I have just been putting together this list of 'potential' difficulties that CW 'may' have faced in childhood. This information is gleened from the information we have discussed so far. Please feel free to correct any information that maybe incorrect or add your own opinion/findings etc. Obviously we do not know these things definitively happened to CW, so they are suggestions of his potential upbringing (rather than fact).
Family enmeshment:
Signs we know of:
Mother over-involvement in CW life and relationship with SW.
Mother disrespects and undermines others beliefs/parenting techniques and boundaries (eg nut incident, comments about SW as a mother)
Power games with them both (e.g. wedding planning, not attending wedding or children's parties, nut incident),
Their identity as a family may be built upon their children’s success. Eg their talk on his past achievements (eg sports, nascar).
Threatened when CW married and moved across the country (eg CW responsible for dads increase in drinking, their comments about SW)
CW may have taken on a caretaker role towards RW’s drinking
Family dynamics look like they were built on power and submission, rather than equality and respect.
Effects of enmeshment on an adult: A failure to adequately develop an individual sense of identity and self-esteem, A difficulty regulating one’s own emotions, feeling controlled by others causing them to emotionally withdraw, negatively affect on relationships, difficulty developing appropriate and balanced friendships and difficulties with trust outside immediate family, fear of intimacy as relationships seen as emotionally draining, may seek out relationships in which they are responsible for caring for a partner, repeating what was learned in childhood.
Fathers substance abuse issues:
The nature of substance abuse can reduce a child's experience with making friends, so later they may have difficulty with intimate relationships. CW does have issues in these areas
Addiction tendencies may be familial -both socially modelled and possible genetic trait?
Impact of growing up with this: overlaps with enmeshment traits, particularly around loss of identity, feelings of responsibility, used to playing the role of the caregiver, may have an excessive need to be in control in order to balance out the chaos in their lives. Or they may constantly need approval, to reassure themselves that they have value. Some become aggressive.
Attachment
Mrs Watts described as cold and overbearing. Although its reported he has a close relationship with his dad, he will still be impacted by his relationship with his mother. There are numerous issues that arise from having an in-secure attachment.
Social modelling
His family have socially modeled the following:
Women are domineering.
Men avoid to cope, rather than confront (eg Dad used substances as a form of escape most likely).
Unkind behaviour towards others
No respect for personal boundaries
Social and emotional development
Guaranteed CW grew up in an invalidating environment.
Emotions likely to not be acknowledged let alone expressed, which is a huge issue as this causes someone to lack emotional awareness and stunts development.
Love and kindness probably 'rewarded' only when doing something right. Therefore, love becomes associated with doing what someone else wants, not inherently given. This will be linked to wanting to be seen as ‘good’.
Socially he had few friends and lacked a dating history. The question remains why was that? Lack of interest, fear of parental opinion? Etc. This isn’t always an issue, however in this case it is suggests why he was so excited by the prospect of the affair he was having and the thrill he was getting from this.
Supposedly his sister was 'naughty'. This may be a sign of issues at home (although cannot definitely say this). However, children take up roles in a family. CW has taken up the 'good' boy role, which would be a partial contributor to why he wants to save face and be seen as ‘good’
Empathy
Others say he was kind and caring
Seems empathic towards NK. Why? (Concerned about her being dragged in to the case).
Important to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. Psychopaths and sociopaths use empathy (not sympathy) to learn about a person and use this in a self-fulfilling manner (eg for their own purpose).
Psychopath vs sociopath – no criminal history that we are aware, indicates CW is not a psychopath, but rather a sociopath.
** There is obviously a lot more that can be added to this””
