CA - 2-month old baby found dead in hot car - June 20, 2024

[Lilibet]

It's that autopilot state which no one knows they are entering until they emerge from it.

And people think they are so careful and conscientious that it could ever happen to them…until it does.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

My only question is why didn’t the grandparent, sitter, or whoever you meant to drop her off with, call and ask where she is? Maybe an impromptu drop off you don’t need to schedule?

Often it's a daycare center, and they don't necessarily call families who don't drop their child off. They tend to be understaffed as it is.

 

[SMK777]

Often it's a daycare center, and they don't necessarily call families who don't drop their child off. They tend to be understaffed as it is.

Do you think there would have been a daycare center that they or a family member were supposed to drop her off at for after 3:30 pm for afternoon and evening hours, but they somehow forgot?

And this would explain why they were not noticing her absence, or the need for bottles and diaper changes— because she was supposed to be somewhere else? To me, that’s the only logical explanation for not noticing she was not there…..

 

[katydid23]

It's like Uber but for fast food. You order food from a restaurant that's listed on Grubhub/Postmates and a driver picks it up and drops it off @ your place.

I was thinking more specifically for groceries or restaurant orders.

But I have used it when babysitting grandkids when we just ran out of milk and bread or something and I don't want to load up everyone in the car...

 

[SMK777]

So this article does indicate that one of the dads was spoken to briefly.

On Tuesday, NBC 7 spoke briefly with the distraught father, who declined to be interviewed.

Neighbors, family distraught after 2-month-old Santee girl dies after being left in hot car

The San Diego Sheriff’s Department said deputies responded to a 911 call on June 13 and found a baby girl unresponsive in an SUV outside of a home.

www.nbcsandiego.com

 

[ChatteringBirds]

Do you think there would have been a daycare center that they or a family member were supposed to drop her off at for after 3:30 pm for afternoon and evening hours, but they somehow forgot?

And this would explain why they were not noticing her absence, or the need for bottles and diaper changes— because she was supposed to be somewhere else? To me, that’s the only logical explanation for not noticing she was not there…..

I really don't know. Maybe one dad, who was supposed to be taking care of her, forgot she was in the car starting much earlier in the day (after an errand, for example) and was thinking all day that she was with or dropped off somewhere by the other dad? Meanwhile the 2nd dad thought she was fine at home all day and got home at dinner-time or later, and both ended up thinking the other put her to bed. And by the time they both realized she wasn't, it was their bedtime (midnight seems late, but maybe)?

 

[SMK777]

I really don't know. Maybe one dad, who was supposed to be taking care of her, forgot she was in the car starting much earlier in the day (after an errand, for example) and was thinking all day that she was with or dropped off somewhere by the other dad? Meanwhile the 2nd dad thought she was fine at home all day and got home at dinner-time or later, and both ended up thinking the other put her to bed. And by the time they both realized she wasn't, it was their bedtime (midnight seems late, but maybe)?

Yes, that’s a possibility, definitely.
I do wish that they would update about the investigation.

 

[Observant-ADHD-ENFP-BSc]

Everyone following this, please, if you can bear to, read the following article from Washington post.

It's such an interesting deep dive into how these things happen, and also reveals why the automotive industry isn't doing more to fight it, eg like with seat belt bleepers.

Trigger warning, it contains some very distressing content.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

Thank you for the link. What an informative and comprehensive article. I learned a lot and understand much more.

 

[Observant-ADHD-ENFP-BSc]

I have a theory that they met babysitters at the house at 3.30 pm when they arrived home, possibly someone who had only babysat the two-year-old. The dads told the babysitter the kids were in the car and left, with the babysitter(s) taking the two-year-old out of the car, probably very excited. The babysitters got distracted with the likely energetic two-year-old and are used to only having the toddler and forgot about the baby. The baby was found once the dads came home.
Like I said, it's just a theory, JMO.

