2010.07.26 - Kyron Horman case featured on Dateline

[Susan10]

The weirdest thing Desiree said is that TH seemed surprised she'd be coming up there right away. What the hades parent wouldn't??!! I would be creeped out if the mother didn't want to get there asap.

TH was surprised because she couldn't identify with DY's feelings about Kyron. TH was probably surprised that everyone was getting so upset. She is constitutionally incapable of having feelings of compassion for another human being, be it man, woman, or child imo. There is one person in TH's world and that is TH. Everyone else, in her mind, exists to serve her. And God help you should you ever cross her in her mind.

 

[AvalonBlue]

Unpopular opinion ahead, but if Terri had nothing to do with Kyron's disappearance and assumed he'd wandered off or that there had been a mix-up but he would be found quickly, then it might make sense for Terri to wonder why Desiree would rush to Portland. This attitude actually supports the notion that Terri is innocent, IMHO, because she didn't automatically jump to worst case scenario, which she would've done if she'd known he was dead.

What if Kyron's visits to Desiree's weren't as frequent as we're being led to believe, and what if Desiree and Tony weren't quite as involved in Kyron's life as many assume. It might explain why Terri may have been surprised that Desiree would suddenly drop everything, especially if that wasn't her usual MO when dealing with Kyron.

IMHO, Terri's surprise about Desiree rushing to Portland has to do with Terri's diagnosis (rule in/rule out Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder) because she didn't automatically jump to worst case scenario (like any other scared and terrified parent would -- because she couldn't conceive that anyone else would. That's classic aberrant behavior.

I don't believe Terri is capable of understanding a true emergency due to her disorder. I believe, as so many others have posted, that Terri actually believed she had gotten away with her scheme -- and that no one would suspect her of any wrong doing -- that it was the school's fault for "losing" Kyron, because after all, she had reported that the school was the last place she had seen him.

Ultimate goal IMO -- something along the lines of winning a lawsuit against the school, maybe/maybe not following through on "offing" Kaine at a later date -- and if she "offed" him then getting money for her and Baby K and not having to share any with Ky and Desiree. She would be free, have money, etc.

All my own speculation, opinion, and experience with personality disordered people.

 

[Kat010]

Night, peeps, thanks for the good discussions. I'm about asleep as I type!

 

[SuziQ]

Whoops. I have to disagree with some posts I've read recently.

First, the year is 2010. I just checked to make sure. That means that "boys will be boys" is no longer en vogue. Nor is hanging everything on the female, nor making everything the female's responsibility.

I was going to write that so far TH has been called everything except the (edited to remove Biblical reference) but whoops! I see she's been called a (edited to remove the quoting of a word that most likely the other poster will remove, per grandmaj).

If so, KH is also morally wrong. (edited to rephrase in line with edits)

Because both of them were morally wrong. And no, it isn't a "natural thing" to blame the woman more, nor is it true that it's a "biological" thing where women keep the bond with the daddies and don't want to call them a scoundrel. There have been many women who made sure the daddies didn't get near them or the kids again, and called 'em a lot more than scouindrel, and for good reason.

Ya'll don't make me come in there now with my anti-misogeny, anti-sexist switch! Kidding. Edit--I'm thinking this is OK because I'm not calling anyone a name but am referring to cultural history and cultural frames of reference. It's a sociological thang. (If I'm wrong, I'll edit that out, too.)

For weeks TH has been painted as the GWoB, and TH as the totally great guy. Now something has lurched out of his closet, and there's no excusing it, and he has to take his lumps, too.

JMO.

It's not a male vs female thing to me. In case you missed my point. TH told a pretty big fib to quite a few people that painted herself in a better light. Now IMO, the difference here between KH and TH is KH didn't cause the disappearance of his son. It's TH's character I'm interested in right now. If the situation were reveresed you don't think we'd be all over KH?

 

[RoughlyCollie]

If Kyron is found safely (and god I hope so), I'm not sure changing the custody situation immediately is the best thing for him. He needs to have his routine and comfort zone back. Yanking him away from his dad, his friends, his teachers, his bedroom, etc. could do more harm than good.

He'll probably want his Mom -- his real Mom. That's pretty standard, even for grown-up Marines wounded in battle.

