2010.07.26 - Kyron Horman case featured on Dateline

[RoughlyCollie]

diagnosing her, hypothesizing whether or not she loved the boy she'd mothered from infancy, and yet the life of the biological father should not be examined for clues? That's unfathomable to me.

Did TH mother Kyron from infancy? I thought KH gained custody of Kyron when he was 2 years old.

 

[Kat010]

Whoops. I have to disagree with some posts I've read recently.

First, the year is 2010. I just checked to make sure. That means that "boys will be boys" is no longer en vogue. Nor is hanging everything on the female, nor making everything the female's responsibility.

I was going to write that so far TH has been called everything except the (edited to remove Biblical reference) but whoops! I see she's been called a (edited to remove the quoting of a word that most likely the other poster will remove, per grandmaj).

If so, KH is also morally wrong. (edited to rephrase in line with edits)

Because both of them were morally wrong. And no, it isn't a "natural thing" to blame the woman more, nor is it true that it's a "biological" thing where women keep the bond with the daddies and don't want to call them a scoundrel. There have been many women who made sure the daddies didn't get near them or the kids again, and called 'em a lot more than scouindrel, and for good reason.

Ya'll don't make me come in there now with my anti-misogeny, anti-sexist switch! Kidding. Edit--I'm thinking this is OK because I'm not calling anyone a name but am referring to cultural history and cultural frames of reference. It's a sociological thang. (If I'm wrong, I'll edit that out, too.)

For weeks TH has been painted as the GWoB, and TH as the totally great guy. Now something has lurched out of his closet, and there's no excusing it, and he has to take his lumps, too.

JMO.

 

[Adalena935]

With regard to the marriage issues of Desiree and Kaine. Have you ever heard the old saying "It all depends on whose ox is being gored"?

What it means is that two people will view the same thing in different ways depending on the depth of the viewer's self-interest.

So in this case Kaine had moved on he had a new relationship which will always make it easier to end a relationship. The old rebound. He was out of there. Desiree was pregnant and odd woman out. She felt betrayal, he had already started something new feeling the marriage was over, but maybe Desiree wasn't quite there yet.

I don't see it as anything other than two people viewing the event differently. Odd man out is going to feel that Betrayal. They are alone and hurt, while the other has someone else to make them feel good.

Two people to tango both were wrong IMO. I think this has little to do with the investigation...

It has been gossiped and rumored about and now it is out...... who cares which way it was or maybe it was somewhere in the middle and neither can let the pain of the break up let them see it in perfect light. It isn't going to help find Kyron.

It may point to the weaknesses of the people. Maybe it even points to Kaine being blind to what was really happening with Terri.... how sad for him now. Instead of it being a gradual less severe outcome his life is in turmoil finding out his wife had allegedly tried to take a hit out on him, at the same time his child is missing. He is out working with LE to find his child while his current wife, the one he chose over his child's mother is sitting there sexting.

I feel badly for both bio parents. Their guilt for not reacting or noticing or knowing is overwhelming. And at least at this point they have come to terms with each other enough to work together for Kyron's sake.

bbm

Well said. I've always thought she duped him sufficiently. Course it wasn't so apparent until poor little Kyron vanished from her supposed care. I so wish they'd find him.

 

[RR0004]

re: Desiree rushing to Portland

In the situations in which a similar thing happened, there were steps taken, though. No one was immediately unhinged to the point of inaction. Let's hypothesize for a moment that Terri is innocent. Kyron lived with Terri, she was his primary caretaker, and in her mind, in that moment, she was handling it. I'm not saying she wasn't worried, or shouldn't have been worried under the circumstances, but even Kaine believed that initially Kyron was confused and waiting at school. If Terri is innocent, then she knew he'd been at the school that day, and what the school was saying didn't make sense to her, so she may not have been as immediately as alarmed as you would think. She may have believed the school was confused and assumed Kyron was inside the school somewhere. For that reason, not realizing the true gravity of the situation, I can understand how Terri might be flustered by Desiree rushing to the school. In that moment, if Terri is innocent and she knew for a fact Kyron had been at school despite a teacher marking him absent, she may have been confused and worried but not thinking he had been abducted and possibly murdered.

Honestly, if she'd been hysterical and urging Desiree to come right away because something was obviously terribly, horribly wrong, then there would be a lot of discussion about why she immediately jumped to that conclusion.

The parents seemingly agreed that Kyron had trouble following directions. It is Kaine who assumed, based on his knowledge of Kyron and the situation, that Kyron's absence from the school bus could have been attributable to Kyron becoming confused about the day. Had something similar happened before? Or was Kyron known to confuse directions? These are questions worth asking, IMHO. In the process of asking these types of questions, the truth may out.

...but that's why they went to the school, no?

I can see how that might have happened...except now...knowing that TH appeared to the rest to be put off having to answer questions...just when was she going to realize this was serious?

 

[goatman]

Did TH mother Kyron from infancy? I thought KH gained custody of Kyron when he was 2 years old.

IIRC From what I understand it is a convoluted mess, DY had him, gave KH temporary custody, got him back and was still ill, gave him back to KH and then decided that that was the best place for him even after she got well. And that this was finalized at about 2 years of age (Kyron)

Again above is IIRC, will edit if need be.

 

[grandmaj]

Everyone go back and take out name calling.... Names are not allowed...... Thanks. I can only hold my hand over for my face so long......... take out the names before I have to please.

 

[mydailyopinions]

Honestly, for some reason, it does seem important to me. From my understanding, DY has maintained that she didn't like TH, trust TH, and that Kyron wanted to live with her. However, when push came to shove she talked to TH and not KH, and from what I understand they were standing right next to each other and she knew this. While, I am unsure about whether or not it indicates anything...I just feel it is important to note. Maybe it is unimportant to others, or read differently by others. But for whatever reason (which I haven't been able to articulate) it does seem important to me.

