May I weigh in? I've parented three boys (of our 14 children) with severe rage issues. Sadly, schools and LE and even doctors are not prepared or trained to deal with these issues appropriately or safely. IMO, pepper spray was really the safest alternative at the point it was used.
I once had a physically critically ill, mentally ill, suicidal and rageful 10 year old run from the house. He was legally adopted and I'd been taught safe restraints. I bring up that issue as had I been his foster parent, I would not have been allowed to touch him or restrain him--even if he was in physical danger. He'd already broken my pelvis once during a restraint. He was soon found behind a neighbors house, throwing large rocks around. A lunch party was going on inside the house.
Police were called and they contacted me (just as I was on the phone calling them) as it was known who he was. We'd had many many police calls by this point. We all converged on the neighbor's house.
I naively assumed that the police would take him to the hospital but they informed me that they couldn't touch him, due to his age, under 18. We were all in a bind. I'm a very petite woman and I only had my 11 year old daughter with me, who's also quite small. The officer called the station and learned that the only thing he could do was to block our son from leaving. He handed our daughter a pair of zip-ties and explained to us how to put them on my son. He was smashing his head into the patio door and terrifying guests in the house. The officer used his body to kind of corner him and I grabbed his hands and my daughter got the zip-ties on. I then asked how we were to get him in the car. The officer said again that he could not help. My daughter and I struggled for over an hour as he kicked and spit at us. He was actively trying to head butt us.
Finally, through cajoling and singing and soothing talk got him into the front seat. I thought that we almost had it. My daughter scooted in next to him and I jumped into the driver's seat. He went ballistic. He bent down and bit my daughter's arm to the bone (requiring 12 stitches later), turned sideways and kicked me hard with his feet directly in the breasts and then broke the dashboard with his head. My daughter was bleeding, I was in great pain and we were at an impasse. At this point the officer said to get his feet out the side of the car and he'd zip-tie them (I'm assuming breaking the rules). Once that was accomplished, he slammed the door and we were on our own. It was like being locked in a cage with a wild animal.
My husband was away on a trip and I had no other adult to help me. I drove to our house a block away and just sat there crying trying to figure out what to do. I finally called some teen-aged boys I knew (as my older boys were with their Dad) and they came and helped get our son in the house. I called a friend to take our daughter for stitches. But I did not want anyone to see our son in this condition. I called my husband and said I needed him home. He sped home six hours from a camping trip. During those six hours, I called the pediatrician, the psychiatrist, the pharmacist. No one could help. Southern Oregon has no "beds" for children in crisis. They are in Portland--300 miles away, where this child had been many times. I had nine other children to care for that day and so we sang. I couldn't think of anything else to do. The screaming was so loud that several reports were called into police but they didn't come again as they knew who is was. We just sang louder.
My husband arrived home at 1 am and was able to finally release the zip-ties. Our son was getting tired (after about 10 hours straight of screaming and fighting) and my husband is a big man. But once released, our son immediately tried to run. My husband had to hold our son in a restraint for the entire night as he kicked and fought. When he finally collapsed from exhaustion, we took him to the local hospital where he was sent by plane (his fifth flight at $9000 each for Oregon taxpayers) to the Portland Behavioral Unit where he spent 2 weeks, in restraints. It was then on to the State Hospital for 10 months, where he was tied in a wheelchair with his hands in restraints so he could not pull out his central line.
From the time this young man came to us at age 7, there were literally hundreds of events such as this one. 30 lethal suicide attempts, violent rages, no help available. We also have two other sons who've experienced severe rages. My husband has been punched in the face and I've received two concussions in attempting to protect a child from his own rage or to prevent a suicide. Oh, what I would have given for some pepper spray or an injectable sedative.
Now? You'll be as shocked as I am. The son I told of above is a delightful 25 year old who lives independently, takes reasonable care of his health and writes his Momma the sweetest emails and helps his Dad any time he's needed. He has impeccable manners and is respectful of women. He plays bass in a traditional blues band. He pumps gas for a living and has learned to make change. He's been a meth addict but has been officially clean for 38 months. It was a rough road, filled with hospitalizations and therapy and medical procedures. My son is now kind and thoughtful and gentle to his siblings and nieces and nephews. He's decided to live and has very little memory of his childhood, thank goodness. I try to forget too and to just relish how far he's come. We simply refused to give up.
I cannot tell you how many meetings I arranged or committees and boards I sat on, attempting to raise awareness of the special issues pertaining to the out of control mentally ill child. There are no easy answers. Parents and teachers often have little or no support. Police and hospital staff often are prohibited from using restraints. It's an absolute shame.