Yes.
Wow, guys.
First, I want to say that these 2 "parents" are likely horrible people who harmed their own child. I want to clarify that I am not standing up for these 2 particular people in any way, and I don't agree with children living in a home with parents who are addicted. I know first hand just how harmful that can be. Little Oakley has stolen my heart, she has the face of an angel, and I wish more than anything she'd come home safe.
Something that really bothers me, as a person with multiple close family members & friends who struggle with addiction, is the absolute viciousness of people who do not understand it. These two people do not deserve our sympathy. But people online are saying things about ALL addicted people, like, "Druggies should be spayed and neutered!", "If an addict gets their kids taken away they should have to sign off rights immediately!", and things like that... it shows a distinct lack of understanding for addiction, which is a massive issue in our society. That lack of understanding is a huge part of why addiction is an epidemic in America. These are the kinds of attitudes that people trying to hide their struggle with drug use will see and decide to let their problems remain a secret instead of getting help.
The public shaming, misunderstanding, hatefulness towards something that is proven to be a disease makes the disease even worse. Lumping all drug users into one category of "horrible" is both cruel and untrue, as well. I would also like to point out that, statistically/more than likely, there are parents surfing here on Websleuths who lost their kids to drug overdoses or the like, and they have to come across comments like this that dehumanize people like their kid. I can't imagine how much that would hurt.
The immense stigma and lack of general understanding often makes people feel too ashamed to get the help they need. The language used truly matters. My dad was so ashamed about the judgment he felt over his alcoholism. He felt like people stopped seeing him as him, and saw him only as his worst problems. This made his crippling social anxiety even worse, which made him drink even more.
My heart is broken, because he just died from liver failure in September. It killed me when I would hear the sorts of awful things people said about/to him, all because he could not stop drinking. And he had such a beautiful heart. Addiction does not discriminate by one's race, career, relationships, class, education, motherhood or fatherhood.
Good people get mixed up in drugs just as much as bad people do, I've seen it with my own two eyes. It's like we as a society forget entirely, or perhaps just do not realize, that drug use often stems from overwhelming trauma, childhood abuse, or mental illness issues. People being demonized for trying to numb pain that they can't cope with breaks my heart to see.
Here are some good links to learn more about how people with addictions are people just the same and need our help and compassion, not our judgment
Again, I want to reiterate that this way of talking about addiction is harmful in general. I am NOT standing up for these two people; they have officially failed as parents and have caused their surviving kiddos a lifetime of pain. They deserve life in prison at the very least IMO.
- Poverty, Homelessness, and Social Stigma Make Addiction More Deadly - harvard.edu
- Alcohol and Drug Addiction Happens in the Best of Families... And It Hurts - samhsa.gov
- Compassion For Addiction When Contempt Causes Harm - psychologytoday.com
- The Cure For Addiction is Compassion - Open Society Institute of Baltimore
I Don't remember the statistics either. Jennifer Coffindaffer, Retire FBI of 28 yrs. She has tweeted the statistics & alot of information on child trafficking in the us. @coffindafferfbi (twitter)
yep, that's why i clarified 2 times in my post that this situation is horrible and i feel no sympathy for this particular couple
I think it's high time to stop depending on CPS to investigate reports of child abuse and call LE directly. Seriously they were contacted in January, and November. Obviously they did Zero then because if they had LE would not have to ask for anyone that has seen her in the last year. Where the H was CPS when The DNA Donors were denying another child their meds?????? Where were they when the fire happened. I don't believe for one second the little Angel started it, or that they couldn't find their phones. Where was CPS all that time?????? Why did they ignore what was happening to these children????????
I would be interested in knowing what the guidelines are for LE in this situation. What would they have done if they had been called? Is there a possibility that they were called and didn’t respond? Maybe they just said call CPS that’s their jurisdiction? There has to be a way to get these children attention faster and obviously going through the channels we have is not working. I don’t like to bash CPS, I don’t know what laws they have to follow. If the judge in this case said that Oakley had to be returned to her parents then wouldn’t their hands be tied to? This poor little girl was basically returned to hell and most likely no longer with us. JMO
Well clearly CPS was called in January,and November. Clearly they did nothing both times. Nothing. If they had done something LE would not have to ask for anyone that has seen this precious little human being in the last year. A judge's order does not mean CPS can ignore reports made after said order. Like the ones in January,and November. They still have the duty and obligation to do the one job they are tasked with. Protecting Children. If they had done the one job they are tasked with we would not be here with not just one child failed, but two so far. I get the feeling it will be all the children from the DNA Donors that have been failed. By this entity who had the ultimate power over the children's lives. In January,and again in November. It's high time to stop the nonsense. Time to state calling LE and filing police reports on cases of child abuse. Don't take no for an answer. Don't back down. See something, say something. MOO
how does that come up? "we saw her 11/30 uh, but idk what happened after that"
i wonder what the reasoning was... simple couldnt be bothered neglect, or anti pharma conspiracy theory?
Addicted parents are not capable of properly parenting children. That doesn't mean they don't love their children. They have a sickness that creates a very unsafe situation for children. Sadly, the need for drugs will always supersede the needs of the children. When they are in altered state created by drug use, they cannot safely parent. They simply aren't capable. That's just the nature of the beast.
omg. this is horrible.
