CA CA - Barbara Thomas, 69, from Bullhead City AZ, disappeared in Mojave desert, 12 July 2019 #9

[cazador]

We have not heard a word is an under statement ..

 

[LietKynes]

I can understand the criticism of RT, to a point, for not calling her family right away after she went missing.

Many of us probably shape our opinions based on our own views and experience.

I would be very upset if my husband called my parents right away if I could not be located on a outdoor outing/hike.

Would my parents want to know right away? Yes. But them knowing in the frenzy of information gathering and resources being pulled together would serve zero purpose but to cause panic. They would be in the way and have a thousand questions that could not be answered. I love them dearly but that’s how I feel when S hits the fan. No way would I call my in-laws right away either. The less people in the mix initially, the better. That’s ok if that makes me a jerk or whatever.

In many cases lost hikers, explorers, (whoever) who go missing are found. Hopefully it’s a neat story to tell everyone after the dust settles.

So, I don’t come down on him for this. People who are clear thinkers in most situations, can be the opposite under a stressful situation such as this. I have seen people come unhinged and not even remember the kind of car the spouse drives. Outlandish theories galore.

We also don’t know who else RT called. We don’t really know much about BT. Maybe he called a family member or dear friend of hers immediately. Who knows. But he did call 911 in a reasonable amount of time. All my opinion.

For the record... I don't think you're a 'jerk' at all, @K9Enzo
Appreciate your posts.


I feel like Barbara's disappearance has gone on for far too long.
I want answers.
And I am sorry for all who love her.

 

[PommyMommy]

I can understand the criticism of RT, to a point, for not calling her family right away after she went missing.

Many of us probably shape our opinions based on our own views and experience.

I would be very upset if my husband called my parents right away if I could not be located on a outdoor outing/hike.

Would my parents want to know right away? Yes. But them knowing in the frenzy of information gathering and resources being pulled together would serve zero purpose but to cause panic. They would be in the way and have a thousand questions that could not be answered. I love them dearly but that’s how I feel when S hits the fan. No way would I call my in-laws right away either. The less people in the mix initially, the better. That’s ok if that makes me a jerk or whatever.

In many cases lost hikers, explorers, (whoever) who go missing are found. Hopefully it’s a neat story to tell everyone after the dust settles.

So, I don’t come down on him for this. People who are clear thinkers in most situations, can be the opposite under a stressful situation such as this. I have seen people come unhinged and not even remember the kind of car the spouse drives. Outlandish theories galore.

We also don’t know who else RT called. We don’t really know much about BT. Maybe he called a family member or dear friend of hers immediately. Who knows. But he did call 911 in a reasonable amount of time. All my opinion.

But have you considered it the other way around and thought about how you would feel if your 69-year-old mother had been missing for 6 days and nobody called you? Or if your sister had been missing for 4 days and you were just informed? MOO

 

[MsBetsy]

We have not heard a word is an under statement ..

Well, not since we heard he was hanging around at the casino, anyway.

 

[LietKynes]

Well, not since we heard he was hanging around at the casino, anyway.

Heh, heh heh....^^^

I think that was RT hanging out at the "Lizard's Lounge"; and not the VI.
Tbh, maybe RT would rather socialize at places he feels comfortable at ?

It's not like he's going to be bothering the police or the media all the time. That would get tiresome ... real fast. *sarcasm intended*
Imo.

 

[10ofRods]

Yes, but the source of all that information is still the VI, just as the source for the pictures of Barbara in the desert is the VI.
That was the point that I thought was being made.
So no matter what LE said or what the neighbors said, the source remains the same. Imo

That’s what I thought, too.

 

[kay74]

Maybe RT called his own family first and also thought there was a possibility she would be found and he would save her family the grief.

 

[Kapua]

Ah, okay. Makes sense. And then Dbdb posts about his call here (including that LE contacted clerk).

We know that Dbdb does speak to the detective from time to time, though.

