You are Casey's Mom or Dad....

[Georgia101957]

I like to look at it this way...If my child and I were drowning in a river, and my mom or dad raced to the riverbank, and they could either reach left and save me, or reach right and save my son....they would both reach right, because they know that's what I would want them to do...So if I were Cindy, I would have said in the beginning "I want one thing...I want my grandaughter home...you're lying about what happened and everyone knows it...I am meeting with the prosecutor in one hour, and by the time he's done with me, he's going to know every lie you ever told. I'm going to give him free reign over the house to search anything and everything...then I am going to go knock on every door in Orlando, I'm going to search every river, rock, and roadside until I find Caylee, and when I do, if you had anything to do with it, I am going to be the first one to raise my hand and testify against you..." My parents would have NEVER bought the "I was doing my own investigation for 31 days" bs...they would have known right then that something was waaaay wrong...

I love this and I totally agree with you. :clap:

The only thing I would add is that my daughter would know that is how I would react. I don't play games.

 

[pirate]

I just had an epiphany- Casey is definitely a child of the cable TV era- and has probably watched alot of CSI, Law & Order, etc.

She probably used her memories of these shows to concoct her ridiculous story assuming it would be plausible because it's so common on TV and in movies.

The "Script" thing really gets me. Almost like she wanted to be the martyr or superhero.

 

[eddeva]

Right on!!! Those 1st 911 calls would have a slightly different tone. "I'm calling b/c my daughter needs an ambulance".

me too. if she made it that far.
i realize that this isn't gonna be a popular reply, but if i had a daughter like casey, and found myself in cindy's situation that first night when i caught up to her, then i'd do whatever it took to have all my questions answered .. and they would have been answered before the cops ever arrived.

 

[elissabee]

Let's put ourselves in the position of being her mom or dad...
What would you ask her?
What inconsistencies would you lay awake at night thinking about?
Would you go see her?
What position would you want your lawyer to take?
Looking back, with all the evidence, what have you now figured out?
Would you believe she worked all this time?
What would you have done different?

I'd ask her, "Don't you miss Caylee? We miss her so much and you don't even seem to care. Are you ever going to tell the truth about what happened?"

I'd lie awake thinking about every lie she ever told me. I'd be worrying night and day about where Caylee was all those times when she wasn't with me or Casey because I'd be pretty convinced there was no nanny.

I don't think I would go see her because I'd get so angry every time and would only hurt my mental health. Maybe this is why the As stopped visiting her, too.

I'd want my lawyer to take the position of truth--that I am a grieving grandparent with no involvement in any crime. But if that's the case, what do I even need a lawyer for?

I've figured out that my daughter is a pathological liar. She never had a job or a nanny. And my grandbaby was dead in the trunk of her car.

I probably would have believed it up until June 16th when Casey took the police to the Universal offices and then found out she didn't work there. Parents want to trust their kids. I would have wanted to trust her and believe her until proven wrong.

I would have tracked Casey down long before June 15th. No way would a month have gone by without talking to my daughter or granddaughter. And when LE did get involved, I would tell them right off the bat, "My daughter is mentally ill. She is a liar." Because IMHO C & G had to know this already.

 

[SuziQ]

I would work closely with LE, stressing that I wanted the truth to be found no matter what. I would ask LE to set me up with the very best FBI profilers, I'd provide them all info they wanted. I would research to find the best psychologist in the U.S. for working with sociopaths, meet with them, provide all info. I would pay for the psychologist to work with the FBI profilers, LE, all info they had, all info I (and family and friends) could provide them, to develop a set of questions I could ask my daughter.

I would ask the psychologist and the profilers to coach me on how to ask the questions, what tone of voice, what facial expressions, what body language I should use, IOW how to ask the questions to give the very best chance of getting more info from my daughter to find out what happened. For my own personal reasons, I would ask them to also help me determine *why* it happened.

It would be agony, but I would have to work to find out what happened.

