For a long while I lived above a domestic abuser.
It was a very nice warehouse conversion and all the tenants were nice people apart from this one








who was a known cocaine dealer.
He routinely threatened people in the house, or was abusive towards them.
At some stage he got a young 19 year old girl pregnant and she moved in.
Mainly there fights occurred in the weekend, when drink and drugs were involved.
The fights would go on for hours starting in the early evening and flaring up any time in the middle of the night or early morning.
There were breaks in between - sometimes it would stop - or it would escalate to smashing stuff up - things that sounded like blows being struck.
Sometimes she would have obvious bruising.
We always rang the police immediately - as I was very worried that girl (or her baby) would end up dead - like so many other kiwi women who suffer at the hand of brutes.
The police would never do anything of course.
One of my best friends works for refuge and I discussed this case with her.
In her opinion such a transaction is relatively typical. The elongated fight. The damage in the house. Seeking refuge in the toilet. Anywhere you can get away.
Abusers don't appear from nowhere - they have a track record of this.
But there is always that first time that they injure the victim so badly that their violent nature can no longer be concealed.
The Pistorious case unfortunately perpetuates the myths of domestic violence (he loved her!) - ironic given the judge.