If that is true, her narcissism is inherited. She has a smidgen of the poor me syndrome as well. Uhm, how is her grandson not mentioned in there once and how is her exhusband leaving her 20 years ago relevant?
Totally agree that Julia's mom's fixation on her marital change 20 years ago shows an unhealthy state. But, lucky for us, it IS very revealing. I do believe she was, herself, overwhelmed with her situation back then. Remember, she wasn't just summarily dumped, she was taken to a FOREIGN COUNTRY where she didn't even speak or UNDERSTAND the language (can you imagine that?) and then dumped with no job, no way to pay next months rent, no way to buy food for her kids next week, not even knowing how and where to begin to survive, REALLY survive, not just "get over being dumped".
My guess is she was forced to sort out priorities and she could not do everything. Meaning she could find a job and work hard to buy groceries and pay rent but she couldn't pay enough attention to her kids emotional needs. Julia developed some serious pathology, as we know by her sizable theft at the age of 16, probably just one of many clues that she was somewhat "unhinged".
I guess it is only natural, even if it is not good or healthy, to blame the *advertiser censored* that left her in that situation and ruined not only HER life (as she perceives it) but her daughter's life too, and now maybe even cost her grandson HIS life.
If she distances emotionally, maybe it is because it is more than she can bear.
I sense she feels enormous anger toward Julia. She's been treated very badly by her for years, according to Soloman. It seems Julia only felt "entitlement" when it came to her mom. I think her mom is trying to say in as complete a way that she can that it's not her fault.
Sure sure, in hindsight, maybe there are SOME things wherein she could have made a different choice, but really, are we about to engage in wholesale lack of empathy for this poor woman in ADDITION to Soloman? How many victims will Julia have at the end of the day, and will we allow ourselves to be Julia's battering ram??