CA CA - Ember Graham, 7 mos, Happy Valley, 2 Jul 2015 - #3

[SweetT]

Hospitals do not treat babies and then release them if they do not have a valid identification for them. Babies need to be identified before they would be given treatments, meds, tests, etc. One cannot kidnap a baby and then take them to an ER for emergency care without showing some proof of who the baby belongs to. The emergency staff is going to treat a child who is having a seizure. But then they will keep them until they find out the child's identity if there is any question.

Well normally I would agree but I took my grandaughter to an er..with her having no id and they treated her my husband was with us. .we both discussed later that it seemed like it would have been easy for a kidnapper to have done the same no questions asked etc. .we were kinda shocked but glad she got treated. .

 

[katydid23]

Well normally I would agree but I took my grandaughter to an er..with her having no id and they treated her my husband was with us. .we both discussed later that it seemed like it would have been easy for a kidnapper to have done the same no questions asked etc. .we were kinda shocked but glad she got treated. .

They didnt ask any of you for ID? Did they ask her name or anything? It surprises me because they would need to know for liability and legal reasons if nothing else.

I took my little niece to an ER one time and they asked for her name and verified her existence, and her mom met us there.

 

[nikb]

If I am breaking any rules about SM please delete but I believe we can comment on FB posts if it's the POI and public.

I am not sure how much of MG’s FB pages you have all read. Until last night, I had just skimmed through. For some reason, I felt compelled to know some more background and went thru many if not all of the posts (late night last night). Before I comment, I will again reiterate my belief that FB is a poor way to make judgments because many people want to present themselves in a positive “happy” light. Not all posts may be public so you don’t get the entire picture.

I see that MG had stretches of time where he seemed to be struggling with pain or relationships. During the “up” times – everything seemed over-the-top-happy but then the mood broke the “downs” appeared. Like of all us, he had ups/downs but I got the sense they were extreme. I saw the cycle and there would be 2-3 month stretches were there were no posts (unless private maybe). I can’t imagine how someone who invested her love and dreams into this cycle would feel. (I did compare timeframes and saw what JG posted but won’t touch that here).
The drama was what seemed to fuel the past relationships. The ex’s became “crazy’ and he had to leave and found love again. Here is my timeline if you are so inclined to read and reference the posts on MG page. I think this death was not planned and spur of the moment (accident/anger?) and he couldn't find a way to escape from what he did so he tried to cover it up. I am not an expert on depression, pain, addiction or any other disorder but I think all of these factored into yesterday's results along with poor coping/judgment. No excuses though.

Link and summary are below. Please excuse my rough notes I didn't have time to create a well written journal.
I did find it interesting that his ex (Alicia started a public page for Embers family. I believe it is okay to post as it is public. (https://www.facebook.com/PrayersforEmber?fref=ts)

MG Page: https://www.facebook.com/matthew.graham.71697

2009-2011 – off the grid – no posts are public
2012 – very turbulent
March 15, 2012 – posts public about life thus far. March 20th of particular interest. Very turbulent month with lashing out at friends.
April 2012 – health issues.
April 13 comments of interest.
May 19th interesting.
MG is completing his work release program…..and cleans what sounds like homeless encampments.
July – 25th – read this one – Cypress Bridge.
Summer to year end – an upswing of sorts.
September – battle for custody of son. Current gf with him trying to help. Helps community during fires. By December – relationship seems to be gone – lots of indirect comments but nothing personal.
December 24 2012 – happy again – new love? (JG?).