It doesn't seem strange to me, but then again I am a stepmother who "used" to get calls all the time from my stepson's mother, no matter what it was, she preferred to talk to me..I am assuming it was just because from a motherly standpoint we kind of understood one another...even though my husband would be sitting right there.

 

[evelyn24]

To be honest that was pretty obvious.

And yet she supposedly told the Landscaper that Kaine had hurt her by havin an affair.

Its funny..what goes around comes around.

Yes it was, despite TH's mom trying to make her seem like Florence Nightingale.

 

[goatman]

Everyone go back and take out name calling.... Names are not allowed...... Thanks.

Kyron's name or like rude names? I am confused.

 

[grandmaj]

Name calling...... Rude, descriptive, less than flattering, name variations..... all of it.

 

[RR0004]

Grandmaj...whose names?

ETA: gotcha

 

[Sherbie]

I think the program was enlightening, though of course I wish we could've heard from LE. Thanks everyone for the good conversation tonight. Pleasant dreams!

 

[cypress]

Did TH mother Kyron from infancy? I thought KH gained custody of Kyron when he was 2 years old.

I wasn't referring to her being his primary caretaker from infancy. Kyron went to live full-time with Kaine when he was around two years old, but Terri was in his life from birth; the latter is what I was referencing when I stated that she mothered him (versus being his primary caretaker). That's just my choice of words to distinguish between the two roles.

 

[Kat010]

SteelyDan, sorry I was unclear. No, I didn't mean that TH's family, esp. the mom, should be allowed to go rushing right over to take baby K. for a day in the park.

What I meant was at some point supervised visits, and most importantly, that long term, that child will need all her family. I don't know when that point is.

And I'd like to see her have a chance to have influences other than KH. My own family tree has its share of nuts (but no criminals) and the kids always benefited from finally getting a wider perspective. JMO, of course.

 

[bessie]

My ten year-old nephew is visiting us for a few weeks. He walked into the living room tonight while my husband and I were watching Dateline. The image of Kyron and the red-eyed tree frog caught his attention, and he asked what the show was about. I explained that the little boy in the photo lives in Oregon, and he has been missing for a couple of months. At the same time, footage of the family press conference was shown, and he followed with more questions about who was who. I identified the four adults and their respective relationships to Kyron without further comment because I was trying to listen to the program. When the clip ended, my nephew declared, "She's faking!" "Huh? What? Who? Why do you say that?", my husband and I inquired. "Well...the stepmother was crying and looked really sad. But then she kinda looked up at the 'real' mom like she wanted to see if she was watching her. And then she started crying again. It just looked weird."

Out of the mouths of babes.

 

[gwenabob]

It doesn't seem strange to me, but then again I am a stepmother who "used" to get calls all the time from my stepson's mother, no matter what it was, she preferred to talk to me..I am assuming it was just because from a motherly standpoint we kind of understood one another...even though my husband would be sitting right there.

I think that is because the Moms, generally, are the detail people. The ones who keep the calendar, and know all the nitty gritty details that keep the families running. My husband couldn't tell you 90% of the details I keep track of--appointments, school project deadlines, food likes and dislikes, clothing sizes, sports and other activity schedules. Some dads might be able to do that, but I think it is usually the mom's who have been delegated to be the detail parent.

 

[RoughlyCollie]

... hypothesizing whether or not she loved the boy she'd mothered from infancy, and yet the life of the biological father should not be examined for clues? That's unfathomable to me.

Did TH mother Kyron from infancy? I thought he went to live with KH & TH when he was two years old.

 

[Adalena935]

Whoops. I have to disagree with some posts I've read recently.

First, the year is 2010. I just checked to make sure. That means that "boys will be boys" is no longer en vogue. Nor is hanging everything on the female, nor making everything the female's responsibility.

I was going to write that so far TH has been called everything except the Great of Babylon, but whoops! I see she's been called a harlot.

If so, KH is too.

Because both of them were morally wrong. And no, it isn't a "natural thing" to blame the woman more, nor is it true that it's a "biological" thing where women keep the bond with the daddies and don't want to call them a scoundrel. There have been many women who made sure the daddies didn't get near them or the kids again, and called 'em a lot more than scouindrel, and for good reason.

Ya'll don't make me come in there now with my anti-misogeny, anti-sexist switch! Kidding.

For weeks TH has been painted as the GWoB, and TH as the totally great guy. Now something has lurched out of his closet, and there's no excusing it, and he has to take his lumps, too.

JMO.

It's that I've long suspected she did something terrible to Kyron and caused his disappearance whereas the Father did not I don't believe. He's only 7. I'm puzzled about the worry over the one adult who is last known to have him (the stepmother). She is not a victim, Kyron is in my opinion.

She'll get her fair trial and he will probably never be found. I believe she knows his whereabouts and diabolically keeps it from his parents and the state. Such a crime is foremost against the victim; Kyron a 7 yr old child. But it is also a crime against all of society. That's why we as a society have laws against it (kidnapping) and have long declared this is how we all shall live.

kidnapping & maybe worse of a child v. cheating between adults there is no comparison

 

[daisy7]

Does anyone have a link to watch the show on-line? TIA!

 

[Adalena935]

It doesn't seem strange to me, but then again I am a stepmother who "used" to get calls all the time from my stepson's mother, no matter what it was, she preferred to talk to me..I am assuming it was just because from a motherly standpoint we kind of understood one another...even though my husband would be sitting right there.

That's easy to understand. Thank you for that input.