Families, not fashion to blame for anorexia

[SewingDeb]

I went through an anorexic stage in high school because I wanted to look like Twiggy AND my best friend who was naturally very thin. I don't think my family had anything to do with me starving myself...lol.

Some days I wish the anorexia would kick in again. : )

 

[JBean]

It is becoming increasingly true for men as well. And yup, sure enough, we start to see anorexia in young men, too.

I have known several young men with anorexia. It is even more disturbing for some reason.

 

[Mygirlsadie]

When supermodel Ana Carolina died I read that her mother was saying Ana supported the family and without her the family has nothing. She was also from Brazil and came from a very poor family. Alot of times people from these other countries have alot of pressure to take care of the family and if it means starving yourself to death literally well then I guess that is the distance they will go for them. My husband is the only one in his family who really made a career for himself. His family comes from Ecuador. Out of the 9 brothers and sisters my husband is the one that they (including his parents) call when they need money or help and he is EXPECTED to send it to them. It irritates me because my parents don't have much either but they will go to the ends of the earth for us and wouldnt even consider EVER asking for anything from any of their kids. Diffrent cultures I guess expect diffrent things from their children.

 

[Masterj]

One of my childhood friends has been battling anorexia/bulimia since we were in 6th grade, when her oldest sister taught her how to throw up using a spoon. We are now 32 years old so this has consumed her life for about 20 years now. She is 5'10" and at her sickest point weighed 89 pounds. Her roommate in college went to the school health department and she was forced to withdraw from school until she could prove she was receiving treatment and healthy again. Shortly thereafter, she was hospitalized and the doctors were amazed she was alive since her heart rate was so low. All these years later, she is much healthier than she was, but she still battles these demons. It is really hard to watch and support her as she goes through this. Sometimes I think she is doing really well and other times I don't think she will ever be truly okay. This disease has stunted her in so many ways emotionally. She has problems with relationships with men, she is completely self-absorbed, and often transfers her control issues to other aspects of her life such as her grades or work. It really makes me want to cry, especially because there is nothing I can do to help her. I've tried to play the supportive friend and listen, but it is hard to just listen when you hear stories about her working out 3 times a day or occasionally binging and purging. As for her mother, her mother has completely rearranged her life to try and help my friend and now it is to the point where she is too dependent on her mother. She finally bought her own house this past year and moved out, but I worry about her being on her own. The whole thing breaks my heart.

 

[eve]

Three of my sorority sisters had severe anorexia. I also knew at least 6 girls who were bulimic as well. Two of the anorexic girls went through treatment and are recovering (it is a lifelong thing) and the third has been institutionalized repeatedly. She was a brilliant student - an Accounting major. She first began starving herself in 1978. She has rarely weighed over 90 lbs. in all that time, usually weighing about 75. Her lowest weight was 58 lbs. So many people tried to help her. I remember being very angry with her at times.

I have not heard news of her in about 8 years, but at that time she was still actively anorexic. I think I would have heard if she had died, yet I can hardly believe she is still alive. Talk about a "life interrupted." She never held a job for any amount of time, never finished her doctorate, never married...

She was eaten alive by this disease.

Eve

 

[crash676]

Ok maybe I am way off base here but it seems to me as if the media is starting to come around to the curves are beautiful way of thinking. Look at two number one stars right now in the media Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, Fergie (ok she is thin but not ANOREXIC) More clothing designers that influence young people are starting to come around and get away from the waif look. I was at the doctors office the other day and picked up Sixteen and the models were all helathy looking and some were even larger than what I wuld normally see. I do not have girls but do have two boys and body image is factor for them as well. I think we as parents and friends need to keep the positive figures in front of our children (see above) and make sure that the stick figures in the "runway shows" are kept well away. Besides those clothes in runway shows are not made for humans!! They are made for mannequins and then out on models. However it is very sad when a "plus size" is a size 12.

