kiki the parrot
Former Member
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2008
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Quote by SammieSam: 'Russell, that was fantastic. I totally agree with every word.
(ETA - The context in which i discuss love in the following instances, is one where I refer to the outward actions and behaviour of the person who loves, ie positive reinforcement, either verbally or by givening material rewards - think puppy training but for people)
If the object of the "unconditional love" feels as if they would recieve that "love" no matter what the circumstances or how they behave, how can that "love" have any value? If child that is loved "unconditionally" regardless of behaviours and attitudes, how does the child learn to act in a way that promotes healthy, loving relationships? When "love" equals "anything goes" then that would also include verbal and physical violence, mental abuse and many other negative behaviours, all of which are not loving at all. Ergo, "unconditional" love does NOT promote an atmosphere which is condusive for healthy self-esteem and truely loving relationships. JMHO of course!
I would also love to hear your ideas on self-esteem. You are one smart cookie!'
SSam I think you, like Knot4u2No aka Russell, are in dire need of a new, and better working definition of love. You are distorting and taking out of context obviously confusing LOVE w APPROVAL. A parent's love shouldn't have to be "earned." And further a parent's unconditional love CONSISTENTLY sets limits or boundaries, will ALWAYS correct and if needed eventually discipline ("Every father who loves his child will chasten him") but above all without fail will seek to RESTORE a relationship. Not quite sure how many children or grandchildren you've raised either but if I didn't know any better I'd think you two had read the same magazine article...
(ETA - The context in which i discuss love in the following instances, is one where I refer to the outward actions and behaviour of the person who loves, ie positive reinforcement, either verbally or by givening material rewards - think puppy training but for people)
If the object of the "unconditional love" feels as if they would recieve that "love" no matter what the circumstances or how they behave, how can that "love" have any value? If child that is loved "unconditionally" regardless of behaviours and attitudes, how does the child learn to act in a way that promotes healthy, loving relationships? When "love" equals "anything goes" then that would also include verbal and physical violence, mental abuse and many other negative behaviours, all of which are not loving at all. Ergo, "unconditional" love does NOT promote an atmosphere which is condusive for healthy self-esteem and truely loving relationships. JMHO of course!
I would also love to hear your ideas on self-esteem. You are one smart cookie!'
SSam I think you, like Knot4u2No aka Russell, are in dire need of a new, and better working definition of love. You are distorting and taking out of context obviously confusing LOVE w APPROVAL. A parent's love shouldn't have to be "earned." And further a parent's unconditional love CONSISTENTLY sets limits or boundaries, will ALWAYS correct and if needed eventually discipline ("Every father who loves his child will chasten him") but above all without fail will seek to RESTORE a relationship. Not quite sure how many children or grandchildren you've raised either but if I didn't know any better I'd think you two had read the same magazine article...