WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 1

[belimom]

Is that Ed as in "editor" or was this written by someone named Ed? What is the source for his information?

I posted that research only to say that research showed that even in the context of a custody dispute, such as this case presents, 88 percent of the time, allegations of abuse and neglect were either true, or made with a genuine belief that the same were true. So the above possible false allegations is a representation of maybe 12% of all cases. Whether this case is among those 12% remains to be seen.

I think it's someone named Ed? If you look on the first page of the website, there's a welcome letter signed by Ed.

I'm not trying to say that false allegations have proven to be common, although I think the belief among the general public is that they *are* common. I guess the important issue is whether or not the allegations are true in this case. Or is it important? For me, I guess it is because I don't believe the mom's story about leaving Sky and coming back to find him missing, so I'm more inclined to question other things she has said as well.

I have a gut feeling that the truth lies somewhere in the middle, with the behavior of both parents being questionable at best. With that being said, I do not think that the father has anything to do with Sky's disappearance and he does not appear to be on LE's radar as much as the mother is.

 

[Sparklin]

I tried to type in her name and came back that my search was invalid.. do we have the correct spelling of the name???

Same here, but I had the first name/last name in the wrong areas

 

[SassyBenton]

wtf?????

Yes, very disturbing. I'm on my iPhone right now and can't link, but I'm sure it's on the Kiro website. Lots of unsettling items in the court docs. I hope I am wrong but this may turn out to be far worse than first thought.

 

[Cubby]

I'm watching our local news Kiro 7 and they showed court docs with allegations from her husband that she had told him she had dreams of strangling their younger child. That would be the child that is missing now.

Really? When was it she was supposed to have said this? Because I find it very hard to believe she would share this information with him. IMO it sounds like mud slinging he is making up. I mean, I really can't imagine sharing this with my stbx who I have accused of beating me and have obtained an order of protection against.

The only way this would remotely make sense if if she had some kind of ppd after Sky was born, which would be on record (but not disclosed to the public per hippa).

Why would dad say this outside of the context of mentioning it along with PPD if it was not intended to be mudslinging?

all jmo

 

[Amster]

I'm watching our local news Kiro 7 and they showed court docs with allegations from her husband that she had told him she had dreams of strangling their younger child. That would be the child that is missing now.

:gasp:

 

[RabidBadger]

Really? When was it she was supposed to have said this? Because I find it very hard to believe she would share this information with him. IMO it sounds like mud slinging he is making up. I mean, I really can't imagine sharing this with my stbx who I have accused of beating me and have obtained an order of protection against.

The only way this would remotely make sense if if she had some kind of ppd after Sky was born, which would be on record (but not disclosed to the public per hippa).

Why would dad say this outside of the context of mentioning it along with PPD if it was not intended to be mudslinging?

all jmo

If she was diagnosed severe OCD then perhaps it's not much of a stretch given the claim and the complaints back and forth that she obsessed about harming him and felt compelled to do so.

 

[DairyGirl]

I see how you could take my post to mean that...

No. What I mean is that she seems to have a LOT invested in her children, in *most* cases the mother is neglectful and/or abusive in the past. She does not appear to be either. I don't see "evidence" to anything yet. I think she is being either wise, or taken.

The new custody agreement, the daughter fearful (or so it seems on the tapes) of her daddy, the dad so quick to say she's out of her mind when she claims abuse, so many things make me think he led her to do something rash.

IMO

She left a 3 month old baby in a car by himself in freezing temperatures. How is that not neglectful? And at the very least, in spite of being arrested and taking parenting classes she admits to doing the same thing again.

 

[Irish_Eyes]

Parental Alienation Syndrome

False Allegations of Child Abuse and Domestic Violence

...False allegations of domestic violence and child abuse are common in family law proceedings and the person making the allegation (predominately female) far too often succeeds....

http://home.earthlink.net/~elnunes/pas.htm

The above quoted statement is blatantly contradicted by actual research. I would add that it is anectdotally contradicted by what we often see here on WS.

I don't want to get this thread too off topic. I do have a thread in the general discussion area for protective parents, and I believe there is some PAS info there you can check out. It wasn't included in DSM V, and for good reason. Mostly it's used as a defense in abuse cases. However, Richard Gardner, who created it, specifically states that PAS is not applicable in cases where there is family violence. That is to say, it is reasonable and normative behavior to want to restrict contact between a child and an abuser.

