GUILTY CA - Madyson Middleton, 8, Santa Cruz, 26 July 2015 - #3 *Arrest*

[human]

There is also the energing style caled Respectful Parenting, which, at least, borrows from Montessori.
If you're on Facebook you can check out:
Janet Lansbury: Elevating Childcare
The Way Of the Peaceful Parent
Lisa Sunbury
I believe they have wensites also.
There are more which I'll post as I see them.

I have tried, mostly successfully, to use this approach with my grandson beginning when he was a few months old. It may sound awkward at first but it is effective if you stick with it.
I won't try to explain the approach other than to say it is grounded in respect for the infant/child and his/her ability to respond positively to this style. Don't give up; keep at it as it works.

Middle daughter went to International Montesorri school, Here in US but American is different. magda Gerber has great ideas as well. And what is Emilio? Can't remember

 

[Mamamerced]

@human,
Reggio Emilia and Magda Gerber's RIE approach are similar. I use RIE (Resources in Infant Education) only because I saw the effectiveness of it in my grandson's daycare.

A brief (a bit bureaucratic sounding for my tastes but It was the 1st I found)
explanation of the 2 styles: http://www.christopherandrobin.co.nz/philosophies

 

[margarita25]

Also OT: Big hugs from the wife of a retired teacher! You may be making a bigger difference for this little boy than you will ever know. Or, maybe in 25 years you will hear from him, thanking you. This has brought joy to my dh from a few of his students.

(Thank you so much! :heart: Hugs back at all yall! )

 

[everybodhi]

In my state, for several years now, in order to get a teaching license or in order to renew, you have to take classes on warning signs of mental health issues as well as interventions.

AJ may have been depressed. I don't know. I would be very depressed if I was a monster like him. And I say this because of the depravity of what he did to a little " friend". Not that either is OK but doing it to a child he has interacted with just disgusts me to no end.

I think his suicide talk was all to get people enmeshed into his web of control. He talked about it but no attempts?

Teens are so sweet in how they do come to the aid of those they see crying out. They need to learn the signs of a psychopath, I feel.

He had so many people involved in positive interactions with him. Being the counselor at the camp, for instance.

Someone that kills with such savageness and then hangs around while the search goes on.

Since I can't talk in generalities about things that could have impacted him, Here are some things.

Father- violent and was imprisoned.

Mother probably traumatized by cheating boyfriend(s) in a country where she is foreign ( I can speak to this as I retired to a country where I do not speak the language nor am I part of the culture. It is a very humbling experience although hubby, and I are now part of the community even though communication is a huge issue as well as understanding what the social norms are. The people are so sweet to us.)

Not having enough income must have been very challenging and stressful.

They were homeless. Who watched him while she worked? How much energy was available because of stress in life?

Throwing a wine glass at him bothers me a lot. I find that interesting behavior.

I am wondering if he does have a juvenile record. LE said they cannot discuss if he has a record. If he did not, would they not say it?

A girl that Adrian was trying to gain sympathy from by threatening suicide is the same girl he told that his mom threw a wine glass at him, that is the evidence we have that Reggie threw anything at her son.
I'm not sure I believe Adrian, it just looks like more manipulation to me.

 

[human]

@human,
Reggio Emilia and Magda Gerber's RIE approach are similar. I use RIE (Resources in Infant Education) only because I saw the effectiveness of it in my grandson's daycare.

A brief (a bit bureaucratic sounding for my tastes but It was the 1st I found)
explanation of the 2 styles: http://www.christopherandrobin.co.nz/philosophies

I met a couple from CA this year that lived in NZ. He did stuff for the movie The Hobbit. They were totally amazed with education in New Zealand. They said their three year old daughter was using an actual hammer and nails. I forget what else, but they loved it.

 

[HarvestMoon]

http://wthitv.com/2015/08/04/maddy-middleton-murder-suspect-may-be-tied-to-death-threat-in-2014/

 

[Inthedetails]

http://wthitv.com/2015/08/04/maddy-middleton-murder-suspect-may-be-tied-to-death-threat-in-2014/

From the link:

In November, an unnamed individual sent a threatening email to Santa Cruz High School, claiming a high-powered rifle would be used to kill fellow students in the cafeteria. Gonzalez was a sophomore there.

