Video at the end of the article

http://t.today.com/parents/would-your-kid-pass-ice-cream-truck-test-teach-stranger-717252

 

[borndem]

I'm sure this was posted in the last threads (behind)

"Neighbors say Gaeta's family appears to be moving out of the Steele Creek Mobile Home Park. They say there was a moving truck at the house today. Investigators say tensions are high as the small community grieves the little girl's murder."
http://www.kirotv.com/news/news/police-arson-and-vandalism-likely-retaliation-litt/ng3ZL/

Really sad for his mom.

If they are moving (it certainly seems so, if the MSM is correct -- I doubt almost everything at this point in many cases...), I wonder if they have told GG. Oh, the ripples that his alleged actions are causing. I would think the Gaeta's knew nearly everyone at least by sight in that little community. And now, having to move -- in a hurry, it seems -- and meet new folks, who will prolly know the name of this family, and on, and on. And this type thing happens to every family who has a member who is accused of awful crimes. So many innocents, so many bruises that will take a long, long time to heal.

No excuses for GG -- his negative & selfish actions have not stopped even though he is locked up tight.

 

[human]

Some info from the Washington Attorney General re missing children

http://www.atg.wa.gov/childabductionresearch.aspx#.U_E3oGK9KSM

 

[SCHMAE]

This topic makes me so glad my kids are grown. I know they're never out of danger, none of us are . But I could not come to this forum ever if I had little ones. It's too scary. You always know there are creeps out there wanting kids but until you frequent a place like this, I don't think you can really grasp the magnitude. It's like parents are in an all out war on a tiny little float in a sea full of predators .

ETA and you can warn them about this and that person and not to do this or that and at the end of the day , the one that gets them , is the one you never knew you had to warn them about

 

[brandi]

"And this type thing happens to every family who has a member who is accused of awful crimes. So many innocents, so many bruises that will take a long, long time to heal. "

Reminds me of "We need to talk about Kevin"

 

[ExpectingUnicorns]

"More than 2 million service members have
deployed in support of overseas contingency operations
(OCO) in Iraq and Afghanistan since October 2001.

http://www.cbo.gov/sites/default/files/cbofiles/attachments/02-09-PTSD.pdf

"Shock wave blasts from improvised explosive devices, rocket-propelled grenades and land mines are the leading cause of TBI for active duty military personnel in combat zones. Reports indicate that up to 20 percent of returning veterans exhibit symptoms of having sustained traumatic brain injury."

http://www.biami.org/brain-injury-veterans-michigan.htm

Maybe tbi has a different and possibly a more serious effect on youngsters than adults. But, mercy, 20% of 2 million is 40,000. Bless our faithful soldiers and please don't leave this sin at tbi's door!

I am with blue22 in thinking the proclivity has to be there first and then any injury could be a flash point for a person to succumb to sexual deviation associated with brain injury.

The vets already carry too many burdens for their gifts to us; lets not encourage any thinking that their dx of tbi leads to sexual deviance as well.

 

[mck16]

This is a subject that has not been discussed I don't think. I am dealing with the thoughts of if this were my son would I try to get him an attorney. Would I pay for an attorney that might bankrupt me and my son still be on death row and would I even care if he was on death row. I think for me at least it would be a very difficult choice I would have to make. My son who raped, killed, and left a 6 year old in a mud hole could I still love him? I am not sure how I would deal with it.

I am sure I would go through disbelief, anger, grief, hate, and despair. But, what would I be after going through all this? Would I love, could I love this monster and ever think of him as my son again. I just don't know. That sounds so cold but I am being realistic. jmo

 

[elmomom]

Your articles aren't linking juvenile TBIs to criminal or violent behavior.

The study that was done (this won't let me link, but the link is at the end of the last thread) studying juvenile criminals, showed that kid's with TBI appeared at and INCREASED risk for criminal behavior. They did say that all in the study exibited behavior and already had some risk, but the TBI seemed to increase the risk. There has been no study that I can find, that suggest juvenile TBI CAUSES the risk of criminal or violent behavior, but can possibly contribute or exacerbate preexisting risk or tendencies. There is simply no study showing that TBIs can cause a juvenile to be a pedophile, or rape and murder.

