Ashley Rogers, Glenn HS, committed suicide after harassing texts
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babygirl94
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Well, just like the summer (HOT), I am trying to keep the heat on the circumstances around Ashley's death. Unfortunately, I have only been able to get attention (by some) for the fact she commited suicide. I have not been able to get the bullying aspect delt with. 
Thanks for the bump!
Thanks for the bump!
Babygirlb94
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Chris, I thought I would let you know that I agree with you about the trend. I figured that at Glenn, we as a student body would realize the affect our words and actions have on other people. I pray for you and Todd everyday to give you the strength to continue to go on and inspire people to change and thank you for raising awareness. I love you and your family so much and I really miss Ashley. I also thank you for putting together the memorial for Ashley's birthday. It was really beautiful and I know it must've been hard for you. Thank you for all you do.
mysterygirl
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Babygirl..............I just thought I would tell you how sorry I am that you have had to go through this. She was lovely and the circumstances around this are horrible.
I think that throughout a person's life, one has windows of vulnerable times--almost like an immune system being down-- and a girl in her teen yrs is a perfect example. They feel like things are the end of the world and don't see that they are not.
Perhaps she has affected others in ways that are beyond measure............
I think that throughout a person's life, one has windows of vulnerable times--almost like an immune system being down-- and a girl in her teen yrs is a perfect example. They feel like things are the end of the world and don't see that they are not.
Perhaps she has affected others in ways that are beyond measure............
Babygirlb94
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Mysterygirl, I knew Ashley and I know her mom (Babygirl94) and Ashley's death has had an impact on everyone who knew her...and those who didn't. Her parents are using their amazing strength and bravery to help prevent suicide and provide awareness. They amaze me and help me get through every day. I have though about going through with suicide before...even recently...but Ashley's death shows me how much that hurts people...and that means that people care. Her death isn't in vain and she has made an impact on so many people. Ashley would be so proud of her momma and would want her mom to keep her strength and keep making it through each day, even though it's hard.
~Butterfly fly away R.I.P. <3~
~Butterfly fly away R.I.P. <3~
babygirl94
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Hello Everybody,
I wanted to let you know I am going public, once again. I was contacted by CBS national news for an interview. I have granted this request. First and foremost, I want to make sure people understand that mys husband and myself did everything we could do to help/protect Ashley. No, this is not a blanket statement I am making to ease my pain. We have sat down for many nights and talked and cried. We have gone to counseling and support groups. We KNOW in our hearts we DID EVERYTHING we could do.
Second, I would like everybody to know we don't completely stand behind our first interviews. We feel as if the text messages played a part in her death. We do not feel she intended to kill herself. We feel she was soooo frustrated and felt so hopeless, she wanted to give up all she had worked for and go back to the hospital. She knew once we found her, that is where she would go. We feel she received retribution for the incident the day before.
Please be on the lookout for the interview. I PRAY all goes well and I am able to express my feelings and beliefs without my words getting twisted.
I wanted to let you know I am going public, once again. I was contacted by CBS national news for an interview. I have granted this request. First and foremost, I want to make sure people understand that mys husband and myself did everything we could do to help/protect Ashley. No, this is not a blanket statement I am making to ease my pain. We have sat down for many nights and talked and cried. We have gone to counseling and support groups. We KNOW in our hearts we DID EVERYTHING we could do.
Second, I would like everybody to know we don't completely stand behind our first interviews. We feel as if the text messages played a part in her death. We do not feel she intended to kill herself. We feel she was soooo frustrated and felt so hopeless, she wanted to give up all she had worked for and go back to the hospital. She knew once we found her, that is where she would go. We feel she received retribution for the incident the day before.
Please be on the lookout for the interview. I PRAY all goes well and I am able to express my feelings and beliefs without my words getting twisted.
babygirl94
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Ok, I read over this and my wording was not correct.
We feel she received retribution for the incident the day before.
