2010.08.18 - Dede's ex-Boyfriend describes her

[Kat010]

clean garages might go along with a single woman's new town home. Not much in the way of tools or machinery, exterior maintenance supplies, even lawnmower required...

portion-controlled home-cooked weekly menu of food in containers might go along with a strict diet regimen.

organization is a good thing, I think.

I don't think any of the above, points to OCD per se.

Gosh my mom is soooooo clean and neat and organized but ... that is just her way. She's also slow & careful, thoughtful and meticulous. We tease her, but what a comfortable clean, organized and welcoming home us 5 kids grew up in!

JHMO

Me, too. I don't find it obsessive that she "carefully wrapped" and returned his picture to him. Maybe it was one of his favorites from something special in his life. It's not unusual to return things to ex's.

As far as the clean garage floors, so? One of my BFFs keeps a house that looks like a museum, and you could eat off the floors, ceilings, walls. That's just her. (Oh, how I envy her sometimes. No, wait, I don't.)

The food thing? Many many dieting and organizational types recommend doing just that. Cook on Sunday, then portion it out. Some to freezer, some to fridge, etc. I had one friend who did that every Sunday, and brought her lunch every day to work with us, all in her Tupperware container. The only time it varies was a) going out with office or b) when she assembled a salad and/or veggie tray the night before.

JMO. Tidy and organized doesn't equal OCD. If so, there may be a lot of professional organizers out there who are going undiagnosed, ahem. And I doubt that.

Plus, you can live messy and be OCD. OCD can focus on certain things, and ignore others.

 

[Etilema]

My fondest wish is to be "clean, neat, and organized." Sigh.

And a note about OCD...it's not simply being clean and neat. OCD is, from what I understand, a way to create control over something. A person who has OCD may count things; having a certain number of X makes it so that Y won't occur. Or handwash; if I wash for three minutes, I will never get run over by a bus.

OCD is a very, very misunderstood disease. On one hand, we have people "wishing" they had it, so they could be clean and neat (like me wishing...). We have society saying be organized, be consistent, be focused and be disciplined. I have instructors at nursing school who tell us to be more OCD...and I always say, "no thanks...that's an illness I don't want to have."

I guess I'm saying that being a clean/neat freak does not have much to do with OCD...because the underlying reason for it is very different, as are the behaviors. A clean and neat person may just be methodical, and habitual, but if their habits are broken or something interrupts their "methodical-ness", their life can go on. An OCD person is a prisoner of their illness, and cannot function well (if at all) if they do not do their ritualistic behavior(s).

There is nothing wrong with being clean and neat. There is also nothing "wrong" with having OCD - it's an illness, and with proper treatment, people can live well. As a poster said upthread, I wish people understood mental illness better, but that's for a different thread, I suppose.

Best-
Herding Cats

Yes, people often confuse OCD with Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder. OCD is basically an anxiety disorder; it is characterized by intrusive unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and ritualistic behavior (compulsions). A classic example of a compulsion is repetitive hand-washing, or counting things, or "checking" (like making sure the door is locked or the stove is turned off). Both the obsessions and the compulsions interfere with normal activities, and can be bad enough to almost cripple a person. (And they may not be clean and neat at all--hoarding is considered to be a from of OCD!)

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder involves being extremely rigidly organized, methodical, and controlling, to the point that it interferes with life and relationships. (I think when people say they wish they had OCD, they are really thinking of this, and they mean that they'd like just a touch of these tendencies, not the whole personality disorder!)

 

[Etilema]

Me, too. I don't find it obsessive that she "carefully wrapped" and returned his picture to him. Maybe it was one of his favorites from something special in his life. It's not unusual to return things to ex's.

As far as the clean garage floors, so? One of my BFFs keeps a house that looks like a museum, and you could eat off the floors, ceilings, walls. That's just her. (Oh, how I envy her sometimes. No, wait, I don't.)

The food thing? Many many dieting and organizational types recommend doing just that. Cook on Sunday, then portion it out. Some to freezer, some to fridge, etc. I had one friend who did that every Sunday, and brought her lunch every day to work with us, all in her Tupperware container. The only time it varies was a) going out with office or b) when she assembled a salad and/or veggie tray the night before.

JMO. Tidy and organized doesn't equal OCD. If so, there may be a lot of professional organizers out there who are going undiagnosed, ahem. And I doubt that.

Plus, you can live messy and be OCD. OCD can focus on certain things, and ignore others.

I was more struck by the fact that all these details about her being clean and neat and careful were appealing to the boyfriend than that she might have been that way.

JMO

 

[cluciano63]

Since we are already OT, let me wrap it up with my brother, who has OCD/OCPD and is affected to the extent that he has only left the house in the past 25 or so years in the middle of the night, to go to all-night grocery to get his food. He only does that because he can't eat anthing that has been touched by others (obviously the packers, etc. have touched it, but that does no factor into his way of thinking). But he also has the compulsive cleaning part, with a regimented rota of what he cleans at what time, which days, etc. Kept a very nice house for my Mom until she passed away, have to say. (My other unmarried brother lives with him, although he probably would be OK alone if necessary.) But having the disease and/or disorder can be very limiting, it all depends upon degree.

