Just want to contribute some things about GS's relationship with TS, from my standpoint - of course this is all JMO, IMO, MOO, etc. And I'm probably not saying anything that hasn't been said before, just wanting to throw in my two cents.
I grew up, for a significant portion of my childhood and teenage years, with a narcissistic stepfather. For narcissistic parents and step-parents, control is the name of the game - and they will do just about anything to keep it. Children are easy targets, because they are easier to manipulate and easier to keep under the thumb. It's easier to capitalize on their self-esteem because they are young and their sense of self-esteem and worth is still under development - and maintaining control by self-esteem is critically important to narcissistic abuse. Emotional abuse, gaslighting, and psychological abuse are big components of narcissistic abuse, and it would not surprise me if that kind of abuse was rampant in TS's treatment of GS. Backhanded compliments or veiled insults designed to damage the self-esteem, gaslighting about that treatment, etc. This was my experience, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was his, as well.
My experience of physical abuse with a narcissistic step-parent was limited, but in my experience, it comes from a loss or, even worse, a
challenging of the control that narcissistic parents need to feel. TS likely felt she was losing control of her life through the job loss, the potential loss of AS as her husband - and I think it may be likely that GS did or said something to undermine her control of him as well. It may have been as simple as calling her out on an abusive behavior, or questioning her authority in his life. The loss of the job, the potential (and
UNCONFIRMED) divorce put the gas in the room - but GS possibly challenging her might have lit the match. Killing is, in some ways, the ultimate form of control - it is, literally, having the control to decide
life or death for someone. I feel that TS may have ended GS's life as a desperate measure to regain some sense of control, not just over him, but over her life in general. Reaffirming, in whatever f-d up way, that she still
had that power, and still
had that control.
All of this is just my own observations, JMO/MOO, and I suspect it's largely me projecting my childhood experiences onto this case. I'm not trying to fish for sympathy or interject my personal issues onto this forum - just wanting to contribute from my standpoint. And I certainly don't mean to say anything insensitive or hurtful, or to say things that might disturb or cause pain to other members of this forum - I will absolutely delete this if it's not appropriate to the discussion. I just wanted to contribute some of my two cents about narcissistic parenting, and the ways that might have contributed.
This case has broken my heart in a way that none of the many I've followed have, and I've shed more tears for this sweet little boy than any other case. My heart breaks for Gannon, and for the narcissistic parenting he had to endure, and the fact that he never escaped from it. I wish somebody could have rescued him from it. I wish, so badly, that this hadn't been the outcome. And I'm praying every single day that he's found soon, and that he can rest easy with his family watching over him and ensuring justice is done for him.
ETA: I just realized this is a small novel of a forum post. Sorry