I’m pretty disappointed though, that the clerk tip comes from SM. People like to insert themselves into cases, especially online. So we don’t really know for sure that LE went and got video from that store. I think it’s likely the clerk saw RT that day, but I am now not so certain that LE really went out there or had contact with this person.

There have been several people on SM who turned out to be either unreliable or not actually able to report from personal experience in the manner that they did on Twitter. IOW, they were embellishing. MOO.

Page 37 of Thread #7 has some conversation about the convenience store stop, for those who didn't catch it.

 

[MassGuy]

I can understand the criticism of RT, to a point, for not calling her family right away after she went missing.

Many of us probably shape our opinions based on our own views and experience.

I would be very upset if my husband called my parents right away if I could not be located on a outdoor outing/hike.

Would my parents want to know right away? Yes. But them knowing in the frenzy of information gathering and resources being pulled together would serve zero purpose but to cause panic. They would be in the way and have a thousand questions that could not be answered. I love them dearly but that’s how I feel when S hits the fan. No way would I call my in-laws right away either. The less people in the mix initially, the better. That’s ok if that makes me a jerk or whatever.

In many cases lost hikers, explorers, (whoever) who go missing are found. Hopefully it’s a neat story to tell everyone after the dust settles.

So, I don’t come down on him for this. People who are clear thinkers in most situations, can be the opposite under a stressful situation such as this. I have seen people come unhinged and not even remember the kind of car the spouse drives. Outlandish theories galore.

We also don’t know who else RT called. We don’t really know much about BT. Maybe he called a family member or dear friend of hers immediately. Who knows. But he did call 911 in a reasonable amount of time. All my opinion.

The trick to winning “Family Feud,” is to figure out the answer that most people would give.

Not the answer that we would give; not the right answer.

Likewise, when I look at someone’s behavior, I don’t necessarily think about how I would behave in a certain situation.

I think about how most people would behave.

I’m bothered here. You call the family, no matter what the relationship to them is like.

That’s what most people would do.

That being said, I don’t believe this is foul play because of his words or actions. That doesn’t move the needle much, or certainly not enough to reach a conclusion.

Instead, I believe this is foul play because of the totality of the circumstances.

A short walk, and a disappearance into thin air.

No proof she was ever there, or atleast at the time she was claimed to be.

The words of law enforcement, and the fact they felt compelled to administer a polygraph.

The nature of the terrain, the proximity to the road, and the visible reference markers.

 

[Cherwell]

The trick to winning “Family Feud,” is to figure out the answer that most people would give.
Not the answer that we would give; not the right answer.
Likewise, when I look at someone’s behavior, I don’t necessarily think about how I would behave in a certain situation.
I think about how most people would behave.

Nevertheless, one's conclusion can only be subjective.
None of us is "most people".

 

[CSIDreamer]

Nevertheless, one's conclusion can only be subjective.
None of us is "most people".

That's for sure!

However, even with me not being "most people" I would have a hard time not showing some simple consideration for my spouse's family. They may disagree (lol) but I'm only so coldhearted.

Plus, those of us here are so exposed to these situations, I assume we, collectively, are even more sensitive to them.

JMO.

 

[Jo in Calif]

Which is also from another platform than MSM or LE.

There’s a quite a bit of stuff in the non-MSM/non-LE bucket. I don’t think we’re supposed to discuss it here, though. It’s very hard to keep it all straight.

I thought the platform that we heard about the LL in the casino came from our VI?

 

[MassGuy]

Nevertheless, one's conclusion can only be subjective.
None of us is "most people".

Not really. If you were to put 10 people in this situation, I believe that statistically, most of them would contact the family.

That was my point; not what we would do, but what they would do.

I think the overwhelming majority of people make that call.

 

[GordianKnot]

Nevertheless, one's conclusion can only be subjective.
None of us is "most people".

Our behaviors as individuals are viewed through the lens of societal norms.
There IS such a thing as "normative behavior."
Not notifying her immediate family members of BT's disappearance under extremely dire circumstances is definitely not normative behavior.

The way we can tell it's not normative behavior, is by most of this group's reaction to it.

