That was pretty much my take on the article too Insomnia Momma. This is a girl who was the only girl in family of boys once her mother passed away. Probably pretty spoiled and pampered. She doesn't appear to have had to take responsibility for anything so I don't see the "mother hen" title fitting her at all. She may have been looked up to by her younger brothers, but she didn't see a problem abandoning them by moving out a year after their mother passed away and then moving to NC because she wanted to be a grown up married woman.
She's made no attempt to get a GED or further her education in any way. She has only worked a couple of likely part time minimum wage retail jobs and she has never had to really provide for her son. She's always finding someone to take them in. JI is just the latest in a string of people who is caring for her and her son. She is a SAHM who had two children in school most of the day and one child to take care of until JI got home likely. And that child is missing.
The only example her father presented for her concern over her children was an incident that happened when she wasn't even at home watching over them. Her father was there apparently and she was hanging across the street. Maybe she went over to borrow a cup of sugar...but I doubt it. What's the attraction across the street anyway? It keeps coming up in this case. :waitasec:
And of course the one that has been pointed out in several posts, leaving her MIL's home in the middle of the night, in her vehicle without permission no less, while her young son was left sleeping in the home and she just assumed that someone would be there to take care of his needs? She's been with JI for three years so that child was 2 or under at the time this was going on.
Yeah...I didn't see that article as painting her in a very positive light...as a responsible caregiver to three young children anyway.
MOO
ITA! I was trying to convey this in my post a couple of pages back, but you did a much better job at explaining what I was thinking! LOL!
IMO - people that are only concerned with themselves, at the expense of others (even people they are supposed to be responsible for i.e. their kids) are VERY good at seeking out the next enabler/caregiver. They are just like womanizers, addicts (which could obviously be at play here as well), con artists, etc. IMO, and can spot a target a mile away.
***Again, everything below is simply my opinion, based on my personal life experiences and my own perception of the relationship between DB and JI. Not saying that it's really like this for DB and the people in her life, but that is what I'm picking up on in my observations of them. I am not a professional at detecting personality or mental disorders, so please take this as MHOO and with a grain of salt!
***
In my personal experience, it seems the usual target is someone who tends give people the benefit of the doubt, only sees the good and ignores the bad, etc. They tend to feel empathy for her (example: bad childhood, bad breakup, abusive ex, single mom, less than ideal life in general) and want to "rescue" her or in the case of a parental figure, "take her under their wing". She is usually very good at honing in on the target's emotional triggers, playing on their need to be a hero or rescuer or mother they didn't get to have.
It's hard to really understand the dynamic unless you experience it first hand, and I'm probably doing a terrible job at explaining it. But I do believe it takes two to tango in this scenario. The self-serving ones that seek out caretakers/rescuers aren't very successful without the other half of the equation. There has to be that one person or people that can only see the good and none of the bad. Or if they see the bad, it's easily explained away by the negative past experiences she had - before they came into her life of course. And she will play into that by being a victim - of her past, of society, of whatever - as long as the two roles are balanced in this way, it doesn't matter what is fact or fiction.
People only see what they are prepared to see.
As I said, I've seen this firsthand and it's very bizarre. The rescuer will defend and protect the self-server regardless of fact, logic, or reason.
In fact, it may then turn into a situation where the rescuer feels as though no one has ever stood up for her before, and this is a time that she NEEDS someone to be by her side for once. So regardless of what they believe or know, all that matters is that they continue to defend her and stand by her - to prove to her AND to themselves that they are exactly what they promised her they'd be. It's one of those strange relationship dynamics where one doesn't work without the other - at least to some degree. As long as there is someone looking to be taken care of, there will always be someone, somewhere who wants to be the caretaker.
And in this case, I believe you are right about there being a long string of people that have taken care of her, and when that situation no longer suited her needs, she moved on to the next willing person.
In my post a couple of pages back, I had mentioned that perhaps she felt she was out of options at the moment, but the stress and pressure of daily life with JI was becoming too much to deal with. And almost like a compulsion, it became a need to change the situation into something more conducive to her self-serving goals. And if she felt she had no one else to take her in, it would make sense for her to attempt to regain control over her situation by whatever means necessary.
And since she appears to have her own self-interest in mind, wanting to party or have more adult time, what would be the the first thing to go?
***Once again, this is MHO and nothing more.***
I'm not entirely certain of what has transpired with this family, and my perceptions could easily be way off base. So please understand I am just throwing this in there for discussion purposes only, and not necessarily as an accusation of guilt.
And even if all of the above were spot on, BL could have still been abducted in the middle of the night by a stranger - making this whole scenario a moot point in regards to their child being missing. Having said that, I hope I covered all the bases for everyone - regardless of which side of the fence you're on.
Thanks for reading!
