WA WA - Shantina Smiley, 29, & Azriel Carver, 8 (fnd deceased), Olympia, Mar 2010 - #2

[PaulR]

Yet, bf was adamant she would never put her son at risk by doing this.

In his shoes, what would you have said? Even if you knew about the DUI, and thought that perhaps she was drinking and driving with her son in the car: The media is going to hear "alcoholic with previous DUI" and go away, assuming she's in a park somewhere sleeping it off.

 

[LogicalMinds]

I think the fiance is in denial when he claims that she would not drink and drive....a recovering alcoholic can be the best person in the world, but once they "pick up that first drink" everything changes....

they can and will do things that "they" would not do in their normal, rational "sane" sober mind.....as they say in AA, the first drink is too many and 1000 isn't enough

In "AA" they do the "12 steps">> at some point they are told to repair the "wreckage of the past" with the help of a sponsor...this can involve making "amends"...ie going to people from past that you have wronged, or hurt, or screwed over when you were drinking, etc

it sounds to me like the visit to the stepfather /maybe the ex were part of this...however, ONCE SHE PICKED UP THE FIRST DRINK LAST WEEK SHE SHOULD HAVE NEVER GONE THROUGH WITH THE AMENDS/VISITING THE PAST>...one drink and you are back to "step one"....you have to start all over and just go to meetings (or rehab) and get sober all over again

I wish I knew how long she had been sober?? I personally think that pressures, fiancee "illness", pushing for marriage, maybe trying to do the amends/visit the past were too much for her

Once she began drinking nothing she did would be rational...once an alcoholic starts drinking there is NO telling how bad they can get, what dangerous or foolish things they might do, what a mess they can and will make

I am not afflicted myself, but I have had relatives and "sig other/s" who were...

as for the fiancee....some of those who continue to love an alcoholic also need to work the steps in Al-ANON and get out of denial....it sounds to me as if he was not JMO

Added : not to mention that she also had some depression issues/meds going on...and a family history of suicide (her mother)

 

[90Nine]

A friend she grew up with just wrote this about her on the news page:

(I didn't hear about the emergency lights...)

"I believe that she was drinking. It clearly shows in her actions and reactions on that night. Why did she put the emergency blinkers on in the parking lot of the conveience store she was at when she bought the wine. I think she was drinking all day. Mabey dealing with reconciling with her step-father and the bad news of possible cancer of her fience proved to be a little to much to take for a recovering alcholic. I know because I too have delt with some of the same issues in my past. you drink to deal and not feel. I have known Shantina since grade school and for a long time was very close to her almost like sisters. I know she had her demons but I do believe in change and her desire to break free from all the chains holding her down. I think she was happy. I think that could have scared her, being so happy, her relationship with her fience and finally finding peace in her chaotic world."

http://www.komonews.com/news/88274362.html

 

[impatientredhead]

I have no idea if JWB is the step-father she was going to visit, but JWB does live in Castle Rock.

Besides the ancestry site, this news article lists Shantina's mom as TLWB, and says she died in 2005: http://www.tdn.com/news/local/article_52e58802-3018-11df-a8af-001cc4c002e0.html

The JWB rape conviction was in Pierce County. I don't want to link to it incase it's a different person. But it would make sense with the grandparents filing a petition for custody in the same month. Filing for custody of an 11 year old seems like it would only be done if there was a problem - perhaps the mother was depressed etc. for a while.

The JWB that pled guilty to first degree rape (section a- with use of a deadly weapon) would have to have been in jail for three years minimum by virtue of the statute he was convicted under. Putting his earliest release date in March of 1993, but I cannot tell if he only did the minimum by taking the plea.

The genealogy site shows Tammy Wallingford married a JWB in May of 1993. Which makes it very possible, but a really bad sign if it is the same.

My very first thought when the step father and ending an estrangement with a relapse was that she had childhood trauma related to this person.