2013
Early 2013 – focused on son mostly – upswing continues.
August 13, 2013 – lots of posts for JG
September – helps community with fires. Seems to hit a bump of sorts 9/12 and 16.
Oct-Dec – positive. Pictures of son

2014
January – May – off radar
May – picture of pregnant JG
July 2014 – upswing 14-15th stress lifts. July 23rd revealing. 25th finds out he's having a girl (hoping for boy)
August 1st – married
August 14-23 – rough patch (?)
August 28 - naming baby girl
August 29 – pain again
Sept. – issues arise with seeing son (9/11) Lots of family pics. Gets custody every other week. Lands two jobs (9/23 and 9/29)
October 2014 – Hit rock bottom ….but things looking up. New job(s). Lost their home somehow but looking for new one. Pain starts again (October 9th and 10th) (October 20th looking up.
Baby shower – 18th
October 2014 – November - off the radar.
December 2014 – Ember is born. Pic
January - March 2015 – positive nothing to note
April – rant – little mention of Ember
May – July – very little posts – just pictures of reunited couple.

You waded through all that too - wow! I did too one night when I just couldn't sleep, but I didn't take the time to summarize. Thanks so much for doing that. The other thing I kept noticing was how he was "done with Facebook FOREVER" numerous times and back a few days later. The times he was REALLY done with Facebook temporarily he was gone for months. I noticed JG looked fairly pregnant in their wedding pictures. I kept thinking "aww that's baby Ember." I missed the note about Cypress bridge.

I also noticed, and probably because it hits me too, he seems to get really emotional around 9/11.

I kept wondering about the various jobs he got. He talked about several but did he ever keep any of them?

I'm not sure, but I think the rants about at least one of his "exes" are about someone he dated after his son's mother. Son's mother seems to be really supportive of him now and he was getting to see his son more, so I think they're different women. It's hard to tell, though.

I have to keep reminding myself how young these two parents are. JG is barely out of high school and MG isn't/wasn't much older.

 

[CoverMeCagney]

Tyler with Alicia A. The Prayers for Ember page is run by her. I don't recall any more children but the other was an ex as well according to his posts .

Thank you. Read through the posts again and yes, Alicia is T's mum. Alyssa must have been a girlfriend between Alicia and Jamie, he seems to have been with her around the time T was born (spring summer 2012). Complex relationships by the looks of things.

 

[nikb]

OK I am not naive & I don't always want to believe the best in people because humans are unpredictable creatures. Oh and I previously worked in LE (Intelligence dept). BUT, I am still not 100% sure MG did anything to Ember... I can't help but wonder if there any remote chance he was actually going somewhere because he knew someone had her. It was one of my suggested scenarios when we first heard that he had obtained a weapon. Plus the fact he wouldn't "surrender" to police means either he's guilty & thick and didn't believe they would kill him OR he was so sure of his innocence he didn't want to be arrested and not get to where he was intending to go.

Damnit, he's dead, yet there are still no answers. This one will bug me until we find out!
:tantrum:

I'm with you, I still feel like there's some small chance he really was on some vigilante mission to save his daughter. Maybe I've watched too many movies.

 

[hisjerseygirl]

marking my spot.

WHERE is ember?

 

[nikb]

Couple more catch up posts -

Cops need to learn where both families buried their pets.

What a horrible thought (not criticizing you, them!), but you're right. MG was big into pets, especially dogs.

I don't think that was going to stop him. It's like a drunk driver, you can take all the driver license from them, but that doesn't stop them from driving.

Yeah, that story about the baby in the er, wouldn't JG and her family been right on that. And we would of [sic] heard about it before now.

Is MG the only son in the family? And whatever he says is the gospel truth? I try to figure out why the excuses for all of his mistakes and poor judgment.

He talks about his brother, so I assume he's not the only son in the family.

So true about the license. It drives me nuts when people say "it's illegal to drive drunk" or "it's illegal to own an automatic weapon" - as if the people who do these things CARE that it's illegal. It's illegal to do all kinds of things including kidnap, kill, etc. as well but it happens. The ones who care if it's illegal don't do these things, IMO.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

ITA! The reporter says in this video that she met with MG's father, mother, cousins, friends and neighbors. She says:

Reporter: They tell me Matthew's behavior over the last couple of days has been strange but they say he's been very stressed and upset over Ember's disappearance. They tell me Matthew fled from LE because he was following up on a possible lead in Oregon. They say he took a gun to protect himself, not harm anyone, and to this very moment they say there's no way Matthew's involved in Ember's disappearance; he simply loves Ember with all of his heart.

