(Mormon Attorney) what terrific insight into Jodi and the kids you work with. Such vast experience. I do see what you are saying.
Can you answer this maybe a little...When you see this and you work with the kids and it's recognized young, is there hope? What happens? If they get along without much intervention or with a family that cannot handle this, does this explain some "sociopathic" adults?
Thanks for asking - really. There is so much hope. The hardest part, honestly, is that these kids are a handful. Often, I have a really committed family and the child will really wear them out. The child can be so charming in public that no one believes the family. Or, by the time the child acts out in public, no one knows what to do.
The primary work is done in the home. But, sometimes families meet the child as this precious china doll only to get harm to animals, fecal smearing, urinating all over, harm to siblings, after the honeymoon period is over. My parents are tired and exhausted and sometimes don't get the help and support they need.
But, is there hope? I will get tears here. With my own child, I have seen so much promise. My child is very different from other kids and will always carry burdens, but my child has made SO MUCH progress. I have been sick and, recently, my child made me a caring card telling me to get well. For a child with abandonment and trust issues, that is HUGE. What is normal for other kids can be a huge victory for these kids. It is hard for them to trust and love. And, maybe my parents won't get total healing, but it is all in degrees. In the beginning, you could not trust my child with a household pet. Literally, the pet would be in big trouble. Now, my child takes joy in helping feed the pets and take care of them (with supervision). These things are huge.
If we identified JA when she was young (in this time period - not 20 years ago), there would be so much help and so much hope. Would she ever be a normal 30 year old? No, like many have shared, she would carry her own scars. But, we sure could have worked on building some attachment, some empathy, some conscience. And, I don't think it would take very much empathy or conscience to NOT do what she did.
There is tremendous hope and there is help. We just have to work to identify these kids young while there is still time for their brains to redevelop. Just like language, if you don't use it you lose it. Kids that don't form attachments often form different brain pathways. The younger we get them, the more we can work on turning that around.
Being a parent, the victories are small and the road is long, but nothing is as precious as seeing even the smallest difference, knowing that the small things are ultimately what matters most.
