All Things Britney Spears Part 1

[Boyzmomee]

I didn't say it was the norm, just that it was my norm and it is the norm for more than few others. I know/knew some relatively mature 20-year-olds, but I'd say the vast majority of 20-year-olds are just trying to figure it out and don't truly have the life perspective to put things into place.

And I doubt many 20-year-olds (even the "mature" ones) would stand much of a chance at all with millions of dollars at their disposal and people fawning all over them. It's not normal or easy to have the sort of life Britney does - and even if she wanted to leave it, I doubt she knows enough yet to know how to do that.

As for me, I'm delighted that I was a 20-year-old who tried anything and everything her heart desired. It has helped me become a satisfied 40-year-old who knows the meaning of what she's got and who no longer has the need to sniff around trying to fill herself with things that don't matter.

Yes, my empathy for the "Britneys" of this world comes from a place of experience. Long live wild women! - may we live to find daylight and keep growing towards the sun.

Your "empathy" should be for the children, not an immature, self centerd woman.

Once one chooses to become a parent, it's time to grow up and stop indulging oneself.

 

[browneyes]

I absolutely feel sorry for those precious children. I've got several years on Britney, so I may not be "qualified" to comment on this, but I just don't see how she can behave in such a way that would jeopardize her custody of them. Now I am not one of those people who think that once you have a child(ren) that you have to sit at home and crochet and quit being who you are or quit your hobbies/interests. Maybe scale down some in some areas, say drinking and partying, lol. I like to have a drinky every now and then and if I weren't so fat and tired, maybe would like to go out dancing every now and then. But SEVERAL times a week? No.

Honestly, my and dh's world revolves around our son and I was probably one of the most selfish people on the planet before. It was "all about me". Not anymore, it's all about him. Dh and I are wanting to go on a trip for our anniversary but I can't stand the thought of leaving him for more than overnight.

Sorry, didn't mean to turn this into a gush-fest for my son, but it just baffles me at how she just doesn't seem to put their needs ahead of her own. I agree with southcitymom that she's sowing some wild oats (my interpretation) and that her every move is scrutinized. But she's 26, not 18 and has 2 children to raise. Time for her to grow up.

Shopper, my kids are grown (22 & 25) and they are still my world. I love them so much.

 

[southcitymom]

Your "empathy" should be for the children, not an immature, self centerd woman.

Once one chooses to become a parent, it's time to grow up and stop indulging oneself.

Today I don't have much time or interest in what I "should" feel. I spent too much of my life caring about that and it never brought me any happiness, peace or insight into who I am and what I'm doing here. I am only interested in what I do feel.

As it stands in this situation, I have empathy for the lot - Britney, Kevin, the children, and their respective families. I don't have more empathy for one being and less empathy for another - I can't even get my head around that way of thinking. The nature of my empathic feelings is catholic.

I've seen/read nothing that makes me think the children aren't being cared for by competent nannies/family members when their respective parents aren't with them.

Do the children have an ideal situation? I don't know. It's not the situation I chose for myself, but neither is it a situation that screams abuse, IMHO.

While it sounds lovely and noble to say, "Once you become a parent, you need to grow up and stop indulging yourself" and while there is truth on the surface of that statement and it is something to strive towards, I deal in realities and not platitudes. My reality is that I've never - not once in my whole life - met a perfect parent, though of course I have met some who seem more effective in that role than others.

The child inside of me who was not parented perfectly feels enormous empathy for the children. The mother inside of me who does not parent perfectly feels enormous empathy for Britney. My house is glass, from top to bottom, so instead of throwing stones, I try to send prayers to all of us who are doing the best we can in spite of our wounds.

 

[Utopia]

The child inside of me who was not parented perfectly feels enormous empathy for the children. The mother inside of me who does not parent perfectly feels enormous empathy for Britney. My house is glass, from top to bottom, so instead of throwing stones, I try to send prayers to all of us who are doing the best we can in spite of our wounds.

Nicely put SCM.

 

[sandraladeda]

The problem with K-Fool is that he is only going into it for the money. I feel really sorry for those cute little boys. They deserve better parents than those two! He sure wasn't worried for his kids(first two) when he went off with Brit when Shar was pregnant with his child. The guy is a loser and only into Shar and Brit for their money. This guy doesn't want to work for a living. He is scum. Selling pictures to the press for money....
:loser:

How can you know he's in it for the money? Even @ssholes love their chidren and don't want them endangered by a drinking, drugging, car crashing, leaving the state against court orders, paparazzi assaulting, no child safety seat using mother.

Shar doesn't have a whole lot negative to say about K-Fed, she is okay with his role in their kids life, as far as I can tell.

Give the kids to daddy, Brit has used up all her chances, imo. Maybe losing her kids is the rock bottom she needs to hit...