I really wasn't trying too hard and the first thing I read has this quote

In contrast, persons in a TBI neurobehavioral program displayed an average of about 280 aggressive acts per day during a 14-day period (Alderman et al, 2002). Sexual aggression was reported in 6.5% of a sample of male patients receiving either inpatient or outpatient TBI rehabilitation; the most common offenses were “touching” offenses followed by exhibitionism and overt sexual aggression (Simpson et al., 1999) Increasing evidence suggests that TBI-related aggressive behavior is strongly associated with depression (Kreutzer et al,1996; Tateno et al, 2003; Baguley et al, 2006).

BBM for emphasis

http://www.brainline.org/content/20...nsequence-traumatic-brain-injury_pageall.html

The point is, one underlying risk factor, out of several others may be in fact some sort of brain defect, possibly by injury. Undoubtably, there have to be other factors that add to the storm that forms a personality that rapes and murders children. Adding in having been abused himself as a child would be another possible risk factor. Undoubtably there are others... And that is what this discussion has been about.

 

[human]

This is a subject that has not been discussed I don't think. I am dealing with the thoughts of if this were my son would I try to get him an attorney. Would I pay for an attorney that might bankrupt me and my son still be on death row and would I even care if he was on death row. I think for me at least it would be a very difficult choice I would have to make. My son who raped, killed, and left a 6 year old in a mud hole could I still love him? I am not sure how I would deal with it.

I am sure I would go through disbelief, anger, grief, hate, and despair. But, what would I be after going through all this? Would I love, could I love this monster and ever think of him as my son again. I just don't know. That sounds so cold but I am being realistic. jmo

I would be examining every thing I did as a parent. I would be looking at where I failed.

I would be looking to see what warning signs I missed.

No problem for me because I see all kinds of parenting screw ups I made even though my adult children are great. I guess. So far

 

[newone]

This is a subject that has not been discussed I don't think. I am dealing with the thoughts of if this were my son would I try to get him an attorney. Would I pay for an attorney that might bankrupt me and my son still be on death row and would I even care if he was on death row. I think for me at least it would be a very difficult choice I would have to make. My son who raped, killed, and left a 6 year old in a mud hole could I still love him? I am not sure how I would deal with it.

I am sure I would go through disbelief, anger, grief, hate, and despair. But, what would I be after going through all this? Would I love, could I love this monster and ever think of him as my son again. I just don't know. That sounds so cold but I am being realistic. jmo

Thank you for bring up this topic. I was dismayed that the parents might be on the hook financially for representation for their son given he is a minor. It's an unenviable position for the parents at this point and definitely a lose lose either way. His actions have victimized so many including all of the members of his family.MOO

((severing parental rights??)) that would be a recurring thought IMO -- with all the evidence--

 

[ExpectingUnicorns]

Such a wonderful and sensitive question, mck16. Thank you.
I respect rules ~ For me to follow as well as others. I have told both of my children that there is never, ever anything they could possibly do to separate them from my love. I will die loving them, no matter what.

Financial support? Not sure what I could do if I thought they were guilty. If they got out and were guilty wouldn't that put society at risk and wouldn't that be nothing other than than a base and selfish act (trying to get them out of punishment)? :dunno: for sure. Except that I am certain I would still love them. (Lol, I'd probably think it was all my fault somehow, anyway. :iamashamed: )

 

[CatFancier]

Putting on my regular poster hat:

I agree, I know I would love mine now matter what. I would visit them in jail, send them mail and try to make their lives as good as possible. I would hire an attorney if I was able to keep them off death row but I couldn't help them get out of jail.

Unfortunately, I have felt the need to pay for one attorney already to defend my child. The charges of course were nowhere near this case but I have already been tested somewhat on this issue and that parenting feeling doesn't go away or diminish.

 

[blue22]

I really wasn't trying too hard and the first thing I read has this quote


BBM for emphasis

http://www.brainline.org/content/20...nsequence-traumatic-brain-injury_pageall.html

The point is, one underlying risk factor, out of several others may be in fact some sort of brain defect, possibly by injury. Undoubtably, there have to be other factors that add to the storm that forms a personality that rapes and murders children. Adding in having been abused himself as a child would be another possible risk factor. Undoubtably there are others... And that is what this discussion has been about.

I know what people are talking about, there is simply no reliable science behind the theory. Tests have shown things may contribute. Nothing saying that is DOES contribute and it can manifest like this.