Wow, guys.
First, I want to say that these 2 "parents" are likely horrible people who harmed their own child. I want to clarify that I am not standing up for these 2 particular people in any way, and I don't agree with children living in a home with parents who are addicted. I know first hand just how harmful that can be. Little Oakley has stolen my heart, she has the face of an angel, and I wish more than anything she'd come home safe.
Something that really bothers me, as a person with multiple close family members & friends who struggle with addiction, is the absolute viciousness of people who do not understand it. These two people do not deserve our sympathy. But people online are saying things about
ALL addicted people, like, "Druggies should be spayed and neutered!", "If an addict gets their kids taken away they should have to sign off rights immediately!", and things like that... it shows a distinct lack of understanding for addiction, which is a massive issue in our society. That lack of understanding is a huge part of why addiction is an epidemic in America. These are the kinds of attitudes that people trying to hide their struggle with drug use will see and decide to let their problems remain a secret instead of getting help.
The public shaming, misunderstanding, hatefulness towards something that is proven to be a disease makes the disease even worse. Lumping all drug users into one category of "horrible" is both cruel and untrue, as well. I would also like to point out that, statistically/more than likely, there are parents surfing here on Websleuths who lost their kids to drug overdoses or the like, and they have to come across comments like this that dehumanize people like their kid. I can't imagine how much that would hurt.
The immense stigma and lack of general understanding often makes people feel too ashamed to get the help they need. The language used truly matters. My dad was so ashamed about the judgment he felt over his alcoholism. He felt like people stopped seeing him as him, and saw him only as his worst problems. This made his crippling social anxiety even worse, which made him drink even more.
My heart is broken, because he just died from liver failure in September. It killed me when I would hear the sorts of awful things people said about/to him, all because he could
not stop drinking. And he had such a beautiful heart.
Addiction does not discriminate by one's race, career, relationships, class, education, motherhood or fatherhood
.
Good people get mixed up in drugs just as much as bad people do, I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's like we as a society forget entirely, or perhaps just do not realize, that drug use often stems from overwhelming trauma, childhood abuse, or mental illness issues. People being demonized for trying to numb pain that they can't cope with breaks my heart to see.
Here are some good links to learn more about how people with addictions are people just the same and need our help and compassion, not our judgment
Again, I want to reiterate that this way of talking about addiction is harmful in general. I am
NOT standing up for these two people; they have officially failed as parents and have caused their surviving kiddos a lifetime of pain. They deserve life in prison at the very least IMO.