 

[mtrooper]

I think this is new:


http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2010/mar/17/missing-silverdale-woman-had-a-dui-and-order-in/

 

[90Nine]

I think the fiance is in denial when he claims that she would not drink and drive....a recovering alcoholic can be the best person in the world, but once they "pick up that first drink" everything changes....

they can and will do things that "they" would not do in their normal, rational "sane" sober mind.....as they say in AA, the first drink is too many and 1000 isn't enough

In "AA" they do the "12 steps">> at some point they are told to repair the "wreckage of the past" with the help of a sponsor...this can involve making "amends"...ie going to people from past that you have wronged, or hurt, or screwed over when you were drinking, etc

it sounds to me like the visit to the stepfather /maybe the ex were part of this...however, ONCE SHE PICKED UP THE FIRST DRINK LAST WEEK SHE SHOULD HAVE NEVER GONE THROUGH WITH THE AMENDS/VISITING THE PAST>...one drink and you are back to "step one"....you have to start all over and just go to meetings (or rehab) and get sober all over again

I wish I knew how long she had been sober?? I personally think that pressures, fiancee "illness", pushing for marriage, maybe trying to do the amends/visit the past were too much for her

Once she began drinking nothing she did would be rational...once an alcoholic starts drinking there is NO telling how bad they can get, what dangerous or foolish things they might do, what a mess they can and will make

I am not afflicted myself, but I have had relatives and "sig other/s" who were...

as for the fiancee....some of those who continue to love an alcoholic also need to work the steps in Al-ANON and get out of denial....it sounds to me as if he was not JMO

Added : not to mention that she also had some depression issues/meds going on...and a family history of suicide (her mother)

Another member posted that she had a DUI from 2005 and was required to go to rehab at that time. I would imagine she's been sober since then unless she's relapsed during that time.

 

[KeenEyes]

90Nine

 

[eyes4crime]

The JWB that pled guilty to first degree rape (section a- with use of a deadly weapon) would have to have been in jail for three years minimum by virtue of the statute he was convicted under. Putting his earliest release date in March of 1993, but I cannot tell if he only did the minimum by taking the plea.

The genealogy site shows Tammy Wallingford married a JWB in May of 1993. Which makes it very possible, but a really bad sign if it is the same.

My very first thought when the step father and ending an estrangement with a relapse was that she had childhood trauma related to this person.

Ever since I've been on this thread - been thinking of the possibility of childhood trauma. Not sure if it had to do with step-father, but she sure seemed to be avoiding that visit. moo

 

[pufnstuf]

There is a JWB on the sex offender registry for Washington... and he's non compliant out of King County.

Don't know if this is the same person as the step-father, though. I can't imagine SS's grandparents being happy that she's going to visit someone who possibly abused her.

We may not be on track with the sex offender thing.

 

[RubyRed]

In his shoes, what would you have said? Even if you knew about the DUI, and thought that perhaps she was drinking and driving with her son in the car: The media is going to hear "alcoholic with previous DUI" and go away, assuming she's in a park somewhere sleeping it off.

You make a valid point. I would hope people would still search. She was at even more risk for hypothermia, with alcohol in her system. It does not matter the poor choices she made, she still deserves to be found, hopefully safely. I just feel the poor choices ( his too) have caused her and her sons life. Tragedy no matter how it came to be.

 

[mysticrose]

There is a JWB on the sex offender registry for Washington... and he's non compliant out of King County.

Don't know if this is the same person as the step-father, though. I can't imagine SS's grandparents being happy that she's going to visit someone who possibly abused her.

We may not be on track with the sex offender thing.

This man you are talking about is to young to be her stepdad, her stepdad was born in 1955, in a US hosp., Tokyo Japan

 

[anyoldtime48]

The JWB that pled guilty to first degree rape (section a- with use of a deadly weapon) would have to have been in jail for three years minimum by virtue of the statute he was convicted under. Putting his earliest release date in March of 1993, but I cannot tell if he only did the minimum by taking the plea.

The genealogy site shows Tammy Wallingford married a JWB in May of 1993. Which makes it very possible, but a really bad sign if it is the same.

My very first thought when the step father and ending an estrangement with a relapse was that she had childhood trauma related to this person.

IF (big fat one) that is the same JWB, it might explain why so far as I've seen, he has yet to get near a camera or even be quoted.

Given the huge number of JWB's in WA court system, have to take a Pierce Cty with a big grain of salt. Odds with 200+ out there that it is not him. According to this link, if it is indeed correct, he's been in Cowlitz Cty since high school. Or course that doesn't preclude travel up to Pierce, but neither does it mean he did so for any nefarious means.

http://familytreemaker.genealogy.com/users/b/r/o/Don-Brown-WA/BOOK-0001/0005-0014.html

Sure am curious though why his daughter (CMB maiden name) has spoken up to media, but CMB's dad has not. Unless there is another step-dad out there. Long line of step this and step that in her family.