The problem is that in this case, we don't have enough evidence yet to know what the whole family history looks like.

 

[ingra1327]

Video with message from Sky's father saying his mom's story doesn't add up:

http://www.kirotv.com/news/news/bellevue-police-search-missing-2-year-old/nFXM6/

This video also talks about the violent dreams a bit and about the mother being more concerned with cleaning than feeding the kids.

 

[Rougelatete]

So, JB was "more interested in cleaning the empty refrigerator twice a day" than feeding her daughter -- that's how bad her OCD was. FYI, OCD is an anxiety disorder and it sounds like hers was really unchecked. OCD compulsions (i.e. behaviors and thoughts) get worse in times of increased stress. Sounds like this divorce has been highly stressful. When OCD compulsions get to the point that they're interfering enough in your life that you're not tending to your kids' basic needs, that's a train that has run pretty far off the rails. (I'm a mental health therapist, btw).

Also, SM has made some pretty weird statements to the news -- he's kind of a creepy-sounding guy. But, at least he's made statements to the news (both addressing JB and the possible kidnapper/s). Why hasn't JB made a statement? From her POV, there are only 2 possibilities -- Sky walked off or Sky was kidnapped. Why isn't she appealing for his safe return?

 

[Pensfan]

]Sometime it's just coincidence that the people in a murderers life seem sketchy too.

.....but frequently it's not because animals (humans, too) mate with others who are like themselves phenotypically aka positive assortative mating.

(above post respectfully shortened)

 

[Cubby]

If she was diagnosed severe OCD then perhaps it's not much of a stretch given the claim and the complaints back and forth that she obsessed about harming him and felt compelled to do so.

I'm not a psychiatrist, but wouldn't a dx of wanting to harm a child come under the form of some kind of postpartum depression or psychosis and not OCD? :waitasec:


My gut tells me there was a lot of ugly bitterness back and forth between both parents and I fear this father will use this opportunity as a means to 'get back at his stbx' and not put the focus where it should be, on finding his child.

 

[Irish_Eyes]

Really? When was it she was supposed to have said this? Because I find it very hard to believe she would share this information with him. IMO it sounds like mud slinging he is making up. I mean, I really can't imagine sharing this with my stbx who I have accused of beating me and have obtained an order of protection against.

The only way this would remotely make sense if if she had some kind of ppd after Sky was born, which would be on record (but not disclosed to the public per hippa).

Why would dad say this outside of the context of mentioning it along with PPD if it was not intended to be mudslinging?

all jmo

You make good points, Cubby. But if he said that, I would still hope someone would have given some pause. If it's true, that's really dangerous. If it's not true, that says a lot about his character and motivations.

Either way, these poor kids have lived through a whole lot already
Please, in some crazy twist, just let this case end well!

 

[RabidBadger]

So, JB was "more interested in cleaning the empty refrigerator twice a day" than feeding her daughter -- that's how bad her OCD was. FYI, OCD is an anxiety disorder and it sounds like hers was really unchecked. OCD compulsions (i.e. behaviors and thoughts) get worse in times of increased stress. Sounds like this divorce has been highly stressful. When OCD compulsions get to the point that they're interfering enough in your life that you're not tending to your kids' basic needs, that's a train that has run pretty far off the rails. (I'm a mental health therapist, btw).

Also, SM has made some pretty weird statements to the news -- he's kind of a creepy-sounding guy. But, at least he's made statements to the news (both addressing JB and the possible kidnapper/s). Why hasn't JB made a statement? From her POV, there are only 2 possibilities -- Sky walked off or Sky was kidnapped. Why isn't she appealing for his safe return?

Perhaps they are still keeping her busy explaining herself at Headquarters :innocent:

 

[Ada]

I'm not a psychiatrist, but wouldn't a dx of wanting to harm a child come under the form of some kind of postpartum depression or psychosis and not OCD? :waitasec:


My gut tells me there was a lot of ugly bitterness back and forth between both parents and I fear this father will use this opportunity as a means to 'get back at his stbx' and not put the focus where it should be, on finding his child.