 

[Ladyotm]

I have a theory that they met babysitters at the house at 3.30 pm when they arrived home, possibly someone who had only babysat the two-year-old. The dads told the babysitter the kids were in the car and left, with the babysitter(s) taking the two-year-old out of the car, probably very excited. The babysitters got distracted with the likely energetic two-year-old and are used to only having the toddler and forgot about the baby. The baby was found once the dads came home.
Like I said, it's just a theory, JMO.

Great theory. In keeping with it, I wonder if the babysitter is a teenager? Taking care and dealing with all those pets would be a lot!! I'm still surprised that more information has not come out.

 

[Lilibet]

I appreciate that the excellent WaPo article that @Cardgame posted helps us understand why these hot car deaths create so much anger toward the parents:

“This is a case of pure evil negligence of the worse kind . . . He deserves the death sentence.”

“I wonder if this was his way of telling his wife that he didn’t really want a kid.”

“He was too busy chasing after real estate commissions. This shows how morally corrupt people in real estate-related professions are.”

These were readers’ online comments to The Washington Post news article of July 10, 2008, reporting the circumstances of the death of Miles Harrison’s son. These comments were typical of many others, and they are typical of what happens again and again, year after year in community after community, when these cases arise. A substantial proportion of the public reacts not merely with anger, but with frothing vitriol.

Ed Hickling believes he knows why. Hickling is a clinical psychologist from Albany, N.Y., who has studied the effects of fatal auto accidents on the drivers who survive them. He says these people are often judged with disproportionate harshness by the public, even when it was clearly an accident, and even when it was indisputably not their fault.

Humans, Hickling said, have a fundamental need to create and maintain a narrative for their lives in which the universe is not implacable and heartless, that terrible things do not happen at random, and that catastrophe can be avoided if you are vigilant and responsible.

In hyperthermia cases, he believes, the parents are demonized for much the same reasons. “We are vulnerable, but we don’t want to be reminded of that. We want to believe that the world is understandable and controllable and unthreatening, that if we follow the rules, we’ll be okay. So, when this kind of thing happens to other people, we need to put them in a different category from us. We don’t want to resemble them, and the fact that we might is too terrifying to deal with. So, they have to be monsters.”

After Lyn Balfour’s acquittal, this comment appeared on the Charlottesville News Web site:

“If she had too many things on her mind then she should have kept her legs closed and not had any kids. They should lock her in a car during a hot day and see what happens.”
BBM

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

 

[Tower]

Do you think there would have been a daycare center that they or a family member were supposed to drop her off at for after 3:30 pm for afternoon and evening hours, but they somehow forgot?

And this would explain why they were not noticing her absence, or the need for bottles and diaper changes— because she was supposed to be somewhere else? To me, that’s the only logical explanation for not noticing she was not there…..

I would guess no daycare was involved, just due to the hours (baby found just after midnight), but the concept is the same. Both dads and maybe an additional nanny or babysitter are all busy doing things and think one of the others got baby Diana out of the car, fed her and put her down. 2-month-olds can sleep a lot, but they also wake a lot.

If the adults thought another person was taking care of her, they would think it’s normal for her to nap in her nursery and not to see her until maybe their own bedtime. “When did Diana last get her bottle? Do you think she’ll be up soon?” The other dad, “I didn’t give her a bottle, when did you last give her a bottle?”
(My own scenario, no way to know if it’s true.)

 

[SMK777]

I would guess no daycare was involved, just due to the hours (baby found just after midnight), but the concept is the same. Both dads and maybe an additional nanny or babysitter are all busy doing things and think one of the others got baby Diana out of the car, fed her and put her down. 2-month-olds can sleep a lot, but they also wake a lot.

If the adults thought another person was taking care of her, they would think it’s normal for her to nap in her nursery and not to see her until maybe their own bedtime. “When did Diana last get her bottle? Do you think she’ll be up soon?” The other dad, “I didn’t give her a bottle, when did you last give her a bottle?”
(My own scenario, no way to know if it’s true.)

