Crystal S., Haleigh's mother #7

Status
Not open for further replies.
  • #21
Ronald has shown class imo. Did you read yesterday's article Elle? No taking the high road imo

Which article....I have read so many I lose track of dates. I didn't have a chance to read much yesterday the only one I think I saw was the one dated today which had several quotes from Ronald and Crystal. If there is another I would love to read it.:crazy:
 
  • #22
  • #23
Oh yes I for sure read that one. Didn't like reading that specific part if I am being honest. I guess I don't like the word fault. In my opinion it is wrong to place fault really. At least where Ronald is concerned. I don't think it is Ronald or Crystal's fault that Haleigh is gone. And until more facts come out I don't want to fault Misty either...unless she was out of the home. I know some posters feel she may not have been present, but until there are facts to support it I can't assign fault.

It appears that I am of the rare opinion that Haleigh was abducted from her home by a pervert/offender. I don't think any parent should be blamed for an incidence such as that.

Edited to add....Do I like that Crystal said that?....no, do I understand that she is a mother that misses her child and wants to find someone to blame since LE has given her no options or outlets?.....yes. Same goes for RC. Everyone wants someone to blame, and I don't blame either of them for that. I blame LE because I feel they owe the parents of Haleigh at least that much.
 
  • #24
Oh yes I for sure read that one. Didn't like reading that specific part if I am being honest. I guess I don't like the word fault. In my opinion it is wrong to place fault really. At least where Ronald is concerned. I don't think it is Ronald or Crystal's fault that Haleigh is gone. And until more facts come out I don't want to fault Misty either...unless she was out of the home. I know some posters feel she may not have been present, but until there are facts to support it I can't assign fault.

It appears that I am of the rare opinion that Haleigh was abducted from her home by a pervert/offender. I don't think any parent should be blamed for an incidence such as that.

Edited to add....Do I like that Crystal said that?....no, do I understand that she is a mother that misses her child and wants to find someone to blame since LE has given her no options or outlets?.....yes. Same goes for RC. Everyone wants someone to blame, and I don't blame either of them for that. I blame LE because I feel they owe the parents of Haleigh at least that much.

BBM That would depend on whether the parent's choices, actions and behavior helped foster an enviornment in which the crime was more likely to occur.
 
  • #25
BBM That would depend on whether the parent's choices, actions and behavior helped foster an enviornment in which the crime was more likely to occur.


lol.....yes that is correct and some of RC's past choices AND CS's choices have not been bright and shining. They both have a drug history, I don't care who got who started, they are both human beings with the choice of saying no.

Ronald and Crystal shared custody and both seemed pretty okay with the arrangements up until the point in time that Haleigh went missing. If Crystal didn't like the fact that RC had primary custody then she should have petitioned the courts and asked for different arrangements. But she didn't do that. Yes, Ronald had a 17 year old girlfriend and she was taking care of Haleigh but didn't Crystal know this? Did she think RJ and Haleigh were safe?

An environment where a crime was MORE LIKELY TO OCCUR? That could be anywhere these days. Parents do the best the can and some choices are better than others. Hindsight is 20/20 for sure. I just don't think that RC or CS thought they were in an environment conducive for an abduction. In retrospect I am almost certain there are moments when they BOTH wish they could go back and try again.
 
  • #26
lol.....yes that is correct and some of RC's past choices AND CS's choices have not been bright and shining. They both have a drug history, I don't care who got who started, they are both human beings with the choice of saying no.

Ronald and Crystal shared custody and both seemed pretty okay with the arrangements up until the point in time that Haleigh went missing. If Crystal didn't like the fact that RC had primary custody then she should have petitioned the courts and asked for different arrangements. But she didn't do that. Yes, Ronald had a 17 year old girlfriend and she was taking care of Haleigh but didn't Crystal know this? Did she think RJ and Haleigh were safe?

An environment where a crime was MORE LIKELY TO OCCUR? That could be anywhere these days. Parents do the best the can and some choices are better than others. Hindsight is 20/20 for sure. I just don't think that RC or CS thought they were in an environment conducive for an abduction. In retrospect I am almost certain there are moments when they BOTH wish they could go back and try again.

Your idea of Ronald's "the best they can" may be sufficient for your children...it would not be for mine. I do not think that he provided a safe enviornment for his children. That is my opinion. I believe that I am still free in this country to have one.
 
  • #27
lol.....yes that is correct and some of RC's past choices AND CS's choices have not been bright and shining. They both have a drug history, I don't care who got who started, they are both human beings with the choice of saying no.

Ronald and Crystal shared custody and both seemed pretty okay with the arrangements up until the point in time that Haleigh went missing. If Crystal didn't like the fact that RC had primary custody then she should have petitioned the courts and asked for different arrangements. But she didn't do that. Yes, Ronald had a 17 year old girlfriend and she was taking care of Haleigh but didn't Crystal know this? Did she think RJ and Haleigh were safe?