WG: Like I said, anybody at all that'd been around him and her together, they would know there's nothing Matthew could do to harm that child. Love, support, everything else, you couldn't ask for a better dad.

http://m.krcrtv.com/couple-talks-about-being-carjacked-by-matthew-graham/34149042

BTW the reporter says she'll have more from the family at 6:30 tonight “as they share with me their message to Matthew, whether he's dead or alive. A message they want him to hear in hopes it will bring back baby Ember home soon.” I don't know the timestamp of that interview but it'll be interesting.

Meanwhile, here's what a witness to the shooting said:

"I mean, I've never been surrounded by gunfire like that,” Sargenti said in a phone call only with KRCR News Channel 7. “[An officer was] flailing his arm at me to get back inside of my gate."

The view for much of the media Monday was quite distant, with a police tape perimeter set up a block away from the Francis Street shooting. But ask Mike Sargenti what he saw and the audio and visual was vivid.

"We heard the conversation clear as day,” said Sargenti, describing the standoff with Graham and law enforcement officers. “They made every attempt for him to surrender and he wouldn't surrender."

http://www.krcrtv.com/news/local/fatal-shooting-witness-speaks-while-stuck-in-home/34152330

Thank you for these quotes...

I wonder why MG didn't borrow someone's car (family member, friend, etc.)if he was heading to OR to research tips regarding Ember?...

Instead of holding a couple at gun point to "borrow" their car?

:waitasec:

 

[nikb]

Not much new, but a new story to me: http://www.kcra.com/news/shasta-county-authorities-to-continue-search-for-baby/34166162. It says they're still searching for Ember. I hope so.

 

[nikb]

Thank you for these quotes...

I wonder why MG didn't borrow someone's car (family member, friend, etc.)if he was heading to OR to research tips regarding Ember?...

Instead of holding a couple at gun point to "borrow" their car?

:waitasec:

I keep wondering if that's why LE issued that statement about anyone aiding him. It seems he had many people he could borrow a car from, some probably question-free, and yet he went this route instead.

I also wonder what would've happened if that couple didn't get up to go get the paper and think "hmmm something's not right here."

Was he just going to keep walking to Oregon? Where is his baby girl Ember?

 

[SweetT]

They didnt ask any of you for ID? Did they ask her name or anything? It surprises me because they would need to know for liability and legal reasons if nothing else.

I took my little niece to an ER one time and they asked for her name and verified her existence, and her mom met us there.

No we were shocked they didn't ask for id we told them her name her mommy was out of state at the time. .they just took our word for it. .hospital was in Harrison Arkansas

She was living with us had just had her for about a week we had picked her up in Texas. .her mommy didn't come out for about a month

 

[2Hope4]

:thinking:
My granddaughter is missing. Police think my son knows. Son in trouble before. Son gets arrested again. Son is actively using drugs. Son last known person with child. Father states bond doesn't matter because son will be arrested again. Son is released from jail. Baby still missing. Son steals gun, money, cellphone and is gone.

Now during this time IF there was a tip in Oregon, wth didn't family or friends notify the hospital and LE in Oregon?? Where's that Oregon baby now? Why isn't family at that Oregon hospital?? Cause they KNOW that if a baby is there, it's not Ember...

 

[menmo]

Some posts SBM for space

What may have been the case is there was a plan for the family to get back together and as of that moment the trailer home was a starting point. We don't know if there was talk of moving into a larger mobile home, or adding to one of the existing places.

Sometimes people's best they can do aren't good enough. They should have, could have waited for a better place for Ember.

RSBBM

Drug abuse and mental illness is quite common.

Would you agree though that mental illness can sometimes be caused by excessive drug use?

Family is trying too hard to present him in a positive light...and coming off sounding foolish and/or in "cahoots", Imo.

