Hi,
@Inthedetails. I would say that I'll have him create an account and come and tell his opinions himself, but I doubt he'd ever find the time. I can tell you what he said to me about the videos posted from FB.
He felt that CW's smile in the checkers video was odd, considering he wasn't bantering with SW, and that the video seemed nonsensical. Specifically, he said that it was odd how CW was cleaning up the checkers one by one, and that he could imagine that CW was picturing "clocking" SW upside the head with them (DH can have a dark sense of humor, so this didn't surprise me, but he was serious about this considering the gravity of what eventually transpired), he agreed that CW appeared to be seething. SW gave it and CW didn't give it back. We could not relate.
The Pie in the Face video. He said that CW seemed not to interact with the kids at all other than doing what he was told to do, and that he seemed very concerned about the mess that was being made, like he wanted to clean it up as soon as it happened instead of being in the moment. (Yes, we have kids & a clean house also, but when one is playing a game...Maybe Dieter should have been put in another room during the game, if that was their concern). He said that CW looked pissed when his shirt got dirty from the whipped cream, he saw it as him being upset with Bella, I saw it as him being upset with whoever flipped the plastic hand up.
The Santa Video was a bust. He didn't know why they bothered with any of that. CW seemed like an automaton. CW never came back into the video, and SW mentions this, asking, Where is Daddy or Chris? Maybe CW was in the garage texting the AP? None of them seemed to be having much fun in the videos, there was no joy there, just a duty to document it all. Their house decor is oddly impersonal. He said "Daddy left, now lock the door!"
The Water video, he asked "Why is this so long?" The dynamic between CW and SW was tense. He lurked, she snapped, the girls probably wondered why they weren't doing a family activity that everyone enjoyed.
I don't know that any of this is very insightful or helpful, but I was more forgiving on these videos than DH was. In my family my DH is the background player and I, while also an introvert, am the one who all of the decision making falls to. DH is quiet, but polite, and we have had more than our fair share of trauma...maybe this is why it is so difficult for him to understand why CW didn't just restrain SW if that scenario actually played out. To my DH (and to me) our kids mean everything, even if he is reserved with his emotions, you can see the joy and love there. DH's opinion is that SW's type A and CW's type B weren't a good fit, but more than that, CW wasn't emotionally invested in the family. His call is "no way did SW attempt to kill her daughters". CW "checked out emotionally".