Note - the papers were served as Brit and Allie were leaving yet another in a long string of nightclubs. She's not even trying to clean up her act! She's just like LLohan - right when they should be cleaning up their acts, they are in clubs....what the???

imho

 

[OneLostGrl]

Today I don't have much time or interest in what I "should" feel. I spent too much of my life caring about that and it never brought me any happiness, peace or insight into who I am and what I'm doing here. I am only interested in what I do feel.

As it stands in this situation, I have empathy for the lot - Britney, Kevin, the children, and their respective families. I don't have more empathy for one being and less empathy for another - I can't even get my head around that way of thinking. The nature of my empathic feelings is catholic.

I've seen/read nothing that makes me think the children aren't being cared for by competent nannies/family members when their respective parents aren't with them.

Do the children have an ideal situation? I don't know. It's not the situation I chose for myself, but neither is it a situation that screams abuse, IMHO.

While it sounds lovely and noble to say, "Once you become a parent, you need to grow up and stop indulging yourself" and while there is truth on the surface of that statement and it is something to strive towards, I deal in realities and not platitudes. My reality is that I've never - not once in my whole life - met a perfect parent, though of course I have met some who seem more effective in that role than others.

The child inside of me who was not parented perfectly feels enormous empathy for the children. The mother inside of me who does not parent perfectly feels enormous empathy for Britney. My house is glass, from top to bottom, so instead of throwing stones, I try to send prayers to all of us who are doing the best we can in spite of our wounds.

After every post I read of yours I just like you more and more. You are a good and honest person, SCM, I respect that!!

 

[Amraann]

Although it is not ideal for children to be raised by nannies in the world of big money it is most often simply how children are raised.

I don't think that K-Fed is going to be sitting home changing diapers either.
Before the media turned on Brittany they were following K-Fed around while he was partying it up too.
I doubt that much has changed except the media is focusing on her not him.

 

[southcitymom]

After every post I read of yours I just like you more and more. You are a good and honest person, SCM, I respect that!!

Maybe we're separated at birth OLG, because I always feel the exact same way when I read your contributions! :blowkiss:

 

[Squishified]

How can you know he's in it for the money? Even @ssholes love their chidren and don't want them endangered by a drinking, drugging, car crashing, leaving the state against court orders, paparazzi assaulting, no child safety seat using mother.

Shar doesn't have a whole lot negative to say about K-Fed, she is okay with his role in their kids life, as far as I can tell.

Give the kids to daddy, Brit has used up all her chances, imo. Maybe losing her kids is the rock bottom she needs to hit...

Note - the papers were served as Brit and Allie were leaving yet another in a long string of nightclubs. She's not even trying to clean up her act! She's just like LLohan - right when they should be cleaning up their acts, they are in clubs....what the???

imho

Hi sandra,
I agree with you!

 

[shopper]

Although it is not ideal for children to be raised by nannies in the world of big money it is most often simply how children are raised.

I don't think that K-Fed is going to be sitting home changing diapers either.
Before the media turned on Brittany they were following K-Fed around while he was partying it up too.
I doubt that much has changed except the media is focusing on her not him.

That's because IMO he either wised up or decided to listen to someone wiser than him because he's been laying low for awhile, letting Britney get all the negative attention.

I don't think Britney is a bad person or really a bad mother. She's just messed up in the head. I just wish she'd listen to those around her and get some help.

 

[CaliKid]

That's because IMO he either wised up or decided to listen to someone wiser than him because he's been laying low for awhile, letting Britney get all the negative attention.

I don't think Britney is a bad person or really a bad mother. She's just messed up in the head. I just wish she'd listen to those around her and get some help.

But neither is she a good person or a good mother, and that's a choice she makes on a daily basis. As many have pointed out here, when you have a child it's time to grow up and start putting him or her first. And claiming your own parents didn't do it right isn't an excuse.

 

[Boyzmomee]

But neither is she a good person or a good mother, and that's a choice she makes on a daily basis. As many have pointed out here, when you have a child it's time to grow up and start putting him or her first. And claiming your own parents didn't do it right isn't an excuse.

Exactly.

We're not talking about a mom who forgot to send a snack to pre-school or maybe yellled at her kids when she was tired.

My house is glass as well. I'm proud of the way I parent.

 

[southcitymom]

But neither is she a good person or a good mother, and that's a choice she makes on a daily basis. As many have pointed out here, when you have a child it's time to grow up and start putting him or her first. And claiming your own parents didn't do it right isn't an excuse.

:waitasec: Let's see...she's not a bad person or a bad mother, but neither is she a good person or a good mother. Hmmmmm....that makes her....HUMAN and therefore just like the rest of us! Let's crucify her quickly for that!

I'm being a smart alec, of course. I actually think Brit is a good person and a good mother. Could she be a better person and a better mother? Yes - I'm sure of it. But, so could I....