I haven't heard a single person here say, "No notification? No problem!" with respect to RT's failure to inform BT's son that his mom vanished in the middle of the desert, in the middle of the day, in the middle of summer.

He didn't tell BT's son the day she went missing.
He didn't tell her son the following day that she went missing.
He didn't tell her son the day after that.
Or the next day.
Or the next day.
Or the next day.
Or the next day.

Basically and bluntly stated, RT didn't bother to inform her son that his mom was most likely dead.

That's not normative behavior.
It's atypical behavior.
It's abnormal behavior.

Abnormal behavior stands out.
It gets noticed.
As evidenced by the fact that it jumped out at so many people here on this forum.

JMO.

 

[K9Enzo]

If what I recall is accurate, 6 days later, LE was the one to notify her son. Who in the family circle knew but the son still didn’t? Was there a collective decision that said it’s a good idea for LE to tell him vs. family? I don’t know...

 

[10ofRods]

The trick to winning “Family Feud,” is to figure out the answer that most people would give.

Not the answer that we would give; not the right answer.

Likewise, when I look at someone’s behavior, I don’t necessarily think about how I would behave in a certain situation.

I think about how most people would behave.

I’m bothered here. You call the family, no matter what the relationship to them is like.

That’s what most people would do.

That being said, I don’t believe this is foul play because of his words or actions. That doesn’t move the needle much, or certainly not enough to reach a conclusion.

Instead, I believe this is foul play because of the totality of the circumstances.

A short walk, and a disappearance into thin air.

No proof she was ever there, or atleast at the time she was claimed to be.

The words of law enforcement, and the fact they felt compelled to administer a polygraph.

The nature of the terrain, the proximity to the road, and the visible reference markers.

So well said. And if a person is too distraught to deal with calling Spouse’s son, then that person asks one of their own family (such as the daughter who was interviewed in the Las Vegas broadcast) to make the calls. Or ask any friend or neighbor. Or cold call a minister (they specialize in that kind of thing). I’ve had family members do all of the above, such that the distraught person’s daughter’s husband made the calls.

<modsnip: Please don't discuss social media>

It’s possible that RT delegated this duty to someone else, who didn’t follow through for reasons.

 

[GordianKnot]

So well said. And if a person is too distraught to deal with calling Spouse’s son, then that person asks one of their own family (such as the daughter who was interviewed in the Las Vegas broadcast) to make the calls. Or ask any friend or neighbor. Or cold call a minister (they specialize in that kind of thing). I’ve had family members do all of the above, such that the distraught person’s daughter’s husband made the calls.

This is another one where there’s some stuff in the SM bucket.

It’s possible that RT delegated this duty to someone else, who didn’t follow through for reasons.

BBM:

We don't know that to be the case, though.

I'm not going to assume that RT took that step.

Assumptions are not facts.

What we do know is that RT didn't notify BT's son himself that his mom vanished in the middle of the desert.

JMO.

 

[MsBetsy]

Heh, heh heh....^^^

I think that was RT hanging out at the "Lizard's Lounge"; and not the VI.
Tbh, maybe RT would rather socialize at places he feels comfortable at ?

It's not like he's going to be bothering the police or the media all the time. That would get tiresome ... real fast. *sarcasm intended*
Imo.

Yes, of course! That would be quite a way for his nephew to travel!
I was thinking maybe he felt comfortable there, too, or that he just didn't want to be home because it just reminded him of his wife.
I remember the VI's sister saying he couldn't even handle reading the news because it was just too much. Imo

 

[MsBetsy]

I thought the platform that we heard about the LL in the casino came from our VI?

Yes, it had to be here because I have never read about the case anywhere else. There were many posts about it, including detailed descriptions of what the place is like and what it has to offer for both kids and adults. Imo

 

[Tillicum]

Yes, of course! That would be quite a way for his nephew to travel!
I was thinking maybe he felt comfortable there, too, or that he just didn't want to be home because it just reminded him of his wife.
I remember the VI's sister saying he couldn't even handle reading the news because it was just too much. Imo

BBM Well he's had plenty of time to recover from that!