FL - Henry Sengaroun for rape of 8yo girl, St Petersburg, 2006

[southerngirl]

My oldest child is 12 and she is very mature for her age. There is no way I would allow her to be alone in public.My kids are allowed to play in our fenced backyard with a parent out there with them or with me watching from the window with our guard dog out there with them. They are never allowed in the front yard unless my husband or I are right there with them. They are not allowed to walk past our property ever. They are not allowed to walk over to the neighbor's house or ride their bikes down the street. They are not allowed to cross the street to go jump on the neighbor's trampoline. My kids do not stay home alone. If they are sick, I take off work to be with them. If I am going to the store and they balk about going, guess what? Too darn bad, they come anyway. I don't know when I will feel OK letting them out alone. Like when will I feel OK letting my daughter walk off with a friend to go shopping in the mall while I shop in other stores as well? I don't see that time in the near future. A kid cannot defend themselves against an adult. I know that. I have been there. And I still resent the people who should have protected me and did not. I still live with it every damn day of my life. Again, if the mom didn't see it coming, she darn well should have.

Kidzndogznme, I am so sorry your childhood was darkened by the abuse you endured. I think our personal experiences in childhood greatly influence our parenting later in life. Because I didn't experience sexual abuse as a child, I maybe trust more than I should.

 

[kidzndogznme]

Thank you southern girl.
I know my experiences have definitely made me much more aware of what can and does happen. I definitely have trust issues. At the same time, I read the same articles and watch the same news that all of us do. A person would have to have their head in the sand to not know that pervs are everywhere and esp in places where children are prevalent. My sister was not assaulted and she is almost as protective as I am.

Kidzndogznme, I am so sorry your childhood was darkened by the abuse you endured. I think our personal experiences in childhood greatly influence our parenting later in life. Because I didn't experience sexual abuse as a child, I maybe trust more than I should.

 

[southerngirl]

Thank you southern girl.
I know my experiences have definitely made me much more aware of what can and does happen. I definitely have trust issues. At the same time, I read the same articles and watch the same news that all of us do. A person would have to have their head in the sand to not know that pervs are everywhere and esp in places where children are prevalent. My sister was not assaulted and she is almost as protective as I am.

Pervs are not necessarily everywhere. When we bought a house, we chose the safest neighborhood we could afford and bought one of the cheapest houses there. There are no sexual offenders in my community; I've checked. Of course, there are no guarantees. But dh and I tried to minimize the risks. There have never been any child abductions here. Maybe one murder in the last 5 years. I know of no child sexual assaults at all ( and the crime statistics are routinely published). Someone criticized another poster for bringing up this issue, but the truth is some communities are significantly safer than others. This is a major reason I feel safer in giving my children normal childhood freedom. I feel the risk here, although present, is miniscule.

 

[Bobbisangel]

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. -- A man grabbed a Florida child and raped her in full daylight, police say.



The man who St. Petersburg police said raped the 8-year-old girl remains on the loose.



The victim was leaving a park at about 12:55 p.m. with her 7-year-old brother when the man grabbed her from behind, pulled her to the ground and raped her, police said. Their mother had left them alone for a few minutes to return home and turn off the kitchen stove. They were less than half a block from the family's apartment.



A man playing basketball nearby said he heard the screams and ran to the scene. A motorist who witnessed it began honking her horn and called for help. The perpetrator then got up and ran away.



The girl was treated at the hospital and released.



Police believe they recovered the man's shirt, which he apparently stripped off as he ran away, but they don't know his identity. People in the middle-class neighborhood said he may be a transient.

http://www.wjactv.com/news/9548161/detail.html

I hope that he has a record and that they can get some DNA from his shirt

 

[kidzndogznme]

That would be wonderful if they could get DNA. The family would rest much easier, I am sure.

 

[julianne]

I also believe it's important to give kids normal childhood freedom. I, too, have dropped my 12 year old off at different functions to meet with friends (and leave only when I see that my child has met up with his other friends & has a cell phone), my youngest is 10 and he plays outside with friends and I think that sort of stuff is important to the growth and development of children. My kids know about the dangers out there and are very aware of their situations and surroundings, but even still, my leash on them is still pretty much taut and short, without being too tight. I thinks we've reached a happy medium.