A day after the threat, someone anonymously reached out to the Santa Cruz Sentinel newspaper claiming responsibility but said he was not “homicidal, just a thrill seeker”. That person also said he was wracked with guilt and had “crippling anxiety.”

That is the same phrase the teenager used on his Instagram page.

 

[everybodhi]

I have been reading about another 15 year old boy that murdered a 12 year old girl in Utah and his juvenile records were exposed by numerous news agencies right away.
I guess it's different in Utah.

"The boy has a misdemeanor juvenile record of possession of drug paraphernalia, theft and burglary, with the oldest documented charge dating to last fall, according to court papers released Tuesday. He had been put on probation less than two weeks before Vijil's death, the documents show."
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/utah-boy-15-charged-with-aggravated-murder-in-12-year-old-girls-death/

 

[AmyPond]

So if he (or anyone else for that matter) made such a serious sounding threat to a school...wouldn't that have been investigated or something??

 

[Lilibet]

Here is a statement by the friend he confided in about suicide:

After Katie heard what happened to A.J., she went through her old Facebook messages with him and found one that said "I'll be gone eventually" and another that said "Something big will happen in high school."

BBM

I wonder how old this message is and if she reported it at the time and what was done. How weird that he would contact the newspaper. I assume if he reached out anonymously it wasn't by email. Was he wanting help or attention or what?

http://www.mercurynews.com/crime-courts/ci_28566114/teens-turbulent-family-life-and-death-santa-cruz

 

[Madeleine74]

Why would a fellow teen report "something big will happen in high school?" High school is in the future. Could be perfectly innocuous. I don't see that as an immediately waving red flag for homicidal intent.

Lots of teens are uber-dramatic, it's part of the journey of being a teen. I don't fault that fellow classmate for not saying anything. There's nothing to suggest "in the future I will kidnap and murder an 8 yr old girl" or even something that suggests a homicidal violent outcome.

 

[Lilibet]

Why would a fellow teen report "something big will happen in high school?" High school is in the future. Could be perfectly innocuous. I don't see that as an immediately waving red flag.

Good catch. That's true. It could have been innocuous and they may not have been in highschool yet. I was reading it in the context of her comments to the newspaper about suicide and it seemed more connected. But that was in retrospect as she looked back at his comments. It may have meant nothing at the time. I wasn't faulting her, just wondering. Some kids have headed off highschool shootings by reporting what friends have said.

 

[blue22]

The reality is unless every parent is educated (and then tested) on exactly what to look for, there won't be detection of potential evilness in children. Again, most parents do not think their own children would ever hurt someone else, unprovoked. And even if they did know what to look for, most parents would automatically assume their son or daughter was pure and innocent because that's just how people roll.

It's not a common occurrence, which is why it makes such big news nationally and internationally when something like this case happens.

Everyone says "I just want to stop this from happening again." So how are you helping to stop it? What are you gonna do... lock up all kids between the ages of 10 and 18 just in case one of them might be a future killer?

There is a vast spectrum between thinking your child is pure and innocent...and thinking your child capable of rape and murder. I don't think most people, parent or not would suspect a 15 year old capable of that. I think many of us have been around troubled or strange teenagers and never thought, "he is totally capable or raping and murdering a child."

 

[Madeleine74]

There is a vast spectrum between thinking your child is pure and innocent...and thinking your child capable of rape and murder. I don't think most people, parent or not would suspect a 15 year old capable of that. I think many of us have been around troubled or strange teenagers and never thought, "he is totally capable or raping and murdering a child."

Exactly my point. Which is why preventing this kind of crime remains ever elusive.

 

[SophieRose]

Here is a statement by the friend he confided in about suicide:



BBM

I wonder how old this message is and if she reported it at the time and what was done. How weird that he would contact the newspaper. I assume if he reached out anonymously it wasn't by email. Was he wanting help or attention or what?

http://www.mercurynews.com/crime-courts/ci_28566114/teens-turbulent-family-life-and-death-santa-cruz

I thought she said she said she was friends with him in junior high, and then didn't have much to do with him in high school because he was always depressed. So it could have been just after jr high graduation, he's saying something big will happen in high school. Or maybe she remained facebook friends with him, while not having anything to do with him in high school.

