These are my thoughts on the family. I believe that in the first week or so after finding MC, they were reeling and I find it amazing that they could even show up at the memorial the day after the private funeral which was AFTER a horrendous week of MC gone missing and all the mental anguish THAT must have been. Then they find out their daughter has been murdered. The police are all over it, they are being interviewed over and over. Then it probably moved on to evidence gathering and the information that LE would have been giving family would be mostly factual but probably not all the info is given to them either, or worse information given that might trip someone up as you would think they start with everyone close as suspects. No doubt they are all asked to not discuss the case with media or friends as it may hinder an arrest. The family doesn't want that to happen! Then on to the lie detector tests. What if THEY know who did and who didn't pass those? Yikes! Their phones are probably ringing off the hook from everyone they know day or night, including the police with more questions, more info, more thoughts to put in their heads. They probably have no time to deal with the emotions that come in waves during down times. Imagine what it would be like to be LIVING what we are all doing on here, trying to figure out WHO is responsible? Talk about wanting to close down your head i would think! I also figure they must be working closely with the LE and must have faith in the work LE is doing for them and MC or they would be speaking out. I don't think they would read our writings as that too, would only put MORE ideas in their minds of what horrible things MAY have happened. As parents, they certainly are looking more for facts than rumors. Although i also think they already know most of it, certainly they know their only daughter is not coming back to them. At any rate, they are living the nightmare 24/7 now. I feel really bad for them, and this will take a long long time for them to learn to deal with it on a day to day basis. They will never forget their precious daughter.
BBM
Scentamental,
Your thoughtful post is very powerful in my opinion. As someone who suffered through the murder of my brother many, many years ago, I can tell you that you have described
exactly what our family was going through.
My brother was missing for ten days, and I can attest to how devastating it is not knowing where your loved one is. You wonder where they are. Are they okay? Are they suffering somewhere, alone, and you can't do anything to help them? Will you ever see them again? Will you ever be able to tell them you love them one more time?
But the worst part -- you can't stop your mind from imagining every horrible scenario -- over and over again.
You can't eat, and sleep is measured in minutes, not hours. Your friends try to say the right things, but you're not really listening because your brain is still imagining all the horrible scenarios. You go through the motions of everyday life, but you'll remember very little of it. You go from complete numbness to crying uncontrollably.
The waiting game is excruciating.
And then you hear the news that you didn't want to hear, but deep in your soul you knew was inevitable. A different rush of emotions overwhelms you from the finality of it. At least during the waiting game, there was always a tiny glimmer of hope. But now, that hope has been obliterated by a few words from a police officer. We were told that his badly beaten body had been found on the side of the freeway. I believe he was discarded like an empty, plastic grocery bag.
During the waiting game, my family shed so many tears that by the time we had his funeral, we had very few left to give. We were numb again. Onlookers may have assumed we were uncaring. We weren't. We were all just mentally and physically beyond exhausted.
I hope this post isn't too OT. I just wanted to shed some light on what it's really like for the grieving family. I know it's an old cliche, but I truly wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
