I am not going to deny that there are people out there who do like to play the victim and it certainly sounds like your niece's father is one of those people. However, there are all kinds of people who do that - my lazy white cousin who feels the world owes him something is an example. My neighbor who claims everyone wrongs her because she is old, when no, it is really because she is rude and nasty and people are going to give it back. Everyone can find examples. But it is ridiculous and offensive to deny that racism does exist. I am not saying you feel this way Shamrock, but it is pretty clear that others in here do think that way.
Family, under pressure, removes its hanged dummy
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I am not going to deny that there are people out there who do like to play the victim and it certainly sounds like your niece's father is one of those people. However, there are all kinds of people who do that - my lazy white cousin who feels the world owes him something is an example. My neighbor who claims everyone wrongs her because she is old, when no, it is really because she is rude and nasty and people are going to give it back. Everyone can find examples. But it is ridiculous and offensive to deny that racism does exist. I am not saying you feel this way Shamrock, but it is pretty clear that others in here do think that way.
Much agreed, Masterj!!
Both, actually. He was ridiculed growing up in Queens by other blacks because he went to a private school in Manhattan, who claimed he was trying to act white. And you wouldn't believe how many white idiots have made comments like "oh well no offense Mr. Masterj, but it's not like you are really black anyway." :doh:
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I have to admit that the family might have done the hanging in white characature in the first place, and there wouldn't have then been any question.
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
But you see we live in an age of hyper-sensitivity .. not that sensitivity is a bad thing,, but it's gotten ridiculous. All of a sidden everyone is a big baby,, and traumatized by everything... traumatized by what their 'ancestors' went through... ohh,, waaaaaaaahhhhh,, shut up already. Guess what,, life was traumatizing for EVERYONE'S ancestors!!!!
White Rain
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Nope, no doubt about it.
White Rain
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Hey, I know this wasn't directed at me but felt compelled to answer...I am kinda going thru this now...I am not 100% racist (I do have black friends) but I was brought up in an extremely racial household, and some of the views leaked off on me.
My oldest daughter is in 5th grade and has taken a liking to a black boy...and I will be the 1st to admit it has DEVASTATED me....but I have not yet said one word about it...her dad (we're split up) taught her the word "n*gger" in kindergarten, and I actually raised a HUGE fuss, telling him my baby had to go to school with black kids and didn't need to know these kinds of words, and her best friend was black and I took all kinda pictures of them holding hands on field day and such and thought it was the cutest thing ever....
but now that she may actually "like" a person of a different race I am SO disheartened...I honestly do NOT want her to grow up and marry a black guy...but IF she does I will love her no matter what, and will accept him, which is more than my own family did.
My dad and his bros/sis had 1 sister who dated a black guy and was disowned...to this day they will NOT even speak her name, and she has not been part of the family for at least 23 yrs....I could never turn my back on my child no matter what though.
White Rain, I grew up in a racial household, except it was against nearly all races, black, white, green, purple, any that wasn't Native.
Thankfully I had one sane parent, my mother, who guided me on many matters of race and social graces etc. My mother btw is white so I'm half white, but I identify with being Native as it's all I knew growing up. It's weird to grow up in a household where your own father hates what half of you is. Besides the physical abuse, the straw that broke the camels back was when he called my infant son scum because he is half Mexican. I didn't speak to my father for 17 years. And it was so worth it! He is entitled to his feelings and his view points but he shouldn't have pushed them on me.
I'm going to say this with the most respect and gentle heartfelt meaning I have in me because it's how my mother shared it with me.
It isn't your job to teach her who to love, it is to teach her to love unconditionally.
As hard as it is to see your child fly in the face of convention, in any regard, be glad she is strong enough and blind to the naysaying of others to live her life the way she wants. I say you raised a fine child if she's not concerned with what society says is right for her. And ain't that what we all strive for? To raise a person who is willing to stand for what they believe in, even if it is matters of the heart?
You, and she, will be just fine. I just know these things ;-)
Thankfully I had one sane parent, my mother, who guided me on many matters of race and social graces etc. My mother btw is white so I'm half white, but I identify with being Native as it's all I knew growing up. It's weird to grow up in a household where your own father hates what half of you is. Besides the physical abuse, the straw that broke the camels back was when he called my infant son scum because he is half Mexican. I didn't speak to my father for 17 years. And it was so worth it! He is entitled to his feelings and his view points but he shouldn't have pushed them on me.
I'm going to say this with the most respect and gentle heartfelt meaning I have in me because it's how my mother shared it with me.