 

[Bobbisangel]

This was a neighborhood park I'm wondering if the mom and her little ones didn't frequent it often. If so, some of the same people in the neighborhood are probably also frequent visitors. I wonder if when the mom realized that she had left her stove on she didn't ask someone that she knew from being at the park at the same times to keep an eye on the kids while she ran home to turn the stove off.

The article said that the kids saw a man watching them and they got scared and started to run home. Maybe if someone was watching them she didn't see them taking off when they did. Instead of the kids running to an adult they headed for home and mom. This could very easily have been the case.

My concern here is with the little girl. I hope the mom got her into therapy right away. Well, after seeing a doctor. It's so important. I'm sure that the mother is being eaten alive with guilt and she doesn't need me to attack her.
The mom can't go back and change what happened. None of us can ever go back and right wrongs in our lives. No matter what the wrongs were. My prayers are with this whole family. Especially for the healing of this little girl.

 

[julianne]

. I'm sure that the mother is being eaten alive with guilt and she doesn't need me to attack her.
The mom can't go back and change what happened. None of us can ever go back and right wrongs in our lives. No matter what the wrongs were. My prayers are with this whole family. Especially for the healing of this little girl.

AMEN to that! The last thing this Mom needs is to be verbally attacked and judged.

 

[Mama-cita]

A bit dramatic, don't you think? I hardly believe this poster was advocating that this sweet little girl be sacrificed to a monster. I think she was pointing out that an increase in freedom is important in the growth arena. A fair point regardless, of the terrible outcome of this case.

I think her point was right on, nothing dramatic about it. A good lesson for learning about the world would be "Don't talk to strangers," not "fend for yourself at the park with only your younger brother to protect you, here in a state which is crawling with child sexual predators."

Come on PEOPLE! Did Carlie Brucia and Jessica Lunsford teach parents in Florida nothing? And for whoever compared this to Jessie's case, let me just say, NO COMPARISON at all, I am sure the bast*rd would have done whatever he needed to do to get in and take her.

No one is saying the rapist is not the fargin' icehole who needs to be castrated then locked up for life in this case. The majority of posters are simply saying that THIS TRAGEDY WAS PREVENTABLE and that this mother demonstrated an EXTREME disregard for her children's safety. Seven and Eight year olds are in SECOND and THIRD grade! They are extremely vulnerable! Now this poor innocent child will have to relive this nightmare for her life because of her mother's actions. Yes, the mother should feel guilty and responsible for what happened, because it wouldn't have happened if her kids were with her, where they should have been. The people who think this mother bears NO responsibility whatsoever remind me of the Britney Spears defenders telling everyone to back off, every mom makes mistakes, yada, yada, yada. Driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with your 8 month old child IN YOUR LAP should automatically earn you a matching pair of locking silver bracelets with a chain connecting them, you can make sure Britney's are platinum for all I care, but she should NOT have gotten out of that situation without some type of formal reprimand (and her explanation, "I'm frum the SAY-outh, it's what we DO" :shiver: southerners should be appalled!)
The bottom line is no one is saying the rapist is NOT TO BLAME! He is! But the saddest part of this whole story is that IT NEVER HAD TO HAPPEN!

 

[Mama-cita]

I hope he has a very large, very horny cell mate who knows exactly what he did to get there!

http://www.tampabays10.com/news/local/article.aspx?storyid=35803http://www.tampabays10.com/news/local/article.aspx?storyid=35794

 

[lilsister]

Amen, Mamacita!

 

[Marie]

Pervs are not necessarily everywhere. When we bought a house, we chose the safest neighborhood we could afford and bought one of the cheapest houses there. There are no sexual offenders in my community; I've checked. Of course, there are no guarantees. But dh and I tried to minimize the risks. There have never been any child abductions here. Maybe one murder in the last 5 years. I know of no child sexual assaults at all ( and the crime statistics are routinely published). Someone criticized another poster for bringing up this issue, but the truth is some communities are significantly safer than others. This is a major reason I feel safer in giving my children normal childhood freedom. I feel the risk here, although present, is miniscule.

