DC DC - Relisha Tenau Rudd, 8, SE DC, 26 Feb 2014 - #4

[Guidedbyfaith]

Hey, Lilybell!

:loveyou:

I can really understand that childs way of thinking. It is a shock for those who do not know what goes on to see a child react this way, it is so ingrained that a child will show fear , the thing is abuse cannot continue if the child shows too much fear or speaks up, so they will be totally brainwashed into even liking their abuser.

That's so sad, thinking of the little one you looked after. drawing pictures for their abuser etc. Well done you for making a positive impact on their life, regardless.

I always wanted to foster, but it is very difficult to get permission in the UK and due to my childhood trauma it would sadly be held against me. Maybe that was for the best, I don't know how much my heart could take . I work with children in schools with special emotional and behavioural needs and I like to think the empathy people like us and foster carers etc show these children make a real impact on their lives in the long run.

You are so correct. I was a victim of sexual abuse from a close family member/god brother & god sister and also physically abuse by my mother when I was still in Elementary school around the same age as Relisha. So, I understand exactly what your saying. It took my grandmother's passing for my mother to relocate so even though I was devastated over my grandmother passing...it meant I was finally free. And, I never told anyone until I was 18. I am the mother of 4 that did not trust anyone with my children but my husband and mother(because guilt would not allow her to even spank my kids). They didn't have a babysitter or anything until they could clearly explained if something happen to them. I paid close attention to their behaviors at all times. But, I was in ready-to-get-locked-up mode when it came to my children and I still feel the same today when it comes to my children.

Child abuse is a cycle. So, when we look at SY as disconnected emotionally, it's probably a reason. She probably was physically, mentally, and sexually abuse by family members and the only way she was able to get through it was by disconnecting from the pain. JMO bought my mother treated my brother like a king but it did not stop her for beating me for any & everything. So, if that's all she knows and I'm definitely not taking her side in any way. She doesn't even realize it. You either continue the cycle and do what was done to you or break the cycle and do anything and everything to protect your kids from all the things that you experienced. Remember, SY said she did not want to lose her other 3 children(all boys/her "kings"). Unfortunately, it looks as she continued the cycle with Relisha. You will not understand the disconnect that she expresses unless you have been violated in the same type of way because she's a product of her environment; not ours. And, that is how she was able to get through but never received any professional help that would have shed a little light on her upbringing and acknowledged her as a victim or the fact that it was not her fault and she was worthy of better. And, grandmother definitely knows it because she probably abused her....and feels so guilty about the parent she was that she won't speak on it...but will cover it as if she's protecting her now because she did not when she was younger...it's just my opinion, but through the eyes of a victim of child abuse.

I'm apologize for my ranting but it's not always easy to see things clearly when your wearing rose colored glasses. The laws were not the same as far as child abuse when I was younger...so you can best believe there are a lot of individuals that are in our society that have not acknowledged their abuse causing it to fester into something negative probably 50% of the time. Men don't just hit woman...but mostly likely it was a learned behavior and looked at as okay because they saw their dad/uncle/brother/a male figure in their lives doing it. There's a reason for everything but again this is just my opinion.

 

[nikki80]

I know LE can probably verify this but why would a convicted felon need help finding a gun? I mean, what is he googling "what kind of gun should I buy?" And why would he need help doing this? They are all telling tales JMO

 

[nikki80]

T the poster who said their child went to school with one of RR's brothers...have you met SY before?

 

[Guidedbyfaith]

ok, sorry if I missed this, was the person that saw the wife on the bed, did he know she was dead?

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

If he did, it's not mentioned. But IMO, she could of been lying face down when the 3 of them left that night. Nobody, reported a gun shot...that night, that morning, etc....it's a bad area & gunfire is normal...smh.

 

[Guidedbyfaith]

T the poster who said their child went to school with one of RR's brothers...have you met SY before?

I mentioned that my kids went to school with one of AT's sons in Montgomery County. But I did mention anything about RR's brothers. And, I don't know SY.

 

[nikki80]

I mentioned that my kids went to school with one of AT's sons in Montgomery County. But I did mention anything about RR's brothers. And, I don't know SY.

Sorry! When you said "my kids went to school with her sons" I assumed SY. Thanks for the clarification.

 

[Just K]

Hi paintedred, that a very insightful post, I am sorry to hear what you went through, but very happy to see you hear posting and reaching out to others!