 

[Smurf]

Queen Latifah, Kate Winslet, Sara Ramirez (Callie on Grey's Anatomy) are the kinds of role models I would rather my girls want to be built like; (yuck to Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan). My 11 year old is a string bean size 0 (which is fine at 11 but not as normal framed adult) and my 8 year old is built totally different and is bigger than her sister by one size. One time she broke down crying about being fat. It was heart breaking; I hope I handled it correctly.

I am a happy, size 12 myself and I enjoy eating out and ordering dessert. I don't mind being a size 12 (although I need to exercise and tone it up). I don't complain about feeling fat in front of them. When I try on clothes and it looks wrong around the waist area, I just say 'nope' take it off and move on.

The show "What not to Wear" on TLC is such a fantastic show. I love it, they deal with people's body issues in such a positive way; showing how to camoflauge the parts you don't like, to embrace your curves to wear well made, structured clothes that fit your body; no matter what the tag says. Everyone always comes away with a new perspective and feels so good about themselves. I have learned what type of clothes fit my body type from that show and I don't worry about being what some call 'plus size'. If you have never watched TLC's what not to wear; you should check it out.

 

[eve]

Queen Latifah, Kate Winslet, Sara Ramirez (Callie on Grey's Anatomy) are the kinds of role models I would rather my girls want to be built like; (yuck to Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan). My 11 year old is a string bean size 0 (which is fine at 11 but not as normal framed adult) and my 8 year old is built totally different and is bigger than her sister by one size. One time she broke down crying about being fat. It was heart breaking; I hope I handled it correctly.

I am a happy, size 12 myself and I enjoy eating out and ordering dessert. I don't mind being a size 12 (although I need to exercise and tone it up). I don't complain about feeling fat in front of them. When I try on clothes and it looks wrong around the waist area, I just say 'nope' take it off and move on.

The show "What not to Wear" on TLC is such a fantastic show. I love it, they deal with people's body issues in such a positive way; showing how to camoflauge the parts you don't like, to embrace your curves to wear well made, structured clothes that fit your body; no matter what the tag says. Everyone always comes away with a new perspective and feels so good about themselves. I have learned what type of clothes fit my body type from that show and I don't worry about being what some call 'plus size'. If you have never watched TLC's what not to wear; you should check it out.

I would like to watch that show! Is TLC Lifetime, or what? I'm more of a reader - don't know all the networks/cable channels/etc. You know, I've been feeling really lousy about my weight lately but I really try not to obsess about it partially because I have a 16-year old daughter. Got married two years ago to a wonderful guy and we both gained weight. Fat and happy, I guess. Both of us want to lose weight and I have done it before, I'll do it again. I suspect my daughter will fight weight as I have, I believe in genetics. She is beautiful, curvy but athletic but she's no twig and I'm glad. She really makes helathy choices with food and still isn't skinny but she is a size 7, perfect, I think, for her. And that's the point, so many of us try to be something we won't be. It's so healthy to work with your curves and body and love yourself. I would like to do better with clothing types for these "fat times" I'm in right now - I hate the way my clothes look right now! I know I will always go up and down to some extent but I hate feeling like it controls my self-esteem. Knowing more about what clothes would work would help.

Eve

 

[Smurf]

It's just TLC 'The learning channel' at my house. They have a website too that give show times for your area and probably message boards and episode recaps. Great show. They ambush the person who has been nominated by a loved on for dressing badly; then secretly film them and show them what they look like on camera. Then they offer them a Visa card for $5000.00 to come to NYC and bring their crap wardrobe and learn 'the rules'. Then they usually throw out all of the crap clothes and leave them with nothiing and send them out to shop according to the rules. You will see them resist and whine and gripe the first day of shopping but by the second day they get help from the stylists and then you just see the transformation take place. Then they get an expensive haircut and make up tips and go back home to show off their new confident selves with the promise to never make those mistakes again.

They always look 100% better.