Agree. I think not only are they trying to save what people think of him, but also their family as a whole.
I wish someone would tell them they are only making it worse. I never judge someone by their family until I see they are somewhat the same.
Enough already. Be most concerned about your missing grandchild that is unable to make choices for herself.
:banghead:

JMO

 

[PLT]

You waded through all that too - wow! I did too one night when I just couldn't sleep, but I didn't take the time to summarize. Thanks so much for doing that. The other thing I kept noticing was how he was "done with Facebook FOREVER" numerous times and back a few days later. The times he was REALLY done with Facebook temporarily he was gone for months. I noticed JG looked fairly pregnant in their wedding pictures. I kept thinking "aww that's baby Ember." I missed the note about Cypress bridge.

I also noticed, and probably because it hits me too, he seems to get really emotional around 9/11.

I kept wondering about the various jobs he got. He talked about several but did he ever keep any of them?

I'm not sure, but I think the rants about at least one of his "exes" are about someone he dated after his son's mother. Son's mother seems to be really supportive of him now and he was getting to see his son more, so I think they're different women. It's hard to tell, though.

I have to keep reminding myself how young these two parents are. JG is barely out of high school and MG isn't/wasn't much older.

Yes - I just felt compelled to see what was happening in prior years. I event branched out to some other pages but didn't want to make comments on those. You are right - there was another ex and from what I gathered. 3 within less than 5 years resulting in 2 children, custody case, marriage, several jobs (due to missing work because of back issues), etc. I think his first posts tell a lot about his family background (divorce, drinking early on with Dad - moving him back and forth many times).

 

[Cubby]

Would you agree though that mental illness can sometimes be caused by excessive drug use?

Yes. Additionally symptoms of substance abuse can mimic mental illness.

 

[Cubby]

Yes - I just felt compelled to see what was happening in prior years. I event branched out to some other pages but didn't want to make comments on those. You are right - there was another ex and from what I gathered. 3 within less than 5 years resulting in 2 children, custody case, marriage, several jobs (due to missing work because of back issues), etc. I think his first posts tell a lot about his family background (divorce, drinking early on with Dad - moving him back and forth many times).

Respectfully, I think we can all agree there is some dysfunction in MG's life. How is analyzing the history of the dysfunction going to help find Ember?

 

[GigTu]

I think MG had a lot of predictable behaviors for the circumstances. If we put our heads together and focus, we might be able to come up with some rather obvious locations he might have taken Ember to. In my mind, all of them would include places he had been to and was fond of. That clear creek bridge would be on my list.

 

[nikb]

Since we don't have much new and we're speculating - does anyone know where MG's Mom was when he stole the gun, cash, and phone from her?

It must have been nearby but it's been reported she lived in Florida. Was she at a hotel? Staying with relatives? Did he happen to catch her alone, or no one knew she had this stuff on her? Or did they just not help stop him, or defend her? I wish we knew more about this particular incident. I could be totally wrong but I have this feeling maybe he confessed at least part of what he knew to his mom. I'm still on the fence about how I feel in terms of whether he did anything to Ember, and if so whether it was intentional, but I do think he knew what happened.

 

[GigTu]

From what I understand, it took place at a hospital. I apologize if that's incorrect.

 

[nikb]

I think MG had a lot of predictable behaviors for the circumstances. If we put our heads together and focus, we might be able to come up with some rather obvious locations he might have taken Ember to. In my mind, all of them would include places he had been to and was fond of. That clear creek bridge would be on my list.

I think that's part of why I keep looking at his old social media posts, during the times when he was happy. He seemed to be fairly close to his family - lots of loving messages to his parents, brother, etc. Yes that bridge would definitely be on my list too. Also a nearby park that included lots of geese - Ember was a bit too young but maybe his son liked to feed them.

I must admit I'm really confused as to which family members lived nearby and which didn't. It seems like they really bounce around between areas which makes it confusing for figuring out where he might have gone, looked for help, perhaps (hate to type this) hidden a baby, etc.