I was a foster carer a few yr ago and I can absolutely relate to what you say.
I looked after one little one, who had been through similar before been taken into care. This child still had to have contact with one family member (not the abuser, but this person knew what was going on),
Well, the little one missed her abuser, drew pics for him, constantly asked how he was etc.
the family member who did have contact with little one, would bring gifts from the abuser!

Little one never discussed abuse with me, (as a foster carer, I was there to listen, but they had therapist to speak with)' it was a heartbreaking placement, il never forget little one.
When I read through their file, I was expecting some sort of anger, maybe fear, but the only anger present in the beginning was towards social worker for making them leave home. X

Wow, that description is identical to a case I dealt with many moons ago. The child was 12.5 years old, her mom had compromised health issues and little by little the daughter began to take over the mother's role and function within the home...cleaning, cooking and finally sleeping in the same bed with the step-dad. When she was removed from the home, she was so angry and fitful that she was removed from one family foster care after another. She finally ended up in a group home/long term residential placement.

The long and the short of it: I had to conduct/supervise one on one visitation with the stepfather and child...it made my skin crawl. The child used to say things like, "were going to get married when I'm old enough." It was a hopeless, almost a futile battle to get her to even consider that this man had abused her, taken advantage of her, and manipulated her every step of the way. Dude did what the courts required and ultimately she got to go back to the same household, same guardianship and same situation that got her removed from the home.

I would sit there redirecting the man and the girl for an hour...wishing I could hurt him but not allowed to show how much I hated him...It was soul sucking.

 

[margarita25]

Morning! :coffee: You guys rock!

https://maps.google.com/maps?saddr=...oad+Northeast,+Washington,+DC&mra=ls&t=m&z=15

A = Home Depot And Homeless Center March 2
B = Days Inn registered for two nights March 1st through March 3rd
C = Waste Management Transfer Station

Thanks for posting this map.

I'm sure the park adjacent to Kenilworth has been searched, Colmar Manor Community Park? What about the McMillan Reservoir?

Do you guys have a list/map of areas that have been searched already? TIA

My teacher Spring Break is winding to an end, boo--I have just a couple days left to catch up on the previous threads (and do a gazillion loads of laundry). I came aboard a little late here; you guys have done an amazing job, as always!

(Spring break flashback, this time last year I was contemplating diving Lake Vallecito to help look for little Dylan---seems like this was just a blink of an eye ago, time passes so quickly, I see my priorities haven't changed much in a year, glad to be with like minds and energies here. Thanks yall!)

I say this a lot in other cases, but KT's awareness space has got to be the answer in finding Relisha, if he killed her. jmo

As mentioned upstream (Just K?) there's a radius which seems to be popping up.

I've posted in other threads certain distances I've noticed that seem to come across frequently imo---these numbers are:

2 miles

6-8 miles

20-22 miles

28-30 miles

55-60 miles

jmo

<going back to read> :seeya:


eta: these numbers are evolving, as lately the distances seem larger, for example Nate Tallman's body found in another state over 4 hours away, I was waaaay off on that one!

 

[Just K]

She can always leave if she gets overwhelmed by it and be proud of what she accomplished. Mom gave her wings and roots. She has the option to leave and do something else or stay put in doing what she may like. You gave your child a wonderful role model. I too often get annoyed with people who try to beat the system and are quite successful at it ...but I try to look at the whole picture. They often live in crime ridden areas and have a lifestyle that I would never want for myself or my child. They may get money and benefits but often are not enriching the life of their children by getting them out of that gov't dependent lifestyle.

You would never quit your job and accept assistance without truly needing it - you have too much pride in yourself. You have more than a pot to wizz in I am sure if you look beyond material items. Karma will come back and reward you.

Dog gone it, tears flowing....you and SS are too kind. :angel:

 

[lillybell]

Wow, that description is identical to a case I dealt with many moons ago. The child was 12.5 years old, her mom had compromised health issues and little by little the daughter began to take over the mother's role and function within the home...cleaning, cooking and finally sleeping in the same bed with the step-dad. When she was removed from the home, she was so angry and fitful that she was removed from one family foster care after another. She finally ended up in a group home/long term residential placement.

