CA - Mom charged in death of 4 yo Daniel Corby

[PHB]

If these parents didn't want thier kids to suffer, why did they kill them in such horrible ways?
Daniel and Scarlett were held under water, that must have been terrifiying. There's woman whose name I can't find, I think she was from long island, who just got arrested for feeding her disabled daughter something with peanuts in it, knowing she had a peanut allergy. Ever have your throat close up? I haven't but I've done ambulance calls for beestings and asthma attacks, and it seems terrifiying. If you don't want him to suffer, why not just dissolve sleeping pills in his juice?

 

[Etilema]

Over 400 persons commit suicide annually in Ireland out of which about 100 drown themselves.

http://ilsf.org/node/1733

A case here: Sarah Townsend - http://www.nj.com/mercer/index.ssf/2011/07/sarah_townsends_death_is_ruled.html

I believe that suicide by drowning is usually a matter of jumping off a bridge or otherwise immersing in a large body of water in such a way one cannot escape. I had the impression from the news story that this woman tried to drown herself in the tub.

What does it mean that he wouldn't have a life without HER? Was she already planning to kill herself and didn't think it fair to leave him behind? Or is she talking about when she eventually dies of old age?

Sounds like the father was not on board with his wife's ideas about this, anyway.

 

[Etilema]

If these parents didn't want thier kids to suffer, why did they kill them in such horrible ways?
Daniel and Scarlett were held under water, that must have been terrifiying. There's woman whose name I can't find, I think she was from long island, who just got arrested for feeding her disabled daughter something with peanuts in it, knowing she had a peanut allergy. Ever have your throat close up? I haven't but I've done ambulance calls for beestings and asthma attacks, and it seems terrifiying. If you don't want him to suffer, why not just dissolve sleeping pills in his juice?

Probably originally thought it could seem to be an accident. Accidentally drowned on the tub, accidentally fed something with peanuts.

JMO

 

[Etilema]

Still not a thing online about a funeral for Daniel.
I still cannot find a clear picture of Daniel either.

Another wonderful post on this subject:

http://illusionofcompetence.blogspot.com/2012/04/killing-words.html

Also this:

"A lot of people, they get pretty desperate," she said.
"We don't know what caused this mother to do this.
But every mother I know who has a child with special needs has a moment just like that."

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking...c-children-speak-out-sunnyvale-murder-suicide

I heard about this quote from a family member I'm not particularly fond of... in a context that wasn't particularly tactful.
She basically asked me if I had considered killing both of my kids, or only the one SHE considers disabled. :thud:

So I am going to clarify that.

I thought about placing my kids for adoption.
I have often wondered whether my kids would have been better off with college educated experts for parents.

However, I have NEVER "had a moment just like that."
I have NEVER gotten that desperate.
I NEVER considered killing my children.

Didn't consider it when I was pregnant as a teenager and KNEW my child would have a "disability."
Killing her was "perfectly legal" and "strongly advised" at that point. :sick:

Wasn't homicidal for the weeks in the hospital with BOTH kids, with little sleep, no answers and condescending professionals.

I have worked with a lot of parents with children with special needs in the last 10 years. Newborn to adult.
I know a few that have placed the child for adoption after a year or two, because they realized they couldn't handle it.
I can think of ONE parent that has definitely had "a moment just like that." If that child is killed... I won't be surprised.

Maybe myself and my friends are the exception to the rule, though I find it hard to believe.
Maybe most people do think about killing their kids with special needs at some point. :waitasec:

If that's true, I guess it explains why 90% prenatally diagnosed just choose the legal route before they are born. :twocents:

To be fair, tons of people said this about mothers of small children (WITHOUT disabilities) when Andrea Yates drowned all of hers. I read a lot of comments, even newspaper opinion pieces saying that other mothers felt sympathy for her because all mothers knew what it felt like to want to kill them.