An environment where a crime was MORE LIKELY TO OCCUR? That could be anywhere these days. Parents do the best the can and some choices are better than others. Hindsight is 20/20 for sure. I just don't think that RC or CS thought they were in an environment conducive for an abduction. In retrospect I am almost certain there are moments when they BOTH wish they could go back and try again.


JMO I don't think she wanted custody, and I think Ron has done a damn good job raising his children basically as a single Dad.
 
  • #28
Your idea of Ronald's "the best they can" may be sufficient for your children...it would not be for mine. I do not think that he provided a safe enviornment for his children. That is my opinion. I believe that I am still free in this country to have one.

Excuse me....I did not say that my idea of RONALDS " THE BEST THEY CAN" would be sufficient for my children. Perhaps you could go back and read my post again. I said parents do the best they can, because as a mother I do the best I can everyday IN MY CIRCUMSTANCES. Is it too much to hope that all parents do the best they can?

Although I think your intended play on my words was a good attempt at putting me down as a parent, I do not take offense. You do not know me or what an awesome mommy I am.
 
  • #29
Excuse me....I did not say that my idea of RONALDS " THE BEST THEY CAN" would be sufficient for my children. Perhaps you could go back and read my post again. I said parents do the best they can, because as a mother I do the best I can everyday IN MY CIRCUMSTANCES. Is it too much to hope that all parents do the best they can?

Although I think your intended play on my words was a good attempt at putting me down as a parent, I do not take offense. You do not know me or what an awesome mommy I am.

elle - I am glad to know that you are an awesome Mommy! Please forgive my frustration at explaining and defending a violent man with multiple drug charges as a good Dad. Having been on the receiving end of just such parenting...I have no tolerance. Your children are lucky to have you.
 
  • #30
elle - I am glad to know that you are an awesome Mommy! Please forgive my frustration at explaining and defending a violent man with multiple drug charges as a good Dad. Having been on the receiving end of just such parenting...I have no tolerance. Your children are lucky to have you.

Since you have been on the receiving end of such parenting perhaps you are more inclined to judge the situation as you do. Who knows. Although you perceive RC to be a violent man, I have not seen evidence that he was violent with Haleigh. If I am missing some information on that please let me know because all I seek is the truth. I see that we are in the wrong thread to be discussing RC, so I will ask you this. Do you think that Crystal thought RC was violent to Haleigh, and if she did then why didn't she seek custody of Haleigh and RJ before Haleigh went missing in your opinion? TIA
 
  • #31
Since you have been on the receiving end of such parenting perhaps you are more inclined to judge the situation as you do. Who knows. Although you perceive RC to be a violent man, I have not seen evidence that he was violent with Haleigh. If I am missing some information on that please let me know because all I seek is the truth. I see that we are in the wrong thread to be discussing RC, so I will ask you this. Do you think that Crystal thought RC was violent to Haleigh, and if she did then why didn't she seek custody of Haleigh and RJ before Haleigh went missing in your opinion? TIA

I see learned helplessness in Crystal. So I believe that Ronald easily and continually controlled her in many ways. When he illegally kept the children from her when returning from his "work" trip to Texas/Mexico I believe she felt fatalistic. She may not have thought that Ronald would take his violence out on the children. Many women battered by a husband/lover do not....I as a child in that situation can tell you that violence spills over to everyone in the enviornment if you remain there long enough.
 
  • #32
Since you have been on the receiving end of such parenting perhaps you are more inclined to judge the situation as you do. Who knows. Although you perceive RC to be a violent man, I have not seen evidence that he was violent with Haleigh. If I am missing some information on that please let me know because all I seek is the truth. I see that we are in the wrong thread to be discussing RC, so I will ask you this. Do you think that Crystal thought RC was violent to Haleigh, and if she did then why didn't she seek custody of Haleigh and RJ before Haleigh went missing in your opinion? TIA

Jmo, he's not violent, and she didn't want custody.
 
  • #33
I see learned helplessness in Crystal. So I believe that Ronald easily and continually controlled her in many ways. When he illegally kept the children from her when returning from his "work" trip to Texas/Mexico I believe she felt fatalistic. She may not have thought that Ronald would take his violence out on the children. Many women battered by a husband/lover do not....I as a child in that situation can tell you that violence spills over to everyone in the enviornment if you remain there long enough.