I'd find out from the profilers and the psychologist whether my daughter would kill again, how much damage she would cause other people, and I would then work with LE, SA, and my daughter's attorney for LWOP if she would damage others. I believe every sociopath causes extensive damage to others, and can not by age 22 be helped not to, so I don't think I would try to get a reduced sentence. I'd just want her contained.

Then I'd visit her occasionally, write to her once a week, try to provide what she needed (not wanted). And I'd cry a lot and go into therapy and maybe go back to school for something to distract me from the hell I'd be living in.

Great post. I would do everything but what I bolded. I would walk away for good, because she would only attempt to continue to manipulate and suck the life out of me. It's what sociopath's do. They are the closest thing to a vampire living on this planet.

ETA: I know the above sounds cold, but at this point Casey ruined my life and took my grandaughter away from me. I would not give Casey the opportunity to put the final nail in my coffin.

 

[suejay40]

Let's put ourselves in the position of being her mom or dad...
What would you ask her? Why didn't you just leave her with me, do you hate your family that much that you couldn't have thought of her welfare first?
What inconsistencies would you lay awake at night thinking about? Why did she need to steal from everyone and their brother (no pun intended) if she had such a great job.
Would you go see her? Once to find out what she did to my grandchild. If no truthful answer, never again, she would be dead to me.
What position would you want your lawyer to take? I would not give a darm what position her attorney took. If she killed my granddaughter, she might as well have killed herself as far as I would be concerned.
Looking back, with all the evidence, what have you now figured out? She really is a spikefull bit__, and made sure everyone knew it.
Would you believe she worked all this time? No way.
What would you have done different? I would have known exactly what she was doing and proved it in court to take my grandchild away from her forever.

None of this may have changed the outcome in the end, but at least I would know I had done what I could to take care of my grandchild. Then I would probably go into long long long term therapy to get some semblance of a reason to live.

 

[Pollywog]

Well in the first place I would have called her on each and every lie from the very beginning. If she had a job and was living at home still, she could chip in on expenses for the baby and if she had a job she would not need money from me. I would have insisted on meeting the so called nanny. I met my grandkids nanny about 2 months after she started keeping them. I wanted to see for myself where they stayed so I went with my daugther to drop them off. Also the nanny needed to know me so I could pick them up on occassion. Yes I would go see her, but would not listen to another lie, she could tell the truth or we would talk about something else. I would still love her as my child but I would see her in a different way and no way would I believe the continued lies.

I feel the A's let KC get away with too much for too long.

 

[TxLady2]

I hate to admit it, but I would have many of the same reactions that CA has had. Anger at the media, total disbelief that my child could have committed such a horrible crime. I would visit her in prison, I would never stop loving her, but, I would NEVER in my heart or in my mind be able to deny the overwhelming evidence that my child murdered my granddaughter, nor would I be able or willing to proclaim her innocence to the public.

I also would have a hard time believing my child could do something like this, and I would never stop loving them, no matter what. But I think I would have to admit it to myself sooner or later, if only to myself. Maybe they have, but cannot say so.
One thing most people are forgetting now is that the A's cannot afford to publicly admit that Casey is guilty because it would hurt her defense if they do. And I'm sure Baez has told them this. It is probably the most difficult thing for them to do, to realize and accept that Caylee is dead... and so, to accept that their own daughter killed her is next to impossible.
Also.. once your child is an adult, there is very little you can do to make them accept responsibility. The more they railed on her, the worse she would rebel against them. She has refused to talk to anybody about it except maybe her attorney, and it's doubtful that she has even told him.
Furthermore, none of us can be positive how we would handle this if we were thrown into it. The disbelief, the denial, the sheer horror of it would probably affect us in such a way that not many of us could sustain a sense of normalcy. We cannot imagine one of our children doing something so horrific... therefore to state with such certainty what WE would do, is ridiculous. We haven't been in a situation exactly like it before. Sometimes how you react comes as much a surprise and a shock as the tragedy itself.

 

[diz39]

Let's put ourselves in the position of being her mom or dad...
What would you ask her?

"
What would you have done different?

I would have had ORAL sex.