 

[grandmaj]

Daisy I would imagine it won't be posted until after the West Coasters see it on television. Just ten minutes into the show Pacific time.

 

[Emma Peel]

<respectfully snipped>

I feel badly for both bio parents. Their guilt for not reacting or noticing or knowing is overwhelming. And at least at this point they have come to terms with each other enough to work together for Kyron's sake.

I agree with this part. They feel guilty. And have come together in their guilt. Taken all the anger they may harbor for each other and directed it at Terri. For Kyron.

Okay, now I'm talking myself out of agreeing with that even.

I guess I see no reason to invent excuses for insensitive selfish men who live with their pregnant wife, purport to support them by attending childbirth classes, and choose that time to sleep around behind their backs.

IMO, a spade's a spade on this one.

What does it have to do with Kyron? Like the Cummings family ... just about everything.

It has to do with the toxic cloud these people made for the child to try to negotiate his life through. It has to do with Terri going emotionally wackadoodle and taking it out on Kyron.

Will it matter in court? Only as it impeaches Terri's character... And if possible ... in defense of her crime of passion.

And isn't that ironic.

 

[gibby207]

I'm just starting to watch Dateline, but I just wanna say, and please ignore if you don't like it: Terri Horman. You may have wished he'd be forgotten, but we won't forget. I won't forget Kyron.

 

[Adalena935]

Such a tragic case. Kyron come home.

 

[Steely Dan]

My ten year-old nephew is visiting us for a few weeks. He walked into the living room tonight while my husband and I were watching Dateline. The image of Kyron and the red-eyed tree frog caught his attention, and he asked what the show was about. I explained that the little boy in the photo lives in Oregon, and he has been missing for a couple of months. At the same time, footage of the family press conference was shown, and he followed with more questions about who was who. I identified the four adults and their respective relationships to Kyron without further comment because I was trying to listen to the program. When the clip ended, my nephew declared, "She's faking!" "Huh? What? Who? Why do you say that?", my husband and I inquired. "Well...the stepmother was crying and looked really sad. But then she kinda looked up at the 'real' mom like she wanted to see if she was watching her. And then she started crying again. It just looked weird."

Out of the mouths of babes.

Get that kid into the police academy as soon as he graduates.

Does anyone have a link to watch the show on-line? TIA!

It will most likely be posted to the dateline web site tomorrow. JMO

 

[gibby207]

Can I also just throw in there because I just started to watch, but IMO Kaine holds a lot of guilt toward Desiree (not bad guilt but our son was lost on my watch guilt).... I feel horrible watching this already. I have a lot of anger, which makes me a serial lurker. LOL

 

[grandmaj]

I agree with this part. They feel guilty. And have come together in their guilt. Taken all the anger they may harbor for each other and directed it at Terri. For Kyron.

Okay, now I'm talking myself out of agreeing with that even.

I guess I see no reason to invent excuses for insensitive selfish men who live with their pregnant wife, purport to support them by attending childbirth classes, and choose that time to sleep around behind their backs.

IMO, a spade's a spade on this one.

What does it have to do with Kyron? Like the Cummings family ... just about everything.

It has to do with the toxic cloud these people made for the child to try to negotiate his life through. It has to do with Terri going emotionally wackadoodle and taking it out on Kyron.

Will it matter in court? Only as it impeaches Terri's character... And if possible ... in defense of her crime of passion.

And isn't that ironic.

I don't disagree with your post. I don't condone what Kaine did. I believe our own moral values or lack there of, do affect our children.

But we are past that now. The difference between KH and the Cummings family is that it is my belief Kaine is proactive in cooperating with LE in the hopes of bringing his child home.

 

[Kat010]

I agree with this part. They feel guilty. And have come together in their guilt. Taken all the anger they may harbor for each other and directed it at Terri. For Kyron.

Okay, now I'm talking myself out of agreeing with that even.

I guess I see no reason to invent excuses for insensitive selfish men who live with their pregnant wife, purport to support them by attending childbirth classes, and choose that time to sleep around behind their backs.

IMO, a spade's a spade on this one.

What does it have to do with Kyron? Like the Cummings family ... just about everything.

It has to do with the toxic cloud these people made for the child to try to negotiate his life through. It has to do with Terri going emotionally wackadoodle and taking it out on Kyron.