The amazing thing to me is that it is not a matter of whether you ever really had a strong urge to do something very wrong, it's whether you actually followed through. Leaving aside the case of Andrea Yates, because she was shown to be actually psychotic, different people may feel like committing murder at different times, but restrain themselves--the fact that someone can sympathize with the impulse doesn't mean that those who don't restrain themselves should be treated leniently. Obviously.

JMO

 

[Flutterby80]

I think when a parent kills their child...disabled or otherwise...it speaks to that parent's immaturity and selfishness, NOT to anything about the child. So I would prefer to read a headline that says "Selfish, Immature Mother Drowns Her Son" rather than "Mother Drowns Her Autistic Son". I believe in ZERO TOLERANCE for killing children. The media takes something very black and white and makes it seem gray. It's irresponsible. If you want to mention that the child had a disability in the story, maybe that's ok. Maybe. But in the headline? Why? Show some respect to the deceased.

 

[MsFacetious]

Eligible For Release, Bail Amount: $10,000,000

Court date: 07/18/2012

http://apps.sdsheriff.net/wij/wijDetail.aspx?BookNum=JmPJ53GUubVqO/2PZDi1mXMRkLYV8MFgCxY7hRkz+ow=

 

[Flutterby80]

Is that 10 MILLION??? Awesome!

 

[MsFacetious]

I agree it IS awesome. :woohoo:
This crime certainly warrants a $10 million bail.

I DO wish that Texas would decide the same about torching a 12 year old.

Found Deceased TX - Mona Nelson charged w/ Murder of Jonathan Foster, 12, Houston, 24 Dec 2010 #12 - Page 11 - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community


I think drowning an autistic 4 year old and torching a 12 year old are certainly on the same level and BOTH worth a $10 million bail (rather than $250k.)

 

[Caligram]

It's time people learn that there is NO acceptable excuse for killing your child. Hopefully, blaming the child is going to get you more jail time for harming a small helpless individual.

 

[MsFacetious]

Court date coming up Wednesday...

Still in jail with enormous bond...

Still no good pictures of Daniel...

 

[FrayedKnot]

I posted on another thread about the times I had to walk into my bedroom, shut the door, and lie upon the floor kicking and screaming just to release my anger and frustration.

About the times I was so exasperated and mentally weary over having to repeat myself for the umpteenth time and still get no response.

About the times my fists were clenched to the point I had small, half moon cuts on my palms from my fingernails.

Yet, never did I take out my anger, or frustration, or weariness on my child. Yes, the child who through no fault of her own brought me to that point!

Because she is MY CHILD. And I am her mother. And I am the adult and she needs me to make the right decisions.

And I am an older mom. I was in my thirties when DD was born. She has ADHD and being her mom is the single most brilliant blessing of my life. But being her mom takes almost more than I have some days.

And I would NEVER end her life because I was overwhelmed. That is a BS excuse and I am glad that Daniel's mom won't be getting away with it.

 

[MsFacetious]

New court date 9/5/2012.

I am a "younger" mother. I became a mother and ceased being a teenager.
I was 18 and then 19 when my girls with special needs were born.

The "older mothers" who do this to their children amaze me even more...
The ones who tried so hard to have the child... then kill them.

And I want pictures of Daniel. Was he not even worth that much?

 

[iamnotagolem]

My son is on the spectrum. I am in no way justifying what this mom did, it is horrific and makes me sick. But I did want to clarify I noticed a couple of other posters on this thread mentioned their ASD child not needing them for love and affection, which is common with ASD kids but not all ASD kids are like that. My little is a very affectionate sweet little guy, he is very, very attached to me.

 

[justanother]

My son is also on the spectrum and like yours, he is affectionate, on his terms. He hasn't always been and i certainly treasure the moments when he just comes over and wants a hug. It must be so heartbreaking to have a child that has no emotional connection to you.