I agree with all you've said. And I feel we need to carefully weigh the miniscule risks of child abduction, rape, etc. against the determintal effects of keeping too tight a leash on our children. It's the reason my husband works so hard, the reason we chose a small town over a city, and the reason we live in our neighborhood - so we can, as safely as possible, allow our children normal childhood freedoms.

 

[Mama-cita]

I agree with all you've said. And I feel we need to carefully weigh the miniscule risks of child abduction, rape, etc. against the determintal effects of keeping too tight a leash on our children. It's the reason my husband works so hard, the reason we chose a small town over a city, and the reason we live in our neighborhood - so we can, as safely as possible, allow our children normal childhood freedoms.

So do you feel that leaving a seven year old, and an eight year old [two kids who may not even be able to write cursive yet] alone and unsupervised in a state who may as well be dubbed the kiddie perv capital of the world was just allowing them their normal childhood freedoms? I am sorry, but as a pediatric nurse and a mother, I don't think supervising your 7 and 8 year old is "keeping too tight a leash on them."

 

[Marie]

So do you feel that leaving a seven year old, and an eight year old [two kids who may not even be able to write cursive yet] alone and unsupervised in a state who may as well be dubbed the kiddie perv capital of the world was just allowing them their normal childhood freedoms? I am sorry, but as a pediatric nurse and a mother, I don't think supervising your 7 and 8 year old is "keeping too tight a leash on them."

I personally see no problem with letting a 7 and 8yo play 1/2 a block from their house at a park where children are supposed to play under the right conditions. I don't particuarly care what the perv rate is for the STATE of FL, the neighborhood perv rate would be more of a concern, along with a whole host of other issues best judged by individual parents who know where they live and understand their children - like I said, weigh the risks in your particular case & make your best educated choice. It's not nearly the same as being raped I'm sure, but being overly controlled by hyper-worried parents can majorly screw up a kid, too.

Btw, cursive writing is taught in 1st grade now, printing in Pre and K.

 

[julianne]

I personally see no problem with letting a 7 and 8yo play 1/2 a block from their house at a park where children are supposed to play under the right conditions. I don't particuarly care what the perv rate is for the STATE of FL, the neighborhood perv rate would be more of a concern, along with a whole host of other issues best judged by individual parents who know where they live and understand their children - like I said, weigh the risks in your particular case & make your best educated choice. It's not nearly the same as being raped I'm sure, but being overly controlled by hyper-worried parents can majorly screw up a kid, too.

Btw, cursive writing is taught in 1st grade now, printing in Pre and K.

Well said, Marie!

 

[Floh]

In my opinion, never let children out of your sight.

take this story in the British news today:

Nine years detention for rapist, 15

"A teenager who raped an 11-year-old girl in the toilet of a busy supermarket was sentenced to nine years' detention."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/coventry_warwickshire/5202022.stm

A supermarket toilet . . .

"He told the boy the rape had been aggravated by the fact that the slightly-built victim had been "abducted" from her mother while she was visiting the usually safe environment of the store.

"You took an opportunity when (the victim) became separated from her mother." the judge told the defendant.

"You seized her from behind and, with her eyes and her mouth covered by your hands, you dragged her to a toilet cubicle.

"The incident appears to have been concluded abruptly because of the fortunate arrival of somebody else into the toilet block."

 

[southerngirl]

I agree with all you've said. And I feel we need to carefully weigh the miniscule risks of child abduction, rape, etc. against the determintal effects of keeping too tight a leash on our children. It's the reason my husband works so hard, the reason we chose a small town over a city, and the reason we live in our neighborhood - so we can, as safely as possible, allow our children normal childhood freedoms.

I agree totally with you, Marie. As you said, parents need to consider all factors such as the safety of their community, the maturity of their children, etc. when making decisions about when and where to leave their children alone. To paint all mothers who leave their children alone with a wide brush as "irresponsible" or "negligent" is unfair and wrong. I am sure this mother will not be blamed by the legal system either. I too feel it is detrimental to the wellbeing of children to make them live in constant fear and to keep them on too tight of a leash. I teach my children safety rules and we have communication tools always available such as cells and walkie talkies. Something could still happen, but we've done our best to minimize the possibility. My heart is with this child AND her mother.

 

[Jules]

Btw, cursive writing is taught in 1st grade now, printing in Pre and K.

