YouTuber reveals she gave her 4-year-old adopted son with autism to another family

[shadowraiths]

"A popular YouTuber who frequently posted about raising an adopted boy on the autism spectrum from China has now given him up to a new family. In an 8-minute video, Myka Stauffer and her husband Jim explained their decision to give up 4-year-old Huxley, drawing criticism from those who accused her of "rehoming" him. " -- CBS News

Comment: I cannot find any information that confirms this child was actually given to a real family. My cynical self says, he was murdered, and that's why they took so long to concoct the "rehoming" story. Especially in light of her historical search for a money making scheme, which ended when she and hubby came up with an adoption story, that resulted in Huxley's adoption.

 

[LeeAnnB]

I can’t think of any type of “family” or mother with a medical background that could be better for a child than the parents he has had the past few years. Only thing I could think of was perhaps some type of institution that could provide 24/7 care.
I find this couple extremely shifty in this video, real manipulative

 

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YouTuber Gave Up Adopted Chinese Son With Autism After Monetizing Him Online

It's pretty gross imo that she used him in ads and pimped out this adoption, only to "rehome" him with a "forever family." What each family can handle is none of my business, but to use him for views and ads and monetize the child waxing poetic about motherhood and wouldn't change a thing, then give away - that's the part where the backlash is coming from. Hopefully he is in a good home now with the right kind of support and parents equipped to handle his needs.

 

[katydid23]

YouTuber Gave Up Adopted Chinese Son With Autism After Monetizing Him Online

It's pretty gross imo that she used him in ads and pimped out this adoption, only to "rehome" him with a "forever family." What each family can handle is none of my business, but to use him for views and ads and monetize the child waxing poetic about motherhood and wouldn't change a thing, then give away - that's the part where the backlash is coming from. Hopefully he is in a good home now with the right kind of support and parents equipped to handle his needs.

I'd like to see some 'proof of life' before I assume he is living safely in another home.

 

[borndem]

I'd like to see some 'proof of life' before I assume he is living safely in another home.

You said it, katy. I do hope it's true that he is healthy and happy in his new home; I also hope this big shift in his life at the tender age of 4 y/o will be easy for him to handle as he grows older, if....

Wondering if there will be further investigation or follow-up on this...

 

[katydid23]

You said it, katy. I do hope it's true that he is healthy and happy in his new home; I also hope this big shift in his life at the tender age of 4 y/o will be easy for him to handle as he grows older, if....

Wondering if there will be further investigation or follow-up on this...

There should be an investigation. Did they legally adopt that child?

If so, they are not allowed to just 'rehome' him and walk away. They are legally responsible for him and for his well being.

It's not like having a box of kittens where you could give one away to anyone with a litter box and a bag of cat food.

I took my role as an adoptive mom very seriously. I can't imagine handing my 4 yr old over to someone else. It concerns me that they could do so.

 

[borndem]

There should be an investigation. Did they legally adopt that child?

If so, they are not allowed to just 'rehome' him and walk away. They are legally responsible for him and for his well being.

It's not like having a box of kittens where you could give one away to anyone with a litter box and a bag of cat food.

I took my role as an adoptive mom very seriously. I can't imagine handing my 4 yr old over to someone else. It concerns me that they could do so.

A four year old, even if severely autistic, is quite perceptive, and will certainly notice that his life has changed totally, down to the colors of the walls in a new place. Any drastic change can be a big scary deal with any child, but most autistic children depend on that sameness and those familiar patterns, and most of them crave permanence in everything and everyone around him. All of these changes, all at one fell swoop: Who are these people, where is my bed, where's my favorite toy, where is mommy and where is daddy, where are my special books, and my favorite cookies, and, and, and...
That could be severe trauma even if he's in a place that eventually will be very good for him. He's got a lot to go through to get back to where he was before this happened.

Thinking positive thoughts for little Huxley and his new home and folks... and hoping it's all his "ex-parents" (please forgive if improper) said that it is for him.
SMH

 

[gitana1]

Apparently he wasn’t given to a new family. He’s in foster care, from what I’ve been told, through the grapevine. I can’t confirm so take it with a grain of salt but I wouldn’t be surprised.

These people treated their son like a dog with serious behavioral issues.

 

[Ksprincess2]

This happens quite often, checkout second chance adoptions on Facebook. It's an agency that "rehomes" adoptive children and lists them on Facebook. It's heartbreaking but eye opening to see the number of kids on there.

 

[SaguaroSpirit]

I would personally mind my business unless I've been in their shoes. JMOO

 

[IceIce9]

YouTuber Gave Up Adopted Chinese Son With Autism After Monetizing Him Online

It's pretty gross imo that she used him in ads and pimped out this adoption, only to "rehome" him with a "forever family." What each family can handle is none of my business, but to use him for views and ads and monetize the child waxing poetic about motherhood and wouldn't change a thing, then give away - that's the part where the backlash is coming from. Hopefully he is in a good home now with the right kind of support and parents equipped to handle his needs.

Pet rescue groups have you sign an agreement to return the pet if you can no longer keep it, so they can check out any potential adoptees before it is rehomed.

I can’t believe a (child)adoption agency wouldn’t want to do the same.

 

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I normally would not judge an adoption situation - but in this case it was a crowdfunded adoption, "fans" gave money for their trip to China to get him, a special needs child was exploited for likes and clicks and sponsorships, and making money off him, that she wanted an image and sought followers with a hashtag of #autismmom, only to discard him when it feels like his needs were bigger than her "brand." imo. Just feels ick. I hope the little boy is in a good situation now with someone devoted to helping him and not for validation on instagram and YouTube.

