Why did KC surround herself with people "less attractive" than herself?

[not_my_kids]

As I am not one of the "beautiful people" I understand how this topic could be offensive. But it was not started to hurt anyone. It is not to critique anyone's clothing or hairstyle, the thread was made to see if there is any reason that she seems to choose friends that are less aethetically pleasing than herself.
So far, no names have been mentioned, and as long as it stays that way, I think that this thread could be productive as long as people are given a chance to actually discuss it.
Caylee needs to be found and since there is a very good chance that her biological womb hold the key to that, then we need to do everythin gwe can to get into Casey's head.
As always, my opinion and as always, it will probably be ignored, but I thought it was worth a shot.

 

[bunnyphoenix1]

For anyone that would like to compare, I have a few photos of her friends. Very few of them have names, just the pictures.
http://s407.photobucket.com/albums/pp155/tmdj06/

I really must be missing something here...her friends are very attractive. She hung out with clubgoers, the dj's, danced with the dancers etc....she hung with the pretty people. I think most of the people she was hanging out with were more attractive than her. Am I really in the minority in thinking this?

 

[not_my_kids]

I really must be missing something here...her friends are very attractive. She hung out with clubgoers, the dj's, danced with the dancers etc....she hung with the pretty people. I think most of the people she was hanging out with were more attractive than her. Am I really in the minority in thinking this?

I tend to agree. MOst of her friends were pretty good looking.
But Casey did have a certain shine and charisma that a lot of the others don't seem to have. Some people see that shine and it makes the person seem more attractive.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

I tend to agree. MOst of her friends were pretty good looking.

And that leads me to wonder if she used different people for different reasons. If that's the case, we might be looking at more of a need to fit in and fear of rejection which could point to a different personality disorder altogether.

I had a really long post, full of different links to the most likely personality disorders that MIGHT be affecting Casey and then I got bumped offline. Ugh! Then again, it probably wasn't very interesting to anyone but me anyway. lol.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

Casey exhibits a large number of symptoms from some of the more likely personality disorders but also seems to lack some of the key symptoms of each. Overall, I think that she fits best into the "antisocial personality disorder" but the others are definitely worthy of consideration as well. It might be that she's got overlapping disorders(?) ...

Antisocial personality disorder: Symptoms - MayoClinic.com


Common characteristics of people with antisocial personality disorder include:

• Persistent lying or stealing
• Recurring difficulties with the law
• Tendency to violate the rights of others (property, physical, sexual, emotional, legal)
• Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights
• Inability to keep a job
• A persistent agitated or depressed feeling (dysphoria)
• Inability to tolerate boredom
• Disregard for the safety of self or others
• A childhood diagnosis of conduct disorders
• Lack of remorse for hurting others
• Possessing a superficial charm or wit
• Impulsiveness
• A sense of extreme entitlement
• Inability to make or keep friends

Psychology Today's Diagnosis Dictionary: Histrionic Personality Disorder

Individuals with Histrionic Personality Disorder exhibit excessive emotionalism--a tendency to regard things in an emotional manner--and are attention seekers. Behaviors may include constant seeking of approval or attention, self-dramatization, theatricality, and striking self-centeredness or sexual seductiveness in inappropriate situations (this reminds me of her interactions with Rob(?) Dick), including social, occupational and professional relationships beyond what is appropriate for the social context. They may be lively and dramatic and initially charm new acquaintances by their enthusiasm, apparent openness, or flirtatiousness. They commandeer the role of "the life of the party". Personal interests and conversation will be self-focused. They use physical appearance to draw attention to themselves. Their style of speech is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail.

Borderline personality disorder - MayoClinic.com

When you have BPD, you often have an insecure sense of who you are. That is, your self-image or sense of self often rapidly changes...

Your relationships are usually in turmoil. You often experience a love-hate relationship with others. You may idealize someone one moment and then abruptly and dramatically shift to fury and hate over perceived slights or even minor misunderstandings. This is because people with the disorder have difficulty accepting gray areas — things are either black or white...


Other signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:

• Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or taking illicit drugs
• Strong emotions that wax and wane frequently
• Intense but short episodes of anxiety or depression
• Inappropriate anger, sometimes escalating into physical confrontations
• Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
• Suicidal behavior
• Fear of being alone

 

[GA Peach]

I wonder this...just my opinion...

