CA CA - Heidi Planck, 39, left son’s football game in Downey, dog found in Los Angeles, 17 Oct 2021 #2

[ringbearer]

my point is, that when parents are still married, it’s not an issue. So why would doctors automatically assume they need to get consent of both parents? My husband has never had to give consent to a doctor or get consent from his ex wife. They’ve never been asked to do so.

They don't assume it. They ask specific questions about marital status and custody orders. Just for example, Of course, the dad could lie and say he had sole legal custody, but that wouldn't bode to well for him if mom turns back up -- especially if she's been fighting hard for custody all along.

 

[ringbearer]

well he claims they have such an amicable coparenting situation, so it shouldn’t be a huge deal if he took their kid to a doctor while she was missing. Right? Jmo

It's not up to him -- it's up to the doctor. jmo

 

[bears10]

They don't assume it. They ask specific questions about marital status and custody orders. Just for example, Of course, the dad could lie and say he had sole legal custody, but that wouldn't bode to well for him if mom turns back up -- especially if she's been fighting hard for custody all along.

we have never been asked any questions like that at a doctors office.

 

[Gobstopper]

It's not up to him -- it's up to the doctor. jmo

I think a doctor would understand that you can't give your consent when you're missing. MOO

 

[ringbearer]

we have never been asked any questions like that at a doctors office.

I'm just telling you my experience. I have been asked, frequently. And I've even had to give a copy of my custody agreement to my kids' school. If you go to the ER, they will ask you there. Idk why it hasn't been asked to you. And I'm not trying to convince you of anything about this guy. I'm just saying, for me, I understand why he would do that. Just the money alone can be a huge issue. I was paying a LOT of child support and to keep sending that to my ex when he was hospitalized and couldn't use it to support my child while I could use it for that purpose, made a HUGE difference.

 

[happyday]

Chiming in to say I find the whole urgent need for custody and therapy very very odd. I’m all for therapy—I love it. But she’s been missing just a few days. Why would their child need therapy? That’s like telling him that his mom is probably not coming back. It’s too soon for that IMO. Weird thing to be focusing on. And if he thought he really really needed that therapy right now, would a doctor really even ask about parental consent? I’ve taken my kids to a bazillion doctor appointments (including therapy) and not once has any doctor ever asked for their dad’s consent. I’m not buying it.

 

[bears10]

I'm just telling you my experience. I have been asked, frequently. And I've even had to give a copy of my custody agreement to my kids' school. If you go to the ER, they will ask you there. Idk why it hasn't been asked to you. And I'm not trying to convince you of anything about this guy. I'm just saying, for me, I understand why he would do that. Just the money alone can be a huge issue. I was paying a LOT of child support and to keep sending that to my ex when he was hospitalized and couldn't use to support my child while I could use it for that purpose, made a HUGE difference.

im very curious if this gets asked to parents who are still together. Maybe you have a different situation, but what you’re saying is in no way normal in my world. Jmo

 

[ringbearer]

im very curious if this gets asked to parents who are still together. Maybe you have a different situation, but what you’re saying is in no way normal in my world. Jmo

Last post on this, stg lol. They only ask if you tell them you are not married, and they DO ask that of new patients and in the schools, ime.

 

[CharlestonGal]

my point is, that when parents are still married, it’s not an issue. So why would doctors automatically assume they need to get consent of both parents? My husband has never had to give consent to a doctor or get consent from his ex wife. They’ve never been asked to do so.

No idea. Maybe CA is weird? My ex is the one who set our daughter up to get braces. I never had to sign anything. I set her up with a new pediatrician and did all the consent forms myself. My ex was never asked to sign anything. I'm also the one who took her to therapy when she developed anxiety as a teen. I was never asked for her father's consent to anything. We both had occasions to take her to the ER or urgent care on our share time.

I've never had a doctor or dentist or therapist ask for the other parent for anything. Much less for custody documents. As long as one parent was present, that is all they required. But maybe that's just my state. We were in a 50/50 time share as well. No child support either way as our incomes were comparable.

Even when I was deployed and my time share was 0% the custody orders were not amended as it was seen as a temporary situation. He carried on taking her to the dentist, doctor, therapist while I was out of the country without any kind of problem. In fact, I was legally protected from him doing something like this (gaining full legal and physical custody in my absence). That may be because I was active duty and protected under the Soldiers and Sailors Relief Act. moo

 

[MountainGal33]

IMO EX-husband took laptop because he already knew stuff was going down with company - it's why he told news that immediately he believes his ex-wife disappearance is connected to work. And the proof for me is JS asking for that laptop and not for Heidi. I think he was trying to protect her somehow and knew enough to take the computer.

But here's a weird thought - if Heidi were snatched behind that building could that little dog have just wondered unnoticed into the lobby and onto an elevator - I looked at the pics of the lobby its huge...

DOGS can and do sometimes go unnoticed. The security men aren't looking down at the floor....or reading something.

Anyways could the dog have just wandered into an elevator and it was called up to the 28th floor?