 

[mtrooper]

This is on FB: Not sure if I can use her name, but her initials are C.K.

Dear Facebook Friends, The young women and her son that are missing in the Olympia area, are my husband's daughter and grandson. It was our house that they were on route to on Saturday. My husband is devastated and we hope you will join us in praying for Shantina & Az's safe return.

And a friend of Shantinas on FB

 

[pufnstuf]

This man you are talking about is to young to be her stepdad, her stepdad was born in 1955, in a US hosp., Tokyo Japan

Then that rules out her father being on the registry. The other JB's in WA don't have the same middle name as her father.

 

[Lipin One]

Wine purchase So far she had been on the road for 3 hours to travel 50 miles and did not ask for directions when she purchased this wine.

Exactly, what was she doing all those hours before she bought the wine?

10:00 p.m. – Shantina and her son stop off at a residence occupied by an elderly couple. She used the phone in the residence and called her grandfather to say she was lost, and there was an accident of sorts, but she did not elaborate. The elderly couple fed her son a slice of pizza and gave her directions to get back on the main road.

Did her grandfather notice she was intoxicated when she called about 10:00pm??? Slurred speech? Making sense??

Investigators are currently diving into her bank account and cell phone records. Investigators need your leads on this case.

Aye! Aye! I hope they get the lead they need.

I am no alcoholic, but know a few. Let's say that when there is alcohol present they drink until it's gone! It's like food-addicts in front of a carton of ice cream- they don't rest the spoon until the COIC is gone! ... or the bag of potato chips.

So, finding half a bottle of wine makes me think about my alcoholics theory... of drinking all they can until it's gone.

Also, was the amount she drank enough to make her fall, become disoriented... but at the same time people did not smell her breath, or declare her drunk?

 

[mysticrose]

I did not want to post the title of this news article, because do they really know yet ?


Lancaster Father of Missing Son: Foul Play Not Involved

Jay Carver flew to Olympia, Washington Tuesday night to meet with detectives in a desperate attempt to find his eight-year-old son, Azriel.

Jay hasn't seen his son in several years, but has recently re-established regular contact with Azriel and his former girlfriend, Shantina Smiley.

The mother and son were last seen Saturday night when they left to visit a relative. Their mini-van was discovered Sunday morning along the waters of Puget Sound. Surveillance video showed the two walking out of a mini-mart. But the last known contact was from a resident who claims Shantina asked him for directions.

Azriel's dad, Jay Carver from Lancaster, has been on the ground in Washington since Tuesday. He told 2 On Your Side he retraced his ex-girlfriend's and son's steps but after meeting with investigators, he doesn't know what happened.

"It definitely doesn't look like foul play is involved, just a lot of questions and it's become more and more of a riddle," said Carver.

"What do you think this is?" 2 On Your Side's Josh Boose asked him.

"I don't know," he said. "You know what I mean? It could be sudden crazy, alright? There are a couple pieces of details that haven't been confirmed yet and I really don't want to say to give something away."

Back in Buffalo, Jay's friends and family held a prayer vigil for Azriel and his mom.

http://www.wgrz.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=75383&provider=gnews

 

[pufnstuf]

I also wonder why her stepfather isn't being interviewed. I haven't even seen his name mentioned in the media.

 

[impatientredhead]

There is a JWB on the sex offender registry for Washington... and he's non compliant out of King County.

Don't know if this is the same person as the step-father, though. I can't imagine SS's grandparents being happy that she's going to visit someone who possibly abused her.

We may not be on track with the sex offender thing.

The one with the rape conviction appears to have been released in 1998 which is the same year that we get the non-compliant offender in King County. If the non compliant offender is too young to be the stepdad I think we can rule him out.

 

[90Nine]

A = Silverdale (approx. 120 miles)
B = Castle Rock
C = Area where van was found (approx.)

Thanks for posting this. So from this, it looks like she was headed there to Castle Rock. Maybe she did really get lost.

She had only driven 50 miles is what I'm reading (hoping I'm reading correctly).

Lets give her an hour 90 minutes to drive the 50 due to traffic. Which means she drove around for about 4 hours lost in Olympia - going from store to restaurant to store...then to a house, without figuring out how to get back to the freeway. I'm not seeing that she asked for directions at all of her stops either.

 

[pufnstuf]

CK, Shantina's stepmother, seems to be a very sweet, warm person...she was very supportive on her FB page of Shantina and Az visiting. So sad that it ended this way.