Not in most school districts. My son began learning it in the 3rd grade and it was required to be used last year in 4th grade. That seems to be the norm among many of our friends' kids scattered across the US - including Florida.

 

[southcitymom]

It's fascinating to read the different viewpoints on this thread. I believe that there are certainly incidents where a child is harmed and the parent(s) are clearly negligent.

For example, on another thread, a mother left her 3-year-old at home alone in the middle of the night to go see a man and the child fell out of a window and is lucky not to be dead. That mother's choice was clearly negligent and no one on that thread is saying anything but that.

On this thread, however, there are two divergent viewpoints with relatively equal support. That fact right there shows that this mother's choice was not clearly negligent at all. Plenty of people, myself included, might have made the same choice as she did. In no way can she reasonably be called a poor parent.

My heart goes out to the people on this board who have experienced childhood or adult violence. Of course those experiences would color the parenting decisions you make. My childhood experiences temper the parenting decisions I make. I grew up in a small town where I rode around on my bike and went places with myself or friends by the age of 10. I was safe and to this day, I feel safe in this world. I am completely unable to parent my children from a place of fear.

I don't think "times were different" back when I grew up. I think there were just as many pedophiles romaing the streets then as there are today. The difference today is that because of our media-saturated culture, we hear about these incidents. And we hear many terrible details of these incidents. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing - as an adult, I feel that my generation is much more in touch with child safety from pedophiles and abusers than I feel my parents generation was. I think we are more aware today and make better decisions.

To imply that the mother in this situation should have known that there are pedophiles around every corner is unfair. Not everyone hangs out on boards like this or is as fascinated with these moribund subjects as we are. Because we read a new thread every minute concerning such terrible things, our brains are more likely to jump to the dark conclusions about life today. This skewed pereception may or may not reflect reality. But it most certainly does not reflect the reality of everyone.

Many people live in and believe in a world where they can leave a 7 and 8 year old 1/2 a block away from their house for a quick second. I live in and believe in this type of world. And, as I said in an earlier post, the vast majority of parents who make this type of decision will not ever return to find that their child has been assaulted.

Blessings and peace to this family.

 

[TisHerself]

It's fascinating to read the different viewpoints on this thread. I believe that there are certainly incidents where a child is harmed and the parent(s) are clearly negligent.

For example, on another thread, a mother left her 3-year-old at home alone in the middle of the night to go see a man and the child fell out of a window and is lucky not to be dead. That mother's choice was clearly negligent and no one on that thread is saying anything but that.

On this thread, however, there are two divergent viewpoints with relatively equal support. That fact right there shows that this mother's choice was not clearly negligent at all. Plenty of people, myself included, might have made the same choice as she did. In no way can she reasonably be called a poor parent.

My heart goes out to the people on this board who have experienced childhood or adult violence. Of course those experiences would color the parenting decisions you make. My childhood experiences temper the parenting decisions I make. I grew up in a small town where I rode around on my bike and went places with myself or friends by the age of 10. I was safe and to this day, I feel safe in this world. I am completely unable to parent my children from a place of fear.

I don't think "times were different" back when I grew up. I think there were just as many pedophiles romaing the streets then as there are today. The difference today is that because of our media-saturated culture, we hear about these incidents. And we hear many terrible details of these incidents. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing - as an adult, I feel that my generation is much more in touch with child safety from pedophiles and abusers than I feel my parents generation was. I think we are more aware today and make better decisions.

To imply that the mother in this situation should have known that there are pedophiles around every corner is unfair. Not everyone hangs out on boards like this or is as fascinated with these moribund subjects as we are. Because we read a new thread every minute concerning such terrible things, our brains are more likely to jump to the dark conclusions about life today. This skewed pereception may or may not reflect reality. But it most certainly does not reflect the reality of everyone.

Many people live in and believe in a world where they can leave a 7 and 8 year old 1/2 a block away from their house for a quick second. I live in and believe in this type of world. And, as I said in an earlier post, the vast majority of parents who make this type of decision will not ever return to find that their child has been assaulted.

Blessings and peace to this family.

Excellent post, I also want to say all this judgement of this mother is really very sad. I hope that the people who are closest to her in her life are not sitting in judgement of her the way the are on this board or the family will never heal.