These actions are what speak volumes to me. I don't put a lot of stock in people who claim to have been the friend or the confidante and therefore know "secret" things - after all, that's SP's argument too!. Susan isn't here and can't speak to that. Probably half a dozen people think that I've "told them everything" about me and guess what, they'd be wrong! Add to that that Susan, like a lot of dv victims, was probably very judgmental of herself - and inclined to tolerate judgmental people around her, not just Josh.
At the end of the day, actions speak louder than everything. She was the better parent of the two. She was educated, she was the stable breadwinner. She moved away from the creepy father-in-law. Given her background, she seems to have done what she could to stabilize her life. She just didn't know how bad it could get.
I'm sure that whatever inner problems she struggled with are shared by a huge percentage of Utahns, to say nothing of other people. She didn't deserve to die for it or to have her memory whispered about by people who like to be the one "in the know." She deserves to live on as a cautionary tale for all young women and here it is: if you need to keep your journal at work, you need a divorce lawyer - not tomorrow, not next week, but today. It's a bad situation, not your fault, it happens - and you need to leave everything, take your kids, and go to a shelter. Your next dinner of pancakes is likely your last. Quit thinking you can fix the situation. Just quit and go.