As a child I witnessed mental, physical, and emotional abuse by my father to my mother. For as long as I can remember remembering, he beat her. In public, at home, at relatives, often for no reason or a reason known only to him. Bloody beat her, for many years...until I was 10 and my mother moved us away. I remember the police were there while we threw our stuff in a truck, they tied my dad to a kitchen chair in the middle of the yard and he cried. He said he only wanted to kiss us good-bye. I tell you all this because it is possible for a man to abuse a woman and not abuse the children, my father never laid a hand on me or any of my siblings. I am sorry that it was not true in your situation growing up. I feel that the reasons that a man is abusive is to a woman are all unique and of course 100% wrong.

Crystal may have thought that RC would not abuse the children and that is why she never sought custody, we can agree on that. But, the thing is, if RC was so abusive to her then why not fight for sole custody of her children? Are you of the opinion that she continued to fear him even after she was gone and had a new friend/boyfriend in her life? Crystal seems like a strong enough woman to me now.
 
  • #34
As a child I witnessed mental, physical, and emotional abuse by my father to my mother. For as long as I can remember remembering, he beat her. In public, at home, at relatives, often for no reason or a reason known only to him. Bloody beat her, for many years...until I was 10 and my mother moved us away. I remember the police were there while we threw our stuff in a truck, they tied my dad to a kitchen chair in the middle of the yard and he cried. He said he only wanted to kiss us good-bye. I tell you all this because it is possible for a man to abuse a woman and not abuse the children, my father never laid a hand on me or any of my siblings. I am sorry that it was not true in your situation growing up. I feel that the reasons that a man is abusive is to a woman are all unique and of course 100% wrong.

Crystal may have thought that RC would not abuse the children and that is why she never sought custody, we can agree on that. But, the thing is, if RC was so abusive to her then why not fight for sole custody of her children? Are you of the opinion that she continued to fear him even after she was gone and had a new friend/boyfriend in her life? Crystal seems like a strong enough woman to me now.

Yes, i am of that opinion. I believe that he fostered that.
 
  • #35
  • #36
With posters saying RC did a "d@#m good job raising the children, can you explain what you mean?

I get the impression that it is implied that Crystal doesn't.
 
  • #37
I don't think Crystal knew that Misty was 16, not 17 when she babysat the children as people like to say here.

Though it would not have mattered if she did because Ron mailed the court appearance to the wrong address and there was a rehearing on 1 hour length given for BOTH to be heard. We know the results and we know Crystal tried and she did tell the truth but didn't have an attorney.

The rest is history and here we sit discussing a missing child from the custodial parent's watch. I am putting the blame on the court for allowing this to happen. 30 minutes to discuss the children's care was not enough. The facts that were given to the judge by RC were misrepresented.

But it is over and no matter how I feel and that it was not carefully reviewed by the court doesn't matter a hoot. Haleigh is gone because of poor decisions by the court. And from what I've seen in the past with this Court, it will continue to do the same. Look at the most recent case of the 8 yr old boy...good grief!
 
  • #38
As a child I witnessed mental, physical, and emotional abuse by my father to my mother. For as long as I can remember remembering, he beat her. In public, at home, at relatives, often for no reason or a reason known only to him. Bloody beat her, for many years...until I was 10 and my mother moved us away. I remember the police were there while we threw our stuff in a truck, they tied my dad to a kitchen chair in the middle of the yard and he cried. He said he only wanted to kiss us good-bye. I tell you all this because it is possible for a man to abuse a woman and not abuse the children, my father never laid a hand on me or any of my siblings. I am sorry that it was not true in your situation growing up. I feel that the reasons that a man is abusive is to a woman are all unique and of course 100% wrong.

Crystal may have thought that RC would not abuse the children and that is why she never sought custody, we can agree on that. But, the thing is, if RC was so abusive to her then why not fight for sole custody of her children? Are you of the opinion that she continued to fear him even after she was gone and had a new friend/boyfriend in her life? Crystal seems like a strong enough woman to me now.

Elle, I am so sorry you had to witness that as a child. I hope your mother, your siblings and yourself went on to live peaceful lives. :blowkiss:
 
  • #39
Jmo, he's not violent, and she didn't want custody.
I think you are right. IMO, it wasn't because of anything Ronald did to her....it was because she had it pretty good since she wasn't out any money or effort to care for Haleigh and Rj all that time. Her only expenses were for the gasoline and food every other weekend.
 
  • #40
Elle, I am so sorry you had to witness that as a child. I hope your mother, your siblings and yourself went on to live peaceful lives. :blowkiss:

I live a very happy life Shay, thank you. I like to believe that I am living proof that cycles can be broken and whatever happens with Crystal's future, I truly pray she will soon get some answers that will lead to her peace.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Staff online

Members online

Online statistics

Members online
54
Guests online
2,021
Total visitors
2,075

Forum statistics

Threads
632,157
Messages
18,622,835
Members
243,038
Latest member
anamericaninoz
Back
Top