 

[calus_3]

Is there any chance that they were both in their underwear at the time? :innocent:

Hell, if my parents barged into my house and demanded to take my kids for some private time, the response would be "will 18 years be enough?"....and then all they would see is a flash of light as I hit the beach somewhere.

Sounds like the trailer trash didn't fall far from the 2x4 porch!

Cal

 

[gman20001969]

Substance abuse.

cocajena!

I mean, the only other true tale sign that she doesn't have from being on coke is the fact that she's still a bit overweight. But the bottom line is, a pop star shouldn't expect to have life expectancy of being a pop star. Look at Kelly Clarkston. She's starting to wan out after this last album.

 

[southcitymom]

.... I'm proud of the way I parent.

I think this explains our divergent sensibilities on the subject. It's awesome that you can make this blanket statement, but I can't.

Some days I can - some days I am proud of the way I parent. But there are just as many days where I wonder what in the world God was thinking to set the task before me.

I've been a parent for seven years and I still haven't figured spit out! I just strive to trust God and the process because I'm winging it every step of the way!

 

[sandraladeda]

I agree with boysmomee, I too am proud of the way I parent. I put a great deal of thought and care and self-sacrifice into parenting. This is not to say I have not made any mistakes. But I am sorry for any mistakes I make and take steps to avoid making the same mistakes. To say that "We are all human" makes a nice sound bite, but I doubt there is a parent here at WS who has made the mistakes BS has been making and appears intent on continuing to make.

What has BS done to be proud of her parenting? Gave birth? Has money? What sacrifices is she making?

There is being human (we all make mistakes) and there is facing mistakes, and making changes to avoid repeating those mistakes, and to do what is best for our children. What has she done to make positive changes? Where is the maturity? Where is the sense of right and wrong?

imho

 

[Amraann]

I agree with boysmomee, I too am proud of the way I parent. I put a great deal of thought and care and self-sacrifice into parenting. This is not to say I have not made any mistakes. But I am sorry for any mistakes I make and take steps to avoid making the same mistakes. To say that "We are all human" makes a nice sound bite, but I doubt there is a parent here at WS who has made the mistakes BS has been making and appears intent on continuing to make.

What has BS done to be proud of her parenting? Gave birth? Has money? What sacrifices is she making?

There is being human (we all make mistakes) and there is facing mistakes, and making changes to avoid repeating those mistakes, and to do what is best for our children. What has she done to make positive changes? Where is the maturity? Where is the sense of right and wrong?

imho

Although I totally agree with this ... I am not so sure that a media portrail is an accurate description of her parenting skills. IN reality we do not know what kind of mom she is.

 

[southcitymom]

... I am not so sure that a media portrail is an accurate description of her parenting skills. IN reality we do not know what kind of mom she is.

Exactly!

 

[southcitymom]

I agree with boysmomee, I too am proud of the way I parent. I put a great deal of thought and care and self-sacrifice into parenting. This is not to say I have not made any mistakes. But I am sorry for any mistakes I make and take steps to avoid making the same mistakes. To say that "We are all human" makes a nice sound bite, but I doubt there is a parent here at WS who has made the mistakes BS has been making and appears intent on continuing to make.

What has BS done to be proud of her parenting? Gave birth? Has money? What sacrifices is she making?

There is being human (we all make mistakes) and there is facing mistakes, and making changes to avoid repeating those mistakes, and to do what is best for our children. What has she done to make positive changes? Where is the maturity? Where is the sense of right and wrong?

imho

I don't think anyone would accuse Britney of being a mature parent. Clearly she is not. But she can mature as she parents. Most of us do. I certainly did not give birth and then become mature. It has been a process for me and it still is.

I believe she felt like she was making a positive change when she decided to get divorced. What other positive changes she may have made, I don't know, but I've no doubt that she has done plenty as a parent to be proud of. Of course, all that stuff is boring and prosaic and no one is interested in reading it.

"Britney Almost Drops Son on Head" sells papers; "Britney Changes Son's Diapers While He Kicks Her, Feeds Him A Dinner He Won't Eat, Bathes Him, Reads Him Goodnite Moon 23 Times, Sings To Him, Rocks Him to Sleep And Then Passes Out on the Couch in Front of a Law & Order Rerun" does not.

It's hard to weed out sensationalism from fact - particularly in her case. Criticizing her parenting is what sells papers these days - so the media will find what it needs, however specious, to keep that gravy train rolling.

I don't know what parenting mistakes you think Brit has made that qualify her for a terrible mother award, so I don't know if I've made the same mistakes or not. But I'm fairly certain I could match her shortcomings as a parent with plenty of my own, and I think my failings could be made to look extraordinarily egregious in the hands of the right photographer and the right reporter.