Disguiseduser0308
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- Jan 5, 2009
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MOO - Adam's condition was deteriorating and so was his mother's.
He was her world, and her - his.
Talk of college, being independent - even if she moved "close by" was extremely upsetting to him.
Her MS was probably getting worse and seeing her get sicker and all of the talk of becoming "independent", father and brother had been cut out of his life, "Who will take care of me?"...
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Fear. The fear of being "abandoned". The fear of being "alone". The fear of all of the unknown in AL's small world.
Is it possible that he felt he was going to take these precious babies with him and his mother to the afterlife where he would, in his twisted mind, have lots of little friends & his mother with him for eternity? Little ones are so loving, and trusting & pure. Little children are so full of joy, acceptance and love. Unconditional love.
Could it be that in his own tortured mind that he was also "giving" his mother the "gift" of always having these lovely children by her side, as well? Children that were not like him....children that were "normal" and not as much "work" as he always was?
No "explanation" or theory will ever make this horrendous act acceptable, or excusable in any way, ever. What AL did was horrible. I do believe in pure evil here on earth but with AL...I just don't feel it ~ KWIM?
Perhaps I feel the way I do because my son is autistic.
I just wanted to say.. this post is angelic. You are able to see things with a kindness in your soul that not many of us are capable of right now. Thank you, thank you for that.