This should have been repercussions.
We feel she received retribution for the incident the day before.
This should have been repercussions.
babygirl94
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Ashley Rogers update
Winston Salem Journal Feb 4, 2011
KERNERSVILLE --
The week before 15-year-old Ashley Rogers killed herself, she received texts from boys that said, "you're fat," "you're ugly" and "go kill yourself," her mother said.
"She just wanted to be accepted," Christine Rogers said of her daughter, who hung herself in the bedroom of her Kernersville home April 14 of last year.
A few months before, she had become sexually active, her mother said.
"She was being tormented by girls and guys," she said. "Word was being spread around that she was easy. She had beauty and brains, but she was plagued with self-esteem issues."
Rogers is speaking publicly about her daughter's story for the first time to try to bring attention to bullying and the damage it can cause. She hopes to make a dent in the proliferation of hateful talk in person, online and in phone texts.
She will speak today to a student assembly at Southern Guilford High School in Greensboro, and Ashley's case will be profiled in an upcoming CBS News special report on bullying, set to air four to six months from now.
Rogers said her daughter, who was a sophomore at Glenn High School, knew she had made mistakes and was working through her issues with her counselor. She was hospitalized twice between October and December 2009, dealing with depression and insecurities.
"We were seeing positive progress with goal-setting and with her medication," Rogers said of her only child.
But an incident happened the day before her suicide that may have played some role in her depression. Minutes after she had teasingly hit a male student in the head with an empty plastic drink bottle, he spit in her face in front of a group of teens.
"She felt humiliated," her mother said.
The hateful texts continued and, the next evening, Ashley told her parents that she did not want to go to school the next day because she had pulled a muscle in her dance class.
Her parents told her that her injury did not seem that serious and that she needed to go to school. She became upset and stormed upstairs.
Christine Rogers did not follow her daughter upstairs because she had talked to Ashley's counselor about a 10-minute "cool down" period after a blowup.
Her daughter texted her mother's phone from upstairs, typing the words: "You are ignoring me."
A few minutes later, her father went to check on her and found she had hanged herself. Christine Rogers, who is a nurse, performed CPR, and soon paramedics arrived, but she was pronounced dead at 10:55 p.m. at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center.
At the assembly, Christine Rogers, 42, will give this advice:
"Words are permanent. Even if you apologize, hurtful words cut badly the first time. You don't know what the person has gone through. Before you say something mean, ask yourself: Would you want someone to say these words to someone you love?"
Rogers remembers the week before her daughter died, finding her daughter crying, sitting on her bed, reading over phone texts.
"She showed me eight or nine texts, really awful," her mother said. "I told her that I would go to the school to complain, and she begged me not to, that that would make it worse. So I told her I would back off."
After the spitting incident, however, Christine Rogers did complain to the school, and officials talked to all parties involved. Kernersville police said a few days after Ashley's death that no charges would be filed against the two boys who sent text messages to her, because the messages did not violate the state's cyberbullying law.
In North Carolina in 2009, the General Assembly passed a cyberbullying law, making it a misdemeanor to use a computer to intimidate, harass or torment a minor.
Christine Rogers and her husband, Todd Rogers, are not pressing for any legal action against anyone regarding their daughter's suicide, but Christine said she is ready to speak out.
"Each school needs an anti-bullying program," Christine Rogers said. "There should be consequences for Action A, Action B and Action C."
Also, she wants schools' faculty and staff to learn more about how to identify students who are at risk for suicide.
Last October, Christine and Todd Rogers sponsored an "Out of the Darkness" walk in Tanglewood that raised $3,000 in memory of Ashley, to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Rogers said she is glad to speak at Southern Guilford, where an anti-bullying club has been formed.
Students and advisers in the club heard about Ashley's story and contacted her mother to be the keynote speaker at the assembly.
Rogers said she is willing to speak to any school district, including the Winston-Salem/Forsyth County school district. She has offered to speak in her home district, but no one has called her yet, she said.