BBM

I think we are sometimes too quick to blame a woman's mental health issues on PPD.

 

[RabidBadger]

I'm not a psychiatrist, but wouldn't a dx of wanting to harm a child come under the form of some kind of postpartum depression or psychosis and not OCD? :waitasec:


My gut tells me there was a lot of ugly bitterness back and forth between both parents and I fear this father will use this opportunity as a means to 'get back at his stbx' and not put the focus where it should be, on finding his child.

It's actually very unusual for a mental disorder to occur in isolation. Usually there are co-existing disorders, and in the face of a SEVERE disorder, then a psychotic break especially under stress is possible.

 

[Irish_Eyes]

I think it's someone named Ed? If you look on the first page of the website, there's a welcome letter signed by Ed.

I'm not trying to say that false allegations have proven to be common, although I think the belief among the general public is that they *are* common. I guess the important issue is whether or not the allegations are true in this case. Or is it important? For me, I guess it is because I don't believe the mom's story about leaving Sky and coming back to find him missing, so I'm more inclined to question other things she has said as well.

I have a gut feeling that the truth lies somewhere in the middle, with the behavior of both parents being questionable at best. With that being said, I do not think that the father has anything to do with Sky's disappearance and he does not appear to be on LE's radar as much as the mother is.

I have to admit being more suspicious of the mother at this point too. I tried to play out a lot of different scenarios. What if he drained the gas out of her car so she couldn't go very far? But how could he have known exactly where she would run out of gas, and how could he have known that it wouldn't be in a busy area, or that she would leave one kid and take the other? It's too far fetched for me, it just doesn't compute. She's either directly responsible, or indirectly responsible for leaving her child unattended. MOO.

 

[Pensfan]

I'm not a psychiatrist, but wouldn't a dx of wanting to harm a child come under the form of some kind of postpartum depression or psychosis and not OCD? :waitasec:


My gut tells me there was a lot of ugly bitterness back and forth between both parents and I fear this father will use this opportunity as a means to 'get back at his stbx' and not put the focus where it should be, on finding his child.

Most psych patients have multiple diagnoses. If her homicidal thoughts just recently began, they will not fall under PPD as she is 4 years past her last delivery. She could have Major Depression with psychotic features, but there is no telling until the entire story is heard.

Pensfan
_____
verified psychiatric mental health nurse

Edited: Husband reported her as having homicidal dreams and not obsessive thoughts about injuring her child while awake.

 

[Rougelatete]

I'm not a psychiatrist, but wouldn't a dx of wanting to harm a child come under the form of some kind of postpartum depression or psychosis and not OCD? :waitasec:


Thoughts of harming your child are not really consistent with an OCD diagnosis. Ruminating -- i.e., having FEAR-based thoughts running over and over in your mind -- about FEARING that you might harm your child (inadvertently), might be consistent with OCD, but not necessarily. Thoughts, no. Fears, maybe. OCD is an anxiety disorder. It has to do with anxiety, fear, apprehension, worry etc. -- often about things that are outside your control (i.e. your baby suddenly dying) so you try to control everything else in your environment (i.e. cleaning the fridge, washing your hands, etc).

That said, thoughts of harming your child WOULD be consistent with the fact that JB was involuntarily committed to a psychiatric institution. To be Section 12'ed, you have to be a clear potential harm to yourself and/or other/s. That may be the reason she was sectioned.

 

[Irish_Eyes]

So, JB was "more interested in cleaning the empty refrigerator twice a day" than feeding her daughter -- that's how bad her OCD was. FYI, OCD is an anxiety disorder and it sounds like hers was really unchecked. OCD compulsions (i.e. behaviors and thoughts) get worse in times of increased stress. Sounds like this divorce has been highly stressful. When OCD compulsions get to the point that they're interfering enough in your life that you're not tending to your kids' basic needs, that's a train that has run pretty far off the rails. (I'm a mental health therapist, btw).

Also, SM has made some pretty weird statements to the news -- he's kind of a creepy-sounding guy. But, at least he's made statements to the news (both addressing JB and the possible kidnapper/s). Why hasn't JB made a statement? From her POV, there are only 2 possibilities -- Sky walked off or Sky was kidnapped. Why isn't she appealing for his safe return?

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