You’re probably right. It was another horrifying baby-left-in-car-by-loving-parents scenario. I’m starting to think that the Sheriff’s Office decided not to press any charges against anyone, because surely these would have been announced by now?

 

[Countem]

Just realized something that may have been a huge shift in their normal weekday routine.... that day (prior to her being found at 12:20am on the 20th) was a federal holiday, Juneteenth. Perhaps the working dad was home that day, and that created confusion and assumptions about which parent was handling which parental tasks that day?

The family member making the discovery still doesn't quite fit in that scenario though.

I will chime in to add that our regular daycare was closed due to the Juneteenth federal holiday, so that may have been a contributing factor (e.g., Caretaker drives children to daycare. Daycare is closed. Caretaker decides to bring children along for errands. Returns home. Forgets baby in car.). MOO.

 

[SMK777]

I will chime in to add that our regular daycare was closed due to the Juneteenth federal holiday, so that may have been a contributing factor (e.g., Caretaker drives children to daycare. Daycare is closed. Caretaker decides to bring children along for errands. Returns home. Forgets baby in car.). MOO.

Yes, it’s possible something like that happened. It’s been proven that any change in routine opens up the danger of this sort of thing occurring. [I’ve noticed this kind of thing with myself; not with life or death matters but with things like changing ferret cages — any change in my routine or schedule, and I find later that I forget to do certain things which are usually done on autopilot.]

 

[seasideForest]

I have a theory that they met babysitters at the house at 3.30 pm when they arrived home, possibly someone who had only babysat the two-year-old. The dads told the babysitter the kids were in the car and left, with the babysitter(s) taking the two-year-old out of the car, probably very excited. The babysitters got distracted with the likely energetic two-year-old and are used to only having the toddler and forgot about the baby. The baby was found once the dads came home.
Like I said, it's just a theory, JMO.

Anything's possible.
I'm not a parent myself, tho I was often a teenage babysitter and sometimes even a babysitter in my 40's.
I think it's less likely parents would tell a babysitter that a 2yo and a baby were in the car and leave the babysitter to get them out. Much more likely the parents would get the little ones out, hand them to the babysitter, telling the little ones the babysitter is going to look after them (babies under 1yo understand more than you think, MOO) and/or getting the little ones settled (e.g. the 2yo in play with the babysitter) before the parents left.

JMO

 

[mickey2942]

This may be a bit OT, but my husband is elderly, and likes to get out, just for a ride and stay in the car, I always wonder if I could get cited for that...

 

[stephylee969]

I just don't get it... how are two people in the house for 9 hours and neither realizes the baby isn't there? No feedings? No diaper changes? No playtime? Snuggles? Wtf
From all accounts and photos on that daily mail article they seem like well rounded, mature, compassionate, caring people.
Even severely sleep deprived... HOW?!!

Exactly! I was thinking the same thing as I read the details of this case. I became a mother at 18 and I can't imagine not noticing that my baby wasn't with me! Not saying that age would have made it okay, just that I was an idiot teenager and even I would have noticed my child wasn't with me in minutes! Like you said, what about feeds, nappy changes, etc? No excuse in this case as far as I'm concerned.

 

[stephylee969]

Anything's possible.
I'm not a parent myself, tho I was often a teenage babysitter and sometimes even a babysitter in my 40's.
I think it's less likely parents would tell a babysitter that a 2yo and a baby were in the car and leave the babysitter to get them out. Much more likely the parents would get the little ones out, hand them to the babysitter, telling the little ones the babysitter is going to look after them (babies under 1yo understand more than you think, MOO) and/or getting the little ones settled (e.g. the 2yo in play with the babysitter) before the parents left.

JMO

Very good point there! I can't imagine leaving my kids in the car for the sitter to get out. No way! What parent doesn't give their babies a hug goodbye and explain that they're leaving and will be back?

 

[SMK777]

This may be a bit OT, but my husband is elderly, and likes to get out, just for a ride and stay in the car, I always wonder if I could get cited for that...

I guess you need to make sure he doesn’t overheat. Keep windows open and check on him?