Theo Helm, a spokesman for Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Schools, said the district's anti-bullying task force started meeting again this school year.
"One of the things that the task force is looking at is how to effectively use speakers as part of that campaign," Helm said. "At this point, the group has not reached out to anybody about speaking yet."
Many schools in the district have anti-bullying clubs, he said.
"Cyberbullying is much more prevalent now," Helm said. "Things have changed a lot in the past five years; look at how different Facebook is compared to five years ago. So the issue needs to be looked at again."
Winston Salem Journal Feb 4, 2011
KERNERSVILLE --
The week before 15-year-old Ashley Rogers killed herself, she received texts from boys that said, "you're fat," "you're ugly" and "go kill yourself," her mother said.
"She just wanted to be accepted," Christine Rogers said of her daughter, who hung herself in the bedroom of her Kernersville home April 14 of last year.
A few months before, she had become sexually active, her mother said.
"She was being tormented by girls and guys," she said. "Word was being spread around that she was easy. She had beauty and brains, but she was plagued with self-esteem issues."
Rogers is speaking publicly about her daughter's story for the first time to try to bring attention to bullying and the damage it can cause. She hopes to make a dent in the proliferation of hateful talk in person, online and in phone texts.
She will speak today to a student assembly at Southern Guilford High School in Greensboro, and Ashley's case will be profiled in an upcoming CBS News special report on bullying, set to air four to six months from now.
Rogers said her daughter, who was a sophomore at Glenn High School, knew she had made mistakes and was working through her issues with her counselor. She was hospitalized twice between October and December 2009, dealing with depression and insecurities.
"We were seeing positive progress with goal-setting and with her medication," Rogers said of her only child.
But an incident happened the day before her suicide that may have played some role in her depression. Minutes after she had teasingly hit a male student in the head with an empty plastic drink bottle, he spit in her face in front of a group of teens.
"She felt humiliated," her mother said.
The hateful texts continued and, the next evening, Ashley told her parents that she did not want to go to school the next day because she had pulled a muscle in her dance class.
Her parents told her that her injury did not seem that serious and that she needed to go to school. She became upset and stormed upstairs.
Christine Rogers did not follow her daughter upstairs because she had talked to Ashley's counselor about a 10-minute "cool down" period after a blowup.
Her daughter texted her mother's phone from upstairs, typing the words: "You are ignoring me."
A few minutes later, her father went to check on her and found she had hanged herself. Christine Rogers, who is a nurse, performed CPR, and soon paramedics arrived, but she was pronounced dead at 10:55 p.m. at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center.
At the assembly, Christine Rogers, 42, will give this advice:
"Words are permanent. Even if you apologize, hurtful words cut badly the first time. You don't know what the person has gone through. Before you say something mean, ask yourself: Would you want someone to say these words to someone you love?"
Rogers remembers the week before her daughter died, finding her daughter crying, sitting on her bed, reading over phone texts.
"She showed me eight or nine texts, really awful," her mother said. "I told her that I would go to the school to complain, and she begged me not to, that that would make it worse. So I told her I would back off."
After the spitting incident, however, Christine Rogers did complain to the school, and officials talked to all parties involved. Kernersville police said a few days after Ashley's death that no charges would be filed against the two boys who sent text messages to her, because the messages did not violate the state's cyberbullying law.
In North Carolina in 2009, the General Assembly passed a cyberbullying law, making it a misdemeanor to use a computer to intimidate, harass or torment a minor.
Christine Rogers and her husband, Todd Rogers, are not pressing for any legal action against anyone regarding their daughter's suicide, but Christine said she is ready to speak out.
"Each school needs an anti-bullying program," Christine Rogers said. "There should be consequences for Action A, Action B and Action C."
Also, she wants schools' faculty and staff to learn more about how to identify students who are at risk for suicide.
