GA - Melody Onyonyor for mutilating baby girl's genitals, LaGrange, 2010

[mysterygirl]

sad gives me ulcers.

pissed off gives me headaches.

i cant win

Yep............and this makes me both!

 

[kgeaux]

I got nothing. Last name Onyonor...not to make this racial, in any way. But is this okay in her culture? Is she herself mutilated?

If it was cruelty and nothing more, then hang her high. If it is a cultural belief and she has been taught to do this, then I will bite my tongue, no matter how much it disgusts me.

I'd bet my bottom dollar this is a cultural thing. Wouldn't make it right, but it would mean the mother was not acting out of cruelty.

 

[kbl8201]

in her mind she wouldnt be acting out of cruelty.

in anyone's logical mind she would be.

 

[not_my_kids]

in her mind she wouldnt be acting out of cruelty.

in anyone's logical mind she would be.

To a logical mind of a different culture, she would have been giving her daughter worth and making her similar to others in her culture.
It really pays to look into the influences, learn the psychology here, it's just not that easy to shrug off as insanity.

Although this woman, seemingly being americanized, is likely going to turn out to be just nuts.

Remember kbl...here, many people think it's okay to shove metal rods through infant's earlobes. We call it "ear piercing" and inflict permanent scarification on our kids in the name of beauty...but people aren't calling every mother of a child with pierced ears crazy. Because our society says it's okay. This is not an individual problem, it's a world problem. People have to come together, as people, not with country or gender or religious affiliations...and we know how well that has worked in the past. It does, but it takes time to make change.

 

[kbl8201]

seemingly amercinied? she was born here......i woud hope shes amercinized

this is plain butchery i dont care where your from, what your culture or race is. it's frowned upon in africa now, so what right does anyone have to do it here?

 

[Missizzy]

Thank you NMK, for bringing up ear piercing. I have to admit I was too weinie to bring it up as I figured people would either slough it off as unimportant or run to opposite sides of the argument and stay plastered there.

These issues all come to a head in a melting pot society. The French and the Germans let their 16 year olds (and often younger) drink beer and wine. We'd hang an American parent who tried that. Americans are so committed to infant safety that we'll drive 100 miles with a shrieking infant buckled tightly into a plastic seat where a Latina or Asian mom would think that was abuse and swaddle the baby in a sling. African girls have their earlobes extended and their lower lips stretched. Filipino tribes insert quills in cheeks. North African babies have slices cut into their cheeks to make crying (from the salt) painful. Inuit babies can be tethered for hours as parents butcher so as to keep the baby from the fire. In India, four year olds can be tied to rug frames and forced to work for hours. Muslim girls can be hobbled from free play by the long garments their faith requires. I could go on and on, but you get the point. And yes, we Americans wheel our baby girls and boys into the mall and have metal posts shot through their tiny earlobes. Abuse or cultural norm?

Every thing is relative and every thing is open for discussion. I do agree, however, that the sexual abuse of children is a deal breaker for me. And the removal of a girl's clitoris is sexual abuse. If a person is caught mutilating, they deserve the punishment that the judge hands down.

This is where we can spend our money on education. Send a donation to one of the following fine agencies working to bring an end to this practice:

http://www.unicef.org/support/index.html

http://www.wadinet.de/projekte/appeal-fgm.htm

Even $10 makes a big difference. When you are outraged, write letters, call your representative, talk to your pastor, and send donations to agencies/charities which you have thoroughly checked out. It really does help to feel that you are working to change something you feel strongly about.

 

[sniperacer]

I got nothing. Last name Onyonor...not to make this racial, in any way. But is this okay in her culture? Is she herself mutilated?

If it was cruelty and nothing more, then hang her high. If it is a cultural belief and she has been taught to do this, then I will bite my tongue, no matter how much it disgusts me.

BBM this was my first thought / question. Afterall, one of the most popular reason for male circumcision is so son matches dad.

This is still a strange case and thankfully rare in the U.S.