Does KC suffer from a superiority complex or an inferiority complex? All the lies she told about herself: the job, money, etc. - was that to be accepted? Did she feel she had to "be" that type of person to fit in? This was a new group of friends if I recall correctly?

Or, did KC thrive on attention and being the apparent superior one in the crowd assured her that attention?

The relevance to the case may have something to do with KC's need for attention...a stunt or ploy to get sympathy that backfired?

I feel this topic has as much or more relevance to this case than what the gallon capacity of the gas cans were--yet that one goes on and on...

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

I wonder, too, now that we're discussing this, GA Peach. It could be that she needed to feel more important than she is. And all of the lies were a way to build herself up in other people's minds. I'm most intrigued by her *apparent* sexuality, (I don't know that her level is any different than any other 22 year-old) and her being the "perfect girlfriend" as described by some of Tony's friends. Since she didn't seem to know how to be the perfect mom or the perfect friend or the perfect daughter or even hold down a job, how is it that she was able to fulfill the role of perfect girlfriend? I suspect it might have to do with a form of "mirroring", sometimes a chameleon-like ability. They don't really "know" how to be any type of person so they mimic other people and do what they believe a perfect (fill in the blank) would do, (and IIRC, this would more likely indicate borderline personality disorder):

How to Diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) | eHow.com

They have a chameleon-like ability to become like whomever they're with because of their lack of "self."

 

[ZooKeeper]

OT, I think you could be correct about how KC saw herself, and for the most part how others saw her. She seemed to be very attractive to men. She did always look good in MO and although I may not think she was the most attractive female out there, I do think she did outshine many of the other females she choose to be friends with at or away from the clubs. It seems many of you many not believe being, even 5 lbs overweight, it's that important. I believe she loved being Queen of her world. Which brings us back to "Who was Queen at home"

 

[GA Peach]

IMO, I don't know that she was the perfect girlfriend. Going through as many guys as she did, I think her need was deeper.

I feel she was looking for the simplest of all things -- love. I know from my personal experiences and interactions in life that sometimes when you find no value in yourself, you look for it in other places. You feel worthy if someone says you are.

I don't know...I think KC never really bonded with Caylee and part of that may have been because of CA. Being the mom, she knew how to do it, just watch, this is how it's done, etc. Maybe KC never got the kind of love she needed at home and when Caylee came along, she saw her daughter getting what she had longed for all her life.

I'm not pulling all of this out of thin air...it is close to home but is JMO.

 

[GA Peach]

I have a question, I think it may fit in here...?

I can't help but notice that the KC we are seeing now, does not resemble the KC we saw in all of the pictures. Does anyone else notice this? I think she has lost a bit of weight which makes her face look thinner but she looks very different in my opinion.

In the club pictures she had a hip, young adult look--now, she looks almost like a young teen, except of course when she did her perp walk live on TV. And again, she looked completely different there as well.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

I thought the same thing. She looked VERY different, IMO. You know, this might sound silly but as I was typing this, I was thinking about how dark her face seemed and then I wondered ... maybe it's the eyebrows. Did she have time to pluck the eyebrows in jail? I don't know that eyebrows would make that big of a difference. In any case, I also thought she looked like a teenager. (Do you mean when she left jail the first time with Baez or just in general?)

Good grief, I really have to get to bed! I'll catch up with you all tomorrow.

 

[Fermi]

This topic does have relevance in that the more one understands the pathology underlying the criminal mind and the antecedent patterns of these individuals, the greater the chance of intervening or effecting change.

I wish some posters would not take offense or be ultra-sensitive towards this topic. It is what it is. I do not feel that the intent was to "put down" any of KC's friends, but rather to determine if they, in any way, fed her pathological tendencies. This thread is no different than the myriad of studies that go on every day across the country in psych fields and human behavior research labs. It is no reflection on KC's friends, it is a reflection on her.

Here is a link to an excerpt of Dr. Sam Vaknins' very enlightening book Malignant Self Love for those who are interested in exploring this aspect of KC. Along with APD, she exhibits many narcissistic traits:

​

http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissismself.html

As with any thread on this forum, this one is not "one size fits all." So please, respect the rights of your fellow WSers to explore this topic as we respect your right to follow threads that you deem relevant.