It isn't your job to teach her who to love, it is to teach her to love unconditionally.
As hard as it is to see your child fly in the face of convention, in any regard, be glad she is strong enough and blind to the naysaying of others to live her life the way she wants. I say you raised a fine child if she's not concerned with what society says is right for her. And ain't that what we all strive for? To raise a person who is willing to stand for what they believe in, even if it is matters of the heart?
You, and she, will be just fine. I just know these things ;-)
I appreciate your honesty White Rain. Although it bothers you its wonderful that you are not saying anything to your daughter about it.
I would really not care who my daughter liked or dated as long as he was a decent guy who treated her well.
imthemom
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Okay, I haven't got in on this yet but as far as the dummy goes, I think it was just a decoration. In Illinois there are dummies hanging every where. Some have no faces, some have monster faces. I never pay too much attention. Anyway, as far as racism existing it does but I think it is definitely both ways and there are the people that blame everything that happens in their life on race. I agree with you Amraann I wouldn't care the color as long as they were a good person that treated her right. I am half Mexican and my DH is Mexican. I have never really felt prejudice in my life and I grew up with all white people. Recently though with the whole immigration issue it has become apparent that everyone is looking at us differently. I was just reading a thread from another site on the Niveah Gallegos case and some people on there were going on and on about illegals and how these people were probably illegal and take everything from Americans. Well the mother is not even Mexican she is Native American. Not sure what the BF is. This kind of racial profiling is becoming way too everyday occurance. I feel scared for my children and I never have before. My mom had a black guy come to the door the other day to by straw from their farm. My mom is white. They were talking about my 16 sis getting a job at MD's as it was hard for her to find a job when she was 15. The man turned right to her and said it is because they give all the jobs to all the Mexicans. Just a little tid bit here even with all the illegals here a 1/3 of the citrus crop went unpicked this year because there weren't enough workers. My mom turned to him and simply said no it isn't it is because OSHA has tough rules about hiring 15 year olds. Anyway just goes to show races are prejudice against other races and it isn't one way. A lot of people don't even realize that they are being prejudice. When my mom brought my daughter in to work one day a lady said shes cute what is she? I felt like saying she is a baby!! but I politely answered we are Hispanic.
What is she???? Your mom has obviously more class then I do... because I would have most likely lost my cool on that one.
I am often ignorant to racism as well... I am just a white chick from New England ...
As a young teen I moved to Florida and I remember being totally stunned about the racism.
Marrying your cousin was ok but god forbid you date a black guy...
My hubby is Cuban.
I never experienced racism until we moved to Miami...
I was pregnant with our 3rd child and went to the OB and having a Hispanic last name the Dr walked in and started speaking Spanish ... I was like ... "what?"
He totally yelled at me for having a Hispanic last name and not speaking Spanish!!
I actually said to him .... "Do I look Hispanic to you?" I am about as white as it gets..
The thing is .. I don't really think in terms of skin color or racial heritage..
Even today I am shocked that people look at someone and try to access their race...
I recall my Grams always commenting about such things.. Like when she spoke about someone it was always "John Doe the Irish catholic"
Hubby and I were talking the other day about this... When he got out of the Army he could not find a job to save his life.. In retrospect it was totally because we lived in Central Florida where Racism is ALIVE and sadly well.
We moved to Miami and as my above tale illustrates it goes both ways..
Hubby's friends where like ... "You moved that white girl to Hialeah?"
Why it was ever an issue I just cannot grasp. Maybe I just do not want to grasp it...
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"Let my people go."
That's what I say when I get made fun of for being Lithuanian.
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I'm not trying to make a joke, but you sound like my Mother-In-Law. Needless to say that me and my wife didn't have it easy from her side of the family when we were dating. They never saw me until after we got married. Once we were married, I was part of the family. Thier parents felt like they would be embarrassed by what other members of the family might say. But my parents never sat me down and said, "Son, there are people out there that might not like you for the color of your skin". Hell, they never once brought up the issue of race in any topic.
People overcome their negative views of others. My wife's family is living proof.
imthemom
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I like that. I never bring it up with my kids who are 9 and 3 and never will unless they do. I don't want them feeling sorry for themselves because they are Hispanic. I tell my son all the time to do his best and show people what good people we are. He goes to school with 99% white children and he is one of the most popular boys in his class. I think most people's views of their self and others comes from their parent's views.
We've never distinguished between race with my son. My hubby's friend is white and married to a beautiful black woman and they have 3 mixed race children. They were all over playing with my son and he told me later that he really liked the "chocolate kids".
Excellent question!!
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