The long and the short of it: I had to conduct/supervise one on one visitation with the stepfather and child...it made my skin crawl. The child used to say things like, "were going to get married when I'm old enough." It was a hopeless, almost a futile battle to get her to even consider that this man had abused her, taken advantage of her, and manipulated her every step of the way. Dude did what the courts required and ultimately she got to go back to the same household, same guardianship and same situation that got her removed from the home.

I would sit there redirecting the man and the girl for an hour...wishing I could hurt him but not allowed to show how much I hated him...It was soul sucking.

Oh I understand, it was so hard, I cried a lot over this little one!

Little one in my case, was a lot younger, from been our foster babe, she went on to adoption, a single mum, i still receive little updates now letting us know how things are going.
I think little one was saved as early as possible and has made massive steps towards healing.

I too used to sit and think of all the things I wanted to do/say to abusers, the hardest thing I had to do was remain polite and not make them feel uncomfortable! X

 

[margarita25]

<bewildered at how family members are playing video games on fb during a time like this> jmo

 

[nikki80]

Will LE tell if the POI has been identified?

 

[SCHMAE]

You are so correct. I was a victim of sexual abuse from a close family member/god brother & god sister and also physically abuse by my mother when I was still in Elementary school around the same age as Relisha. So, I understand exactly what your saying. It took my grandmother's passing for my mother to relocate so even though I was devastated over my grandmother passing...it meant I was finally free. And, I never told anyone until I was 18. I am the mother of 4 that did not trust anyone with my children but my husband and mother(because guilt would not allow her to even spank my kids). They didn't have a babysitter or anything until they could clearly explained if something happen to them. I paid close attention to their behaviors at all times. But, I was in ready-to-get-locked-up mode when it came to my children and I still feel the same today when it comes to my children.

Child abuse is a cycle. So, when we look at SY as disconnected emotionally, it's probably a reason. She probably was physically, mentally, and sexually abuse by family members and the only way she was able to get through it was by disconnecting from the pain. JMO bought my mother treated my brother like a king but it did not stop her for beating me for any & everything. So, if that's all she knows and I'm definitely not taking her side in any way. She doesn't even realize it. You either continue the cycle and do what was done to you or break the cycle and do anything and everything to protect your kids from all the things that you experienced. Remember, SY said she did not want to lose her other 3 children(all boys/her "kings"). Unfortunately, it looks as she continued the cycle with Relisha. You will not understand the disconnect that she expresses unless you have been violated in the same type of way because she's a product of her environment; not ours. And, that is how she was able to get through but never received any professional help that would have shed a little light on her upbringing and acknowledged her as a victim or the fact that it was not her fault and she was worthy of better. And, grandmother definitely knows it because she probably abused her....and feels so guilty about the parent she was that she won't speak on it...but will cover it as if she's protecting her now because she did not when she was younger...it's just my opinion, but through the eyes of a victim of child abuse.

I'm apologize for my ranting but it's not always easy to see things clearly when your wearing rose colored glasses. The laws were not the same as far as child abuse when I was younger...so you can best believe there are a lot of individuals that are in our society that have not acknowledged their abuse causing it to fester into something negative probably 50% of the time. Men don't just hit woman...but mostly likely it was a learned behavior and looked at as okay because they saw their dad/uncle/brother/a male figure in their lives doing it. There's a reason for everything but again this is just my opinion.

Bless you ! Thank you for sharing. I'd like to add that some families, the abuse is well known within them but because of shame and pride, they will never tell. My own family ( older generations ) knew they had pedophiles in the family but because they were 'upstanding well respected, public, etc" they were never to tell a soul and shame the family name. I did not even know until I was nearly 30 and an UNCLE told me . I had been left around various family members as a young kid, along with scores of other young kids, cousins and such and never knew we were in the midst of a predator because no one let on. Even now many members of the family do not acknowledge it or sshush you if you bring it up . Protecting the family name was always more important than protecting the children within the family. Absolutely sickening ! I rambled a bit, sorry. I think my point was when I was young the mothers in the family would not dream of saying " oh no, my child cannot stay with uncle xyz '' because the elders of the family would say ' why on earth not'? and the subject of abuse could not be discussed, so they were stuck. So glad all those sickos are dead now !

 

[Just K]

Does anyone think that the reason SY and her extended family seem to be little concerned about Relisha's whereabouts is because they think they know where she is and they believe she is safe? Just being "borrowed."

 

[MSNurse]

My 2 cents about who "IT" is. If you read the warrant and replace RSL name where "IT" is, it makes sense to me. Didn't he do all of those things? Returned to room...helped search for gun on internet...etc?