Bold mine.:floorlaugh:

 

[diz39]

I like to look at it this way...If my child and I were drowning in a river, and my mom or dad raced to the riverbank, and they could either reach left and save me, or reach right and save my son....they would both reach right, because they know that's what I would want them to do...So if I were Cindy, I would have said in the beginning "I want one thing...I want my grandaughter home...you're lying about what happened and everyone knows it...I am meeting with the prosecutor in one hour, and by the time he's done with me, he's going to know every lie you ever told. I'm going to give him free reign over the house to search anything and everything...then I am going to go knock on every door in Orlando, I'm going to search every river, rock, and roadside until I find Caylee, and when I do, if you had anything to do with it, I am going to be the first one to raise my hand and testify against you..." My parents would have NEVER bought the "I was doing my own investigation for 31 days" bs...they would have known right then that something was waaaay wrong...

Well said, Irish. ITA :clap::clap::clap:

 

[Dejablue]

After kicking her *advertiser censored** for not telling anyone anything for 31 days, I would have asked her the tough questions, and let her know if she cannot tell me the truth I have to assume the worst. I wouldnt speak to her until she decides to tell me everything!!!

I would have allowed LE access to EVERTHING!! I would NOT have an attorney, because I wouldnt need one.

Enough is Enough. Continuing to kiss her butt isnt doing anyone any bit of good.

 

[tehcloser]

Why do I keep hearing that the A's have no choice but to defend her at this point? They DO have a choice. What they are trying to stick to this bull to get her off? The dp is off the table. So she will spend life in prison...that sucks, oh well don't kill your kid. How about saying "Yeah, she did it. She has to pay the price. We still love her. But we accept that she killed her daughter and must face the consequences."

 

[BuffaloPI]

These are tough questions to answer - mainly because CA's behavior towards Casey to this point seems to have been largely motivated by her own feelings of guilt, probably stemming from:

1.Her insistance that Casey not give Caylee up for adoption, probably "sweetened" by promises to always help care for Caylee.

2.Her subsequent about-face: pparently trying some sort of "tough love" to force her daughter to suddenly become responsible and take on more and more of Caylee's care. It seems she got tired of the financial and time commitments and was trying to puch Casey to do more

3.this leading to more and more violent confrontations with Casey, and more and more subterfuge/lies/theft from Casey.

While its certainly not fair to blame CA for Caylee's death, I suppose deep down she feels responsible, and holds desperately to any chance of hope that her daughter may be innocent, thus making herself innocent as well.

 

[concentric]

What I would do different: assuming I am CA and KC is my daughter.

2. I would have never forced my irresponsible, sociopath daughter to have and raise a child, she made clear she did not want.

If I were CA I would have gone to a psychologist with my daughter to confront my own need as to why I wanted to keep the baby in opposition to my daughter wanting to adopt her out.

Even the psychologist on NG said that Casey never wanted the baby.

 

[concentric]

These are tough questions to answer - mainly because CA's behavior towards Casey to this point seems to have been largely motivated by her own feelings of guilt, probably stemming from:

1.Her insistance that Casey not give Caylee up for adoption, probably "sweetened" by promises to always help care for Caylee.

2.Her subsequent about-face: pparently trying some sort of "tough love" to force her daughter to suddenly become responsible and take on more and more of Caylee's care. It seems she got tired of the financial and time commitments and was trying to puch Casey to do more

3.this leading to more and more violent confrontations with Casey, and more and more subterfuge/lies/theft from Casey.

While its certainly not fair to blame CA for Caylee's death, I suppose deep
down she feels responsible, and holds desperately to any chance of hope that her daughter may be innocent, thus making herself innocent as well.

:clap:

 

[Litany]

I wouldn't have allowed things to get this far in the first place, assuming I would have had the power to stop things before they progressed. It appears that Casey has never had to face consequences of her actions. There were many opportunites to force her to face theft charges, as an example, and attempt to gain custody of Caylee in the process. Even before Caylee was born, I have doubts that Casey was "the perfect daughter" who has recently snapped. Help was needed long ago and although I'm sure no one thought her capable of murder they did feed the monster that we are now seeing by doing nothing at all.

