I really feel like nobody is reading what i write. I have known plenty of biodads and moms when faced with support payment, they offer or ask the step parent to adopt. I am not saying that what AP says is true, what i am saying is 1. rather than take cherish from the only parent she knew for almost 4 years, why not work together for the good of cherish? 2. And I do not understand why everything Bio dad says is taken at face value, and nothing AP says is. What i am saying IMO, this poor little girl had she lived was in for a terrible life. Allegations of all kinds of things from both sides, 3. extended family who only cares after tragedy strikes. What i am saying is I really think everybody needs to reach out to your families and say hey is everything OK? 4. Reach out to the moms and dads you know and say hey need a sitter? Don't wait for something horrible to happen. Reach out to your neighbor and say hi my name is lets work out baby sitting coops. Be safe about it, of course, but hold out a hand.
5. This is how the sex offenders get a leg in. Desperate people trying to do too much. And they make mistakes, they leave a preteen or teen at home alone for an hour or two, they get sloppy or they are tired and don't think clearly. I am sorry there is so much anger at RP. None of us on here can know if she can be a good parent. And anytime I try to put some hope out there for either RP or AP, I am feeling very attacked.
BBM:
1. The only parents she knew? All evidence shows Cherish has always known her father, and has seen him/spent time with him. And if Rayne and AP were seriously concerned for the good of Cherish, they should have listened to their child's advocate and agreed to give BJ primary custody. But then no child support check, so....
2. Because most of bio dad's statements in MSM have been supported by an attorney and court documents vetted by the media. Rayne and Aahon's statements contradict themselves and each other with each new telling. Their statements to the media contradict
the police report! RP and AP have proven time and again that they are incapable of telling the same story twice.
3. I hope this is not an allusion that the sibling in Australia is somehow to blame for anything as she was abandoned by Rayne herself, and justifiably has not spoken to her mother in 10 years. The extended family in Australia would have no reason to know what was going on and would have little capability in legally doing
anything....until now.
4. Is the implication here that if some neighbor had just been kind and offered to babysit the kids that night, Rayne wouldn't have sent her daughter off with a creeper to a fitting room, then for a burger? Aharon was home that evening, talking to a neighbor about how long Rayne was gone. An able bodied adult and father of two of the three girls, capable of caring for his 'own', who should have been in bed, especially Cherish who had a very early flight. But those darn neighbors didn't reach out and help them? So blame there? The world at large is responsible for RP's tiredness and desperation?
5. Get a leg in? She HANDED. HER DAUGHTER. TO HIM. A STRANGE MAN. Mutiple times. She didn't have to go shopping. She didn't have to drag three children with her, Aahon was home. Her desire for a gift card--free money--caused criminal blindness to her children's safety. Period. Too tired to go shopping? Don't go shopping. They bought a sparkly barrette that night. She wasn't hauling the family to the store for diapers and baby formula.
I've never heard of someone being so tired and exhausted, they temporarily forgot they should never let a stranger take their child anywhere, least of all a changing room. The woman is 45 years old. And why is she so tired and exhausted, more so than everyone else in this country? Her oldest was in school during the day, and was leaving for the summer the next day. That leaves two kids, and neither were babes in diapers, or even toddlers. RP doesn't appear to work, but I see no reason why she cannot. If you are desperate for money: work.
If it's mental illness, or drugs, well, if the mental illness or drugs makes her so out of it and tired and so sloppy....again, she should not be legally responsible for children.
If anything makes you so tired and sloppy that you do to your children what 5year olds are taught in kindergarten not to do, (talk to stranger/get in car with stranger/change clothes near/in front of stranger) you should not be raising children.
Comparing letting your little girl go off with alone with a strange man who 'gave you a creepy feeling', to leaving a preteen home for a few hours is staggering to me. They are not even close to the same. One is criminal child endangerment/neglect/abuse, and one is a common every day judgment call that good parent make depending on the maturity of a child.
Arguably, though those 3 girls were not teens or preteens, they WOULD have been safer if she'd left them home alone. If they'd been at home, Rayne wouldn't have been able to hand Cherish to a strange man in exchange for an invisible Walmart card.
Again, IMO:
RP's desire for a gift card--free money--caused criminal blindness/negligence/endangerment to her children's safety.
BJ: Fighting for custody, to care for his daughter, didn't cause this. Neither did bickering with Rayne and AP. Not even a little.
Australia family: how can they be blamed for not stepping in from an ocean away. Why would they know what was going on? Rayne abandoned her grown daughter years ago and moved to another continent.
I'm sorry you're feeling attacked. No one intends to attack a poster here. We do tend to attack a post, which happens on a lot of threads and is a common part of the discussion/debate. I believe it is one thing to put out your own personal hope for RP And AP to improve their lives. Some/many may not agree, but it's your prerogative, your opinion, and a kind thing to do if you feel compelled to do so. But when a post treads into the area to
spreading the blame of a child's murder or misery on a non-custodial bio father that lived across the country, on friends/family/neighbors who may or may not have offered to 'help' this 'poor, exhausted mom' .... well, it gets people's hackles up.
This particular murder of this particular child on this exact night was EASILY avoidable. This is not one of those "that could have happened to any mom" situations. It's just not.
Cherish died, IMO, because 5 things happened.
1)Donald Smith was let out of prison.
2)A judge went against the recommendation of a child advocate and placed Cherish in the custody of an unsafe parent.
3) Rayne chose to drag three kids shopping with her for non-necessities, instead of leaving them home with their dad/stepdad figure, or having him accompany her to help with the kids.
4)Rayne went against every natural parental instinct 99.9% of the population and willfully chose to endanger her 3 children in a minimum of three different instances for the promise of a Walmart gift card.
5)Donald Smith is a sick monster and did what sick monsters do.