I am just reading this but wow. Killing your son because YOU can't handle him? wow. I don't believe for a second they had exhausted all avenues of help. They moved house to be near his school but what about in home services? We fought in our last town to get the small amount of services we did and we are extremely lucky to have moved to an area that is on the ball with providing services. My son gets someone here, working with him for 2 hours most days, some days more. If those services weren't available to her, there was always the option of adoption. I don't for one second kid myself into thinking my son could not live without me, sure it would be tough for someone new to learn his routines, cries, tantrums, his speech/signs etc but it's not impossible. Someone would have taken Daniel, he was 4, not 24, still young enough for a new parent to learn his disorder, learn his likes/dislikes and needs. I am just so stunned by her lame excuse and the lack of pictures speaks volumes to me. I am so sorry Daniel

 

[MsFacetious]

Still no other picture of Daniel.

Superior Court Judge Michael Smyth ruled that enough evidence was presented for the defendant to stand trial.
Arraignment was set for Sept. 19.

http://www.10news.com/news/31413280/detail.html


But Daniel was making progress.

“I saw real cognitive gains,” Duane Corby said in San Diego Superior Court, noting that the family had moved to a new school district so their son could attend classes that best suited his needs.
He said Daniel had begun to use complete sentences and could identify all the letters in the alphabet.

“I was more than willing to put everything I had into it,” the father said.
His wife was happy about the progress, but “she always wanted more.”

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/sep/05/woman-accused-drowning-son-be-tried/


Patricia Corby, 36, sobbed and rocked back-and-forth as the first witness took the stand in Wednesday's preliminary hearing. Patricia's family in the courtroom began to cry and cover their mouths upon her entrance.

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Mother-Accused-of-Drowning-Son-Appears-in-Court-168637586.html


Next court date/arraignment 9/19/2012:

http://apps.sdsheriff.net/wij/wijDetail.aspx?BookNum=JmPJ53GUubVqO/2PZDi1mXMRkLYV8MFgCxY7hRkz+ow=

 

[PMLsmom]

Man, they need to medicate her or something. I can't believe that kind of behavior was allowed???? Was she wearing headphones at one point?

 

[MsFacetious]

A Jan. 14 trial date was set...

-----------------------------

Corby's next court date is a Nov. 7 readiness conference.

http://delmar-carmelvalley.patch.co...lley-mom-accused-of-drowning-her-autistic-son


“She felt like her whole existence was dedicated to her child,’’ Escobar testified.

http://www.delmartimes.net/2012/09/...el-valley-mother-accused-of-drowning-her-son/

That is what we call parenting.


On a related note, amazingly enough, these parents managed NOT to kill their kids.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/54836136-78/autism-garrett-utah-lines.html.csp

Desperate parents surrender autistic children to state custody

Families who can’t afford mental health care, behavioral therapy, other services for their autistic kids are giving them up to the state.

 

[Shelby2]

Still not a thing online about a funeral for Daniel.
I still cannot find a clear picture of Daniel either.

Another wonderful post on this subject:

http://illusionofcompetence.blogspot.com/2012/04/killing-words.html

Also this:

"A lot of people, they get pretty desperate," she said.
"We don't know what caused this mother to do this.
But every mother I know who has a child with special needs has a moment just like that."

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking...c-children-speak-out-sunnyvale-murder-suicide

I heard about this quote from a family member I'm not particularly fond of... in a context that wasn't particularly tactful.
She basically asked me if I had considered killing both of my kids, or only the one SHE considers disabled. :thud:

So I am going to clarify that.

I thought about placing my kids for adoption.
I have often wondered whether my kids would have been better off with college educated experts for parents.

However, I have NEVER "had a moment just like that."
I have NEVER gotten that desperate.
I NEVER considered killing my children.

Didn't consider it when I was pregnant as a teenager and KNEW my child would have a "disability."
Killing her was "perfectly legal" and "strongly advised" at that point. :sick:

Wasn't homicidal for the weeks in the hospital with BOTH kids, with little sleep, no answers and condescending professionals.