 

[scdiv]

https://nypost.com/2020/05/29/myka-stauffer-who-is-the-youtuber-who-rehomed-her-adopted-son/

 

[Kimmer]

https://nypost.com/2020/05/29/myka-stauffer-who-is-the-youtuber-who-rehomed-her-adopted-son/

To me it reads like she has no problem giving up, hope she loses her viewers.

 

[katydid23]

I would personally mind my business unless I've been in their shoes. JMOO

My problem with her is she is an 'influencer.' She makes money 'role modelling' how she thinks others should parent. She set herself up as that role model. Calls herself a Mommy Blogger, and writes about adoption issues.

She had 4 bio children already when she adopted a special needs baby. It is extremely irresponsible to do so, if you do not plan to take that role as a forever parent, seriously.

Giving her 4 yr old up to foster care is a horrible change of events for that poor child. It is a trauma that may take him many years to recover from. IMO, She made money by exploiting his adoption, then she casually 'gave him back.'

This wasn't an unruly violent teen who was threatening her family. There are rare exceptions, where I understand the need to move a child out of the home.

But she seems to be complaining about him having tantrums and meltdowns. And says she wasn't aware of all of the difficulties that came with an autistic child. I wonder how much research they did before they agreed legally to become his parents 'forever.'

As an adoptive mom, it breaks my heart to hear her saying how 'happy he is now and how he fits so well with his new 'forever' home.' It does not ring true when she says that. In reality, he is likely being bounced around from home to home, and who knows if he will ever find a perfect fit. JMO

 

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When they were doing the adoption, they had supporters each donate $5 and there was big 1,000 piece puzzle. Every time someone donated $5, they removed a piece of the puzzle - and then revealed a photo of what the little boy looked like.

It feels like having a special needs adoption was all a part of making their brand and that they used his story as their meal ticket. When it became apparent this was going to a whole lot of work and not just a cute prop where they would get accolades and credit, they wanted to "rehome" him with a new "forever family." That's the part that's really bringing on the backlash imo. They seemed to purposely go after a "special needs" adoption story, funded by their followers, to make them look and bring them praise and attention, but not want to deal with any of the actual issues and time and therapies required to help this boy thrive. And of course, it doesn't fit with all the staged, picture perfect images.

The sad thing is they really had a platform to be more open and honest about the struggles or connect with people in similar situations. I think had they been transparent and real, and had to make this tough decision, maybe they wouldn't be seeing their brand go up in flames as badly as it is right now. They come off as caring more about themselves and an image than this child they brought into their lives then shipped off.

YouTuber "rehomes" autistic son after previously asking for $5 donations to raise him

 

[kaen]

I am not stunned or surprised. As an adoptive parent, the story is very familiar to me. The whole thing is so slimy and gross. I hope this boy finds love. I hope this woman loses her fan base and has to work a different type of job for a living. Can't say much more because it is too upsetting. I have been there and had a surprise special needs child--you work hard, you figure it out, you get your resources and you adjust because that is what parenting is--- not about adopted or biological--you learn to do what you need to do. If this boy had a life altering accident at 10, would she toss him out then? Ughhhh.

 

[SassySquatch]

Not saying she’s justified in what she did, but I would 100% rather see the child placed in a competent home, than end up like the COUNTLESS stories we have heard about children who have “gone missing” in the middle of the night. Only to find out later that they were murdered for crying, wetting the bed, stealing food, or just existing.

But that’s just my opinion.

 

[katydid23]

Not saying she’s justified in what she did, but I would 100% rather see the child placed in a competent home, than end up like the COUNTLESS stories we have heard about children who have “gone missing” in the middle of the night. Only to find out later that they were murdered for crying, wetting the bed, stealing food, or just existing.

But that’s just my opinion.

No, I agree that he shouldn't have been with that family anymore. But my anger is that he was even adopted by them in the first place. That should have never happened.

It seems he was just like a novelty, a fun new pet, that they raised money from, until his tantrums became too bothersome. I agree he is better off without them, but it is very traumatic for him to go through a disrupted adoption.

 

[Eloise]

My problem with her is she is an 'influencer.' She makes money 'role modelling' how she thinks others should parent. She set herself up as that role model. Calls herself a Mommy Blogger, and writes about adoption issues.

She had 4 bio children already when she adopted a special needs baby. It is extremely irresponsible to do so, if you do not plan to take that role as a forever parent, seriously.

Giving her 4 yr old up to foster care is a horrible change of events for that poor child. It is a trauma that may take him many years to recover from. IMO, She made money by exploiting his adoption, then she casually 'gave him back.'

This wasn't an unruly violent teen who was threatening her family. There are rare exceptions, where I understand the need to move a child out of the home.

But she seems to be complaining about him having tantrums and meltdowns. And says she wasn't aware of all of the difficulties that came with an autistic child. I wonder how much research they did before they agreed legally to become his parents 'forever.'

As an adoptive mom, it breaks my heart to hear her saying how 'happy he is now and how he fits so well with his new 'forever' home.' It does not ring true when she says that. In reality, he is likely being bounced around from home to home, and who knows if he will ever find a perfect fit. JMO

You've addressed this above, but just echoing these thoughts. It's not ideal but it's ultimately better than growing up in a home that doesn't want him. That could cause far worse trauma, or worse.

The problem was wanting a child for her brand in the first place. It should never have happened. Maybe Instagrammers/Youtubers shouldn't be allowed to adopt - or be banned from featuring the adopted child in their public work (in which case that would be the same as not allowing them to adopt because they can never resist making their childrens' lives public). Family youtubers make me sick, children (adopted, biological, whatever) should never be your meal ticket.