We know she didn't enter the building because they would have a record and called a tenant upon her arrival.

 

[TTF14]

IMO husband took laptop because he already knew stuff was going down with company - it's why he told news that immediately he believes his ex-wife disappearance is connected to work. And the proof for me is JS asking for that laptop and not for Heidi. I think he was trying to protect her somehow and knew enough to take the computer.

But here's a weird thought - if Heidi were snatched behind that building could that little dog have just wondered unnoticed into the lobby and onto an elevator - I looked at the pics of the lobby its huge...

DOGS can and do sometimes go unnoticed. The security men aren't looking down at the floor....or reading something.

Anyways could the dog have just wandered into an elevator and it was called up to the 28th floor.

We know she didn't enter the building because they would have a record and called a tenant upon her arrival.

I guess it could happen if the dog was used to being on elevators. My dog is terrified of elevators.

 

[bears10]

IMO husband took laptop because he already knew stuff was going down with company - it's why he told news that immediately he believes his ex-wife disappearance is connected to work. And the proof for me is JS asking for that laptop and not for Heidi. I think he was trying to protect her somehow and knew enough to take the computer.

But here's a weird thought - if Heidi were snatched behind that building could that little dog have just wondered unnoticed into the lobby and onto an elevator - I looked at the pics of the lobby its huge...

DOGS can and do sometimes go unnoticed. The security men aren't looking down at the floor....or reading something.

Anyways could the dog have just wandered into an elevator and it was called up to the 28th floor.

We know she didn't enter the building because they would have a record and called a tenant upon her arrival.

he’s her ex husband though, not her husband, and he’s also remarried… as amicable as can be, I can’t really imagine an ex husband thinking that much into it. I think he was nosy if anything. And we only heard about JS asking for the laptop from the ex husband himself. Jmo

 

[Rhibread]

Just throwing this out there... If JW had, when making the initial appointment, prefaced by telling the therapist that HP had gone missing, would this then be something that could not be ignored? Meaning, since he's told the therapist HP is missing/unable to consent, would that mean the therapist couldn't overlook the consent issue since it's already been brought to their attention, thus prompting the need for full custody? [does that make sense? I can be more clear if needed lol I just don't know how to phrase this]

 

[bears10]

Just throwing this out there... If JW had, when making the initial appointment, prefaced by telling the therapist that HP had gone missing, would this then be something that could not be ignored? Meaning, since he's told the therapist HP is missing/unable to consent, would that mean the therapist couldn't overlook the consent issue since it's already been brought to their attention, thus prompting the need for full custody? [does that make sense? I can be more clear if needed]

that would mean he took their son to a therapist the day or two after Heidi went missing. Seems premature imo.

 

[MountainGal33]

he’s her ex husband though, not her husband, and he’s also remarried… as amicable as can be, I can’t really imagine an ex husband thinking that much into it. I think he was nosy if anything. And we only heard about JS asking for the laptop from the ex husband himself. Jmo

thanks corrected the "ex" part - and you have a good point.

 

[Rhibread]

that would mean he took their son to a therapist the day or two after Heidi went missing. Seems premature imo.

true.

ETA: I'm searching for a possible explanation for this but now that you've pointed out the timeline that doesn't actually sound all that reasonable. I'm probably thinking HP had been gone for longer than a few days when he got the court order because they only just released that info last night... hmmm...

 

[Gobstopper]

he’s her ex husband though, not her husband, and he’s also remarried… as amicable as can be, I can’t really imagine an ex husband thinking that much into it. I think he was nosy if anything. And we only heard about JS asking for the laptop from the ex husband himself. Jmo

Yeah he seems like he's looking out for himself more than he is for Heidi IMO.

 

[UltraViolet4545]

It’s possible the police know a lot more than is public information and have clued dad in. Perhaps there is some inclination mom is not coming back even though they can’t/haven’t released that information publicly yet. There is often so much more going on behind the scenes that we know nothing about.

 

[otto]

that would mean he took their son to a therapist the day or two after Heidi went missing. Seems premature imo.

It was the child's birthday and his mother was a no-show for a scheduled pick-up from school. She had been missing for several days, even though it was a few days before she was reported missing. The child would be rather upset, and in my opinion it's best to address this from the beginning rather than let the child suffer for weeks or months before addressing the emotional upset.

I do think that because they had shared custody, consent for treatment by a therapist was required from both parents. Therefore an emergency custody order had to be put in place so the child could discuss his fears with a professional.

 

[Rhibread]

It was the child's birthday and his mother was a no-show for a scheduled pick-up from school. She had been missing for several days, even though it was a few days before she was reported missing. The child would be rather upset, and in my opinion it's best to address this from the beginning rather than let the child suffer for weeks or months before addressing the emotional upset.

I do think that because they had shared custody, consent for treatment by a therapist was required from both parents. Therefore an emergency custody order had to be put in place so the child could discuss his fears with a professional.

I believe his birthday was actually this past Thursday