Last October, Christine and Todd Rogers sponsored an "Out of the Darkness" walk in Tanglewood that raised $3,000 in memory of Ashley, to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Rogers said she is glad to speak at Southern Guilford, where an anti-bullying club has been formed.
Students and advisers in the club heard about Ashley's story and contacted her mother to be the keynote speaker at the assembly.
Rogers said she is willing to speak to any school district, including the Winston-Salem/Forsyth County school district. She has offered to speak in her home district, but no one has called her yet, she said.
Theo Helm, a spokesman for Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Schools, said the district's anti-bullying task force started meeting again this school year.
"One of the things that the task force is looking at is how to effectively use speakers as part of that campaign," Helm said. "At this point, the group has not reached out to anybody about speaking yet."
Many schools in the district have anti-bullying clubs, he said.
"Cyberbullying is much more prevalent now," Helm said. "Things have changed a lot in the past five years; look at how different Facebook is compared to five years ago. So the issue needs to be looked at again."
cmlegend99
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I am glad you are speaking out about what happened. I have thought about Ashley since I read what happened. I am still so very sorry. I went to Carver and graudated about 10 years ago. From what I am seeing bully is, indeed a very current topic now. I cannot believe people in school can be so mean/hateful to each other. It truely breaks my heart. I am so glad you were able to express yourself in regards to your daughters situation.
How are you doing? I know it takes a lot of time and you will never get over this...
How are you doing? I know it takes a lot of time and you will never get over this...
babygirl94
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How I can ever be happy again? How can life every be "normal" again? How do we get "through" this?
Well, that is all about me.
Now, about everything else...
How could people egg my house months after Ashley passed? How could some of the bullies not feel some responsibility? How could the DA not find something to charge them with? How could some of the staff not go to the administrators with what they saw/read/knew????
Wishing I could go :back:
Well, that is all about me.
Now, about everything else...
How could people egg my house months after Ashley passed? How could some of the bullies not feel some responsibility? How could the DA not find something to charge them with? How could some of the staff not go to the administrators with what they saw/read/knew????
Wishing I could go :back:
babygirl94
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I need some opinions.....
We have a (possible) opportunity to make some changes within the school system.
If you could change something - related to bullying, what would it be??
:detective:
We have a (possible) opportunity to make some changes within the school system.
If you could change something - related to bullying, what would it be??
:detective:
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Christine, I am so very, very, sorry for your loss.
I will be attending this and I wanted to share this with you and anyone who would like to participate in this (AFSP - American Foundation for Suicide Prevention) upcoming webinar on anti-bullying legislation at the federal and state levels:
Anti-Bullying and Anti-Cyberbullying legislation webinar May 26, 3-4 PM Eastern
https://afsp.omnovia.com/register/52301305307681
Suicide Prevention Action Network USA
http://www.spanusa.org/
http://www.afsp.org/files/Chapter_Documents/AFSP_Capital_Region_NY/2011_MHM_Policy_Briefs_AFSP.pdf
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~bumping this~
Christine, I don't have any sage words of advice about the school system & bullying but I think if some of us keep bumping this, other members will see the thread and offer some ideas.
I just wanted to tell you that I, too, have lost a daughter and you will get through it, day-by-day, minute-by-minute, second-by-second. You will get through it by continuing to be an advocate and by continuing to honor Ashley.
Please know that for every horrible person in the world who would egg your house, there are thousands more of us who would stand with you in solidarity.
*virtual hugs*
Christine, I don't have any sage words of advice about the school system & bullying but I think if some of us keep bumping this, other members will see the thread and offer some ideas.
I just wanted to tell you that I, too, have lost a daughter and you will get through it, day-by-day, minute-by-minute, second-by-second. You will get through it by continuing to be an advocate and by continuing to honor Ashley.
Please know that for every horrible person in the world who would egg your house, there are thousands more of us who would stand with you in solidarity.