MOO

 

[Solitaryone]

I hope when the guy from the video is identified LE will let the public know who it is!

 

[nikki80]

Or at the very least, they can let us know that the person has been identified. I'll be good with that.

 

[Bravo]

<bewildered at how family members are playing video games on fb during a time like this> jmo

:banghead::banghead::banghead:

 

[hambirg]

My guess? That white truck was seen on video at the Red Roof Inn, and that's why they were looking for it! Most likely it belongs to RSL.

Can I just say that this stuff about letting someone 'borrow' your kids for taxes, etc is pissing me off?!?!?! We have to PAY taxes every single year so these scums can get a refund from not paying a cent! Really pissing me off.

BBM. . .that's my assumption too. But I sure wish we knew for sure. Whoever it belongs too was, at the least, trying to help Tatum get away.

And during this month when these witnesses knew all of these intimate details of Karl's life and marriage and hovering around motels with him and talking to his wife, NO ONE saw or heard about RELISHA??????? Seriously ?

This is why I don't think she was sold. No one has seen her since March 1st. Sorry, that usually means the worst.

What I keep going back to here is the "WHY". I can guess that KT killed AT because she was a risk to him and knew too much. She may have threatened him with going to police about what she knew. But if he planned to harm Relisha when he bought those supplies - I can't understand why. Producing the child for school officials at that point would have quieted that fire. Even if the timing was during when he was caught with impersonating a doctor - he could have probably lied his way out of that saying it wasn't him on the phone . And even if he could not - I doubt the punishment would be so great to resort to murder??? I feel something went awry with setup he had with Relisha - something became a threat to him. Maybe she was starting to protest or he felt she would tell authorities. Maybe AT was a catalyst and started saying she was going to blow the whistle.

If I go along with assuming Relisha was harmed in early March - I just don't get what would drive him to do that even before authorities were on his case.

BBM. . .he simply didn't have Relisha to produce her. That's the only explanation. I think he killed her unintentionally.

e

My comment about who called the police was based on another comment. I just remember receiving phone alerts, breaking news bulletins, and forgot that that did come first. But, my point was that it was already planned for RSL to come pick him up the next morning. But, I wonder if AT was dead prior to the other 3 leaving also. Its really strange how information from witness 1 & witness 2 was so freely given after the police went to their home. Why was witness 1 not charged with conspiracy or aiding & abetting...since he seemed so concerned about AT's status after the fact but not that morning when he seen her lying face down. Then, he took him to the Metro station. So, I wonder whom called in the tip for both of those cars in that parking lot. In that area, things are kind of hush hush. IMO...witness 1 and/or witness 2 made that call.

It's just my opinion though...rambling thoughts.

BBM. . .IIRC no one called in a tip about the cars. They were spotted by a patrol officer.

RSBM

I am sorry, this is a graphic opinion only.

If he was sexually assaulting her - he may not have meant to kill her. When a very large man assaults a very small girl, very bad things can and do happen.

This. He could have also accidentally OD'd her, or struck her. . .blunt force trauma, if she started fighting back.

ok, sorry if I missed this, was the person that saw the wife on the bed, did he know she was dead?

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

As far as we know, no. There are cameras and he says he wasn't allowed in the room. I believe that. he most likely assumed she was sleeping.

I say this a lot in other cases, but KT's awareness space has got to be the answer in finding Relisha, if he killed her. jmo

As mentioned upstream (Just K?) there's a radius which seems to be popping up.

I've posted in other threads certain distances I've noticed that seem to come across frequently imo---these numbers are:

2 miles

6-8 miles

20-22 miles

28-30 miles

55-60 miles

RSBM. . .I agree. He seems to have had a comfort zone, which is often the case in cases like these. The outlier seems to be that trip to Richmond though. I still think she is somewhere in the zone around the park. . .or possible the Oxon Hill area.

 

[nikki80]

Had to drop my daughter off at gymnastics practice off of 450 and the littlest kid and I rode past the RRI. I just ride around the hotel and took a look. I didn't get out or anything. I'm very tempted to take them to kenilworth park today to have a play date, but I really want to look around. I am got an eerie feeling. I'm still praying for your babygirl. We love you Relisha.

Eta: I'm speaking like you all are locals. Route 450 is the main road that the RRI is on.