Adult Children Abandoning Parents at Hotels

[shana]

I wish I had the opportunity this night, once again, to pull my Mother's little socks on her feet. Some 30 years ago, as we sat together in an auditorium taking a class at UCLA Extension, I had passed her a note saying, "How come I didn't get your little feet and instead I have Dad's?"

My parents never put a financial burden on me for their care, so I can post the above little story, with fondness.

As to the OP article, one thought comes to mind: Better to drop them off at a motel than to consider harsher alternatives. Need I say more?

Blessings to all who care for their parents as our parents did for us, when the question was simple and unencumbered by issues which had arisen during our lives. I *do* get it. There's just such a range of possibilities here...

 

[Nova]

omg! How low! How does one face themselves after abandoning their parents? I would end up killing myself if I bailed on my mother.

Though I have told my son I don't want him "taking me in" when I get old. Taking care of my inlaws and my mother have taught me that while I am doing the right thing- I find myself wanting to pull my hair out of my head 10 times before 11 am. I sometimes fear by the time they die I might hate them. I know in my logical mind that I won't (they are my family and I love them but sometimes, ya know?) but to fear it is enough. I feel we owe our parents- I wish I didn't because a child doesn't owe their parent their entire lifetime. I want my son to know that cuz I can't stand the thought of him feeling about me what I feel for them when I'm old. I want us to remain friendly.. I don't want to make him want to poke his eyes out of his head lol.

You are obviously a saint! And please believe I mean that, no sarcasm here.

In my remarks above, I never meant to take anything away from the many wonderful people who are caring for their elderly parents. Such caregivers deserve not only our admiration, but greater public support.

 

[Nova]

Nova - I am continually struck by how wise you are. Seriously. I enjoy your posts very much and they always give me so much food for thought. I have been learning a great deal from you and I wanted you to know that I appreciate it.

The admiration is entirely mutual! :blowkiss:

 

[Nova]

But you wouldn't send her away?

Mine came to live with me when her husband finally smoked all her money into his crack pipe, crashed her car and then killed himself (thus, her losing his social security check $) I mean who could turn their mom away??

No, I probably wouldn't. And I certainly wouldn't abandon her in some strange place.

I'm very lucky that my mother lives 3,000 miles away and I have a wonderful aunt and cousin who help her, despite the fact that she abuses them at every turn. (Much of her bad behavior is due to the Alzheimer's and, of course, one can't blame her for that. The problem is that the behavior isn't all that different from the way she always acted.)

 

[OneLostGrl]

You are obviously a saint! And please believe I mean that, no sarcasm here.

In my remarks above, I never meant to take anything away from the many wonderful people who are caring for their elderly parents. Such caregivers deserve not only our admiration, but greater public support.

I know you meant nothing but what you said in your post above. I have been posting with you and reading your posts long enough to know you have a huge heart and mean just what you say.

Our mothers sound like twins, btw LOL

 

[rosario]

this is a hard situation, however, i know icould not live with myself "abondoning" anyone...but my husband is one of three boys so all of the "sons" look to their spouses to handle their parents, its really hard when were left "as the wives" to deal with everything with our own parents and theirs...just my situation....god bless everyone with difficult situations....