*virtual hugs*
maggieo
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Christine, my heart aches for you. I cannot imagine what you are going through. What you are doing to help combat bullying is a wonderful legacy for Ashley. she will not be forgotten.
You asked what kind of changes we would make in schools. As a former bullied student, here's what I'd do:
1. Call bullying what it is: Harassment. The word "bullying" brings to mind 8 yr olds on a playground, and so teens are embarrassed to admit they're being bullied, and adults don't take it seriously. Harassment is an adult problem with legal repercussions, and is less emotionally loaded, and one that it is easier to admit to being a victim of.
2. Schools should adopt a policy of zero-tolerance for harassment of all kinds. Specific staff members -- guidance counselors or social workers -- should be designated as the harassment czars, the people to whom incidents are reported and who RECORDS every single one, even trivial ones, even ones that occur outside of school hours that they are not legally responsible for (because these outside school hours incidents DO impact what happens at school). The very act of recording these incidents under the heading "harassment" will make the problem a real, concrete thing that can be dealt with.
3. At a certain point to be determined by the czars and the admin, harassment issues will be dealt with like any other rule infractions, such as drug or alcohol use.
Just calling it harassment and treating is seriously is a good first step.
You asked what kind of changes we would make in schools. As a former bullied student, here's what I'd do:
1. Call bullying what it is: Harassment. The word "bullying" brings to mind 8 yr olds on a playground, and so teens are embarrassed to admit they're being bullied, and adults don't take it seriously. Harassment is an adult problem with legal repercussions, and is less emotionally loaded, and one that it is easier to admit to being a victim of.
2. Schools should adopt a policy of zero-tolerance for harassment of all kinds. Specific staff members -- guidance counselors or social workers -- should be designated as the harassment czars, the people to whom incidents are reported and who RECORDS every single one, even trivial ones, even ones that occur outside of school hours that they are not legally responsible for (because these outside school hours incidents DO impact what happens at school). The very act of recording these incidents under the heading "harassment" will make the problem a real, concrete thing that can be dealt with.
3. At a certain point to be determined by the czars and the admin, harassment issues will be dealt with like any other rule infractions, such as drug or alcohol use.
Just calling it harassment and treating is seriously is a good first step.
babygirl94
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To Maggieo,
You have some very good suggestions. The one I like the most is that it should not be called bullying. You are correct, this is harassment in its purist form. I will forever use that term when/if speaking on the subject.
To LadyL,
Thank you. We must ALL stand in solidarity for our children. I like the quote..."it takes a village to raise a child". Yeah, I know where it came from. It still has a meaning which is lost on today's society.
To NoeticSoul,
I am not sure if that is the webinar I attended. I did attend one that was presented at the White House. There were people from Facebook and other agency's there to answer questions. I am sad to say, I thought it could have been better. There were no real answers.
That is what parents need. We need to know we have an agency with authority to turn to. We need to know that when the laws are broken, somebody is held accountable. We need to know the laws in this country are to protect the law abiding citizen and not the punk/thief/cheat or other person that USES the law to protect their wrongdoings.
I am trying to find a lawyer/attorney willing to stand up and say.... THIS IS WRONG. It is not just me seeking justice for Ashley but I have been approached by others that have had similar situations and are trying to prevent the same outcome.
Pray I find a person that has enough gumption (southern word
) that will stand up to the school/police/state government or whomever tramples on the rights of our children.
Thank you all for your kind words and well wishes.
Christine Rogers
:bump:
Keep bumping = maybe I will get some other opinions.
You have some very good suggestions. The one I like the most is that it should not be called bullying. You are correct, this is harassment in its purist form. I will forever use that term when/if speaking on the subject.
To LadyL,
Thank you. We must ALL stand in solidarity for our children. I like the quote..."it takes a village to raise a child". Yeah, I know where it came from. It still has a meaning which is lost on today's society.