Will it matter in court? Only as it impeaches Terri's character... And if possible ... in defense of her crime of passion.

And isn't that ironic.

Excellent post, deserves more than a thanks click. "Toxic" is a good word for this miasma.

 

[Susan10]

That had to be an odd living arrangement, staying in the same house til the baby was born and knowing there was a third party involved.

yea, bet there wasn't much hugging going on in them days. Doubt if I would or could ever warm up or trust a person who did that to me. And being 8 months pregnant at the time. It says a lot about KY even being able to be in the same room with TH.

 

[Steely Dan]

The show should be up in full sometime soon I'd think here; http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/

 

[gibby207]

I read back a few posts... and just started watching Dateline, but... I hope yawl don't ever have the opportunity or misfortune to delve into our family's past. We aren't The Cleavers. lol

 

[lillys]

Can I also just throw in there because I just started to watch, but IMO Kaine holds a lot of guilt toward Desiree (not bad guilt but our son was lost on my watch guilt).... I feel horrible watching this already. I have a lot of anger, which makes me a serial lurker. LOL

lol, I couldn't tell if Kaine felt guilt or was mad.:waitasec: I imagine they were both stressed beyond belief before the interview even started. I thought it was strange how Kaine was absent during the last half of the interview. Strange to because the 2nd half revolved around Desiree yet Kyron lived with his dad for the past 5 years iirc.

 

[Wrinkles]

I have to disagree. I can't imagine being told my child was missing and not getting there as quickly as humanly possible. I wouldn't wait around to find out whether it was the worst case scenario before going.

I can't believe anyone would get a call like that and not move like lightning to get there. To me, Terri's reluctance for Desiree to come could just as easily (and to me, more likely) have been because it would make things more difficult for her.

Greetings Sherbie,

I haven't had the opportunity to tell you that I appreciate reading you...I'll take it now. Thanks for the above.

I would like to back your above play by saying that "not my child," but a dear girlfriend was in trouble last week... My daughter phoned and said, "Mom did you know that..." -- and she informed me that my girlfriend, who I love and who lives a 4 hour drive away, was having a medical problem and being transferred to the hospital by ambulance. I was immediately ready to pack the cat, my bag, lock up the house and run to my friend UNTIL I remembered that I had no car (in the shop!) Even though I HATE long distance driving and am quite the hermit, I was ready to kick into motion JUST BECAUSE my friend was noted to be in some kind of health problem. Fortunately, I knew my dear husband was running to my friend at the hospital (and almost at ER) and that my daughter (an RN) was amped/on call and ready to go to advocate too (she did go later to evaluate). I sat at command central, making scads of calls everywhere, learning/informing, my friend's husband, my husband, our friends/daughter, her kids, etc. and was ready to rent a car if I thought anyone was missing a beat.

Bottomline, the above was about a medical emergency for a friend. I knew my friend was alive and I knew my emissaries were in place, I knew my friend was getting medical care. IF this had been my 7 year old grandson, reported as missing for hours, there wouldn't have been a thing on earth that would have prevented me -- emissaries or not -- from getting to where he was last seen AND I am "only" grandmother.

I am gobsmacked to hear that Terri might have wondered at Desiree heading to where her son was last seen (how do we know if this is true?) IF there is any truth to Terri wondering why Desiree headed to the school where Kyron was last seen, this would be yet another pointer to me that Terri is in outer space (not unlike FB happy faces, poking considerations, and all together lack of "normal" responses when given opportunity).

 

[gibby207]

lol, I couldn't tell if Kaine felt guilt or was mad.:waitasec: I imagine they were both stressed beyond belief before the interview even started. I thought it was strange how Kaine was absent during the last half of the interview. Strange to because the 2nd half revolved around Desiree yet Kyron lived with his dad for the past 5 years iirc.

IMO... He looked at Desiree with very sad eyes. She didn't seem to be suspicious of him, but his eyes looked like he felt horrible for the situation that he put them in. IOW, he feels like an idiot now and feels guilty, yet Desiree is NOT blaming Kaine. All MOO. (This is early on... I just started watching, I'm Pacific time. lol)

 

[ZL27]

To heck with driving 4+ hours, I would have commandeered a helicopter.