JMHO

 

[GA Peach]

I thought the same thing. She looked VERY different, IMO. You know, this might sound silly but as I was typing this, I was thinking about how dark her face seemed and then I wondered ... maybe it's the eyebrows. Did she have time to pluck the eyebrows in jail? I don't know that eyebrows would make that big of a difference. In any case, I also thought she looked like a teenager. (Do you mean when she left jail the first time with Baez or just in general?)

Good grief, I really have to get to bed! I'll catch up with you all tomorrow.

Just in general...she looks very young...has the mannerisms--bouncing around when she went with Lee the other day...she just doesn't look her age or like she did in the club. When she was arrested at home all made-up, she looked entirely different there as well. There have been like three different looks. Didn't notice the eyebrows....it's more of an air about her.

Yes...it's very late here too and I have my son's baseball all day tomorrow...ugh... lol :crazy:

 

[Bluebel]

If we were talking about any other girl, I'd see nothing unusual about her circle of friends, or even the clubbing. I'd write it all off as a 22-yr-old single mother seeing if it's possible to walk the line between growing up herself and hanging on to the crazier crowd.

That's why I'm torn between thinking her compatriots are indicators of her psychology, or not. Interesting thread either way, for sure.

GAPeach, I completely agree - I, too, thought she looked really different post-arrest. Way younger, and the entire shape of her face seems changed. Probably just weight loss + facial tension/body carriage, but it's striking.

 

[monoxide]

She was the perfect girlfriend because she was so very easy? Let's face it, guys will go for the easiest 75% of the time

 

[Fermi]

Usually when you surround yourself with people than are less attractive than yourself, it is a sign of low self esteem. However, a lot of people seem to think that Casey is a narcisisstic person. We can't have it both ways.

I know it gets confusing with all of the disorders and overlaps amongst them. Actually though, when it comes to narcissism and low self-esteem, they are often "roommates."

The link in my earlier post to Vaknins' excerpt from, in my opinion, the best book on this subject, sheds much light on this.

Hope this helps.

 

[Fermi]

Does KC suffer from a superiority complex or an inferiority complex?

Feelings of superiority and inferiority exist together. If one is on top, the other is underneath.

I feel this topic has as much or more relevance to this case than what the gallon capacity of the gas cans were--yet that one goes on and on...

:clap:

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

She was the perfect girlfriend because she was so very easy? Let's face it, guys will go for the easiest 75% of the time

lol, probably true. But I'm referring to Tony's one friend, (can't remember his name), who said that he told Tony that he better "wife her up" because she was such a good girlfriend. Apparently she'd bring groceries, make dinners, do Tony's laundry, etc. I do wonder, now that someone else pointed it out, how much of what she did was in an attempt to fit in. Very good point ... I think I'll sleep on it.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

I know it gets confusing with all of the disorders and overlaps amongst them. Actually though, when it comes to narcissism and low self-esteem, they are often "roommates."

Many, many years ago, while I was still in college, I learned that if a person has a personality disorder, it's extremely unlikely that they will only have one; that they're not as cut-and-dried as they would seem to be in the DSM and that there are many possible overlaps.

 

[unsaid]

I wonder this...just my opinion...

Does KC suffer from a superiority complex or an inferiority complex? All the lies she told about herself: the job, money, etc. - was that to be accepted? Did she feel she had to "be" that type of person to fit in? This was a new group of friends if I recall correctly?

Or, did KC thrive on attention and being the apparent superior one in the crowd assured her that attention?

The relevance to the case may have something to do with KC's need for attention...a stunt or ploy to get sympathy that backfired?

I feel this topic has as much or more relevance to this case than what the gallon capacity of the gas cans were--yet that one goes on and on...

A lot of what you said in this post caught my attention. I'm glad this thread is working out! Plenty of intelligent folks on the board!

I'm leaning toward an inferiority complex. That explains why she lies to her friends. There was one friend who said in an interview (Ryan, I believe, not sure if male or female) that he/she knew Casey would tell lies but they dismissed it as her just trying to have one up. Like she knew she wasn't doing as much as her friends and they knew it so they just dismissed her lies as harmless lies to make herself look better. That's how I think people tolerated her lies, they kinda understood why she would be telling them. A lot of her friends were furthering their educations or at least working and she was trying to appear to be on or above their levels which proves she didn't feel she was on their level at all. She used lies to elevate her status. I just said the same thing over and over lol.

I never thought about the idea that whatever happened to Caylee could have been an attempt to get attention gone wrong. That's a DEFINITE possibility.