To NoeticSoul,
I am not sure if that is the webinar I attended. I did attend one that was presented at the White House. There were people from Facebook and other agency's there to answer questions. I am sad to say, I thought it could have been better. There were no real answers.
That is what parents need. We need to know we have an agency with authority to turn to. We need to know that when the laws are broken, somebody is held accountable. We need to know the laws in this country are to protect the law abiding citizen and not the punk/thief/cheat or other person that USES the law to protect their wrongdoings.
I am trying to find a lawyer/attorney willing to stand up and say.... THIS IS WRONG. It is not just me seeking justice for Ashley but I have been approached by others that have had similar situations and are trying to prevent the same outcome.
Pray I find a person that has enough gumption (southern word
) that will stand up to the school/police/state government or whomever tramples on the rights of our children.Thank you all for your kind words and well wishes.
Christine Rogers
:bump:
Keep bumping = maybe I will get some other opinions.
babygirl94
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BTW - I found out that CBS has pulled the plug on our interview/Ashley's story. They have decided to go with a story in the Northeast where the child ATTEMPTED but did not succeed with suicide. That just continues the attitude that it is a subject that is not to be spoken of. That is another task I am tackling. Removing the shroud from suicide/mental illness/low self esteem whatever you want to call it. Sometimes a person just NEEDS a little more LOVE!
I am so sorry you lost your baby girl. My son (24 now) was bullied in jr high (Liberty, MO) because he is gay. Kids left notes on his locker, put condoms in it and teased him to the point he wet his pants. I met with the principals and they did nothing and I finally took him out of school and started homeschooling him. I contacted several attorneys to file a suit with the district but it was on deaf ears and I had no case. Really? I wish I had the answer or at least an answer. He is the oldest of five and his experience has taught the younger ones about zero tolerance to bullying.
I wish my son would have known your daughter...I'm sure he would have been her best friend.
Be stong and keep the fight!
I wish my son would have known your daughter...I'm sure he would have been her best friend.
Be stong and keep the fight!
OMgosh your post just made me want to cry - I am so sorry. I'm glad you took him out of school - you may have just saved his life. Teens (mine is 14) can be so cruel. I am open and honest with the kids, and for some reason many of my sons friends feel they can be open and honest with me. Talking about sex and drugs, etc. I don't admonish them, but instead it gives me a real feel about what's going on in school. They do talk about some friends being gay, and I try very hard to tell them that each child has the right to make that choice - just like they choose the shoes they wear. I see the discrimination already and it really scares me. It suprised me that they could be so cruel at such a young age (I don't remember that growing up).
You're right there should be ZERO tolerance. I don't know if it's fortunate, or unfortunate, but the middle school knew me very well, and I don't know what's going to happen in high school. I'll just say my nightly prayers and try to educate the teens as much as possible. It's kind of nice that in San Diego we have zero tolerance in most schools. Of course the kids hate it, but as a mom, I love it.
Hugs to you and your son.
MOO
Mel
Bless you - I just want to wrap my arms around you for all that you are going through. I wish I had words of comfort, but can only imagine how deep the pain must be.
Please know that I'm thinking about you, and without your words of wisdom, we wouldn't have the knowledge to learn - we wouldn't know how to keep the children of the future free from harm.
Keep up the fight - don't ever ever give up. Take that anger and passion and turn it into the good fight. Ashley will be forever grateful.
Love and hugs,
Melanie
ETA: Does the school now have a zero tolerance policy? My son doesn't have the text feature enabled on his phone, and I'd really like to see cell phones banned from school. Teens hide behind texts, FB, e-mail, my space as a reason to say whatever they want. Remember the days when you had to tell a friend that you heard someone say such-n-such. Those days are gone, and harassment is now taking place via all avenues of the internet/cell. Our teens are not mature enough to handle it IMHO (at least my teen isn't). I won't even get into the X-box chat feature (which I'm not learning about). Cruel - downright cruel!
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