I have worked with a lot of parents with children with special needs in the last 10 years. Newborn to adult.
I know a few that have placed the child for adoption after a year or two, because they realized they couldn't handle it.
I can think of ONE parent that has definitely had "a moment just like that." If that child is killed... I won't be surprised.

Maybe myself and my friends are the exception to the rule, though I find it hard to believe.
Maybe most people do think about killing their kids with special needs at some point. :waitasec:

If that's true, I guess it explains why 90% prenatally diagnosed just choose the legal route before they are born. :twocents:

Wow, I cannot believe this quote..she has never met a parent of a special needs child who hasn't had a moment like that? That is awful, both of my children have significant disabilities, and I NEVER had a moment like that. I've had my moments...but not once did I think of hurting them.

 

[Jan]

My son has a son who is autistic. The autistic boy is a twin to a normal girl. My son and his wife had always used intensive intervention and early teaching with their son to help him overcome his autism. It helps that my son is a special education teacher because he not only knew how to help his son but he knew where to find needed resources. Their love, dedication, teaching, and consistency has paid off and now at age 8 my grandson is close to being a normal child. His twin sister was also taught to help him from the time he was small and they share the same school classroom so she can help him when he needs help. They are in 3rd grade and both above grade level in their education. No way would my son and his wife have ever thought of harming their child. They always loved him just as he was and tried to help him make the most of his abilities. My first child, born when I was 19, was mentally retarded with an IQ of about 38. She was also extremely hyperactive and impulsive as a young child. I became very frustrated many times but never thought of harming her or giving her up. She is now 44 and still lives at home with us. She goes to work at a sheltered workshop every day, is very happy and always cheerful, and she is a big help around the house and with our pets. She is really a blessing to me because I am disabled and can't get around very well and she does a lot of physical jobs for me that I can't do. She gets excited just getting to mow the lawn, a job she loves and is proud of doing. She was so proud that she was able to housebreak her puppy by the time it was 8 weeks old and that she was able to train her pit bull to do agility. She sometimes tells me that she wishes she could read and write but there are other things she can do and do well. She's not really missing out on anything in life because she lives her life to the fullest and is excited about each new day. She tumbles out of bed on her own at 5 a.m. every day, smiling and laughing and ready to greet the world.

 

[Shelby2]

My son has a son who is autistic. The autistic boy is a twin to a normal girl. My son and his wife had always used intensive intervention and early teaching with their son to help him overcome his autism. It helps that my son is a special education teacher because he not only knew how to help his son but he knew where to find needed resources. Their love, dedication, teaching, and consistency has paid off and now at age 8 my grandson is close to being a normal child. His twin sister was also taught to help him from the time he was small and they share the same school classroom so she can help him when he needs help. They are in 3rd grade and both above grade level in their education. No way would my son and his wife have ever thought of harming their child. They always loved him just as he was and tried to help him make the most of his abilities. My first child, born when I was 19, was mentally retarded with an IQ of about 38. She was also extremely hyperactive and impulsive as a young child. I became very frustrated many times but never thought of harming her or giving her up. She is now 44 and still lives at home with us. She goes to work at a sheltered workshop every day, is very happy and always cheerful, and she is a big help around the house and with our pets. She is really a blessing to me because I am disabled and can't get around very well and she does a lot of physical jobs for me that I can't do. She gets excited just getting to mow the lawn, a job she loves and is proud of doing. She was so proud that she was able to housebreak her puppy by the time it was 8 weeks old and that she was able to train her pit bull to do agility. She sometimes tells me that she wishes she could read and write but there are other things she can do and do well. She's not really missing out on anything in life because she lives her life to the fullest and is excited about each new day. She tumbles out of bed on her own at 5 a.m. every day, smiling and laughing and ready to greet the world.

What a great post! Thanks was not enough.