 

[PeteyGirl]

I'm leaning in that direction myself as more comes out.

Me too, this is a crazy woman's doing, post partum psychosis or something. "Circumcision" or infibulation or whatever disgusting mutilation is just what it reminds us of.

 

[Missizzy]

NMK--

"And outrage, when used appropriately can change things."

One of your finest posts. I've gone back and reread it several times. So much to think about. Your mindset was actually the catalyst for me dropping my inhibitions about talking about the unthinkable--things that made "normal" people uncomfortable.

When we talk, we think; when we think, we learn; when we learn, we ask for change; when we ask for change and it is not forthcoming, we fight for what we know is right.

Thank you.

 

[kbl8201]

well i saw this stuff on a documentary like 15 years ago and it sickened me then and it sickens me now. the minute it doesnt sicken me is the minute i can be declared a sociopath

 

[not_my_kids]

I am so glad that no one got plastered on either side of the ear piercing debate, because that wasn't what I was going for. I was only going for the comparison as far as cultural norms in respect to desirability. Genital mutilation is about raising material worth of a person, or their desirability, the exact same reason that we pierce little girls ears...to make them pretty or more desirable.

Now...these two things are totally opposite ends of the spectrum, as far as pain levels or infection risk or any of the specifics of the two procedures, but the mindset is the same. And for that reason, it isn't okay to pass genital mutilation off as "craziness" or "lack of logic". It is a belief that they are doing somehting for their daughters that is unaviodable. In some of the areas that still allow mutilation, a woman without a husband will end up a prostitute or dead very quickly. If she can't get a husband she will have no life, and with perfectly "suitable" mutilated women still available for marriage, putting a child through this is the logical solution. Please remember I do not mean the U.S. but the underdeveloped areas that still allow mutilation or have a large blackmarket for it.

That doesn't make it right, but there it is. I still think it barbaric and abusive, but, as shown with the other case in GA that I linked where a child was mutilated, as long as it's allowed anywhere, people that do mutilate their children in the U.S. have the "cultural defense" and get about a quarter of the jail time they could get and deserve. That right there is reason enough to fight it worldwide.

 

[kgeaux]

in her mind she wouldnt be acting out of cruelty.

in anyone's logical mind she would be.

You cannot make the mistake of believing that everyone from every culture has the same sense of right and wrong. It is possible this woman was taught that she was "helping" the girl by performing the surgery. In some countries, girls who have not undergone this procedure aren't marriageable. In some countries, beliefs that defy the usa interpretation of logic are so ingrained that it isn't even analyzed, it is just accepted.

There are many varied cultures in our little blue planet, and many would argue that ours is among the worst.

The woman broke the law, she deserves to face the penalty of the law. But she may indeed have been acting completely without cruelty.

I may not have made myself clear: I do not agree that the removal or mutilation of ANYONE'S body is "right." I believe it is wrong. But there are many in the world that do not agree with me, as a result of cultural influences. We must at least acknowledge that culture may have a part of many activities that we think are wrong.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Celebrate diversity and all that.

*Sigh* Trying

 

[kbl8201]

she was born here, why is it a cultur shock to not realize this is wrong? there's also the little fact that even she has said this wasnt a cultural thing.......you'd think if that was her defense she'd be doing it.

 

[kbl8201]

many people in the world think murdering there daughter in cold blood cause she was raped is the right thing to do too.
other people think dogs and cats are a gourmet meal.....

 

[kgeaux]

and 'melody' doesnt exactly scream africn immigrant to me

Actually, I attend a church which is pastored by an African immigrant to USA. Because the nation his family comes from was a "colony" of England, it is completely normal for every child to have an "English" first name and an "African" middle and last name.

Celebrate diversity and all that.

Hmmmm. I don't think anyone here is celebrating diversity, Adnoid. I do think some of us are pointing out that cultural beliefs ARE diverse. It just is, acknowledging the fact does not equate with agreeing with the act.

 

[kbl8201]

how abut the fact her maiden name is simmons?