SBM:
...Or your gaslighting fiancé dismisses your need for tidiness and has repeatedly led you to believe that you "have OCD" and "are crazy" and your completely normal (and necessary in a small van on a cross-country road trip!) requests that he keep things tidy too are completely unreasonable. Prob, "See how you are crying about this? Your anxiety has made you crazy!"
Instead of it being about him devaluing her needs, he slyly makes it about her "being mean" to him, and suddenly he's now the victim.
Gaslighting is a true brainwarp and you don't even realize its happening. Well, my experience, anyway. I'm sure I am projecting my own experiences on that, too. MOO.
Rest in Paradise, sweet Gabby.