 

[human]

There is a vast spectrum between thinking your child is pure and innocent...and thinking your child capable of rape and murder. I don't think most people, parent or not would suspect a 15 year old capable of that. I think many of us have been around troubled or strange teenagers and never thought, "he is totally capable or raping and murdering a child."

Actually, I felt that about my former neighbor boy across the street. He must be in his 20's and I am shocked , that I know of, that he has not committed some horrible crime.

I reported him for slamming his 4 year old sisters head on a hood of a car. He climbed into our house and stole my daughter's underwear, ( He told me when I asked him) . He sexually abused his cousin.

His mother, unknown to us, was a meth head having multple affairs while her hubby ( boy's step dad) worked long hours.

Nothing ever happened to this kid in terms of accountability while he did these things about age 14. Real father never saw him. Step dad was nice

 

[blue22]

Exactly my point. Which is why preventing this kind of crime remains ever elusive.

I realized after I posted that I was saying the same thing you already had. LOL.

And I agree with you. Obviously

 

[Tealgrove]

Exactly my point. Which is why preventing this kind of crime remains ever elusive.

I know what you are saying but I can actually tell you that I have a friend that is extremely afraid of her teenage son's intent and is afraid of him herself.

I picked up on stuff with him several years ago and told another friend that I felt that "we would be reading about him the papers one day and it wouldn't be good". We all agreed and his parents are aware.

OOOOOPPPPSSSS...wrong quote but I'm too technically challenged to fix it.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

From the link:

A day after the threat, someone anonymously reached out to the Santa Cruz Sentinel newspaper claiming responsibility but said he was not “homicidal, just a thrill seeker”. That person also said he was wracked with guilt and had “crippling anxiety.”

When I think of someone who has crippling anxiety I envision them curled up in a fetal position in a corner unable to do anything.

I certainly don't envision someone who claims they have crippling anxiety being capable of luring a small child to their apartment for the purpose of binding her, beating her, stabbing her , raping her, invading her body with a foreign object, and strangling her.

It takes a person with nerves of steel and a heart just as cold to carryout all of those sadistic torturous acts AJG did.

But of course it isn't surprising. We live in a society now where no matter what a person does they want to blame something else or someone.

If this is how he reacts to anxiety then I am so glad he was caught quickly so he cant do this again. All teens his age go through periods of anxiety and yet they aren't out doing what he did to Maddy.

I don't think the defense has much of a defense in this case so of course they will try to say he has mental illness. They have no other defense and I don't think the jury will buy it for one second either. Society as a whole is getting sick and tired of the blame something else or someone game by these dangerous murder defendants. It shows he knew exactly what he was doing including getting rid of Maddy's little body very quickly after he had his way with her and murdered her.

He fits the profile of a pedophile who murders their victim. Usually within 45 minutes after the child is lured or taken they are dead and discarded quickly.

I don't believe he has a conscience either nor feels guilty. Anyone that possessed even an ounce of compassion or a conscience couldn't have ever done all the many things he did to Maddy in the hour he terrorized her.

Step by step his acts became more and more hideous/sadistic. He knew she was totally defenseless and he was in full control of not only what happened to her before she died but her destiny.

I think the only truth he told was when he says he is a thrill seeker. His thrill was top priority and Maddy wasn't even considered except to be used as a tool to satisfy that thrill.

Reminds me of how BTK couldn't stay away from contacting the media anonymously.

IMO

 

[blue22]

I know what you are saying but I can actually tell you that I have a friend that is extremely afraid of her teenage son's intent and is afraid of him herself.

I picked up on stuff with him several years ago and told another friend that I felt that "we would be reading about him the papers one day and it wouldn't be good". We all agreed and his parents are aware.

OOOOOPPPPSSSS...wrong quote but I'm too technically challenged to fix it.

There will always be the people who have obvious signs of being a danger to others.

But, there are kids (and I truly think this will be the case here) that might be strange, or awkward, or even depressed...but no one would suspect they do anything even close to this. You see, unless someone is so obviously and outwardly disturbed that everyone in contact with that person sees it...what is society to do? Millions of kids and adults are growing up in and have survived horrific childhoods. A tiny, tiny percentage go on to do something like this. From what we know now, AJ does not seem so set apart that anyone could have seen this coming. That might change the more we learn, but IMO...there were probably not outward signs of a monster this depraved