 

[BetsyB]

What would you ask her? I wouldn't bother asking, with Casey. I wouldn't get answers
What inconsistencies would you lay awake at night thinking about?The inconsistencies would not keep me awake. My failure to protect my granddaughter would.
Would you go see her?I would still love her; I am not sure I would continue to expose myself to her toxicity. I would no longer grovel for her affection, as it is fabricated.
What position would you want your lawyer to take?I would want my child to be given consequences for her actions. I would be tremendously upset if other members of my family were further harmed to spare her.
Looking back, with all the evidence, what have you now figured out?I have figured out that I have a sociopath for a daughter. There is likely anything I could have done to change that, but I failed in my role as protector to an innocent child. I have also figured that I was selfish to a fault when pressing my daughter to keep a baby I knew she was ill-equipped to raise.
Would you believe she worked all this time?No. And I would now feel tremendously guilt for having tolerated it
What would you have done differently? I would have (a) encouraged my daughter to give her baby up for adoption; (b) tried to channel her sociopathy in acceptable directions and, (c) failing that, severed ties much sooner--no matter how painful it might have been--to preserve the integrity of the remaining family.

 

[concentric]

BetsyB--great post btw.

Seems to me that CA insisting that KC keep the baby, without significant counseling with KC to determine if that was the right action, set in motion the repercussions of that pivotal decision--KC secretly greatly resented, if not hated, both her mother and Caylee. JMO.

Even so, she could have chosen a different path, away from murder.

 

[metalcrystal]

Let's put ourselves in the position of being her mom or dad...
What would you ask her?

"Did Caylee suffer?"

What inconsistencies would you lay awake at night thinking about?

None.

Would you go see her?

Never again.

What position would you want your lawyer to take?

Back seat to the prosecution.

Looking back, with all the evidence, what have you now figured out?

That my sociopath offspring murdered the most innocent angel, the love of my life, becauser she is evil incarnate.

Would you believe she worked all this time?

It would not matter, I would now believe that my entire life with her was a lie and would never ever look back and wonder about anything because it is pointless to continue to beat myself up over this inhuman blob that was born to me.

What would you have done different?

I would have had ORAL sex.[/QUOTE]

Funniest post ever.

I would have taken that baby and run as fast and far as I could. And left those 2 losers KC and GA trying to figure out how to pay the rent with their "jobs".

 

[trac]

I've thought about this - and I believe no one could say for certainty what they would do - UNTIL you are in the situation. I've also thought of what my parents would do if it were me

First off - I'd never be in this situation and nor would my daughters - they have a conscious - they have empathy and will not let an animal or person suffer at their hand

So -first what would I do - well, I can go by what happened to my youngest - she stole something from a friends mom - and lied about it to me and to the police - first I did yell at her 'how could you!' 'I didn't raise you to do this garbage!' 'if you did this I will not protect you!' etc. The officer came by again and my daughter then admitted to it, apologized, and was given community service - REGARDLESS I took her to the police, I did not cover up for her, and I watched as she picked up trash

So - if it were like this, and my daugher killed my grandchild - and all the evidence pointed to her - I'm not sure what I would do - my grandchild and our family would be the victims - I love my daughters, I'd probably get them a lawyer and tell them to tell the truth no matter how horrible and take the punishment for their actions. It would haunt me forever and I'd blame myself for letting it happen, because I do feel like it's how it's about the child is raised

This is just for my own children - if Casey was my daughter - she never would have gotten pregnant, she wouldn't be out partying, she wouldn't be a liar, and she wouldn't be like she is - she just wouldn't - because this is not the person I am or my family is

I can't speak for the A's parents - with everything I've read and heard it's almost like G and C are just as immature as Casey and Lee - the denials, fights, running away from responsiblity - they probably are not like this, their denial for this long over Casey and her theiving and lying ways put them in a light of their PURE DENIAL.