As far as this beautiful farm, it is horrifying to even imagine Kyron being anywhere similar, yet LE keeps focusing on these types of heavily wooded/vegetated areas...

 

[Jade2010]

I give him kudos on his volunteer work for advocacy of children and am very relieved to hear he is never around them in this volunteer capacity.

 

[aprilheeler]

I think it is unusual that although the writing is so immature and disjointed and rambling, for the most part his spelling, grammar, and mechanics are pretty good. In my experience those things do not often go together.

JMO

As I read it, I got the distinct impression that he was scripting his voiceover for a true crime show.

 

[raeann]

I have never disagreed with anyone on this forum in the three years I've been a member, but I must do it now. And I do respect your opinion.

I suffer from OCD. Please let me tell you that murder,dirty deeds, planning something bad IS NOT a sign or symptom of OCD.

Not that I am in any way assigned to speak for Abbie.....but I really believe that she meant not to imply that someone with OCD would be inclined do to such a thing. Instead, I believe that it was meant to say that someone with OCD might be more inclined to plan out ANY kind of task meticulously and carry it out successfully without error or messiness of any kind. JMO, of course,

 

[pdx]

I don't understand how he says 'She would just talk to her friends on the phone' when Dede tweets a couple of times about how much she hates talking on the phone. :waitasec:

 

[BeanE]

The search for Kyron: What DeDe Spicher's ex has to say
Story Updated: Aug 19, 2010 at 3:31 PM PDT


Wishert said Spicher was incredibly accountable to her cell phone, so reports that she was unreachable at certain times on June 4, the day Kyron disappeared, do strike him as strange.

"It was so unlike her to not answer her cell phone," he said. "And then to not account for it. Why would you not account for it if you're straight up, if you've got nothing to hide?"

When asked whether he knew that Spicher knew Terri, he said no, saying Terri may have been part of her larger network of friends, not all of whom he knew.

Wishert said he believes Spicher's loyal nature may have prompted her to help Terri somehow, but not in a way that would involve harm to a child, and that Spicher comes from a good family and was raised right.

"If DeDe was involved and if she was involved from the onset, then Kyron Horman is still alive," Wishert said.

"I knew her very, very well," he added. "She never got ugly. I never saw a mean side to her. I never saw a vindictive side to her."

One of the tips Wishert said he shared with investigators was related to Spicher's aunt's property, which searchers have already scoured for clues. The other relates to something he chose not to discuss because he believes it is an investigative matter still pending.

http://www.katu.com/news/local/101101779.html

 

[21merc7]

that person in VA is not him (much younger, photo doesn't match)

Thanks, will delete original post. Anyone that quoted, please edit those things out of my original post also. Don't want to contribute to rumor or any time outs or bannings. :blowkiss:

Can we "sleuth" him though?

 

[miabellamoure]

Those are very nice letters of recommendation on his website. I am now wanting a new fence, built by Jason, and over lemonade we shall chit chat about old girlfriends and such.

If you need help making a list of topic's to narrow in on...I'm sure many here can help you with that...lol!

 

[Oriah]

Thank you for this link, i.b. Reading through the letters I noticed that Jason is also....a landscaper.

Make. The landscapers. Stop.

 

[loves2bmom]

KATU saying interview with boyfriend at 5:00 if you'd like to watch him in action....

http://www.katu.com/news/live

 

[RubyRed]

well i dunno, i think it may have affected his chances of getting another girlfriend... You know, an ad on the craigslist: "are you looking for a wm, about 40, gsoh, good at building planting boxes, works 15 hours a day but is broke, will dump you if you become unemployed, depressed or gain weight, and if you're in some trouble after the break up, will tell all your secrets for the oregonian and show your letters on tv. Don't miss this chance! Let me be the first and last man in your life!"

lol, lol

 

[Emma Peel]

Make. The landscapers. Stop.

I know. But Kimster keeps promising me that all of these landscaper coinkidinks are par for the course in the pacific coast areas.

(I keep forgetting Kimster's a "green" alien, and these landscapers probably all fell outta her spacecraft, and they're taking over the planet whilst she makes sure we sleuths don't figure it out...) :alien:

 

[Oriah]

I know. But Kimster keeps promising me that all of these landscaper coinkidinks are par for the course in the pacific coast areas.

(I keep forgetting Kimster's a "green" alien, and these landscapers probably all fell outta her spacecraft, and they're taking over the planet whilst she makes sure we sleuths don't figure it out...) :alien:

I think Kimster is also providing these aliens with birkenstocks and other appropriate PNW attire, so that they may comfortably multiply while on earth....


Kimster :blowkiss:

 

[DairyGirl]

KATU saying interview with boyfriend at 5:00 if you'd like to watch him in action....

http://www.katu.com/news/live

What happened to his decision not to do any more media interviews?

 

[cindysue]

Make. The landscapers. Stop.

Somehow i have developed a very debilitating fear of landscapers !!!

 

[RubyRed]

What happened to his decision not to do any more media interviews?

This guy it priceless, isn't he?

 

[i.b.nora]

He knew her for ten months, they dated for two months. Did I hear that right?